Confessions (infidelity)

[shizzz]

I wanted to start a thread where people could confess what drove them to cheat.

When your cheating became known did you stay, (why) and did it heal?

What did it take to repair/how long?

Also looking for people who were cheated on, and what drove them to leave or stay with the offender

I ask because I can see (if I take the role of my wife’s friend) why she cheated (needed to get that ‘feeling’ again) I can understand. As her spouse I’m furious. As a man I’m hurt.

Depending on the angle I take, my mental space changes and it’s been hard to heal

 

[Saint_Ann]

I wanted to start a thread where people could confess what drove them to cheat.

When your cheating became known did you stay, (why) and did it heal?

What did it take to repair/how long?

Also looking for people who were cheated on, and what drove them to leave or stay with the offender

I ask because I can see (if I take the role of my wife’s friend) why she cheated (needed to get that ‘feeling’ again) I can understand. As her spouse I’m furious. As a man I’m hurt.

Depending on the angle I take, my mental space changes and it’s been hard to heal

You first.

 

[shizzz]

Well I was cheated on, and stayed for the kids. Ow they are getting older I am finding myself conflicted, and all my old triggers seem to be getting bad again. Wrestling with my path forward. So I thought I’d check with the litsters, both transgressors and transgressees their thoughts on the act and the response, and all that comes with it.

Is my path unique. Or have others experienced the same

I’ve found it hard to believe she really wants to be with me and has done the same (stayed for the kids) as I did.

 

[juttjaw]

Well I was cheated on, and stayed for the kids. Ow they are getting older I am finding myself conflicted, and all my old triggers seem to be getting bad again. Wrestling with my path forward. So I thought I’d check with the litsters, both transgressors and transgressees their thoughts on the act and the response, and all that comes with it.

Is my path unique. Or have others experienced the same

I’ve found it hard to believe she really wants to be with me and has done the same (stayed for the kids) as I did.

My ex didn't cheat, technically, but she might as well have. I just couldn't see a life without the family we created together. It was like looking into a black hole, nothing but blackness when I thought of leaving. Couldn't see what would happen after she was gone. When it happend, it was like a giant gut punch, but I couldn't stay. Leaving her was the best thing I ever did and I'm really curious why I didn't years before. I mean, I know why, the kids.

Divorce or separation is hard on children, but so is an untrusting, toxic relationship, with their mother or anyone else. They know, then they are told to keep secrets for one parent or the other. That certainly isn't something they need. Divorce or separation is much better. I made a rule after we split. I made it for myself, my girls and any new partner. Absolute honesty. It's harder than you think, but being honest and telling the truth, sometimes takes work. Especially, if you're in a terrible relationship. I never asked my kids to lie for me, keep secrets, or close their eyes to any behavior. Showing them how to stand up for yourself and those you love, is much better than acting like you're happy. It may take awhile for them to realize it, but if you keep walking that walk, they will understand and aim for those types of interactions. Always remember, every thing you do, those kids are watching. Act accordingly.

 

[shizzz]

You first.

Your up

 

[Saint_Ann]

Your up

You're.

 

[saintcero]

You're.

Go get’em St Ann. I would call you the Grammar Gestapo but only in a kind and loving way

 

[Saint_Ann]

Go get’em St Ann. I would call you the Grammar Gestapo but only in a kind and loving way

Nothing rory wouldn't do.

 

[shizzz]

Nothing rory wouldn't do.

Rory Gilmore?

 

[screwher]

My wife cheated about four years into our relationship. It almost ruined us. But we had a very young child. And I wanted to keep us together for her. Fortunately my wife’s tryst started to arouse me. I started fantasizing about other men screwing her.

 

[easyoff]

Walked in on my wife and one of our really good male friends in a 69. We ended up in a very hot threesome.
We were swingers after that for years.

 

[gtnlynn]

My wife and I started dating in high school and went to different colleges so she was free to date others. I suspected she was having sex and found hickeys on her body so I knew she was getting naked with others. I didn't know for sure, but a few years after we married, I asked for the truth. She confessed that she had a lot of sex in college before we became engaged. At that point, I was not upset, but it turned me on to know she fucked those guys but dumped them if they got serious. Sex for her was a physical pleasure with her friends.

