The Bitch Thread

[brioche]

i feel worse for my parents than i do for him = \ and now i feel guilty ><

I feel bad for anyone who has to confront their mortality and has the chance tio have children taken away from them at 22.

 

[DVS]

if he heard you call him my "boyfriend" he'd probably... i don't know... deny it or something

So....you're his um...fuck toy?

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

my mom called to tell me that my little brother (22) has testicular cancer. he's having his balls removed... he and i have never been on great terms so i have a few ironic jokes built up about the situation, but i think i have to wait a couple years before i can use them. dunno how i feel about this yet... thought i'd rant about it a lil bit though.

22 years old , cancer and having to have his testicles removed. I am really sorry to hear this Chicklet. Its cruel beyond reason. Maybe this is a good time to step up. Surviving the cancer will be one thing. The ramifications of being self conscious with future partners/lovers etc another . If I am really off base here you have my apologies in advance, I just can't see a better time however to put aside previous 'bad terms' . I guess the other thing, do you know if it will have ramifications on his ability to father children himself in the future either from the chemo or the surgery . Guess your in a kind of shock semi denial stage yourself. My experiences with cancer in my family is everyone suffers its not exclusive to the patient. Good Luck Chicklet most sincerely @}-}rebecca----

 

[graceanne]

Wow, chicklet. I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Are they sure it's only there, and hasn't spread?

 

[brioche]

Someone must be punishing me.
I have had a headaches for the past week or more.
Today I decided to take a migraine tablet, and I opened the blister and nothing came out.
"Oh," I thought, "I must have dropped the pill."
This has happened before, they're tiny. So I searched. No luck.
So then I opened another blister, and another. THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE FUCKING PACKAGE.
So I am in serious pain now and I call the pharmacy and tell them what's going on. (By the way, there are only 6 tablets in a pack, so if three are missing it's kind of a big deal.)
The pharmacist told me to drive over and they'd sort it out.
So then I had to drive over there to get a new package. With a migraine.
Thankfully it's close.
grrrrrrrrrrrr
Well, the doctor is seeing me tomorrow.

 

[FurryFury]

i am ready to explode, i am full of rage, i want to scream and post and give it all away. My hands are tied, my mouth is gagged--- i am suspended here, bound, unable to move. every move i make to release this grasp strengthens the grip and i suffer for naught.

it is a rather beautiful thought ~ surrender.

You post is poetic yet confuses me. Are you bitching or not? Is it that you are so uncomfortable bitching that you had to turn it into a beautiful redemptive poetic blurt?
In any case, *hugs* to you.

Fury

Not so much a bitch as frustration......Master has peritonitis, again. Just seems to be one thing after another. Luckily we started treatment as soon as we realised that His upset tummy wasn't food poisoning

I asked the nurses at the renal clinic for some antibotics, needles, syringes and everything else to have on hand just for times like this, when He gets ill on a weekend when there's nobody available to treat Him unless we go to the ER. That means hours of waiting around and admitting to hospital when we can perfectly well do everything at home. He is much more comfortable in His own bed, can do what He likes, and is much less stressed, which means He gets better faster.

It's just that I get so tired..........

I'm so sorry Bandit58.

*hugs and hands you an energy drink*

I hope things are looking better today for you and your Master.

Fury

I'm getting tired of kissing frogs.

Where have all the princes gone?

Yucky! You've been kissing frogs?

There never were any princes, that is all just a fairy tale.

There are some fine men who will treat you well however and they are hard to find because they may not seem at first glance to measure up to the propaganda of the media and our society.

Still, it's not impossible to find a good one. It's just confusing and difficult but not impossible.

Fury

So one day a princess was sitting, having a picnic, on the banks of a lake, when a Frog hopped upl.

"Hello!" said the Frog. "I once was a prince, but was turned to a frog by and evil witch. But one kiss from your beautiful lips and I will revert to my manly form. Then you and I will marry and you will come live with me and my mother in our castle, where you will cook for us, clean for us, bear my children, and feel eternally grateful to do so."

That night, over a dinner of sauteed frog legs, the princess snorted to herself and said, "I don't fucking think so."

LMAO!

Cuuuute beautiful Graceanne!

Fury

my mom called to tell me that my little brother (22) has testicular cancer. he's having his balls removed... he and i have never been on great terms so i have a few ironic jokes built up about the situation, but i think i have to wait a couple years before i can use them. dunno how i feel about this yet... thought i'd rant about it a lil bit though.

I'm so sorry to hear this Chicklet.

Just because you don't like your brother much doesn't mean you don't love him.

