Tell me something...

[Lorali82]

I would hope so. I don't want kids and I think the majority of people who have them probably should have them taken away, but I also believe that once you have kids you should do whatever it takes to stay a couple. Even if it means living a lie for the rest of your life. Once you have kids your life is no longer yours, it's theirs.

Are they allowed to divorce when the kids grow up?

Actually, speaking of this monogamy thing, one of the psychology classes I had in college pretty much convinced me that the only true uncompromising love a person can experience is with someone who shares his or her genetic material. Anything else is an evolutionary tactic to bond mates together in order to pool their resources and best benefit their offspring.

Sometimes I wish I had taken Linear Algebra instead...

 

[Ekserb]

Are they allowed to divorce when the kids grow up?

Actually, speaking of this monogamy thing, one of the psychology classes I had in college pretty much convinced me that the only true uncompromising love a person can experience is with someone who shares his or her genetic material. Anything else is an evolutionary tactic to bond mates together in order to pool their resources and best benefit their offspring.

Sometimes I wish I had taken Linear Algebra instead...

Once the kids are grown and living on their own, I'd think it's okay for the parents to do whatever they want. The problem is, people are having children later in life so by the time the kids are moved out these parents are likely in their late fifties or older.

I think some of these people might have started out thinking they didn't want children at all, but then they got older and maybe the wife heard a clock ticking or the husband suddenly realized he's mortal, so they decided they did want kids after all and then start a family in their late thirties. So, now that they're older it's even harder for her to get pregnant and they end up getting expensive fertility treatments and all kinds of pre-natal care ... ugh, it's all too much.

I made up my mind long ago and since it was the reason my ex and I ended our relationship I am pretty sure that nothing will make me change my mind. Trouble is, while some of you women say you don't want kids, there is a big chance that you will hear that same biological clock a' tickin' away and change your mind a few years down the road. The possibility of that happening to me again is why I also feel the way I do about monogamy.

I'd be happy to spend my life with one person if I found someone with whom I wanted to do that, but I'm not going to say that I'm only looking for that kind of relationship. Maybe I'll never meet her, and that's fine. Maybe I'll be a bachelor forever, and that's fine, too. It's more likely that I'll meet a few very nice women and eventually part as friends after a few really good years together.

My brother has asked what I will do when I'm old and need someone to take care of me. Is that what kids are for? To act as a nurse for me when I'm too old to find the bathroom on my own? Fuck that. I wouldn't want to put someone else through that. I hope to die in my sleep after a good life or die quickly and painlessly in some horrific but enviably heroic disaster. If I end up as one of those guys who putters around the house in an electric wheelchair being spoon-fed by a monkey, there had better be only one trick that monkey knows how to do, and that's pull a trigger.

Do my rants always go off on such tangents?

 

[SamanthaSub]

I also believe that once you have kids you should do whatever it takes to stay a couple. Even if it means living a lie for the rest of your life..

Fuck that nonsense.

So what you're saying is that a woman should stay and do whatever it takes to stay a couple. Even if her husband enjoys beating on her, as well as mentally abusing her. *hmm* yeah, I should have stayed with him because I was pregnant. . . and living a lie *that he didn't beat on me*

Pahhlease, I couldn't get out of that one quick enough.

 

[monique1971]

I made up my mind long ago and since it was the reason my ex and I ended our relationship I am pretty sure that nothing will make me change my mind. Trouble is, while some of you women say you don't want kids, there is a big chance that you will hear that same biological clock a' tickin' away and change your mind a few years down the road. The possibility of that happening to me again is why I also feel the way I do about monogamy.

True, some women do say that they don't want kids and then change their mine. And some women say that they don't want kids, but they're lying.

However, I really don't want kids and have thought it over with the greatest care. So it enrages me when someone (my parents, a friend -- I don't mean Ekserb since he wasn't addressing me or referring to me, but rather speaking in the abstract) tell me, "Oh, you'll change your mind when that biological clock starts ticking." I'm 35 and I haven't heard it tick yet. If it starts ticking in the next few years, I'll confront the fact that it's too damn late and I'll live with the consequences of the choices I've made. Moreover, biology or no, I know what I want. My body might say one thing but my will and my mind will say another.

It's aggravating to be told you don't know your own mind. I do.

