The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[DeevaLicious]

And the nude model shimmers and wavers, becoming a striking woodsman, who flashes a cheeky grin and a wink.

I put in a few aspirin for the inevitable headache to come after the high wears off.

( Thanks! )

and somehow it makes the vending machine clear of it's vapors.

I put in a mini sharpie in blood red..

 

[Zom_Dom]

( Thanks! )

and somehow it makes the vending machine clear of it's vapors.

I put in a mini sharpie in blood red..

And "REDRUM" slowly scrawls itself across the face of the machine, while the door opens and sheet after sheet of paper slowly slip out, all bearing "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" written over and over on down the pages...

I put in a bottle of Spanich Rose wine, and two crystal goblets.

 

[DeevaLicious]

And "REDRUM" slowly scrawls itself across the face of the machine, while the door opens and sheet after sheet of paper slowly slip out, all bearing "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" written over and over on down the pages...

I put in a bottle of Spanich Rose wine, and two crystal goblets.

(I'm impressed that was really good!)

and naked guy gives me a corkscrew. To open the bottle of course!

I pour it and hand you a glass, putting the cork back in the vending machine so we'll surely finish the bottle..

 

[Zom_Dom]

(I'm impressed that was really good!)

and naked guy gives me a corkscrew. To open the bottle of course!

I pour it and hand you a glass, putting the cork back in the vending machine so we'll surely finish the bottle..

o Thanks, yours have been great too, as always )

And we toast the machine's continued health, as well as happiness and friendship with a hearty Prost, Dosdrovya, Cheers, Salud, Salutate and whatever other toasts might come to mind.

I put in some cheese and crackers, and a juice box for the machine itself (its had enough already tonight, what with that copenhaggen earlier, then the smoking, then the paint thinner, the last thing it needs is alcohol...)

 

[Handley_Page]

o Thanks, yours have been great too, as always )

And we toast the machine's continued health, as well as happiness and friendship with a hearty Prost, Dosdrovya, Cheers, Salud, Salutate and whatever other toasts might come to mind.

I put in some cheese and crackers, and a juice box for the machine itself (its had enough already tonight, what with that copenhaggen earlier, then the smoking, then the paint thinner, the last thing it needs is alcohol...)

and the machine prints a ticker-tape from the side port: Brandy - gimme Brandy.

I put in an full English Breakfast.

 

[Austin8]

and the machine prints a ticker-tape from the side port: Brandy - gimme Brandy.

I put in an full English Breakfast.

and since it's way to late for breakfast there, I enjoy a rasher of bacon,farm eggs sunny side up, lovely tomatoes, grilled mushrooms, tea, coffee and may I have a side of black pudding and oatcakes please

I refresh the machine with hot coffee

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and since it's way to late for breakfast there, I enjoy a rasher of bacon,farm eggs sunny side up, lovely tomatoes, grilled mushrooms, tea, coffee and may I have a side of black pudding and oatcakes please

I refresh the machine with hot coffee

I'm awake, now.

I put in a pulsating showerhead made in America.

 

[Zom_Dom]

I'm awake, now.

I put in a pulsating showerhead made in America.

And you end up with a very stimulating wake up call...

I put in a few extra towels, just in case...

 

[Austin8]

And you end up with a very stimulating wake up call...

I put in a few extra towels, just in case...

after the pulsating metal god finishes it's erotic business on Bar, we all require a towel, "I should have brought the slip and slide!"

I put in a website for posting nasty pictures

 

[sacrificedangel]

I put in a website for posting nasty pictures

Excellent! Just what I was looking for..

I leave half my BDSM bookshelf...

 

[Zom_Dom]

Excellent! Just what I was looking for..

I leave half my BDSM bookshelf...

And the vending machine breaks out in a bright red blush, then begins to creak with the tremendous weight...

I put in a tall metal candleabra.

 

[Austin8]

And the vending machine breaks out in a bright red blush, then begins to creak with the tremendous weight...

I put in a tall metal candleabra.

and eerie organ music begins to play, the sounds of clanking chains, and grinding metal gears can be heard coming from the heat dissipater behind the machine.

I put in a saw horse with some strange clamping devices attached with a chain link to the legs...

 

[Handley_Page]

and eerie organ music begins to play, the sounds of clanking chains, and grinding metal gears can be heard coming from the heat dissipater behind the machine.

I put in a saw horse with some strange clamping devices attached with a chain link to the legs...

and it changes to a Pantomime Horse.

I put in some oil for the creaking, grinding, gears.

 

[Austin8]

and it changes to a Pantomime Horse.

I put in some oil for the creaking, grinding, gears.

and a happy glow surrounds the beloved vend Machine as it's parts smooth out and run quitely

I put in a Lanchester hotpot

 

[Handley_Page]

and a happy glow surrounds the beloved vend Machine as it's parts smooth out and run quitely

I put in a Lanchester hotpot

as in the warm cylinder of a Lanchester motor car ?
and hot oil drips round your hands


I put in a new cylinder liner

 

[Austin8]

as in the warm cylinder of a Lanchester motor car ?
and hot oil drips round your hands


I put in a new cylinder liner

it's a sinking feeling, but the feel off warm oil and metal fragments in hand, is comforting in a bizarre way.

I put in a snap-on tool kit

 

[YoursSINSerely]

it's a sinking feeling, but the feel off warm oil and metal fragments in hand, is comforting in a bizarre way.

I put in a snap-on tool kit

And, Stanley is up for a little friendly competition.

I put in a real Craftsman.

 

[Austin8]

And, Stanley is up for a little friendly competition.

I put in a real Craftsman.

and he charges way to much

I put in a red folding chair

 

[kimbalee]

and he charges way to much

I put in a red folding chair

and it inspires a girl who walks by to reenact the scene from the movie, "Flash Dance."

I put in a piece of Kahlua Cocoa Coffee Cheesecake topped with whipping cream...

 

[DeevaLicious]

and it inspires a girl who walks by to reenact the scene from the movie, "Flash Dance."

I put in a piece of Kahlua Cocoa Coffee Cheesecake topped with whipping cream...

and I grab 2 forks in case anyone wants to share!

I put in a steaming cup of coffee to go with it..

 

[Handley_Page]

and I grab 2 forks in case anyone wants to share!

I put in a steaming cup of coffee to go with it..

but there's no second mug.

I put in a regular bucket of sunshine.

 

[kimbalee]

but there's no second mug.

I put in a regular bucket of sunshine.

and the vending machine starts singing, "I got a pocket, got a pocket for of sunshine... I got a love and I know that it's all mine..."

I put in 15 tons of snow...

 

[Handley_Page]

and the vending machine starts singing, "I got a pocket, got a pocket for of sunshine... I got a love and I know that it's all mine..."

I put in 15 tons of snow...

and the sunshine is (temporarily) quenched. It gets very dark.

I put in a wind-up torch with a broken handle

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the sunshine is (temporarily) quenched. It gets very dark.

I put in a wind-up torch with a broken handle

And, the naked lady welders have to put the bridge together with their bare hands and big spool of wire.

I put in a Matchbox Mercedes.

 

[sacrificedangel]

Uses one of her three wishes to make it a real one...

Leaves 3/4 bottle of Alice in Wonderland's shrinking potion