The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

and you get an unhappy woman.

I put in a couples' weekend...

And he wins the local Golf tournament


I put in a box of new tennis balls

 

[Noor]

And he wins the local Golf tournament


I put in a box of new tennis balls

and you get marbles

I put in one very complicated aerial

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get marbles

I put in one very complicated aerial

and you get a simple signal


I put in a used tractor tyre

 

[stickygirl]

and you get a simple signal


I put in a used tractor tyre

and you get a slippery furrow..

I put in a set of Cambridge rolls

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a slippery furrow..

I put in a set of Cambridge rolls

it gets sent to Crewe for a service.

I put in a No8 Gripley

 

[stickygirl]

it gets sent to Crewe for a service.

I put in a No8 Gripley

and out come two no4 Gripleys

I put in a wing and a prayer

 

[Handley_Page]

and out come two no4 Gripleys

I put in a wing and a prayer

And Lo, they did ascend the Heavens. . . .


I put in a small rocket engine

 

[Lettergnome]

And Lo, they did ascend the Heavens. . . .


I put in a small rocket engine

...you get one Korean dictator.

I put in an irritable hedgehog.

 

[mynameisben]

...you get one Korean dictator.

I put in an irritable hedgehog.

And you get Sonic the pussy whipped woodchuck.


I put in my own two cents.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get Sonic the pussy whipped woodchuck.


I put in my own two cents.

I pull the handle on the slot machine and you win the jackpot!

I put in a cashier's check for a bazillion dollars...

 

[mynameisben]

I pull the handle on the slot machine and you win the jackpot!

I put in a cashier's check for a bazillion dollars...

And you get a vending machine that's on it's way to the French Riviera. And my two cents.

I put in a rubber chicken.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get a vending machine that's on it's way to the French Riviera. And my two cents.

I put in a rubber chicken.

and you get a really chewy chicken salad on a day old croissant.

I put in a handful of loose coins, pocket lint included...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a really chewy chicken salad on a day old croissant.

I put in a handful of loose coins, pocket lint included...

and you get change in Roman Dinari. . . .


I put in a box of Vietnam memorabilia.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get change in Roman Dinari. . . .


I put in a box of Vietnam memorabilia.

and you get some really bad flashbacks. Bummer, Man!

I put in friends lost for nothing...

 

[stickygirl]

and you get some really bad flashbacks. Bummer, Man!

I put in friends lost for nothing...

and you get a performance of Love's Labour Lost

I put in Malvolio's yellow stockings

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a performance of Love's Labour Lost

I put in Malvolio's yellow stockings

and you end up believing that the square of the hypoteneuse equals the sum of the squares of the other two sides.

I put old man Riemann in the VM again...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you end up believing that the square of the hypoteneuse equals the sum of the squares of the other two sides.

I put old man Riemann in the VM again...

and it still adds up to trivial zeros.


I put in some whole numbers

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and it still adds up to trivial zeros.


I put in some whole numbers

and you get a base-twelve system of measurements.

I put in an Imperial gallon...

 

[stickygirl]

and you get a base-twelve system of measurements.

I put in an Imperial gallon...

and you get a Texan in a ten litre hat ( litre is spelled this way )

I put in a pint of Virgin Olive oil

Hi Tio

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a Texan in a ten litre hat ( litre is spelled this way )

I put in a pint of Virgin Olive oil

Hi Tio

(Well, Jane, where I live, liter is often spelled litre.)

and you get a glistening, slippery virgin.

I put in an olio...

(and I will be responding to your letter, Jane. Patience.)

 

[Handley_Page]

(Well, Jane, where I live, liter is often spelled litre.)

and you get a glistening, slippery virgin.

I put in an olio...

(and I will be responding to your letter, Jane. Patience.)

but it does not fit the 'plane.


I put in a RADAR set.

 

[stickygirl]

but it does not fit the 'plane.


I put in a RADAR set.

...but you get a sub-refraction derived warning and steer hard right into rocks by mistake

I put in some sensible precautions

 

[Tio_Narratore]

...but you get a sub-refraction derived warning and steer hard right into rocks by mistake

I put in some sensible precautions

and you find them useless in the face of absurdity.

I put in a smidgen of adversity...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you find them useless in the face of absurdity.

I put in a smidgen of adversity...

and miss the game.


I put in a reflection

 

[Noor]

and miss the game.


I put in a reflection

and you get a big smile on a webcam

I put in a pedometer