 

[bluebell]

"Normal is just a setting on your dryer"

I recently came very close to working in an elementary school full-time (which is odd because I've always labeled myself as not being a "kid person") and I have to say that it wiped out nearly every last vestige of the already small desire I had to have a child. Not that the kids were monsters or anything, but just looking around- it scared me that someone (me) could be so heavily responsible for the outcome of another human life.
They need so much, and sometimes I feel like keeping myself alive and afloat is so much effort that I might have nothing left to give. Or add a partner to the equation, and you still get a long list of things that need life/relationship maintenance. Of course it depends on the people and their age and what they want.

Funny, though- I almost feel bad for saying these things, being a woman, and for some reason I feel this silent stigma attached to women who don't feel that they'd like children. There's so many things wrong with that judgment to begin with, but maybe it's just me scolding myself on behalf of others, even though that's utter rubbish.

That sounds weird, but maybe you guys know what I mean...

 

[Lorali82]

I recently came very close to working in an elementary school full-time (which is odd because I've always labeled myself as not being a "kid person") and I have to say that it wiped out nearly every last vestige of the already small desire I had to have a child. Not that the kids were monsters or anything, but just looking around- it scared me that someone (me) could be so heavily responsible for the outcome of another human life.
They need so much, and sometimes I feel like keeping myself alive and afloat is so much effort that I might have nothing left to give. Or add a partner to the equation, and you still get a long list of things that need life/relationship maintenance. Of course it depends on the people and their age and what they want.

Funny, though- I almost feel bad for saying these things, being a woman, and for some reason I feel this silent stigma attached to women who don't feel that they'd like children. There's so many things wrong with that judgment to begin with, but maybe it's just me scolding myself on behalf of others, even though that's utter rubbish.

That sounds weird, but maybe you guys know what I mean...

I think I know exactly what you mean. Being open about not wanting children is something I don't do often. When I do say it, it's often met with "Oh, you're still young, you'll change your mind." Like, clearly I just haven't tapped into the maternal nurturing side of myself inherent to all women

I used to work in a daycare and the experience really left me with the strong desire to get my tubes tied.

 

[DaddysAngel23]

Fuck that nonsense.

So what you're saying is that a woman should stay and do whatever it takes to stay a couple. Even if her husband enjoys beating on her, as well as mentally abusing her. *hmm* yeah, I should have stayed with him because I was pregnant. . . and living a lie *that he didn't beat on me*

Pahhlease, I couldn't get out of that one quick enough.

Thank you Thank you thank you.

Saved me the trouble of saying the same thing.


If you've never been in that type of relationship then you don't know what the hell you are saying.

Let your three year old slap you and call you a bitch because he see's Daddy do it. Yeah it was better for my son to grow up watching that....


BULL SHIT!!!!!

 

[DaddysAngel23]

Not wanting kids

I know where you are both coming from, my own child hood sucked enough that I didn't want to repeat it.

While I would never say anything as assinine as you will get older and want them, I would like to tell blue bell: Sometimes when everything is too much, a mother can find herself fighting harder to keep it together for the child. I'm not saying we should go have children if we feel hopeless, all I mean is many times there are blessings that you didn't even imagine.

 

[Ekserb]

Fuck that nonsense.

So what you're saying is that a woman should stay and do whatever it takes to stay a couple. Even if her husband enjoys beating on her, as well as mentally abusing her. *hmm* yeah, I should have stayed with him because I was pregnant. . . and living a lie *that he didn't beat on me*

Pahhlease, I couldn't get out of that one quick enough.

When I said "living a lie," I was obviously talking about staying with someone that you might not love anymore. With the divorce rate as high as it is, we all know that not everyone is separating due to spousal abuse - most are calling it quits simply because they got married before thinking things all the way through, or because they just stopped being in love. The trouble is, we're all so used to the idea that a marriage is nothing more than a casual agreement that no one stops to think what will happen to the kids if they get a divorce. "Oh, well. We're not in love anymore. Let's get a divorce. The kids will be okay with that, right?"

Look, I think marriage and kids are both bad ideas ... unless you really, really want them. Even my mother told me that having children is the most selfish thing you can do if you love children.

