The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

and, I claim them as my own to replace all the marbles I have lost.

I throw in a handful of jacks.

and you are taken to the nearest Hospital for treatment, having played the jacks in the gutter of the main street.

I put in a bunch of flowers for a recovering Jacks player.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you are taken to the nearest Hospital for treatment, having played the jacks in the gutter of the main street.

I put in a bunch of flowers for a recovering Jacks player.

And, the smell of spring helps to speed the recovery.

I put in a speeding bullet.

 

[Austin8]

And, the smell of spring helps to speed the recovery.

I put in a speeding bullet.

and you get a big HI-Ooo! in the spirit of Johnny Carson

I put in a jovial side-kick

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a big HI-Ooo! in the spirit of Johnny Carson

I put in a jovial side-kick

And, Ed and his crew from the Publisher's Clearinghouse arrive at your doorstep with a dozen roses and a big giant check made out to me

I put in a trashy tabloid.

 

[Austin8]

And, Ed and his crew from the Publisher's Clearinghouse arrive at your doorstep with a dozen roses and a big giant check made out to me

I put in a trashy tabloid.

and in it I read about many of our beloved A/Hers

I put in a hand formed tortellini

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and in it I read about many of our beloved A/Hers

I put in a hand formed tortellini

and you find it installed in the Andy Warhol Memorial Gallery.

I put in one of Giuseppina's special canoles...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you find it installed in the Andy Warhol Memorial Gallery.

I put in one of Giuseppina's special canoles...

And, the very thought of sticking my tongue into that tube and slowly sucking out all of that sweet cream filling has me licking my lips and drooling.

I put in a baker's dozen of your choice pastry.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, the very thought of sticking my tongue into that tube and slowly sucking out all of that sweet cream filling has me licking my lips and drooling.

I put in a baker's dozen of your choice pastry.

and you get back 13 kisses, each in a different place.

I put in a bottle of dessert wine...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get back 13 kisses, each in a different place.

I put in a bottle of dessert wine...

and, there's a * tiny sip of wine and slurp of you, , repeat from *

I put in a very loopy blonde who doesn't know her pastas from her pasties.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, there's a * tiny sip of wine and slurp of you, , repeat from *

I put in a very loopy blonde who doesn't know her pastas from her pasties.

and you get a vaudeville stripper with edible nipple covers.

I put in a peckish pastie peeper...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a vaudeville stripper with edible nipple covers.

I put in a peckish pastie peeper...

And, the frog suns himself and slowly drifts away on the lily pad,

I put in a pocket rod and reel.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, the frog suns himself and slowly drifts away on the lily pad,

I put in a pocket rod and reel.

and Ron Popeil comes to sweep you off your feet.

I put in an infomercial for the "Magic Bullit"...

 

[Austin8]

and Ron Popeil comes to sweep you off your feet.

I put in an infomercial for the "Magic Bullit"...

and Bar has it confused with the women's sex toy by the same name

I put in a pewter frog holding a small tubular rain gauge

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and Bar has it confused with the women's sex toy by the same name

I put in a pewter frog holding a small tubular rain gauge

Hi, Austin!

And, the frog jumps over the moon, but Babs takes off with the tube for parts unknown.

I put in a spring.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Hi, Austin!

And, the frog jumps over the moon, but Babs takes off with the tube for parts unknown.

I put in a spring.

and summer soon follows.

I put in a vernal equinox...

 

[Austin8]

and summer soon follows.

I put in a vernal equinox...

Hi bar

and you get a ride in a Saturn

I put in a early spring rainday

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Hi bar

and you get a ride in a Saturn

I put in a early spring rainday

and a little mudslide deposits a lovely young model at your studio door.

I put in a full range of earth-tone colored pencils...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and a little mudslide deposits a lovely young model at your studio door.

I put in a full range of earth-tone colored pencils...

and, I place all the pencils in a cup, point side up, with a sticky note attached to each one: For Austin, For Austin, For Austin

I put in a toll-free phone number.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I place all the pencils in a cup, point side up, with a sticky note attached to each one: For Austin, For Austin, For Austin

I put in a toll-free phone number.

and you can't handle the number of calls from men searching for a SINSere woman.

I put in an unexpected knock on your door...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you can't handle the number of calls from men searching for a SINSere woman.

I put in an unexpected knock on your door...

and, I try to hold the towel tightly closed around my freshly showered bosom as I open the door.

I put in a scent of orange blossoms.

 

[Austin8]

and you can't handle the number of calls from men searching for a SINSere woman.

I put in an unexpected knock on your door...

and you get a panic stricken woman saying, "Oh Shit, oh shit, oh shit!"

I put in a post office box

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a panic stricken woman saying, "Oh Shit, oh shit, oh shit!"

I put in a post office box

And, all of your girlie magazines quickly fill it up.

I put in one mail-order bride.

 

[Austin8]

And, all of your girlie magazines quickly fill it up.

I put in one mail-order bride.

and she wants OUT of the machine, * Banging on the glass* Let me OUTTA Here!"

I put in a cool drink for pissed Mail order bride

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and she wants OUT of the machine, * Banging on the glass* Let me OUTTA Here!"

I put in a cool drink for pissed Mail order bride

and, we all know she is from the country with the best vodka in the world and the glass is set into an ice bath.

I put in double shot of Stoli.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, we all know she is from the country with the best vodka in the world and the glass is set into an ice bath.

I put in double shot of Stoli.

and Molly grabs it first.


I put in a stuffed Pike