The Challenge Club

[Wills]

Crimson Maiden

Well, it was meant to be a stream of almost unconcious thought, the rambling was intentional.

One of the (all to many) things that interests me is the rambling of the mind and how you can possibly convey the jumble of thoughts through writing. I know writers have tried, I'm hopeless at names so none mentioned here. In a way it is an impossible task, the thought process is way too fast to capture in written form. There is this widely held belief that males think about sex 99% of the time, most of it at an almost subconcious level. How would your write that? In a way, most stories told from a male perspective are false in the sense that they can never reveal the true male thinking process and only convey what is accepted by convention as reasonable, even within a site such as Literotica.

I'm not suggesting that males are depraved sexual beings ready to jump any female that crosses their path, though some are, but we (males) do go through a judging process when we see females that 'fit' our mental chart.

Wow, not sure why I wrote this, think I better post it now before I edit it out. be warned, the next time I am invited to post a challenge, this could be the theme.

As for fleshing out the story, I was up against a tight deadline, read the challenge at 8.00pm local and posted around 11.30pm. I could add more but it would kind of detract from his rambling devotion, in many ways it is irrelevant to the personal relationship, the reader can fill in the details. does this make me a lazy writer, asking the reader to do some of the work?

Best wishes

Will's

 

[Wills]

Dingus Guy

Thanks for the welcome back. Short lived I'm afraid, promised myself a weekend off before getting back into the building work, though things will be a little slow until we get the next phase of the contract agreed, so you never know.

Thanks for the gum link, I never realised.

Good work for seeing it through, I think that is what the challenge is all about, forcing yourself to write to a deadline even when you don't feel empathy with the subject matter.

Will's

 

[Guest]

My story from BT's challenge may not be up for awhile. It's grown into a story of major proportions and doesn't actually get to the setting that's required for the challenge (mountains/caves) until a good way through the story. It is a tale of a young woman who travels west on the Oregon Trail. The story will be her journal entries about the trip, and since it took about six months to travel the entire trail, I will probably end up with one heck of a story. I will post an excerpt sometime later today, but keep in mind that it will not include all the required elements of the challenge since they will appear throughout the rest of the story.

CM

 

[Black Tulip]

LOL

That seems to be the new trend. I don't mind as long as you give us a little bite in advance.

Mine is already into chapter three and I think I'm halfway. I think I'll end up with a real novella, about 15.000 or 16.000 words.

 

[SummerMorning]

Those words just don't stop running, do they? Good on you!

 

[Wills]

Anyone from Challenge Club about, need someone to look over my fetish story, not sure I can post it.

Will's

 

[Guest]

I'm around and will be happy to have a look see.

 

[Wills]

Thanks Crimson, I've PM'd you.

Will's

 

[Dingus Guy]

Stories

Sorry Wills I will read yours tomorrow. Also got me curious at your fetish story with your post.

CM- Scavenger Hunt story was a little anticlimatic. Not sure your heart was into it. It was well written and there is nothing bad about it, it just was a little like my Olympic story. You seemed like you were just trying to get the challenge over with. Which is part of the challenge to write for the sake of writing. No harm no foul. I hope I have some time to read your Queen tale soon, looks like you put a lot of your heart into it.

Reo- I am still not sure what fay means, but I did enjoy the erotic tale. Very well written (except 'met should've been 'meet' throughout your story). I enjoyed the masturbation scene nicely done.

BT- I enjoyed the teaser, bring the next chapter(s) please.

The next challenge should be interesting. Fetish is open for interpretation and it will be nice to see what you will all chose.

Until tomorrow, good night/day.

 

[Guest]

DG,

Yeah, it was a litte anti-climatic. However, it has been sent to my editor and has gotten revised, so I think it has a better ending now. I plan on doing a follow up story for the first time category with Dena and Evan.

CM

 

[Dingus Guy]

DG,

Yeah, it was a litte anti-climatic. However, it has been sent to my editor and has gotten revised, so I think it has a better ending now. I plan on doing a follow up story for the first time category with Dena and Evan.