*hugs*

I used to volunteer at the Cancer Information Center after my Dad died of cancer. That's what I do, I volunteer when some tragedy happens. I'm just driven to.

My understanding is that depending on the stage the cancer is in, testicular cancer has a very good chance of going into remission.

I also think they can do something to save his seed. They can keep it frozen until needed.

If you are the sort to find comfort in information you could look up your local Cancer Information Center and get the facts sent to you.

I hope things turn out better than you expect.

Fury

Someone must be punishing me.
I have had a headaches for the past week or more.
Today I decided to take a migraine tablet, and I opened the blister and nothing came out.
"Oh," I thought, "I must have dropped the pill."
This has happened before, they're tiny. So I searched. No luck.
So then I opened another blister, and another. THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE FUCKING PACKAGE.
So I am in serious pain now and I call the pharmacy and tell them what's going on. (By the way, there are only 6 tablets in a pack, so if three are missing it's kind of a big deal.)
The pharmacist told me to drive over and they'd sort it out.
So then I had to drive over there to get a new package. With a migraine.
Thankfully it's close.
grrrrrrrrrrrr
Well, the doctor is seeing me tomorrow.

That really bites. I'm so sorry!

*sits you down and gives you a nice scalp and temple massage.

Fury

Okay compared to all of this my bitches today are minor.

One I have too much work to do this week and it's about to splode me lil head.

Two sinuses are seriously messed up making me feel bad and threatening my voice which I need for work.

Three my best-est kitty is scratching herself bloody again.

That's all for now.

Fury

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I know how you feel, for some reason I'm just attracted to guys that are complete jerks. I can't really offer any advice since I'm in a similiar situation, but just remember that there is nothing wrong with you, it's him that has the problem. I mean, he's the one choosing not to be around YOU, so he's the one missing out.
Aithne

If someone is actually attracted to complete jerks, and keeps repeating their relationship cycle over and over again with the same kind of partner, they do have a problem. Their "partner selection filter" is broken. Whatever criteria that is being used to select the partner in the first place has gotten skewed waaaaayyyy out of alignment. The bad boy is exciting, he is hot, he makes your motor run. Then, he continues to be the bad boy, walks all over you, uses you, and when he tires of you or you get tired of being treated that way, the realtionship ends... And you find this new, hot, exciting bad boy...

If you don't want that kind of relationship, don't be with that kind of partner. N'est pa?

I can't tell you how to change the selection process, but it needs to be done. As a wise man once told me:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different outcome each time.

It's like the old chestnut about women getting with total sphincters while the nice guys seem to be left out. And the gals complain about what a sphincter their guy is and bemoan "where are all the NICE guys?". We are out here. Stop hanging out with the sphincters and come on over. We won't bite.

Unless you ask nice! *evil grin*

 

[FurryFury]

If someone is actually attracted to complete jerks, and keeps repeating their relationship cycle over and over again with the same kind of partner, they do have a problem. Their "partner selection filter" is broken. Whatever criteria that is being used to select the partner in the first place has gotten skewed waaaaayyyy out of alignment. The bad boy is exciting, he is hot, he makes your motor run. Then, he continues to be the bad boy, walks all over you, uses you, and when he tires of you or you get tired of being treated that way, the realtionship ends... And you find this new, hot, exciting bad boy...

If you don't want that kind of relationship, don't be with that kind of partner. N'est pa?

I can't tell you how to change the selection process, but it needs to be done. As a wise man once told me:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different outcome each time.

It's like the old chestnut about women getting with total sphincters while the nice guys seem to be left out. And the gals complain about what a sphincter their guy is and bemoan "where are all the NICE guys?". We are out here. Stop hanging out with the sphincters and come on over. We won't bite.

Unless you ask nice! *evil grin*

I can see what you are saying here.

Being preggers made enough of a change in my POV that I made MUCH better choices this time around. One thing I did know for certain was that I absolutely did not want the same sort of guy ever again. I'm not sure I would have broken the cycle though were it not for the child I felt was a scared trust inside me to take care of.

Fury

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I can see what you are saying here.

Being preggers made enough of a change in my POV that I made MUCH better choices this time around. One thing I did know for certain was that I absolutely did not want the same sort of guy ever again. I'm not sure I would have broken the cycle though were it not for the child I felt was a scared trust inside me to take care of.

Fury

*nodnodnodnod* My girl janey explained it to me this way:

"I stopped falling in love with the boys, I stopped falling for the Magic Penis. I fell in love with a Man."

She had reached the point in her life where she HAD to make the change, or she was going to end up killing someone. Either herself or the latest of her b/f's. Personally, I'm glad she made that change or I would never have had her.