 

[Cobra6813]

I’ve been married a long time. my wife is the one who cheated on me. The story:

We started swinging about 15 yrs ago. My wife is a true 9 and gets a ton of attention. Swinging became a integral part of our lives for quite a time. I had some fantastic encounters with women that I thought were well above my looks. All in all we had a blast and became good friends with few fun couples which we have kept in contact with. after being in the lifestyle for a few years My wife started getting jealous of a few of the women I had warmed up to so we stopped cold which was difficult. She accused me of cheating with one of the wives. Although I wanted to I didn’t. She didn’t believe me and ended up putting a bit of an emotional wall up. We remained married cause we had kids but the closeness of lifestyle fun was gone. I couldn’t get her to realize it was in her head but that is a consequence of swinging

Anyway, overtime she still thinks I am screwing around without basis and decides to get a boyfriend. she hooks up with one of the husbands we played with and develops a relationship. due to her job and required travel I didn't suspect a thing - it goes on for years until she drops a bomb that she wants to have an open relationship - never mentions this guy but figures this is a way she can now cheat in the open. Blew me away. when we finally had a good heart to heart she confesses and also realizes I never cheated on her.

bottom line - swinging was a blast but you are definitely playing with fire. Be safe out there

 

[Nightspeed]

She cheated first with two different men. So, I figured if she could, I could. And I did, with six different women and one guy.

 

[easyoff]

The only ones my wife doesn't know about are the guys I've played with
We were swingers for years.

 

[Stan_the_skin]

My sex life when it happens if it happens is so vanilla, I wonder if she's more into ice cream than sex. Very little emotion and feeling, apparently its my duty to go down in her, I love doing that, no matter who with. I've had three lots of cheating, once with three different women, it's said I'm not big enough down there, to have proper regular cheat sessions, or be in relationship with any. Only wanted feelings and emotion and love, can't even get that right. Chatting is good but what's the correct opening gambit, hello how are you, or hey there how big are your tits, get em out and show me?

 

[Keiiii]

.

 

[shizzz]

My hubby he is into cuckold, he wants me to cheat on him. I don't know what to do about that.

Does he want to watch or just be told about it. Would you rather just have another man, or a threesome?

 

[Matt3427]

I wanted to start a thread where people could confess what drove them to cheat.

When your cheating became known did you stay, (why) and did it heal?

What did it take to repair/how long?

Also looking for people who were cheated on, and what drove them to leave or stay with the offender

I ask because I can see (if I take the role of my wife’s friend) why she cheated (needed to get that ‘feeling’ again) I can understand. As her spouse I’m furious. As a man I’m hurt.

Depending on the angle I take, my mental space changes and it’s been hard to

In my late 20s my gf (now wife) confessed she had slept with a few guys while I was overseas with work. In short it became a turn on and she told me all the details. Slept with a few more since and we always talk about it. Has kept our sex life alive.

 

[Matt3427]

In my late 20s my gf (now wife) confessed she had slept with a few guys while I was overseas with work. In short it became a turn on and she told me all the details. Slept with a few more since and we always talk about it. Has kept our sex life alive.

 

[Keiiii]

Does he want to watch or just be told about it. Would you rather just have another man, or a threesome?

.

 

[shizzz]

She won’t tell me much. And now doesn’t remember. Even back then after the incident.

When i asked if she was at least safe…”I think so. There was a condom on the floor in the morning”, and yes she had unprotected sex with me before she told me

 

[Tommelon]

I want my wife to cheat on me.

 

[screwher]

I want my wife to cheat on me.

My wife and I are a hotwife couple. But before we entered the lifestyle, she did cheat a handful of times. The first guy took her to a hotel. I would have loved to have been a fly on that hotel wall. Seeing her enter the room with him. He lays her on the bed. Slowly peels her clothes off. Then he fucks her!