"What the fuck?!?" I hear you scream. Think about it. If you truly loved children and wanted to make a difference in a child's life, you'd adopt one and raise it lovingly and teach it how to be a good human being. That's if you really love children. If you love the idea of raising a child of your own, that's has nothing to do with the child and everything to do with your desire to raise a kid. It's about you. If you want a kid to carry on the family name, that has nothing to do with altruism and everything to do with your egotistical vision of your future. It's about you. If you want to raise a child of your own and not adopt, its about your desires, not a child's. Once again, it's about you. Maybe you're afraid that you'll adopt a kid and it will turn out to be the devil's spawn. Well, birthing one of your own could end up the same way, but the idea that you don't want to adopt because you might get a bad apple is again, all about you. (At least if you adopt a kid you know it has all its arms and legs and doesn't have an eye in the middle of its forehead. There's always a chance that some new drug your baby doctor prescribed causes some unknown birth defect and the kid pops out with a fist growing from the side of its head. Now you're stuck with unimaginable health care costs for the rest of its life. Mmmm, fun.)

It's tough to describe this theory in writing, but I firmly believe it and I share it with anyone who is thinking of having a kid of their own. Of course, the usual response is, "Well, I don't care what you say, I'm going to have one, so there." Well, I tried to help.

(By the way, I'm also an atheist, so I can say this stuff and know I'm not going to hell.)

 

[Ekserb]

I recently came very close to working in an elementary school full-time (which is odd because I've always labeled myself as not being a "kid person") and I have to say that it wiped out nearly every last vestige of the already small desire I had to have a child. Not that the kids were monsters or anything, but just looking around- it scared me that someone (me) could be so heavily responsible for the outcome of another human life.
They need so much, and sometimes I feel like keeping myself alive and afloat is so much effort that I might have nothing left to give. Or add a partner to the equation, and you still get a long list of things that need life/relationship maintenance. Of course it depends on the people and their age and what they want.

Funny, though- I almost feel bad for saying these things, being a woman, and for some reason I feel this silent stigma attached to women who don't feel that they'd like children. There's so many things wrong with that judgment to begin with, but maybe it's just me scolding myself on behalf of others, even though that's utter rubbish.

That sounds weird, but maybe you guys know what I mean...

LOL ... one of the women I dated a while back is a grade school teacher and she also does not want kids. She thought she might want them in the future, but that was before she started working closely with them. Now she wants nothing to do with the idea. "Fucking little shits!" was her phrase, I think.

 

[Ekserb]

Fuck that nonsense.

So what you're saying is that a woman should stay and do whatever it takes to stay a couple. Even if her husband enjoys beating on her, as well as mentally abusing her. *hmm* yeah, I should have stayed with him because I was pregnant. . . and living a lie *that he didn't beat on me*

Pahhlease, I couldn't get out of that one quick enough.

Wait a sec. So, why did you marry him?

 

[SamanthaSub]

Wait a sec. So, why did you marry him?

He only got physical after we said, "I do."



And the responses about working at schools and not wanting kids made me chuckle. Working at an elementary school didn't have that affect on me. It made me not want to be a teacher! I can handle one child; mine. Not 30 others that enjoy eating boogers and pissing in their pants.

 

[Lorali82]

He only got physical after we said, "I do."



And the responses about working at schools and not wanting kids made me chuckle. Working at an elementary school didn't have that affect on me. It made me not want to be a teacher! I can handle one child; mine. Not 30 others that enjoy eating boogers and pissing in their pants.

I hear it's different with your own.

At least that's what I keep getting told when I explain why I do not children.

As if the world isn't overpopulated enough as it is...

How do you guys feel about eugenics? I'm on the fence with this one...

 

[Ekserb]

I hear it's different with your own.

At least that's what I keep getting told when I explain why I do not children.

As if the world isn't overpopulated enough as it is...

How do you guys feel about eugenics? I'm on the fence with this one...

Yeah, my ex tried to get me with that one, too: "It will be different with our own children. You'll love 'em, I know you will!" Well, of course I'd love 'em, but that's not the point. I don't want to have them to begin with. The more I hear people say, "You need to have these. They're great!" the less I want anything to do with them, including being around my brother and my new niece.

I've never really given this eugenics thing much thought. At least, I hadn't until you mentioned it and I did a little internet research and found that I've been advocating it for years. LOL.

The way we're headed, now, the human race is doomed. Not for a long time, but doomed nonetheless. The way I see it, modern medicine is allowing doctors to save way too many people who would normally die of infection or birth defects or just plain stupidity (driving without a seat belt, for example). In the past these people wouldn't grow up to reproduce and their bad genes would be removed from the gene pool upon their death. But now that they are living and having children, we have genetic anomalies that are simply multiplied every time one of these people has a couple of kids. And then those kids grow up to have more kids, and so on.