*grins* Glad you found that strength to change too Fury! {{{{{HUG}}}}}

 

[FurryFury]

*nodnodnodnod* My girl janey explained it to me this way:

"I stopped falling in love with the boys, I stopped falling for the Magic Penis. I fell in love with a Man."

She had reached the point in her life where she HAD to make the change, or she was going to end up killing someone. Either herself or the latest of her b/f's. Personally, I'm glad she made that change or I would never have had her.

*grins* Glad you found that strength to change too Fury! {{{{{HUG}}}}}

*grins and HUGS back*

Me too!

It's actually one of those miraculous things I thank my lucky stars for everyday.

My husband is the sort of fellow who wouldn't necessarily turns heads on the street or in a bar.

However, most of my gf's are thrilled about him him because, through me, they know what his essence is. He is intelligent, funny, loving, generous of spirit and supportive. Most of them would be glad to have such a man or at least that's what they think. In real life they would likely make the same sort of choices they already have about men. Few can break the cycle. Only one of my friends does have a man approaching my husband's fine qualities. The rest are pretty much married to shits.

I treasure him and he knows it. Not that I'm perfect, as noted in the jealousy thread and others I am not but then who is?

Fury

 

[Chicklet]

Wow, chicklet. I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Are they sure it's only there, and hasn't spread?

okay so I did some reading about the cancer online and called my parents back to get the exact information that'd match up with the stuff I learned.

my brother has a tumor in *one* testicle, not both. the chances of him getting cancer again in the second one is only 5%, so VERY unlikely. testicular cancer is apparently rather common in guys between 15 and 30, and has a 90% recovery rate. IF it was caught fast enough.

The concern comes from the fact that he'd been going to the doctor for months about pain, and a couple of years for pain in his stomach. He'd been taking meds for an ulcer, or something like that, but they don't know if it's connected yet. He's a drug addict, and very addicted to the pain pills since a car accident when he was 18. It's sort of one of those "cry wolf" situations, because no one took his complaints seriously since he was really after the medication one way or another, and no one even checked him out...

They're removing the testicle friday, his chances of having children greatly decreases, but doesn't go away. (I read that they suggest banking sperm if you want kids and have to have this opperation, but i sorta hope he won't breed) they'll be able to tell from the tumor, apparently, whether or not there was a chance the cancer spread... or that's what my mom said. I dont really know. yesterday she told me that they were doing other tests to see, so I think she doesn't really know or understand what the doctors are telling her, so i'll just have to wait it out for information.

So....you're his um...fuck toy?

yeah, I guess that's my most accurate title... whenever I bring up any sort of commitment he shrugs it off and says something along the lines of "all i'm looking for is a sex toy right now" and damnit, it's VERY sexually satisfying, but I want more ><

 

[Chicklet]

I know how you feel, for some reason I'm just attracted to guys that are complete jerks. I can't really offer any advice since I'm in a similiar situation, but just remember that there is nothing wrong with you, it's him that has the problem. I mean, he's the one choosing not to be around YOU, so he's the one missing out.
Aithne

thanks for the advice

I'm not attracted to complete jerks, I just seem to have found one this time around. My last boyfriend was absolutely fantastic, and I was with him for years, and still love him to death, but for some reason i'm pining after an asshole now...

the problem is that he's so nice to everybody else, and i see him being so nice, and then i'm like "awww he's so nice!" then he's like "i'll treat you like shit now, but i'll be nice to you sometimes, and you'll forget that i'm an asshole and let me keep fucking you"

In my own defense, I *am* looking around for other options. I've been out on a couple dates, have some personals out there, have my eyes open... I just have this elitist point of view that gives me extremely high standards... although i think i might have to lower them to find at least 1/4 of what i'm looking for in a real life guy

 

[Aithne123]

If someone is actually attracted to complete jerks, and keeps repeating their relationship cycle over and over again with the same kind of partner, they do have a problem. Their "partner selection filter" is broken. Whatever criteria that is being used to select the partner in the first place has gotten skewed waaaaayyyy out of alignment. The bad boy is exciting, he is hot, he makes your motor run. Then, he continues to be the bad boy, walks all over you, uses you, and when he tires of you or you get tired of being treated that way, the realtionship ends... And you find this new, hot, exciting bad boy...

If you don't want that kind of relationship, don't be with that kind of partner. N'est pa?

I can't tell you how to change the selection process, but it needs to be done. As a wise man once told me:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different outcome each time.

It's like the old chestnut about women getting with total sphincters while the nice guys seem to be left out. And the gals complain about what a sphincter their guy is and bemoan "where are all the NICE guys?". We are out here. Stop hanging out with the sphincters and come on over. We won't bite.

