Shit stirrer

[lc69hunter]

I have been gently harrassing the anonymous trolls, including 26thNC, on a routine conference sex story where the wife strays and then tells hubby. Not extremely well written, but not bad. The author indicated to me she was enjoying my comments. Finally, I just posted a comment, hoping to get some responses, including rage.

The question was, "If your wife or girlfriend is out of town, away from family or friends, and happens to sample a strange cock, likes it, and brings home he increased libido and energy to bed, and as a male, you respond and all at once your love life, which was in embers, is all at once in flames, as it was when you married, and then sometime later, maybe even much later, a friend tells you that she fucked a guy at a conference years ago.

Please tell me what you think you lost, as opposed to what you have gained. As, I do not understand the misplaced rage you exhibit.

(IRL, I do not understand, either)

I am waiting for at least one reasoned response.

Question is, will I get one?

 

[WrongFrog]

Probably not here on Lit, most writers of erotica are, if not personally open-minded to the kink, willing to let others enjoy what they enjoy.

I'm personally not cool with cheating. But if my partner came to me and was like, hey, I want to open things up as long as we keep our partners outside of our home and marriage- eh, I'm probably cool with it. Reading or writing about cheating? Currently have two in the works, both with elements of revenge and malice aforethought.

I don't think people who create erotica are really hardwired to be judgemental about anything sexual.

 

[Yarglenurp]

You're operating under the assumption that these anonymous trolls are posting in good faith. As in it's their earnest belief. But it's a poor assumption.

 

[TheLobster]

Please tell me what you think you lost

Trust in your wife? I mean, how is this even a question?

 

[John_Vandermeer]

Probably not here on Lit, most writers of erotica are, if not personally open-minded to the kink, willing to let others enjoy what they enjoy.

I'm personally not cool with cheating. But if my partner came to me and was like, hey, I want to open things up as long as we keep our partners outside of our home and marriage- eh, I'm probably cool with it. Reading or writing about cheating? Currently have two in the works, both with elements of revenge and malice aforethought.

I don't think people who create erotica are really hardwired to be judgemental about anything sexual.

Actually, plenty of erotica authors and readers, certainly in AH, are quite judgemental about kinks that are not their own. Even though for some certain more taboo kinks are the main attraction to erotica, for others anything nonmonogamy, not fully consensual, or incestuous, for example, are among the things that will always bring everything from righteous scorn to snide condescension from others.

 

[MrHereWriting]

I have been gently harrassing the anonymous trolls, including 26thNC, on a routine conference sex story where the wife strays and then tells hubby. Not extremely well written, but not bad. The author indicated to me she was enjoying my comments. Finally, I just posted a comment, hoping to get some responses, including rage.

The question was, "If your wife or girlfriend is out of town, away from family or friends, and happens to sample a strange cock, likes it, and brings home he increased libido and energy to bed, and as a male, you respond and all at once your love life, which was in embers, is all at once in flames, as it was when you married, and then sometime later, maybe even much later, a friend tells you that she fucked a guy at a conference years ago.

Please tell me what you think you lost, as opposed to what you have gained. As, I do not understand the misplaced rage you exhibit.

(IRL, I do not understand, either)

I am waiting for at least one reasoned response.

Question is, will I get one?

The problem with trolling anonymous trolls is that it's all in your head.

 

[StillStunned]

Actually, plenty of erotica authors and readers, certainly in AH, are quite judgemental about kinks that are not their own. Even though for some certain more taboo kinks are the main attraction to erotica, for others anything nonmonogamy, not fully consensual, or incestuous, for example, are among the things that will always bring everything from righteous scorn to snide condescension from others.

That's not my impression of the AH over the nine months that I've been here. When kinks come up at all, it's mostly in the context of writing them. Most of the tension here seems to be reserved the really important issues such as whether redheads are better than blondes, what the ideal chapter length is and whether it's acceptable for a mother's pussy to be shaved.

 

[lovecraft68]

Trust in your wife? I mean, how is this even a question?

In real life? Absolutely.

I worked with a woman for ten years, one day she's upset at work, just breaks down, and tells myself and another co-worker her husband cheated on her. She ends up letting him stay (because this always shows cheats how wrong they were) but months later she's asking me if I'll call a number for her and see who answers. It was a number she found on a piece of paper in his pocket, Turns out it was some forklift rental place, point is she never trusted him again, and lived in paranoia. Lot of men and women choose to live like this for some reason.

But...that's real life, here what many don't understand is the cheating is the fetish. Many men, most in fantasy only, like the idea of a wife cheating. Why? Not sure, not my thing, but I don't have to understand anything beyond it does it for some people the same way Taboo, or Non con, any kink not considered tame, does it for others.

LW trolls-IMO-are a mix of scorned men, people who push their morals at others, or the type that the story turns on, but they're not comfortable with their kink, so while mess they made is still sticky and all over them, they then type a hate bomb at the author, that's really meant for themselves.

 

[lovecraft68]

Most of the tension here seems to be reserved the really important issues such as whether redheads are better than blondes.

