The Confession Thread

[Pyper]

In the light of the fact that many of you have fallen away from the Catholic Church, or various other churchly institutions, I have started this thread so that you may cleanse your souls and once again be pure in God's/Goddess's/Great Spirit's/ and or Great Turtle's eyes.

Does guilt weigh heavily upon your conscience? Did you steal a quarter from your mommy's purse when you were five? Did you run over an innocent kitty cat last week? Did you cheat on your lover yesterday? Here is the place to confess it.

I shalt start first. I confess that, last month, my mother told me to go to confession, and after much hemming and hawing, I agreed. I went out for ice cream instead. Heh.

 

[cherrypop]

I'm not Catholic...

Do I still have to confess??? *looking petrified* I'm exhausted, already!

 

[KillerMuffin]

I only confess after so advised by my highy paid legal dream team of Siren (head star lawyer), Oscar the Grouch, Elmo, and SuperGrover. There are such things as self incrimination and a statute of limitations.

 

[Pyper]

Admit it. Your souls are all as black as tea kettles. Go on, tell the Great Turtle your sins. You know you want to.

 

[Ask For More]

I'm innocent
Honest!

 

[Dillinger]

Not me... I use that kettle to make Great Turtle Soup.

 

[Siren]

Okay I will confess, I am not afraid...........

 

[Dillinger]

Lots of you already think I'm too verbose - if I actually started confessing... it would take years...

 

[Pyper]

Well, I guess Goku's okay, and Siren, because she confessed...but the rest of you are going to burn in hell! And I don't mean the cushy first circle, I mean the crappy ninth circle!

 

[Ask For More]

I confess to find Pyper devilishly enticing......time to burn in hell for me! *slucks off down the road to hell to look for snowballs*

 

[Dillinger]

Personally I prefer the ninth bolgia of the eighth circle... but hey, I'm no Nimrod.

 

[cherrypop]

I confess! I confess!

I'm afraid I'll burn in hell if I really confess! hehehe

 

[CreamyLady]

Bless me, Father, I have sinned.

It has been, mmm, oh, maybe 30 years since my last confession. My sins are:

1. Thinking impure thoughts about Kyle B.

2. Having sex with Kyle B., and all the other sex I had after Kyle B. and before Dave D.

3. Marrying Dave D. without really loving him.

4. Divorcing Dave D.

5. Working for lawyers.

6. Having sex with Daniel C.

7. Having sex with Neal B.

8. Having sex with Bill P.

9. Having sex with Martin D.

10. Having sex with Darlene M.

11. Having sex with Donald B.

12. Really, really, really wanting to have sex with S.

13. Thinking impure thoughts about S., and counting the minutes until I can HAVE sex with S.

14. Oh, yes. Missing mass every Sunday for the last 30 years, and renouncing my faith, and becoming a witch.

That's pretty much it, Father.

[Act of Contrition]
[Penance -- 500 Our Fathers, 500 Hail Marys, and probably nonstop rosaries until the end of my days!]

 

[Guest]

There was this one time........

Wait... no.... saw that on tv...

well then I....... no didn't do that either

one night I...... aww fuck didn't do that either..


ok fine... I have nothing to share

 

[Problem Child]

I farted at work today.


several times.

 

[cherrypop]

Now that deserves a...

HOLY WOW!!!!

 

[Pyper]

CreamyLady, I think there's a bumper sticker somewhere along those lines...I'll find it for ya.

 

[Siren]

PC ...you are making me really horny for you again....

 

[Mistress]

I'm already gong to Hell confessing or not....
Besides..the thread would melt if I put everything down......

 

[CreamyLady]

CreamyLady, I think there's a bumper sticker somewhere along those lines...I'll find it for ya.

Probably. By the way, I only hit the highlights!

 

[Pyper]

Here it is. Not that I'm implying you're a lesbian.

http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/media/missedchurchlesbian.jpg

 

[Ask For More]

doesn't leave much to the imagination does it?

 

[cherrypop]

omg pyper....

I'm cracking up here!

 

[CreamyLady]

That's pretty funny, Pyper, but not strictly accurate.

The only bumper sticker on my car right now is "Normal People Worry Me."

 

[MinkSoul]

I Confess... I Confess {{Sob}} I Confess...


so.... how was that?


what'd ya mean ya gotta confess TO something? hang on..... i'll get back to ya on that one....

i didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition...