Teach Your Children Well

[Dillinger]

This letter was in one of our local papers... I thought it worth posting here.
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Teach Children Respect, Kindness and Tolerance

"... we are all someone's valuable child."

One of this world's problems is that there are children who are not valued. They are mistreated and abused. These children, if they grow up with hatred and violence, and not love and caring, will turn their hurt inside out and lash out at the world.

The people who did this, whoever they are, were NOT taught as little children to be kind and tolerant and respectful. Stop and think. These terrorists were once newborn babies full of promise. What happened?

If we, in our hurt and anger, start lashing out at others who had nothing to do with this tradedy, well, we are really no better.

New York City and Washington, D.C., are so diverse, withresidents from all over the world, that most people in this world are probably not far removed from this tragedy.

There may be someone in this world in some isolated, far-off wilderness who has not been touched by this tragedy. But it would be hard to find them.

So far, there has not been a single person I have had contact with who has not been touched in some way.

Everyone is hurting. The world is watching. This is the time to show that we can be kind and tolerent and respectful. To each other.

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My comments:

We are better then hate. This letter is not intended to say that we shouldn't do whatever is necessary to protect ourselves, now and in the future. But protecting ourselves and eradicating terrorism and evil is not mutually exclusive with tolerance, kindness and respect. We will do what we must but we also need to put aside blind hatred... and we need to teach our children the values our country and family, our religions and spirituality, and that our hearts hold dear. All men... all people, are created equal. Do not let your children grow up with hatred and violence. That would be giving victory to those who wish us harm. Our children need love and caring.

Teach your children well.

 

[Starfish]

Teach Your Children
~ Crosby, Stills and Nash

You, who go along the road,
Must have a code that you can live by.
And so, become yourself,
Because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by.
And feed them on your dreams,
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by.
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by.
And feed them on your dreams,
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.

Can you hear me, do you care?
Do you see we must be free to
Teach your Children what you believe in
To make a world that we can live in?

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.......

 

[cymbidia]

(You probably won't read this whole thing but i had to post anyway cuz...)

... this is one of my hotspot issues.


One of the rock 'n roll icons of my generation was a group known by their last names: Crosby, Stills, and Nash. They were magic to hear and wrote some of the real "anthems" of that time.

Graham Nash wrote one of the songs that has most steadfastly endured. It is called Teach Your Children and the chorus is:

Teach your children well
their father's hell did slowly go by
and, feed them on your dreams
the one they pick the one you'll know by

Don't ever ask them why
if they tell you, you would cry
so just look at them and sigh
and know they love you.


Looking for profundity in rock 'n roll lyrics is often a fool's errand. On the other hand, no less an authority than Scientific American has agreed with Graham Nash - teach your children well.

In a Dec 1999 Scientific American article entitled "The Moral Development of Children." William Damon, Director of the Center on Adolescence at Stanford University, wrote:

"Everything that psychologists know from the study of children's moral development indicates that moral identity - the key source of moral commitment throughout life - is fostered by multiple social influences that guide a child in the same general direction. Children must hear the message enough for it to stick. The challenge for pluralistic societies will be to find enough common ground to communicate the shared standards that the young need."

What a basic concept! The tribe is responsible for the moral fiber of the next generation. Somehow we have lost our grip on this notion. In the competition for resources between teaching moral identity and punishing for the lack of it, the gold medal belongs to punishing.

America is not in the middle of a tide of violence. We are enmeshed in the grip of a bankrupt attitude toward young people. Perhaps the major reason for the disastrous triumph of punishment over education is the fragmentation of morality by tribe.

Studies done by Lawrence Walker of the University of British Columbia show that nurses hold a common sense of morality, scientists hold their view, homemakers have theirs, high school dropouts have a moral code and yes, even lawyers hold to a moral view of the world. The trouble is that these shared moral codes of various guilds are not universal codes. In fact there is precious little overlap among them.

