The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[voluptuary_manque]

And you get back a torn condom.

I put in a set of fur lined handcuffs...

And you get an upset she-bear with shaved wrists.

I put in a cask of Amontillado.

 

[Austin8]

And you get back a torn condom.

I put in a set of fur lined handcuffs...

and you get my girlfriend demanding them back.

I put in a elctrolux deep suck attachment...


Good one TE

 

[The_Darkness]

And you get an upset she-bear with shaved wrists.

I put in a cask of Amontillado.

And you get back a plate of favre beans and a nice chianti.

I put in a shaved beaver.

 

[PaperAutumn]

And you get a very chilly little rodent

I put in a copy of the "Cuddle Sutra"

 

[The_Darkness]

And you get a very chilly little rodent

I put in a copy of the "Cuddle Sutra"

And you get a Nintendo Wii with the Wii Fit package.

I put in a gift pack of massage oils and a mink glove.

 

[Handley_Page]

I put in a gift pack of massage oils and a mink glove.

And you get an angry bald Mink with shiny skin.

I put in my late grandad's dentures

 

[The_Darkness]

And you get an angry bald Mink with shiny skin.

I put in my late grandad's dentures

And you get back someone's grandmother, sans dentures.

I put in a hail stone the size of a baseball.

 

[Austin8]

And you get back someone's grandmother, sans dentures.

I put in a hail stone the size of a baseball.

and you get young blonde with a bat.

I put in ropes used on Patty last night...

 

[voluptuary_manque]

and you get young blonde with a bat.

I put in ropes used on Patty last night...

And get back a copy of The Ashley Book of Knots, autographed.


I put in a safe.

 

[Handley_Page]

I put in a safe.

And get out a stick of dynamite.


I put in a Hearing Aid

 

[Austin8]

And get out a stick of dynamite.


I put in a Hearing Aid

and you get a young blonde that keeps saying, "Huh?"

I put in a tub of bacon fat...

 

[Handley_Page]

I put in a tub of bacon fat...

And you get a nasty warm mess on the floor.


I put in an old car battery.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

And you get a nasty warm mess on the floor.


I put in an old car battery.

and you get back a grim-faced middle school teacher with operant conditioning on his mind.


I put in a hundred pages of homework assigned out of pure spite.

 

[Handley_Page]

I put in a hundred pages of homework assigned out of pure spite.

And you get 32 mouse-nests and a large quantity of confetti.


I put in a box of blunt pencils

 

[Austin8]

And you get 32 mouse-nests and a large quantity of confetti.


I put in a box of blunt pencils

and you get a training switch across your ass.

I put in a nipple clamp...

 

[Handley_Page]

And you get a old, locked padlock.

I put in a Juniper tree

 

[Austin8]

And you get a old, locked padlock.

I put in a Juniper tree

and you get covered in yellow pollen.

I put in a naughty school teacher...

 

[Handley_Page]

I put in a naughty school teacher...

And you get a Jail sentence.

I put in a Thesaurus. [and I'm off to bed. Night all ]

 

[Austin8]

And you get a Jail sentence.

I put in a Thesaurus. [and I'm off to bed. Night all ]

What a wonderful sentence it would be

and you get a wordy thespian.

I put in a pack of camel cigarettes...

Night Handley

 

[voluptuary_manque]

What a wonderful sentence it would be

and you get a wordy thespian.

I put in a pack of camel cigarettes...

Night Handley

And you get a camel with hypertension and incipient lung cancer.


I put in a recently discovered old scroll.

 

[Austin8]

And you get a camel with hypertension and incipient lung cancer.


I put in a recently discovered old scroll.

I think your post's are the coolest, Bear!

and you get the key to the Golden City

i put in an old post on page 3...

 

[Handley_Page]

i put in an old post on page 3...

[ note: there is a UK Newspaper that has a pretty lady on page 3 ]


And you get a very angry Woodpecker complaining about his new nest being ruined.

I put in a Joystick.

 

[The_Darkness]

[ note: there is a UK Newspaper that has a pretty lady on page 3 ]


And you get a very angry Woodpecker complaining about his new nest being ruined.

I put in a Joystick.

And you get back a Sybian

I put in two of the 4-cell Mag Light flash lights.

 

[Austin8]

And you get back a Sybian

I put in two of the 4-cell Mag Light flash lights.

and you get Claire Maglica's divorce attorney.

I put in a pink pixie anal probe...

 

[The_Darkness]

and you get Claire Maglica's divorce attorney.

I put in a pink pixie anal probe...

And you get back an 8-inch cock shaped icecube tray.

I put in a fist full of pacifiers.