The Devil's Dictionary, Literotica Edition

[Tio_Narratore]

I found myself in a Venn state of tripartite intersection this morn, and thought it might be worthwhile starting a writerly thread in that mental space. One set of thought was in the Writers’ Challenge thread, Make Me Dirty, the second was in Allard’s thread on Seldom-Used Words, and the third in Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary, and the intersection seemed a place where we might play with the meaning of words, giving them more of a Literotic cast then their standard definition would denote. Bierce even had a few himself, such as,

Adamant noun. A mineral frequently found beneath a corset. Soluble in solicitate of gold.

I’m not sure if there’ll be interest, but I’ll try starting it off with...

Aback adverb. A sexual position commonly entered into by surprise; a tergo. Ex. Though she knew her date was aroused, she hadn’t expected to be taken aback by him.

It would be nice, if anyone wants to continue, to do it in alphabetical order, but I’m content to let things go as they will.

 

[SamScribble]

Nice idea, Tio. I promise to give it some proper thought; I think it deserves to be given some proper thought.

 

[TE999]

The Washington Post has a contest every year where readers submit alternative meanings of words. Some really clever ones are submitted. For instance 'Pokemon' A Jamaican proctologist.

One of Dorothy Parker's famous quips was using the word 'horticulture' in a sentence, to wit "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

I'll work on your idea.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Nice idea, Tio. I promise to give it some proper thought; I think it deserves to be given some proper thought.

And here I was hoping for some improper thoughts, Sam...

The Washington Post has a contest every year where readers submit alternative meanings of words. Some really clever ones are submitted. For instance 'Pokemon' A Jamaican proctologist.

One of Dorothy Parker's famous quips was using the word 'horticulture' in a sentence, to wit "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

I'll work on your idea.

Thanks, TE; I'll have to keep an eye out for the Washington Post contest. I like that def of Pokemon. And thanks also for bringing up Dorothy Parker's classic; I get a laugh evry time I see it.

For both of you guys (and everyone else), I was just proposing it as something that might be a bit of writerly fun, so do take it lightly...

 

[voluptuary_manque]

It has promise, I'll admit, but I'm not sure quite how to deal with it. I will ponder.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I thought it might be a bit difficult, though interesting. I had considered playingit with a primer, that is, each definer would pick the next word to be defined, but decided that might be too constraining.

I'll try to 'prime' it myself once more, and note that any entry would be welcome, puns and malapropisms in particular...


bivalve noun. A sexual outlet for desires that flow both ways; sometimes opened by a serving of oysters.

coincide noun. Either of the two men included in a DP.

 

[Dual_Triode]

A feeble attempt:

hormones noun. The sounds heard by the midnight cleaning crew at the Chicken Ranch.

massageny noun: The irrational fear of the naked masseuse.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

They're fine, DT; thanks for the additions.

 

[SamScribble]

Not my own work - the credit belongs to Mae West (or one of her scriptwriters) - but perhaps worthy of inclusion?

Curve, noun, the loveliest distance between two points

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Thanks, Sam. Any source is fine; the idea is to enjoy the word play. I'll try moving from 'C' to "D."

diamondback 1. A demand made by a suitor when he finds his fiance in bed with another man; 2. A Material Girl; a woman who may be enticed into a supine position through the proper application of valuable gifts.

 

[SamScribble]

evince, verb, to convince someone you have, thus far, only met online that meeting you in real life would not turn out to be a big mistake

 

[estragon]

Testicle--a frozen sexual organ found in your freezer next to the popsicle.

 

[estragon]

Analogy--the study of assholes.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Nice ones, estragon.

you too, Sam. so on to an "f" word...

flyswatter noun. A flat piece of perforated rubber attached to a handle. Chiefly used by Dommes to warm up their subs' vital parts prior to undressing.

 

[estragon]

Tio, good one!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

gyroscope noun. A viewing glass especially designed for close observation of hips during performances of the Ballet National du Tahiti.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

hauteur noun. A French restaurant chain featuring large-bosomed waitresses.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

gymnosperm noun A prohibition on sexual activites during phys ed in a boys' school.

(Just trying the thread again to see if there are any takers...)

 

[PayDay]

innuendo - verb : Back door action.

 

[PayDay]

sacerdotal - verb, adj, noun : Engaging a penis against anything in visual range.

 

[mynameisben]

unflappable adj. A persistent state of calm expressed by chickens after their wings have been pulled off.

 

[PayDay]

fellowship - noun : 1. A penis. 2. A vessel passenger'd entirely by men of one sexual orientation.

 

[oggbashan]

osteospermum - (said as Osteo-Sperm-Mum) the cause of pregnancy in a young attractive wife of a much older man. If the child is acknowledged as his, the triumph of belief over experience.

 

[oggbashan]

Candleabra - a bra to support and display breasts so that they attract men like moths to a flame.

Candidate - Having eaten pussy infected with candida aka thrush.

Canine - to inflict nine consecutive strokes of a cane on a naked behind. The next, cant - is not recommended. One thousand strokes could be life-threatening.

Cannelloni - Ella's yoni can take almost anything.

Canister - Ella's sister can too.

Canula - She can't.

Canon - priest who can't.

Cannon - priest who shouldn't.

canonicity - Vatican City (full of Canons and Cannons).

Canonize - to be made a priest, canon or cannon.

Cannonade - 1. member of church e.g. nun, choir member, irresistible temptation to Canons and Cannons 2. fizzy drink that produces wind and shit.

Ferrate - to fuck like ferrets (or canons or cannons).

Cantabile - sickness caused by inserting too much or unsuitable items into yoni.

Canticle - ticklish yoni or tickling yoni. Sometimes caused by inserting small penis.

Cantilever - forceps used to deliver baby, or to insert unsuitable objects.

Canvas - a yoni that can swallow almost anything vast.

Canvass - a yoni that is a canvas and will swallow snakes too.

Canyon - even larger than Canvass.

Canteen - definition not given in accordance with Literotica's rules.

 

[pizzaboyatdoor]

(hehehe.....this looks like a really FUN thread )

MUFFLED: What a muff does when applied firmly to the lips of a lover that has a really, really loud & bad scream when he or she cums.

OVEREXERTION: 1. What a writer does to himself & his fans when he stuffs too many cliches, analogies, and/or metaphors in the same story (make note to self, self! ) 2. What an LE addict does when he attempts to not only READ a three-boner story; but also tries to take care of ALL them in ONE, same sitting down time period, reading it!

(just those couple so far....but my brain will twist up a few more soon, i'm sure )