Homemakers’ views of morality are vastly different than those of high school dropouts living in urban ghettos. Accountants think about this subject differently than scientists. Politicians regularly demonstrate that their understanding of morality is unlike that of their constituents. Until these distinct views of morality can be drawn closer together, it is likely that America will fall back on its tried and true behavior - punish thoroughly, educate minimally if at all.

All of this may reflect American values but does it reflect American intent? Despite our history of "lock ‘em up and throw away the key," do we really want to do that to our neighbor’s kid? Do we plan to lock up a double-digit percentage of successive generations of young people? It's madness.

I stand with Graham Nash. I think he got it right. "Teach your children well." It's cheaper, safer and more effective. Isn’t it time we stopped getting even and started getting ahead?

 

[Darowyn]

Graham Nash wrote another song too and this was actually about Muslim fundamentalists. I haven't heard it for over ten years but from memory it goes.

Oh Kamil.

Oh Kamil, tell me how do you feel
You stood up for country, for God and for war
Now your heart tells you that can't be real
Don't you tell me the story about making amends
For all of the hatred you feel
Can't you just hear the voice of the people who cry out
For God, not for country and war.

 

[Debbie]

Dillenger,
I stand and clap! This is a great thread. It is so important that we raise our children with love, morals, compassion, (so that they can understand the consequences if they do hurt someone, intentional or accidentally) responsiblity, boundaries, respect, boost their self esteem. There are probably a lot of important things also I haven't put here. So many of our children are growing up violent, not liking themselves or the world they live in.
I grew up in a very religious family and I learnt a lot from that but as an adult I realised I had no choices, they were all made for me. I had to go to church. My children have choices and can attend the church of their friends if they wish. They understand some people believe in God, others believe in different religions and some believe that God does not exist. It is thier choice.
I have also taught my children (they are both boys) that a better man (please don't flame me this is IMHO) will try to talk his way out of a confrontation, walk away from the anaganist or bully BUT if they follow you, let them land the first blow and warn them that you will defend yourself. Lots of people may think, "What a wimpy way to handle the situation" But I have found as a child growing up that those who do the bullying do it because they get something out of it, whether it be their 'mates' pathetic respect or it makes them feel like they are 'big'. My scenario won't always work but teaching my children to hit before they do makes them the aggressor.
I love my children and want them to grow up to be happy people who are proud of who they are and what they have achieved.

Teach your children well for they are the future teachers of the next generation

 

[MissTaken]

I have worked with those children who were not taught self respect or respect for others by their parents.
Many, if not all of them had been at the very least neglected by their caretakers. A large portion of these youth have been physically and sexually abused by their caretakes.

Then, as young teens, they are sent to my program and labeled "Juvenile Delinquents" or "just plain bad."

I am not suggesting that children and adults should not be held responsible for their actions. I am only suggesting that those actions can often be explained and it is our job to try to prevent the onset of delinquency and/or terrorism.

Now, if one of my "bad boys" caused harm to me or my family, yes, the penalities would be severe and appropriate to the action.

Nice thread Dillinger, and a topic that has long held my interest.

 

[Dillinger]

Thanks... I think this is crucially important.

And yes, I was thinking of Crosby, Stills and Nash as I wrote this.

 

[Debbie]

*bump*

 

[Dillinger]

*smile*

 

[Debbie]

*bump* again

 

[Dillinger]

Crosby, Stills and Nash were on Leno last night. While they didn't play "Teach Your Children" - they did play "Find The Cost of Freedom"

Daylight again, following me to bed
I think about a hundred years ago, how my fathers bled

I think I see a valley, covered with bones in blue
All the brave soldiers that cannot get older been askin' after you

Hear the past a callin', from Armegeddon's side
When everyone's talkin' and noone is listenin', how can we decide?

(Do we) find the cost of freedom, buried in the ground
Mother earth will swallow you, lay your body down

Find the cost of freedom, buried in the ground
Mother earth will swallow you, lay your body down