LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Tell a Joke

During her physical examination, a doctor asked KRCummings about her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week in the outdoors.

"Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a piss behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull Elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine.

Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one heck of an outdoor woman!"

"No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really, really crappy golfer".
 
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting

senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.' 'That's not

senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'
 
A black kid asks his mother,

"Mama, what's a Democracy?"


"Well, son, that's when white folks work every day so we can get all our benefits,

You knows like free cell phones, rent subsidy, food stamps, and free healthcare, utility subsidy, the list goes on and on, you knows".


"But mama, don't the white people get pissed off about that?"


"Sure they do, that's called racism!"
 
Electric Cars No Greener than Gasoline Vehicles

BERKELEY, Calif., July 1 (UPI) -- Electric cars, despite their supposed green credentials, are among the environmentally dirtiest transportation options, a U.S. researcher suggests.
Writing in the journal IEEE Spectrum, researcher Ozzie Zehner says electric cars lead to hidden environmental and health damages and are likely more harmful than gasoline cars and other transportation options.

Electric cars merely shift negative impacts from one place to another, he wrote, and "most electric-car assessments analyze only the charging of the car. This is an important factor indeed. But a more rigorous analysis would consider the environmental impacts over the vehicle's entire life cycle, from its construction through its operation and on to its eventual retirement at the junkyard."

Political priorities and corporate influence have created a flawed impression that electric cars significantly reduce transportation impacts, he said.

"Upon closer consideration, moving from petroleum-fueled vehicles to electric cars starts to appear tantamount to shifting from one brand of cigarettes to another," Zehner, a visiting scholar at the University of California, Berkeley, said.

Zehner, once an electric car enthusiast who has since changed his position and become an activist looking at a number of so-called green initiatives, is the author of the book "Green Illusions."

hehehehe
 
A Mexican, a Black, a Muslim and a Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.


"I can only grant four wishes," the Genie said. "Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece." Pointing at the Black, he said, "Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish."


The Black thought for a moment then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa ." Poof! It was done! Thousands of ships appeared on the skyline.


The Mexican said, "I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my peoples back to our homeland, May-he-co!" Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet pickups appeared on the beach.


The Muslim said, "I wish for a hundred thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah." Poof! It was done! A hundred thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.

Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish?"


The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off.

The Redneck said, "Just give me a Bud Lite. It doesn't get any better than this!"
 
Tee Hee:D
BusyAfternoon said:
A Mexican, a Black, a Muslim and a Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.


"I can only grant four wishes," the Genie said. "Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece." Pointing at the Black, he said, "Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish."


The Black thought for a moment then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa ." Poof! It was done! Thousands of ships appeared on the skyline.


The Mexican said, "I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my peoples back to our homeland, May-he-co!" Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet pickups appeared on the beach.


The Muslim said, "I wish for a hundred thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah." Poof! It was done! A hundred thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.

Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish?"


The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off.

The Redneck said, "Just give me a Bud Lite. It doesn't get any better than this!"
Click to expand...
 
Remembering Father...

Letter between my Dad and I... first year of college.

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Ronnie

The Reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad
 
So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda ticked off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he were green like the other toads.

He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing. Anyway... this yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother.

He begs her, "Fairy godmother, please make me green like the other toads. I am tired of being so visible to predators and suchlike."

The fairy godmother whips out her magic wand and says, "Toadra-capokus! You're green!"

The toad looks down and sees that he is green except for his package, which is still yellow. He says to the fairy godmother, "Wait a minute! My package is still yellow!"

To this the fairy godmother replies, "I don't do Johnsons. You will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that."

The toad thanks her and hops off on his way.

There is a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he also encounters the very same fairy godmother. He implores her, "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like all the other bears. None of the lady bears want to be seen with me on account that the hunters can spot me from a mile off."

She, being a nice fairy godmother, takes out her magic wand and says, "Bearus-cadabra! You're brown!"

The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown with the exception of the ole twig and berries. They remain purple. He says, "My twanger is still purple!"

She says, "I don't do units, you will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that."

To this the bear replies, "Well that's just dandy, but how in the heck do I find The Wizard of Oz?"

The fairy godmother answers, "That's easy... just follow the yellow prick toad!"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

1
Testicles compared to what???
Replies
8
Views
505
Britva415
Britva415
cdstefi
Can you morally separate the art from the artist?
Replies
5
Views
128
Treeview
Treeview
R
Looking for a story
Replies
0
Views
79
Rocksolid0202
R
butters
the reason why US chocolate tastes like vomit to many europeans... blame Mr. Hershey
Replies
1
Views
83
butters
butters
S
CFNM - Yes or no.
2
Replies
27
Views
1K
Luvtoexplore
Luvtoexplore
Back
Top