The Isolated Blurt Thread XXXIII: Between a Lime and a Hard Place

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me: any clue how my house burned down

detective: fireworks

me: *sadly* yeah I guess it does
 
Man: "Are you ladies from Queensland?"

Them: "Wales"

M: "Sorry, I don't know the lingo; "Are you Wales from Queensland?"

Man woke up in the ICU a week later.

When asked where he was from, my aunt's bother would say, "Wales...
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Alaska"
 
Bloke on the landy forum explaining the difference between the gendarmerie and the CRS:

The French have run of the mill plod and super plod.

For some reason it absolutely cracked me up.
 
De Tre Piker (Myrkur)


Peaceful

Haunting

Quietly dark
 
My local when I lived in CA had three English barmaids. They used to fine anyone a dollar if they asked if they were Australian.
i've most often been asked if i'm irish, australian, german or south african :confused::confused: how on earth people confuse london english with south afrikaans is beyond me (even if afrikaans devolved from a west germanic speech coloured by dutch settlers)

kind of get the aussie thing, as it sounds closer than any of the others

me: any clue how my house burned down

detective: fireworks

me: *sadly* yeah I guess it does
uh huh
 
Fight or flight kicks in. Some many break fences and gates.

Bring them inside.

We need more room
Build an extension
A colorful palace
Spare no expense now

Come to this house
Be one of us
Make this your house
Be one of us

Come to me now
Come to me now
 
Mine are all in, fast on. Til 5am when it's PIGEON TIME.

I thought I had seen it all with the cats. Today I notice a cat tail hanging outside of the tone hole on my bass drum. Middle (tiny) cat inside. Nobody else in this house can go in there.
 
July 4th can fuck the right off.
For so many reasons.
Fireworks and gunfire can fuck off, too.


Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

:)
 
I love fireworks, but they're banned here so they only time you really see them is on New Year's, Sydney Harbour.

Cats, man. They hear everything.
 
Just had a gander at local news, loads of pubs closed early due to "irresponsible behavior" and closed til further notice. Multiple arrests and injuries.

Twats.
 
it's not at all creepy how much jr's gf+covid looks like his mama

no. not at all....

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2019/11/donald-trump-jr-kimberly-guilfoyle-booed

On the topic of his decision to out the alleged whistle-blower, his girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, told the audience she was in the bathroom when the whole thing went down and then said this: “I left you alone for 10 minutes; what happens when mamacita’s gone?”

Then on Sunday the first boy and his mother-girlfriend stopped by the University of California, Los Angeles, to pimp the tome
 
Just had a gander at local news, loads of pubs closed early due to "irresponsible behavior" and closed til further notice. Multiple arrests and injuries.

Twats.

That would shit me. There's always a fucking clown who goes out of his way to try to ruin it for everyone. Can't handle the grog fucken stay home.
 
Fireworks are banned in Anchorage and the Mat-Su. Firefighters already put out a brush fire caused by fireworks in the Mat-Su today.
 
That would shit me. There's always a fucking clown who goes out of his way to try to ruin it for everyone. Can't handle the grog fucken stay home.

Oh yes. It'll be some little spalp having had two shandies thinking he's Billy Big Bollocks.
 
I remember climbing (OK walking) on the Matanuska Glacier. At the time, you could still chop chunks for your cooler. Have they stopped that?
 
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