The ESC 2011 Bashing Thread

[Svenskaflicka]

In 12 minutes, the final of the European Song Contest begins. As usual, I will be here, vomiting verbal poison over the singers, their outfits, their dances, etc.

If anyone wants to join me, please feel free.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

OK, rant no 1:

Could someone pretty please pull the plug on that annoying screen with all the flashing lights and colors, BEFORE I get an epileptic seizure?

It's hard on the eyes!

 

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FINLAND: Bah. Boring. We sent a cute young boy too, but ours is much cuter, AND he has a song with GO in the melody.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"Dara-dam-dara-dam"???

Did he forget the words, or ARE those the lyrics??? Oh well, we once had a song that went "she's so yeah yeah whow whow", so...

 

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BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA: Very similar to Norway's "Fairytale" in 2009, but without the energy.

I'll go and make coffee. Will be back when they're finished with their song.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

DENMARK: Nice song, very easy to catch, but why in heck is the lead singer wearing a back-less shirt???

 

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LITHUANIA: Gorgeous dress, boring song. Ballads don't belong in the ESC, they just make the audience fall asleep.

 

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HUNGARY: Ok, NOW we're getting down to business. I can totally imagine this one being played in the discos over Europe this summer.

 

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IRELAND: I thought Dana International from Israel was supposed to be this year's GBLT-alibi..?

 

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SWEDEN: Yeah, we know... the dance... but the song is good, and Eric Saade is cute as a kitten.

 

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ESTONIA: Sesame Street with diabetes.

 

[CharleyH]

Lauren and I are with you to make joy, and fucking fun.

 

[CharleyH]

Even though Portugal didn't make it to the final. SHAME ON YOU, EUROPE!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Lauren and I are with you to make joy, and fucking fun.

Yay! Welcome girls, I was feeling lonely.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

GREECE: Rule no.1 - black suits and gangsta-style caps DO NOT mix.

 

[Liar]

Just zapped in to it and was greeted with the worst rap in human history. That's abysmal even by ESC standards. What the fuckity?


...aaand an etno chorus apparently. Riiight.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Even though Portugal didn't make it to the final. SHAME ON YOU, EUROPE!

Totally missed Portugal's song - was it in the first semi-final?

 

[matriarch]

BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA: Very similar to Norway's "Fairytale" in 2009, but without the energy.

I'll go and make coffee. Will be back when they're finished with their song.

Started like amateur night at the local pub.....but improved. I agree, just not enough energy.

 

[Liar]

Totally missed Portugal's song - was it in the first semi-final?

Find it on Youtube. A modern lassic.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Just zapped in to it and was greeted with the worst rap in human history. That's abysmal even by ESC standards. What the fuckity?


...aaand an etno chorus apparently. Riiight.

Abysmal? You watched Ireland, then?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Find it on Youtube. A modern lassic.

Lassic is right.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

RUSSIA: Awwww, the 80'ies are back.

 

[matriarch]

DENMARK: Nice song, very easy to catch, but why in heck is the lead singer wearing a back-less shirt???

Boring.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

It's nice to see that Russia has a much more open attitude towards gayness these days.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Yay! After one hour of only me ranting, we finally have some people here. Great! It's so much more fun to rant together with friends.

I missed you.