Unless you ask nice! *evil grin*

I know that I need to change my "selection process". And, I did say that I was attracted to them, not necessarily that I've been in relationships with all of them. It is hard to get out of the cycle though. Once I'm associated with them it's hard to leave. I need to find a nice guy that doesn't bore me, and one that will bite when I ask I may have found one now, I just need to reel him in
Thanks for the advice and thoughts
Aithne

 

[shy slave]

This isn't exactly a rant more a whinge, moan and downright feeling sorry for myself.

Have not been here much in the past few days.

Andante came over to see me and it was wonderful.
Not constant playing but a wonderful mix of vanilla and fun.

We didn't go too far from home, but we did visit my parents, had BDSM friends round for food and talk (no play) and went to a munch.

But today he went home.

I know I will see him in a little over four weeks but I want him back, right now. Or I want to be there with him.

I don't care who is where, I just want his company.

I always miss him, but somehow this time is very hard.

I have said in other threads I want to enjoy all aspects of an LDR, including being apart from him (hence the sig line about parting, although it also relates to those who are no longer here). But I feel so damn low.

He isn't perfect but he is someone I want to be with.

I know once we are living together there will be difficulties, nothing is perfect. But I want to find out what those will be and resolve them.

I also want to sit under his desk and suck his cock whilst he works.

Its going to be a while before I move to be with him, possibly years. I feel like a seven year old who can't have the toy they want until later. I want to stamp my feet, sulk, scream, cry, drum my heels into the floor and shout NOW, NOW, NOW.

Its so bad I have eaten a pack of chocolate and still feel low.

Its not depression but frustration and being alone.

Whining over, off to feel sorry for myself in a corner.

 

[Kierae]

Awww hugs shy slave.

I am glad your visit went well with Adante but I do know how much it sucks when the person leaves (suddenly you have this big empty space/hole in your life - figuratively and literally

You are allowed to whine for a day or two and then you can begin the countdown to the next reunion.

~kierae

 

[shy slave]

Awww hugs shy slave.

I am glad your visit went well with Adante but I do know how much it sucks when the person leaves (suddenly you have this big empty space/hole in your life - figuratively and literally

You are allowed to whine for a day or two and then you can begin the countdown to the next reunion.

~kierae

It went fantastically well, but over much too soon.

As for the countdown its already started its 33 days which is 768 hours which is 46,080 minutes LOL

 

[Bandit58]

I'm so sorry Bandit58.

*hugs and hands you an energy drink*

I hope things are looking better today for you and your Master.

Fury

Thank you Fury, He is getting better slowly but we have to continue the treatment for 3 weeks to make sure all the nasty little bugs are killed.

The real problem is, each bout of peritonitis damages the peritoneum making it less effective for dialysis. He saw the specialist yesterday who said it is time to think about going back on haemodialysis soon before there is much more damage. He has 3 failed fistulas from when He was on it before. There are only so many chances left.

 

[graceanne]

This isn't exactly a rant more a whinge, moan and downright feeling sorry for myself.

*hugs* I'm sorry.

If it makes you feel any better . . . just imagine how much exercise you're gonna have to do when you can move in together.

And he might cut back on your chocolate, too. double

 

[graceanne]

Thank you Fury, He is getting better slowly but we have to continue the treatment for 3 weeks to make sure all the nasty little bugs are killed.

The real problem is, each bout of peritonitis damages the peritoneum making it less effective for dialysis. He saw the specialist yesterday who said it is time to think about going back on haemodialysis soon before there is much more damage. He has 3 failed fistulas from when He was on it before. There are only so many chances left.

*hugs* I'm sorry. Does he need a new kidney? How longs he been on the donar list?

 

[Bandit58]

*hugs* I'm sorry. Does he need a new kidney? How longs he been on the donar list?

Thank you for the hugs sweet grace

Originally He was told that he would not be eligible for a transplant as the drugs He would have to take would kill Him quicker than the renal failure. BUT when we got engaged last year the specialist did a turnaround and asked Him if He'd reconsider having a transplant! WTF??? So He has had some tests, which found coronary artery disease so He had to have an angioplasty (stent to open up a partially blocked artery). We haven't heard any more about a transplant, I know it won't happen unless He can give up smoking which is going to be extremely hard for Him as He's been a heavy smoker for 40 years.

He goes back to see the specialist in 6 weeks, decisions will have to be made by then.......