Over time, the world's population eventually grows weaker instead of stronger. The doctors continue to find new ways to keep people alive and viable, and the situation gets worse. It's the opposite of Natural Selection. One day the doctors will reach a scientific dead end and find that they are able to save every single life and no one dies from anything but old age, and then we'll really be in a pickle. Not only will the world population increase ever faster, but the people in it will be ever dumber, weaker, slower, and less able to fight disease without drugs or medical treatment.

This won't be in our lifetimes or your childrens' (that's a collective "your", Lorali), but I do think that there will be calls for some kind of societal implementations that will weed out the weaklings, and these calls will be rejected as Nazi-like and Machiavellian.

It will all be sorted out eventually when the big meteor hits and molten chunks of the earth's crust rain down from the sky all over the world. Then we'll see who the strongest ones are and those few hundred people will repopulate and start over.

I just hope they're all Atheists.

(Wow, this thread certainly has taken a strange turn, hasn't it?)

 

[ShinigamiSama]

I'm actualy agreeing on some your points there mate
atleast untill collective stuburnness kicks in

but I dont think it'll the stones falling from the sky

it will be more of a stones jutting from the earth
and 100metre waves

and I give it 40 more years unless something happens about the juan de fuca fualt line
AKA just a few klicks west

 

[bluebell]

Get the kid

My laughing continues (in a good way)....boogers?...piss?...tubes tied?
Hilarious.
You guys are great.

And I can understand about what your mother said, Ekserb. Never thought about it that way, but it's kind of nice to hear what other people say on the subject and that it's an entirely new way of viewing it (to me, anyway).

Angel, I know what you mean. And I think that if I had to pull it together for a kid, I really would. It's just a teensy weensy bit fun to think of the whole thing as inconvenient, crazy and about a hundred other words like that.

It also frustrates me when people go out of their way to bitch and moan about the injustice of other people getting married and popping out babies, and then when the opportunity comes to them they snap it up like a half-price Kate Spade purse (a metaphor borrowed from Gilmore Girls ).

There's actually a book called I Hate Other People's Kids by Adrianne Frost. It's pretty funny, but I think we all could have done a better job writing it.

I guess the long and the short of it for me is that if the kid and I are not genetically related, I'm probably just going to look at it like a reproductive nightmare...

 

[desired_tempest]

im moving away from the children issue and staying together stuff...

i get no pleasure from being eaten out...

 

[seth6138]

i was totally ready for a relationship with this one guy...but he ran away...hes an idiot

Based off of your posts and pics...Id say he was an idiot too...

I wish I could quit these dam cigarettes!

 

[monique1971]

Y'all lost me when this turned into the pro-eugenics thread. Get a grip, people.

Anyone who is interested in the history of this supposed "rational solution" to humanity's problems should read Daniel Kevles, _In the Name of Eugenics_.

 

[Damariscotta]

i get no pleasure from being eaten out...

Interesting. I get almost no pleasure from receiving head either. Quite the pity.

 

[Ekserb]

If you've never been in that type of relationship then you don't know what the hell you are saying.

Let your three year old slap you and call you a bitch because he see's Daddy do it. Yeah it was better for my son to grow up watching that....

This reminds me of a great Dave Attell joke:

"The other night I met a girl with a black eye and I thought, 'Oh, great. Here's a girl that doesn't listen.'"

 

[DaddysAngel23]

This reminds me of a great Dave Attell joke:

"The other night I met a girl with a black eye and I thought, 'Oh, great. Here's a girl that doesn't listen.'"

Fuck you, you son of a bitch.

I have no doubt that would be your reaction, and most likely your doing from the way you talk to women.

Before you just a slightly amusing pain in the ass, but now you have revealed yourself for the low-life scum you are.


A REAL man doesn't have to hit his wife.

 

[Ekserb]

Fuck you, you son of a bitch.

I have no doubt that would be your reaction, and most likely your doing from the way you talk to women.

Before you just a slightly amusing pain in the ass, but now you have revealed yourself for the low-life scum you are.


A REAL man doesn't have to hit his wife.

Maybe you didn't see the part where I said I was reminded of a joke. (I still thinks it's funny.)

FOR THE AUDIENCE: This argument continues in PMs. It's so fucking painful to try to have a written conversation with someone who types the way you see in the previous post. American public education is totally broken.

 

[desired_tempest]

Interesting. I get almost no pleasure from receiving head either. Quite the pity.

i love giving head...

 

[Shamrock Stone]

i love giving head...

See, that there is the kind of comment that should be in this thread.

Now, whereabouts are you again d_t?