Blonde's are reputed to be more fun.
Redheads are a wild and dangerous breed and hard to handle.

What's more of a turn on to you?

I married a greed eyed red haired Sicilian. On my wedding day, a longtime friend of mine who had moved to California and hadn't met my wife until that day joked, "You always did have a death wish."

As for Moms? What the hell is wrong with you to even ask that? Moms have hair down their because they're real women, only barely legal daddy's girls are smooth. Get your incest rules straight. Jeez.

 

[Plathfan]

The problem with trolling anonymous trolls is that it's all in your head.

The problem with laser-precision distinctions is that they rarely hit their target.

 

[Plathfan]

I worked with a woman for ten years, one day she's upset at work, just breaks down, and tells myself and another co-worker her husband cheated on her. She ends up letting him stay (because this always shows cheats how wrong they were) but months later she's asking me if I'll call a number for her and see who answers. It was a number she found on a piece of paper in his pocket, Turns out it was some forklift rental place, point is she never trusted him again, and lived in paranoia. Lot of men and women choose to live like this for some reason.

There. True stories from real life are wasted as social media gossip instead of becoming meaningful narratives. Why always focus on the improbable, the shallow, and the eccentric instead of the common and plausible? What is the fear -- that it will be too real? Are you truly catering to the majority of readers, or just a fraction of them, driving the rest away?

 

[lovecraft68]

There. True stories from real life are wasted as social media gossip instead of becoming meaningful narratives. Why always focus on the improbable, the shallow, and the eccentric instead of the common and plausible? What is the fear -- that it will be too real? Are you truly catering to the majority of readers, or just a fraction of them, driving the rest away?

I think you have to look at the platform you're writing on. This is an erotica site, and although there is an audience here that enjoy some realism in their stories, I don't think a story that's just flat out sad and disheartening is what most people here are looking for.

Now, if you're writing on a more mainstream (for lack of a better term) then sure, a story of real life heartache that hits home for some people, and could serve as a warning to others -don't let this happen to you!-would be much better received.

 

[Plathfan]

I think you have to look at the platform you're writing on. This is an erotica site, and although there is an audience here that enjoy some realism in their stories, I don't think a story that's just flat out sad and disheartening is what most people here are looking for.

Now, if you're writing on a more mainstream (for lack of a better term) then sure, a story of real life heartache that hits home for some people, and could serve as a warning to others -don't let this happen to you!-would be much better received.

I don't see why you have to pair sad and disheartening together. Erotica can be very effective and realistic, even among cheaters and sinners. Claiming that only cartoons can be fun or entertaining is a rather absurd assumption.

 

[lovecraft68]

I don't see why you have to pair sad and disheartening together. Erotica can be very effective and realistic, even among cheaters and sinners. Claiming that only cartoons can be fun or entertaining is a rather absurd assumption.

Not saying it can't be effective, just not so much here. I'm sure a story like that would get some praise, but more likely a lot of "what the fuck is this shit?" then a bunch of smoke blowing crap about what they would do if they were her.

Then again, I'm associating a cheating story with LW. Maybe this could play in non-erotic, or possibly a sad romance of sorts.

 

[Plathfan]

Not saying it can't be effective, just not so much here. I'm sure a story like that would get some praise, but more likely a lot of "what the fuck is this shit?" then a bunch of smoke blowing crap about what they would do if they were her.

Then again, I'm associating a cheating story with LW. Maybe this could play in non-erotic, or possibly a sad romance of sorts.

I think you only find kinky or twisted marital affairs erotic or interesting, so we'll just have to disagree on that.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Trust in your wife? I mean, how is this even a question?

I have to agree. When we married, my wife and I had an understanding that cheating was a the one unforgivable sin. In any relationship there has to be an understanding of what's expected. Her family had zero successful marriages and lots of cheating/drama. My family was the exact opposite. She told me she had no expectation that I would be true, based on her experiences.

So we made that decision early. Cheating was a one-way ticket to singlesville, whether we were together 3 months of 50 years. Because it wasn't just a marriage vow, it was an agreement between us. To break it would indicate a lack of respect and love for the other. Cheating indicates that the devotion and commitment that you receive from the other partner is meaningless. It's an admission that "What I want, right now, in this moment" is more important than EVERYTHING we have built together.

But that's not who we are. Looser expectations might work for some people, but not us. And after 33 years, we're still in together.

 

[SimonDoom]

Please tell me what you think you lost, as opposed to what you have gained. As, I do not understand the misplaced rage you exhibit.

(IRL, I do not understand, either)

I am waiting for at least one reasoned response.

Question is, will I get one?

Trust. What's more important than that?

This isn't me kink-shaming. I'm not in such a relationship, but I can imagine the pleasures of an open marriage. But honesty and transparency would be essential. If I found out my wife cheated on me I'm not sure she could regain my trust.

The idea of fantasizing about being cheated on behind one's back, and finding that erotic, is fascinating to me. That's a hard one for me to wrap my brain around. I suppose it's an aspect of finding humiliation erotic, which I can sort of understand even if I don't personally feel it.