CM

CM,

Sounds good. I need an editor myself, I just hate asking.

 

[Black Tulip]

You could always ask for one in the editor's forum. That's what I did. Stated what I expected more or less and I ended up with a terrific editor.

 

[Dingus Guy]

You could always ask for one in the editor's forum. That's what I did. Stated what I expected more or less and I ended up with a terrific editor.

Thank you.

 

[Wills]

Hi Gang,

Had to get this done early, busy the rest of the week. CM thanks for your help.

I had considered just typing Damp Panties a thousand times, but I know she gets touchy so I wrote something instead

Fixation

Marianne drove home thinking through the events of the day, wondering how she would get through tonight, let alone tomorrow without David. She had known him for less than three hours; she blushed, not for the first time today.

The morning began like most mornings in her life, quick shower, yoghurt, glass of fruit juice, mango this morning, and off to the stables. She led a luxurious life, her parents had passed away, she had inherited their estate, had no need to work, beautiful house, nothing ostentatious just room enough for her, on a private gated estate and her wonderful stallion Hermes.

Most mornings she rode Hermes, she rode him hard; flat out along the beach in the early morning before the families arrived for the day, and then a slow walk back to the stables for a good rub down before returning home for a shower and light lunch.

The only thing missing in her life was someone to share it with, she had dated but not with any degree of success. She had kind of missed out on the formative years, the teenage years, horses occupying so much of her time, they were her passion, then and now. Finding someone to share that passion, well, that was difficult, though in truth she had never really given any relationship a chance. As soon as any one came onto her she backed off, in fact she galloped off. The nearest she got to sex was when she had accompanied her father, a veterinarian, on his rounds.

Her father worked with horses primarily, his speciality lie in insemination and cross breeding. He seemed to have second sight in knowing the right time to inseminate and the right stallion for the mare to guarantee the perfect foal. Hermes was one of the foals her fathers had ‘created’, a gift for her eighteenth birthday when it had become clear to her parents that Marianne was passionately devoted to horses.

Father had inducted Marianne to the secret world of horse breeding, to look for the tell tale signs in a breeding mare and how to access the right kind of stallion for the job, matching traits and breeding history intent on creating the perfect foal. Now day’s stallions were not led to the mare, the process in most cases being entirely artificial, though there were still a few people around who preferred a stallion to run with a herd of females. Artificial insemination was the way of the future, more reliable and pregnancy virtually guaranteed. She blushed again thinking on the help she had given her father in collecting semen for insemination and immediately thought of her session with David; that caused her to flush profusely.

She shifted in her seat, blouse clinging to her back despite the air-conditioning, and reached one hand down beneath her skirt to adjust the tightness in her panties. She caught the slightest smell of herself as she brought her hand back to the steering wheel and smiled a secret smile, just like riding, she thought. She settled into the bucket seat of her Lotus and headed out of town.

Marianne mused on the afternoon and the unexpected turn it had taken. She knew herself pretty well; at least she had thought that she knew herself; that is until this afternoon. She had decided that she lacked confidence and that was stopping her from finding a partner to share her life. She had few friends; in truth, she had no friends or immediate family. She missed University due to her parent’s tragic accident. As she had told David, a drunk ran the lights and hit her parent’s car, Mother died a couple of days later, Father lingered for two years. She had told herself she would go to University after a year of adjusting to her loss but had somehow buried herself in the stables and Hermes to cover her pain. The girls who worked in the stables were supportive and friendly, but she was their boss and she was old-fashioned enough to know that employers do not become intimate with employees.

Intimate, that is a funny choice of words, she thought. They are all girls, is it a girl I need? I had better discuss that with David next week. A week, how can I wait a week!

