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I'm totally and utterly in love with the one person I cannot ever have...It kills me a little bit each day.

:(




:heart:
 
Oh wow, I can't wait for that! :)

So I had a proper, honest to god PTSD flashback last night. That's been happening a bit more often lately, seems like my new meds aren't touching it. Apparently it's pretty unsettling for anyone watching me, too, but when my wife told me that I let her know that it wasn't exactly a picnic for me, either. Can't wait for it to happen out in public, so I can really be a crazy person.

Damn, that is scary! I hope they get the meds regulated so that you don't have to keep going through this.

You might not enjoy the babies kicking you when they keep you up at night....;)
 
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I rarely drink alcohol.

1) One drink and I am tipsy, two I am drunk.

It makes me a cheap date :rolleyes:

2) My name comes from when I first started out in Ds, I was too shy to say what I wanted/needed to have or try.
It was a time when wanted to be (and was for a while), a slave.

The name no longer 'fits,' but it is my name and I don't want to change it.

3) I cooked a proper for the first time in three years this year.

I am not a fan of cooking, but find myself looking at recipes online and figuring out to cook all kinds of food now.
 
Damn, that is scary! I hope they get the meds regulated so that you don't have to keep going through this.

You might enjoy the babies kicking you when they keep you up at night....;)

I'm sure I'll enjoy anything the babies do, right now, mainly because since they're not born yet, they're not crying or pooping. I feel they at least need a little positive feedback for that ;)

As for the flashbacks, yeah, it's scary. And it's just a matter of figuring out what medications will work, but until I do I'm in a bit of a weird position. I know I've got a couple ot triggers that can get pulled, and when they are I'm completely gone, but the worst are the ones that just happen without any trigger that I can see. Like, when I'm out in public. On the bus, or something.

However, I don't mean to be a downer about all this, since I know it's only a matter of time before it's resolved, and I've got a craptonne of great stuff in my life to balance it out. :D
 
I'm sure I'll enjoy anything the babies do, right now, mainly because since they're not born yet, they're not crying or pooping. I feel they at least need a little positive feedback for that ;)

As for the flashbacks, yeah, it's scary. And it's just a matter of figuring out what medications will work, but until I do I'm in a bit of a weird position. I know I've got a couple ot triggers that can get pulled, and when they are I'm completely gone, but the worst are the ones that just happen without any trigger that I can see. Like, when I'm out in public. On the bus, or something.

However, I don't mean to be a downer about all this, since I know it's only a matter of time before it's resolved, and I've got a craptonne of great stuff in my life to balance it out. :D

Oh you are going to be such a good daddy! :D

You are NOT a downer! I actually admire the way you are handling it and your humor about it. I am a firm believer that it helps when you talk about it (have a family member with bipolar), so do not feel that you are being a downer! Kudos to you for the way you are dealing with this!
 
Oh you are going to be such a good daddy! :D

You are NOT a downer! I actually admire the way you are handling it and your humor about it. I am a firm believer that it helps when you talk about it (have a family member with bipolar), so do not feel that you are being a downer! Kudos to you for the way you are dealing with this!

Thanks, Tareva, that's really cool of you to say! The way I figure it, I've got two choices: I can either remember all the good things happening to me and remain positive (the course my wife is forcing me down by teasing me mercilessly about all this :) ) or I can wallow. It certainly helps that everywhere I turn there are people who'll offer up a little positivity, or a joke, or even some advice to help me along. The world's got some great people in it. :)

As for being a good dad, I'm already trying my hardest. These last few months I've gone from carefree twentysomething slacker to a married man with a house and a relatively stable job. Beyond all that, it's hard not to be a doting papa when your daughters are developing into the cutest, best little girls ever! :D
 
Thanks, Tareva, that's really cool of you to say! The way I figure it, I've got two choices: I can either remember all the good things happening to me and remain positive (the course my wife is forcing me down by teasing me mercilessly about all this :) ) or I can wallow. It certainly helps that everywhere I turn there are people who'll offer up a little positivity, or a joke, or even some advice to help me along. The world's got some great people in it. :)

As for being a good dad, I'm already trying my hardest. These last few months I've gone from carefree twentysomething slacker to a married man with a house and a relatively stable job. Beyond all that, it's hard not to be a doting papa when your daughters are developing into the cutest, best little girls ever! :D

You are very welcome. That is great that your wife teases you. Laughter is the best medicine. :D Well you sure as hell have had a lot of changes this year. You will forever remember 2011 as a fantastic year!
 
I write erotic fiction in my spare time. A few months back, I stopped writing erotica and turned to mainstream. It didn't last. I returned to erotica. I'm an erotica slut!
 
I write erotic fiction in my spare time. A few months back, I stopped writing erotica and turned to mainstream. It didn't last. I returned to erotica. I'm an erotica slut!


Oooh me tooooo, I write Gay erotica, mostly fanfiction, but I dont hold back and have written quite alot.

I have done some stuff that isnt fan fiction too, but I've only ever email that to people, I havent posted it anywhere.


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I have an unusual quirk I collect nail polish. At any given time I have over 500 colours stored in their own little refrigerator.maybe not so unusual since I'm an artist and sometimes I like to treat even my fingernails like canvas. My friends used to say that I would paint on anything and if you stood still long enough I would paint you too. I have since discovered that I can actually paint a person while they're moving so long as they don't move too fast.lol:D
 
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I have so much love to give and never can figure out how to do it right. I'm also crazy about sex.
 
I bought a condo today. Very happy. =) I get to move in on the 15th. So happy.
 
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