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Tell a Joke

If I had a desk like this, I would put stuff away and never find it again!!!!

Anyone who appreciates desks, wood working or priceless antiques must watch this video, only takes two minutes, (except if you watch it twice or three times.)
Subject: Fwd: Amazing Antique Desk from Germany WOW WOW WOW BREATHTAKING




And to think the guy who made this over two hundred years ago did it with hand tools alone…


Bang it hereà
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MKikHxKeodA
 
5 More Polish Jokes

Q: Why did the Polak cross the road?
A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.

Q: Why are there no Polish doctors?
A: Because you can't write prescriptions with spray paint.

Q: How does every Polish joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: Whats the difference between a smart Polak and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters

Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Polish beauty contest?
A: Me neither.
 
Afghanistan diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being
wined and dined by the State Department.

The diplomat was not used to the salt in American foods (French fries,
cheeses, salami, anchovies, etc.) and was constantly sending his
manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.

Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of
water, but then came the time when he returned empty handed.

"Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the diplomat.

"A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul.
"But a man is sitting on the well!"
 
A little girl ran to her grandfather,
jumped into his arms and gave him a great big hug.
Then she ran her fingers along his balding head and
down the side of his wrinkled face.
"Did God make you Grandad?" she asked.
"Yes, honey He made me."
She felt her own cheek and then asked,
"Did God make me too?"
"Yes, honey He made you too."
"Well", she shrugged,
"Don't you think,
He' doing a better job then He used too?"
 
Drive By



A guy broke into my apartment last week.

He didn’t take my TV, just the remote.

Now he drives by and changes the channels.

Sick Bastard!!
 
Great photography! Just click the blue Osprey link and marvel.


This is truly an incredible video. Hard to believe this Osprey got 5-6 fish at a
time and then got a flounder under 3 feet of water and made off with
what looks to be a 5+ lbs. steelhead.

Have you ever seen a bird shake water off like a dog does?!!!

Wouldn't want to get in its way when its eyes are locked onto you and his
talons in the "load" position! Its talons are amazing!

There are 3 sequences in this one video:
1st sequence - catches half a dozen fish in one strike.
2nd sequence - plunges talons into deep water to grab the prey.
3rd sequence - captures a big old fish that looks as if it weighs more than he does!
This is incredible to watch!

CLICK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nA3LtXnNIto
 
Sex Research (could be handy)

If sex with 3 people is called a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome, now I understand why they call you handsome!
 
Burn Calories-

Lying down: 90

Standing up: 492

Doggie style: 326

2nd round: 824

Dressing up after sex while spouse knocks at d door: 5000 :D
 
Still More Polish Jokes

Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
A: Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin.

Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
A: Turn off the carousel.

Q: What does a polish girl do after she sucks cock?
A: Spits out the feathers.
 
Dear John Letter;

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years &I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. …Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today &that was the last straw. Last week,you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut,had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes,&went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore;you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband &wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore;whatever the case,I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER &I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you &I have been married for 7 years,although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining &griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week,but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice,I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal,you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER,because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers:I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them,&I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this,I still loved you &felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars,I quit my job &bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason,I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Your Ex-Wife,Rich As Hell &Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this,but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem…
 
Still More Polish Jokes

Q: How do you know if your in front of a Polish firing squad?
A: They are standing in a circle.

Q: What do you do if a Polak throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.

Q: What do you do if a Polak throws a hand-grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and throw it back.

Q: How do you know if a Polak has been using a computer?
A: There's whiteout on the screen.

Q: How do you take census in a Polish village?
A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and subtract one for the Jew who catches it.
 
What's a pirate's favorite letter?

You would think it be "arrrr", but nay. His first love be the C.
 
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