She had seen David’s advertisement in a local free sheet. “EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS? I can help you reach inside yourself. Just one session could change your life.” She had called and fixed an appointment, and yes, she truly felt different within herself, and that was just from one session. She went through in her mind the events of the afternoon with David, teasing herself by playing the scene from the beginning, pushing the eroticism of the moment to the back of her mind where it could slowly build and burst on her. That had always been her favourite way of reaching an orgasm. Even when riding she ignored the building tension, riding Hermes harder and harder until the sensations overwhelmed her, gradually easing the horse down to a walk whilst working herself against the hard leather.

When she had arrived at David’s office, she was shown into a waiting room. After a few minutes, a woman in her early forties emerged from the office accompanied by quite an attractive man, David. The woman looked a little flustered and sat down. David smiled charmingly at Marianne and informed her that he would be right with her; he just had to make an urgent telephone call. When he returned to his office, the woman whispered to Marianne, he is worth every penny, enjoy yourself.

At the time Marianne had been puzzled by her comments, now she just felt a warm glow that began somewhere around her nipples and fluttered down to the dampness between her legs.

“Marianne, thank you for waiting. Please come in.”

Marianne looked around the tastefully decorated, subdued lighting, a rosewood desk with an elegant cantilevered table lamp just illuminating the work area. David pointed her to a deep leather armchair in preference to the corner sofa arrangement with obligatory planting.

“Marianne, let me just deal with some technical matters. Firstly, I am not a doctor, I have no medical qualification of any kind; if you are seeking assistance of a medical nature then I am unable to help you. However, anything that takes place between these walls will be treated with exactly the same confidentiality that you would expect from a doctor. I have been able to assist many women and men in their effort to discover their inner-self and to enable them to lead a full and rewarding life. I specialise in dealing with sexual problems, specifically fetish and fantasy problems. How may I help you?”

Marianne’s first impulse had been to walk out; she shifted uneasily in her seat.

“I saw your advertisement. I assumed you were some kind of consultant that could help me build my confidence. I think I had better go. I will pay you for the session.” She stood up to leave.

“Marianne, before you leave, and please understand, I have no intention of trying to persuade you to stay, let me just say this. You are not an unattractive woman, you are in your late twenties, probably unmarried, definitely no children or you would not be making appointments at school collection time, you lack confidence otherwise you would not be here. Are you a virgin?”

Marianne felt as if even her feet were blushing and slowly sat down again facing David.

“That is pretty accurate.” She said.

“Good, then at least we know where we are starting from.” He smiled at her and fixed here with his eyes. She saw confidence, compassion, and strength; and felt she had nothing to lose by staying for what she was certain would be a once only session.

For the first hour, she told him about her life, her parents, Hermes, and her need to find someone to share her life but not knowing where or how to start.

“Tell me something please Marianne, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. Have you ever seen a penis?”

Marianne sat quietly for a moment.

“Yes.”

“Describe a penis for me please.”

“Blackish brown, about eighteen inches long, with a skin that pulls back as it grows.”

“Marianne, that’s a horses penis.”

“It’s the only type I’ve seen.”

“Oh dear, I’m going to have to change my question format, I meant have you ever seen a man’s penis.”

“I know what you meant, I didn’t want to look completely stupid.”

David tried to stifle a laugh and failed, both laughed uncontrollably for a couple of minutes; that was enough to break any barriers between them. Marianne relaxed and felt that everything was going to work out just fine, David oozed confidence, already she could feel his confidence giving her strength.

Over the next hour Marianne described helping her Father with his artificial insemination programme, it became clear, certainly to David, that Marianne had a detailed recollection of every insemination and had a fixation about the entire process, every aspect from the collection of the semen to the insemination itself.

“So Marianne, you have never actually seen or touched a man’s penis, only horses.”

“If never touched any penis, I always wore rubber gloves.”

“But you ‘milked’ the horses, collected their semen. Would you like to describe that to me? How did that make you feel.”

“No. It was a job, just work to be done.”

“So doing this job, this work, it didn’t affect you in any way? It was just a routine every day job.”

“Well of course it wasn’t a routine job. There were busy periods and quiet periods. Depended upon the season, most insemination is planned so the foal is born in the spring, so there were long stretches when no collecting took place.”