 

[lovecraft68]

Trust. What's more important than that?

This isn't me kink-shaming. I'm not in such a relationship, but I can imagine the pleasures of an open marriage. But honesty and transparency would be essential. If I found out my wife cheated on me I'm not sure she could regain my trust.

The idea of fantasizing about being cheated on behind one's back, and finding that erotic, is fascinating to me. That's a hard one for me to wrap my brain around. I suppose it's an aspect of finding humiliation erotic, which I can sort of understand even if I don't personally feel it.

My hotwife stories-and I don't have many-reflect my take on cuckold being a form of submission akin to BDSM and the humiliation and being "forced" to watch falls under they don't want to enjoy it, but they do.
Hotwife/Cuck is a marital form of Mistress/slave to me.

 

[SimonDoom]

My hotwife stories-and I don't have many-reflect my take on cuckold being a form of submission akin to BDSM and the humiliation and being "forced" to watch falls under they don't want to enjoy it, but they do.
Hotwife/Cuck is a marital form of Mistress/slave to me.

It might be the male counterpart of the female nonconsent fantasy. Many people are very conflicted about their sexual desires, and a way of resolving it is to fantasize about having sex forced on one, so one is no longer responsible for it. When your wife cheats on your without your knowledge, then you aren't responsible for it in any way and in a sense you can enjoy it without guilt.

It might also be a self-esteem thing. Some men might think, "If I'm the best my wife can do, she's not so great. But if another man wants her and takes her, then she must be hot."

I don't know. Pure speculation.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

It might also be a self-esteem thing. Some men might think, "If I'm the best my wife can do, she's not so great. But if another man wants her and takes her, then she must be hot."

I think there's a lot of truth to this. I've read a number of stories where part of the thrill seems to be everyone else knowing how hot your wife is.

One of them even had the couple privately living a femdom chastity cuckold relationship, but with the wife inviting all his friends over, dressing sexy and cooking for them, and letting them all know she's going to fuck him after they leave. Basically giving him the reputation of a stud with a beautiful, domestically inclined, sexually available wife even if that was the complete opposite of their truth. I thought it was a sweet twist on the old trope.

 

[lovecraft68]

It might be the male counterpart of the female nonconsent fantasy. Many people are very conflicted about their sexual desires, and a way of resolving it is to fantasize about having sex forced on one, so one is no longer responsible for it. When your wife cheats on your without your knowledge, then you aren't responsible for it in any way and in a sense you can enjoy it without guilt.

It might also be a self-esteem thing. Some men might think, "If I'm the best my wife can do, she's not so great. But if another man wants her and takes her, then she must be hot."

I don't know. Pure speculation.

I read a book published in the late sixties revolving around what at the time was considered sexual dysfunctions, but these days we call them kinks.

One of them was Trollism (I believe that was the term), which focused on a man who thought his wife was so desirable he wanted to 'brag' by letting other men sleep with her, so he'd try to push the wife to do it. Therapy was recommended back then. Still should be in the sense that if your partner is not onboard, pushing them is not healthy.

In the how to forum I've seen a lot of threads along the lines of "How can I get my wife to be with another man" It's bigger than a lot of people want to talk about in the real world.

 

[lovecraft68]

I think there's a lot of truth to this. I've read a number of stories where part of the thrill seems to be everyone else knowing how hot your wife is.

One of them even had the couple privately living a femdom chastity cuckold relationship, but with the wife inviting all his friends over, dressing sexy and cooking for them, and letting them all know she's going to fuck him after they leave. Basically giving him the reputation of a stud with a beautiful, domestically inclined, sexually available wife even if that was the complete opposite of their truth. I thought it was a sweet twist on the old trope.

The self loathing of desiring something, getting it, then being upset that you got it, and sometimes even in the midst of getting it.

I've written one full out GM scene and as I really don't know much about the dynamic had the character who's POV its from be one of the types where he's "all man" to the world at large, even has sex with women to keep up the image, but what he truly craves is lady boys. During the sex he's conflicted and angry even iduring the act and the sex is always rough as he takes his self loathing out on his partner as if its his fault he wants him.

I figured I was kind of pissing in the wind in that scene, but someone who writes a lot of GM here took a look at it, and told me I had no idea how common that is and I nailed it.

They say write what you know, and I know fucked up and being unhappy with yourself.

 

[KeithD]

The problem with trolling anonymous trolls is that it's all in your head.

The greater problem with trolling anonymous trolls in the story file is that you rile them up to dumping more on the other authors' stories posted there.

 

[StillStunned]

They say write what you know, and I know fucked up and being unhappy with yourself.

That's probably the most valuable kind of knowledge for a writer to possess. As long as you're aware of it, and can transpose it to the situations you're writing about. It's why my story "Fairytale of New York" evoked so much response. Probably also why the original song is still so popular after all these years.

 

[KeithD]

Write what you can understand (or want to understand) via research.