The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[YoursSINSerely]

http://www.themanutdfan.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/manutd-squad-1024x819.jpg

and it's breached by a well placed kick

I put in a aerator machine with muddy tines

And, if you would only learn to keep your muddy tines at the door and come to bed naked and smelling like Obsession you could poke me with sometihing besides a metal prod

I put in a hand-held vibrator, preferrably held in your hand.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, if you would only learn to keep your muddy tines at the door and come to bed naked and smelling like Obsession you could poke me with sometihing besides a metal prod

I put in a hand-held vibrator, preferrably held in your hand.

and you set a record for most orgasms in one sitting.

I put in a Swedish masseur to ease your exhausted body...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you set a record for most orgasms in one sitting.

I put in a Swedish masseur to ease your exhausted body...

and, the Swede finds muscles I didn't know I had.

I put in a chocolate bar.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, the Swede finds muscles I didn't know I had.

I put in a chocolate bar.

(Wow, Babs, I didn't know you were into that sort of thing...Oh! you meant "in the vending machine." Sorry.)

and you get a free trip to Hershey, Pennsylvania.

I put in a weekend in the Everglades...

 

[Handley_Page]

and, the Swede finds muscles I didn't know I had.

I put in a chocolate bar.

and it works just the same as it did with Marianne Faithful; I hope.


I put in a pot of tea.

 

[Austin8]

and it works just the same as it did with Marianne Faithful; I hope.


I put in a pot of tea.

and an old scrubber complains it's too weak

I put in a rainy English day

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and an old scrubber complains it's too weak

I put in a rainy English day

and you get a varied collection of soggy Englishmen and women.

I put in a sunny Montreal day...

 

[Austin8]

and you get a varied collection of soggy Englishmen and women.

I put in a sunny Montreal day...

(welcome back Tio)

and the snow melts... slowly

i put in a welcoming spring drizzle... blech!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

(welcome back Tio)

and the snow melts... slowly

i put in a welcoming spring drizzle... blech!

(thanks, Austin; it's nice to be back. Florida could have been a bit warmer, but it was still a welcome respite.)

and when it dries you find a crowd, a host of golden daffodills.

I put in three Welshmen still recovering from St' David's Day...

 

[Austin8]

(thanks, Austin; it's nice to be back. Florida could have been a bit warmer, but it was still a welcome respite.)

and when it dries you find a crowd, a host of golden daffodills.

I put in three Welshmen still recovering from St' David's Day...

and I spray them with 2-4-D (there invasive around here)

I put in Welsh rarebit and hot tea

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and I spray them with 2-4-D (there invasive around here)

I put in Welsh rarebit and hot tea

and you get a trio of Welshman singing thankful miner's ballads.

I put in a set of Tryffid gear, modified for aggressive daffodills...

 

[Austin8]

and you get a trio of Welshman singing thankful miner's ballads.

I put in a set of Tryffid gear, modified for aggressive daffodills...

whats tryffid gear?

I put in a mower blade

 

[Tio_Narratore]

whats tryffid gear?

I put in a mower blade

(The Day of the Triffids - sorry for the misspelling; too much Welsh - motile, aggressive plants from outerspace...do you know the story? it's a classic.)

and the daffys just dull the edge.

I put in a Canadian Northwoods Handy Home Chainsaw, 28-inch size...

 

[Handley_Page]

(The Day of the Triffids - sorry for the misspelling; too much Welsh - motile, aggressive plants from outer space...do you know the story? it's a classic.)

and the daffys just dull the edge.

I put in a Canadian Northwoods Handy Home Chainsaw, 28-inch size...

and you have a problem with trying to get a shoulder-holster for it

I put in a stuffed Elephant

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you have a problem with trying to get a shoulder-holster for it

I put in a stuffed Elephant

and no one in the room is willing to talk about it.

I put in a stuffed Mahout...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and no one in the room is willing to talk about it.

I put in a stuffed Mahout...

And, its such a good likeness that noone can tell him apart from the other figures.

I put in a stuffed sole.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, its such a good likeness that noone can tell him apart from the other figures.

I put in a stuffed sole.

and it cushions your aching foot.

I put in an erotic foot massage...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it cushions your aching foot.

I put in an erotic foot massage...

and, you discover that secret acupressure point that's hooked right to my, umm.....

I put in my right hand.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, you discover that secret acupressure point that's hooked right to my, umm.....

I put in my right hand.

and something warm and wet nestles into it.

I put in something warm and wet looking for a place to nestle...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and something warm and wet nestles into it.

I put in something warm and wet looking for a place to nestle...

And, oh, God, Yes! We are right back to that chocolate bar, again.

I put in something good and long and stiff and ice cold.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, oh, God, Yes! We are right back to that chocolate bar, again.

I put in something good and long and stiff and ice cold.

and you get back a cherry Mr. Freeze.

I put in an order for a cherry Miss Ice Breaker...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get back a cherry Mr. Freeze.

I put in an order for a cherry Miss Ice Breaker...

And, you lick your lips, crack the ice, and begin to slurp away.

I put in an empty cup waiting to be filled.

 

[sacrificedangel]

And, you lick your lips, crack the ice, and begin to slurp away.

I put in an empty cup waiting to be filled.

I fill it with premium almond cappucino with sprinkles.

I put in some pirate gold I keep in the loft.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

I fill it with premium almond cappucino with sprinkles.

I put in some pirate gold I keep in the loft.

and, the gold is melted into the shape of a ring, the perfect size for my toe.

I put in a pair of flipflops.

 

[sacrificedangel]

and, the gold is melted into the shape of a ring, the perfect size for my toe.

I put in a pair of flipflops.

And I get to join the international Flip-flop flinging competition...

I put in a full steak dinner, with baby new potatoes, veg, garlic butter sauce and a fine wine to wash it down with.