“Did you look forward to the job, a sense of anticipation perhaps?”

Marianne was becoming decidedly uncomfortable, squirming in her chair trying to ignore the prickly heat building between her thighs.

“Look this isn’t going anywhere. I had hoped you could give me some tips, hints about building my confidence so that I can move my life forward. I had not expected to be talking about horses semen.”

“Ok, let’s return to my earlier question which you did not answer, you have never actually seen or touched a man’s penis.”

“No.”

“Would you like to?”

“What?”

“Would you like to? See or touch a man’s penis.”

Marianne instinctively crossed her legs and wrinkled her mouth wondering what she had gotten herself into.

“Just what are you proposing?” she asked.

“It seems to me that you are hung up on the size of the penis, I can assure you that a man’s penis is about one third of the size of a horses. Actually seeing one would be the first step to removing the barriers you have constructed in your mind. That is what is stopping you from advancing with relationships, you think all penis are eighteen inches long and as thick as your arm.”

“Do you have photographs?” she said, hoping the answer would be no.

David leaned back in his chair, brought his hands under his chin, and slowly shook his head.

“Come and sit on the couch.” He stood and walked out from behind the desk directing Marianne to the corner couch. “The next move is yours, you can undo my trousers or not, it is entirely up to you. We can do this next time if you would prefer.”

Marianne ran her tongue nervously over her lips aware of just how long she had been waiting for this moment and just how wet her panties were getting just thinking about undoing that belt buckle. What to do, her mind whirled, choices, leave, say no, or reach for that belt. Curiosity and desire ruled her head as she brought her elegant fingers to the buckle.

Marianne dabbed at the spots on her blouse when the semen had hit and washed her mouth out, David was thoughtful enough to have mouthwash in the bathroom, occupational requirement she imagined. She badly wanted to bring herself off, finish what had started in the office but resisted the temptation and just wiped across her lips with a tissue, bringing it under her nose to smell herself before flushing it away. She loved her musky perfume, preferred it even more after she had been riding when the scent of the horse somehow seemed to penetrate into her juice. She looked at herself in the mirror, making sure she was presentable, though unsure how to go back into the room after what she had done. Had she gone to far? David hadn’t tried to stop her, just let her indulge herself, gorging on the taste, smell, and feel. She felt a whore, a satisfied whore, already hungry for more, so different from her own juices, she wondered if all men tasted the same, or women come to that and decided right then that she would waste no more time in finding out. She opened the door.

David smiled up at her, “How do you feel?” he asked.

“Embarrassed.”

“There is no need, just think of it as a first step along a path to freeing yourself of the concerns that are blocking your ability to act. You have taken a big first step. Now, how do you feel? Honestly.”

“Different, I need to think about it for a while. I’m sure I will think about it for a while.” She giggled.

David smiled at her. “Marianne, I would like you to come back at the same time next week. Do you think you could do that?”

“Yes.” There was nothing else on her mind right now other than getting her hands and lips on that again.

“Next week, I would like you to bring the most sluttish clothing you can imagine. We are going to dress you in those clothes in order to free your mind a little more. Have you any idea right now just what you might bring?”





She snapped back to the moment barely remembering the last few miles of the drive. Oh, my God I have to go shopping! Not now Marianne, get a grip, she told herself. You don’t need the fishnet stockings or rubber skirt until next week. My goodness, what has he planned for next week? Well you know Marianne, her head whispered, you told him. He asked you to describe what you thought would be the most sluttish clothes you could wear and you blurted out fishnet stockings, suspender belt, and short rubber skirt.