 

[graceanne]

Thank you for the hugs sweet grace

Originally He was told that he would not be eligible for a transplant as the drugs He would have to take would kill Him quicker than the renal failure. BUT when we got engaged last year the specialist did a turnaround and asked Him if He'd reconsider having a transplant! WTF??? So He has had some tests, which found coronary artery disease so He had to have an angioplasty (stent to open up a partially blocked artery). We haven't heard any more about a transplant, I know it won't happen unless He can give up smoking which is going to be extremely hard for Him as He's been a heavy smoker for 40 years.

He goes back to see the specialist in 6 weeks, decisions will have to be made by then.......

Sucks. Wish I could help. *hugs*

 

[chris9]

Evil rain
My day started almost great (dreamed about my grandma dying, so that was not so great). Still, I felt good about myself and stuff this morning. Had fun at lunch. Long lunch break.
Then I was supposed to take a trial exam (it's for me to practice, nothing of consequence). And because I want to take the real exam in four months I really should be practicing like hell, and taking every single of those trial ones. I really didn't know what to do with the case we got. Nada. Never heard of, couldn't find any relevant norms, gave up.
But it was still early, so I decided to study for the rest of the afternoon. I settled in the library, got lucky, nice place at a window, opposite of one of the hottest guys there. Couldn't concentrate on studying
Then it started raining. Getting home is a 10 minute bike ride. Biking in the dark isn't fun, especially not on the very small, very unlit path I have to take, because there is no other road, but I sort of got used to it. Biking in the rain isn't fun. But biking in the dark AND in the rain, no, thank you. So I decided to cut the study session short and go home while it was still light.
The building the library is in is brand-new (maybe 6 months old). They didn't do a good job constructing it, especially the electric doors and the elevator. And they paved the way there with wooden planks. And wood gets extremely slippery when wet. And I was still organizing all the stuff I was carrying. So I fell. Didn't hurt too bad, but one of my pants' legs got soaked.
Now I'm home and eating the Lindt almond chocolate I got christmas. *grrr* It isn't working yet...

 

[shy slave]

Evil rain
My day started almost great (dreamed about my grandma dying, so that was not so great). Still, I felt good about myself and stuff this morning. Had fun at lunch. Long lunch break.
Then I was supposed to take a trial exam (it's for me to practice, nothing of consequence). And because I want to take the real exam in four months I really should be practicing like hell, and taking every single of those trial ones. I really didn't know what to do with the case we got. Nada. Never heard of, couldn't find any relevant norms, gave up.
But it was still early, so I decided to study for the rest of the afternoon. I settled in the library, got lucky, nice place at a window, opposite of one of the hottest guys there. Couldn't concentrate on studying
Then it started raining. Getting home is a 10 minute bike ride. Biking in the dark isn't fun, especially not on the very small, very unlit path I have to take, because there is no other road, but I sort of got used to it. Biking in the rain isn't fun. But biking in the dark AND in the rain, no, thank you. So I decided to cut the study session short and go home while it was still light.
The building the library is in is brand-new (maybe 6 months old). They didn't do a good job constructing it, especially the electric doors and the elevator. And they paved the way there with wooden planks. And wood gets extremely slippery when wet. And I was still organizing all the stuff I was carrying. So I fell. Didn't hurt too bad, but one of my pants' legs got soaked.
Now I'm home and eating the Lindt almond chocolate I got christmas. *grrr* It isn't working yet...

Thats a bad day but the important thing is the Lindt choc.

I know your the chocolate Goddess, but after a bad day its easy to take choc in great gulps as a means of trying to instantly 'heal all ills.' Some chocolate is excellent for that (snickers bars for example) but after a really bad time and if you have good chocolate its almost an art form to make it effective in the full release of 'feel good vibes'

Take it slow, give it time.

True help involves all five senses

Lindt has high milk solids so its very smooth and slow.

Imagine a beautiful man slowly licking your throat, tilt your head back as the choc starts to slide towards the back of your throat, with great care move the almond pieces around your mouth ensuring the choc has melted off all the almonds and is now fully coating your tongue.
Begin to move the small almond pieces over your tongue dipping them into, and back out of, the chocolate (keep thinking about the gorgeous man licking your throat), each time you get the smallest sensory glimpse of almond moving into the chocolate feel his tongue making small movements on your throat, a sense of being touched with the very tip of his tongue, hear his voice murmuring into your skin as he enjoys tasting you........
.
.
.
.When you have all five senses in alinement
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.swallow













Feel better now?

 

[FurryFury]

Sorry Chris!

*Hugs*

It will get better!

I started out the day dry heaving. Yippie.

Fury

 

[chris9]

Wow, thank you, shy. I always knew food was erotic, but just not quite like that.
I'm feeling better already, I just had to vent it out.