lark sparrow
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2002
- Posts
- 1,715
How do you decide your limits or your sub's limits?
On first glance this may seem obvious, hard limits are hard limits. But, we all have vanilla ways of relating and D/s ways of relating. Have you ever had a situation that made you uncomfortable in that it is something you would definitely not do in a vanilla relationship, but were doing in a D/s relationship? Yes, it depends and plays on the power exchange - but how do you separate, define, decide what is acceptable and what isn't?
I'm not sure if I have explained this question well enough, and I can't come up with a great example right now - but I have had moments where I was unsure if I was going too far. If I was still maintaining my "entire" self, or if a D/s situation and my submission to it was somehow compromising, rather than enhancing. Make any sense to anyone? It could be simple uncertainity in a new situation, or possibly that you are going down a path that does not suit you - I know there are no easy answers on this one, but I am curious.
There's alot of talk about negotiation and consent especially regarding play, but isn't there a fine line sometimes in ongoing, daily relationships beyond the play?
On first glance this may seem obvious, hard limits are hard limits. But, we all have vanilla ways of relating and D/s ways of relating. Have you ever had a situation that made you uncomfortable in that it is something you would definitely not do in a vanilla relationship, but were doing in a D/s relationship? Yes, it depends and plays on the power exchange - but how do you separate, define, decide what is acceptable and what isn't?
I'm not sure if I have explained this question well enough, and I can't come up with a great example right now - but I have had moments where I was unsure if I was going too far. If I was still maintaining my "entire" self, or if a D/s situation and my submission to it was somehow compromising, rather than enhancing. Make any sense to anyone? It could be simple uncertainity in a new situation, or possibly that you are going down a path that does not suit you - I know there are no easy answers on this one, but I am curious.
There's alot of talk about negotiation and consent especially regarding play, but isn't there a fine line sometimes in ongoing, daily relationships beyond the play?
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