Marianne remembered finding those magazines of her Fathers hidden away in the office, there was a girl in those magazines that looked awfully like Marianne looked now, dressed in fishnet stockings, suspender belt and a short black rubber skirt; in the pose that stuck so firmly in Marianne’s mind she was bending over, without panties. Marianne had kept that picture for a long time, wondering what she would look like dressed like that, bent over like that, exposing herself like that, someone watching her exposing herself like that. Now she knew it would be David watching her exposing herself like that. Her hand had found its way back under her skirt; she didn’t remember moving it there and sighed contentedly as she eased the fabric to one side and pushed thinking about the nightly ritual she had practiced for years in front of the wall length mirror, acting out the girl from the magazine.

She had perfected a routine of moving, gradually dragging the skirt higher up her hips until the swell of her bottom just became visible, that was the moment that always started her, seeing that very edge of her bottom peeking beneath the skirt. Then the bending over hips gyrating as she moved her bottom, opening herself just like the girl in the picture. Invariably her display brought her hand between her thighs and always she ended crouched on the bed, head turned to the mirror watching her own hand as it worked and spread her juices until she glisten, her breath became laboured as she gasped with the pleasure she brought herself. She reached for the tissues and dabbed between her legs. I shouldn’t be driving and doing this she told herself. She had reached the promenade and pulled into an empty bay overlooking the sea, her house and the stables were at the far end of the bay. It was quiet, early evening, most people home at this time. Checking that no one was nearby she undid her seatbelt, raised her hips, and slid out of her wet panties.

Marianne decided to walk down to the bar and treat herself to a sundae, maybe flirt a little with the cute boy who worked the early evening shift, he had whistled at her a couple of times as she strolled along the beach. As she walked along the promenade, all she could think of was David seeing her naked, undressing her and dressing her again as a slut. Yes, she could be a slut for David, and a damn good one. Her thoughts were turning her on again.

“Hello,” she said to the cute guy, “it’s quiet in here.”

“Hello Marianne, it’s always quiet at this time, really boring, there will be no customers until after seven, guaranteed.”

Everyone knew Marianne; her stables were famous for miles around.

“Oh, poor you. Never mind, I will keep you company. Can you make me a sundae? Lots of fruit and not too much ice cream.”

“Sure.”

She watched him as he turned away from her admiring his bottom as he bent down to retrieve ingredients from the chiller cabinet.

“So where are all the girl’s, I would have thought a guy as good looking as you would have had lots of girls in here to keep him company.”

“All the decent ones are at the stables working for you.”

“I’m sorry, I will do my best to make up for it. Don’t you like to ride? I’ve never seen you at the stables.”

“Never tried.”

“You should come up there, let me teach you how to ride.” She suggested, aware of the suggestion in her words and watching the colour deepen around his neck.

She hoisted herself onto a bar stool and parting her legs just enough and caught a smell of herself.

“What do you say, would you like a ride?”

He turned and placed the sundae on the counter in front of her, piled high with fruit, barely glancing at her face.

“Thanks for the offer, let me think about it.”

Well don’t take too long, free riding lessons are strictly limited.”

Marianne noticed his eyes had transferred themselves to her legs and felt a shiver of anticipation run down her spine knowing what she was about to do.

“Nice aren’t they.” She said. “It’s all the riding, keeps me fit, keeps me in trim, firm bottom, tight stomach.” She drew the fabric up her thighs watching his face colour.

“Marianne, I really ought to go and prepare some things in the back room.”

“No don’t go, wouldn’t you prefer to stay here and look at my legs? I know, I’ll dance for you.”

She dragged herself off the stool hearing his sharp intake of breath as her skirt rose up her thighs exposing her nakedness and she turned with her back to him and began the dance that she knew would keep him fixed to the spot. She felt drunk with power over him and for the first time allowed someone to watch her performance. The very idea of this guy watching her turned her on no end and in no time at all she brought her dance to a climax, and not the only one; whilst she couldn’t see what he was doing behind the counter, she had a pretty good idea from the colour of his face and the motion of his arm.

When she had finished with herself, she turned to face him, “That is an appetiser. Riding lessons begin at 7.00am, come to my house, you won’t be disappointed, you will enjoy riding with me, I’ve got lots to teach you.”

She took her sundae from the counter and walked out of the bar, completely forgetting to pay.

Will's

Big edit following DG's comments

 

[Black Tulip]

Will's,

Is that a picture of today in your AV? Mardi Gras in Portugal?

I read your story. Nice wicked touch with the psychoboy. Flirting with animals too.

My only complaint is, you jump too much for me to follow your timetable. Could be me, but you confuse me a couple of times.

 

[Wills]

Hi BT

Yep, that was this afternoon from the balcony. It was great fun and the sun decided to shine.

Sorry about confusing you, it reads so nicely when you write it

It does jump a bit in only in the sense that the middle section - with psychoboy - describes what took place during the afternoon, the rest of the time she is driving home and thinking through her day and life. I was a bit worried with the animals, wasn't too sure how far I could go, I think rubber gloves is just about the limit

Look forward to reading yours.

Will's

 

[Dingus Guy]

Wills times 2

Okay Wills, I am all caught up today and read both your stories. The 1st one was very interesting. No sex, just the breakdown of a man's isolation after losing his loved ones. Simple, yet I was drawn into it. Good job.

Fixation on the otherhand was disappointing, yet better. If you just filled in the blanks, it could've been a really good erotic story. Like BT said you jumped around and that was the disappointing factor in the conclusion of it. If you took us though Marianne's first experience step by erotic step it would've been really hot. I was starting to get aroused, then she's gargling in the bathroom. Slutty outfits you say? Well take us on that journey too. Transformation, guide us with her. Make it a passage of innocence story. You want to slut her up in the end and free her from her sexual torment, then I want to read it all. I see Marianne unzipping David's pants and shyly playing with it. Looking at him for approval as she examines a man's penis for the first time. How does David manipulate her into sucking him off? Perhaps, it would make a nice hypnosis story. Just my thoughts.

I haven't even begun mine.

 

[reohoko]

I need to catch up on the posts, but my head is killing me. I will be back tomorrow morning.

If there is a challenge someplace can someone just post to me saying that I need to look extra careful for it?


HUGS HUGS HUGS Sorry, been really busy. Be back more starting tomorrow.

 

[Black Tulip]

I need to catch up on the posts, but my head is killing me. I will be back tomorrow morning.

If there is a challenge someplace can someone just post to me saying that I need to look extra careful for it?


HUGS HUGS HUGS Sorry, been really busy. Be back more starting tomorrow.

At your service:

Ok, here's the next challenge:
1,000 words
due next Saturday (28th)
category: Fetish
must include the words: fishnet, rubber (not the slang for a condom), sundae, and bucket

CM

 

[Wills]

Dingus

Thank you for your feedback. That for me is one of the values of CC, we have several different characters in CC and you get pretty comprehensive feed back across a range of tastes.

The 'mountain/cave' story, it is as you say - I am pretty happy with it.

Fixation.
Well, your commennts are very useful to me in developing a style of erotic writing.

First, I wrote a couple of chapters down an hypnotic line before discarding them. Reason, I thought she should be fully aware of her actions.

Second, your mind filled in the blanks. The story gives just enough information for you to realise what happened, you then filled the gaps with your imagination without me having to write more cock/mouth/pussy description.

I think I could easily have doubled the length of this piece, developing her character and fetishes, making the reader more involved with her behaviour and still avoid the c/m/p descriptions. Time was the limiting factor.

The confusion element, there are only two scenes, she is driving or at the 'clinic'. What acts to confuse is me 'listening in' to her thought process, it is continually dragging you in different directions. That is how most of us think, a jumble of thoughts piling one on another, sometimes directly linked, sometimes tenuously linked. If we 'listened' in real time to our thoughts we would be hopelessly confused. It is an aspect of writing I am experimenting with.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Will's

 

[Dingus Guy]

Dingus

Thank you for your feedback. That for me is one of the values of CC, we have several different characters in CC and you get pretty comprehensive feed back across a range of tastes.

The 'mountain/cave' story, it is as you say - I am pretty happy with it.

Fixation.
Well, your commennts are very useful to me in developing a style of erotic writing.

First, I wrote a couple of chapters down an hypnotic line before discarding them. Reason, I thought she should be fully aware of her actions.

Second, your mind filled in the blanks. The story gives just enough information for you to realise what happened, you then filled the gaps with your imagination without me having to write more cock/mouth/pussy description.

I think I could easily have doubled the length of this piece, developing her character and fetishes, making the reader more involved with her behaviour and still avoid the c/m/p descriptions. Time was the limiting factor.

The confusion element, there are only two scenes, she is driving or at the 'clinic'. What acts to confuse is me 'listening in' to her thought process, it is continually dragging you in different directions. That is how most of us think, a jumble of thoughts piling one on another, sometimes directly linked, sometimes tenuously linked. If we 'listened' in real time to our thoughts we would be hopelessly confused. It is an aspect of writing I am experimenting with.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Will's

I got the whole reason you did what you did even after I was done reading it. I just felt that by skipping and leaving us to fill in the blank you lose the true essence of erotica, and that is the descriptiveness. That is the part you wish to skip then it fails to entice me as a reader. For example, if I tell you that I got a free cruise to Australia for a week and it was great. I got a nice tan, met Sandy the model and got married. Yes there is substance to my story, but it lacks. Someone might want to know how we met, how I got the free trip and how the hell I could get married in a week.

Fill in the blanks only drives the reader up the wall when it comes to chunks of salivating information. You do the fill in the blanks on a lesser scale. Let's say, I am a postal worker and I went postal today and killed my boss, a customer and 2 co-workers. I flee the scene, but was apprehended on my way to my girlfriend's apartment. While sitting on death row I confess that I was quite sane in killing those people. I selected who I wanted to kill and I just did it. The night before I am to be executed I shave my pubic hair and on the cell wall I use the hair to spell the word "Rosebud". Story over. Now in one vain I want the world to know I was quite sane and the next moment I do something crazy. You the reader fill the blanks to my sanity.

Just my humble opinion. If I read erotica, I rather not fill in the blanks when it comes to the sex scenes. Your first tale was okay for it. You left the reader to examine their thoughts on suicide. That was well done. We can debate the merits of filling in the blanks all day and night, but I will leave you with this...as a writer you write for yourself first and foremost, but if you want to write for others keep them in mind when you write.

 

[reohoko]

At your service:

THANK YOU!!!! HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS I am going to read posts today and school work and work on that project . Plus I actually have a real assignment that I have to get done LOL.

HUGS HUGS HUGS

 

[reohoko]

K I am caught up on the posts.

Dingus: Fay is the correct term for fairies. It is the proper plural for fairy and it's also the term used to include the whole group of different types of fairy (as there are MANY types of Fay).

Also, I am sorry I seem to always confuse met and meet.

Will's I agree with BT, I found the hardest transition in the story to be where you tell about her thinking about the next story but start telling about the last one. I think a room fading line (it's when you make the foreground go away to be replaced by the background thoughts) is in need. Just my opinion. I won't argue the mind making up the details stuff. I have found too much either way hurts a story.


HUGS HUGS HUGS I will get to work on my next story.

 

[Remec]

Alrighty then...let's try this out

The new challenge:

At least 2.000 words.

The place of action is mountains and caves.
Make it at least a hundred years ago without mentioning dates.
Words to use are:
foam
snowflakes
dragonfly
bitter (as in taste)
blue lace

Good luck, posting at the latest on Friday, 20th February.

Okay, I was unsure if I could or should post this when I'd gone and submitted it, but it got approved early today or late last night, and I thought I'd leave y'all a link to check it out and let me know what you think.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=130711

 

[Guest]

Hey Remec,

I will go read it shortly. It's up to you whether you post it here before submitting it.

Usually, I post my story here, and then I send it of to my VE. After I make the revisions that she suggests, I will then submit it. Posting them here before submitting them helps, because it gives me some other view points on my story besides my own and those of my editor.

CM