Switching??

[CBM514]

How many out there are also switches (between a dominant and submissive role). And how quickly does it happen? Does it happen for you during sex or do you maintain the "role" for a while it the whole session?

 

[LadyNeina]

Switching depends on my play partner. I was playing with a guy last year that I was able to flow between dom and sub even while in the middle of a session. One or the other of us would feel the need to switch and its was almost seamless.

On the other hand, I have a friend that I have played with on occasion who would love me to dom him but I can not. For whatever reason I can not be dominant towards him. This is frustrating for me since with most people I struggle to get into a submissive mindset.

I have found that most (not all) switches lean one direction or the other. I tend to be more dominant than submissive in most cases. Its almost like being ambidextrous. Some people can switch hands easily while others have to get settled in that hand for a bit before starting to write.

 

[CBM514]

Fair enough, that makes a lot of sense..wife and I both switch roles and the (usually!) align. I am a bit more adaptable overall and depending on her mood I can shift pretty easily...I asked the question though because last night we were both almost rapid switching during which surprised us both after...it was natural enough at the time but was new for us and I was just wondering if others had similar experiences or not...

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

My natural leaning is submissive and there is no way on earth I cold even begin to think of Topping a Dom, I could with another submissive. I have tried, but I prefer to maintain the submissive role. I guess its what works for me!

 

[CBM514]

I know what you mean...I prob lean more toward submissive tendencies but still have very strong dominant ones...it helps that the only time either of us express that is sexually...in the rest of our lives we are fully partners across the board

 

[Corbal]

I'm a switch and it solely depends on my mood. At times, I can be totally submissive and then an action, or something said during play can completely change my desire to be the dominant partner. With women in particular, I am almost never submissive; there is something in me that naturally flips my dominant switch on and that is typically unchanged during play.

 

[Kim_Burly]

I am a straight sub, but recently I've been having fantasies of dominating other women. I love seeing pictures and videos of women being whipped, flogged and humiliated and until now, I wished I was the woman being tortured. After seeing a woman (sub) humiliated at a party by her man, that's the first time I've seen someone else humiliated in person, I'm having a little trouble getting it out of my head.

It is really bad with my friend Laura, she tried pushing me around when she was drunk, and I'm still not over that. I get aroused when she is around and I just want to beat her up and ride her face. There is a definite sexual tension between us since the incident, but I'm sure she pictures herself dominating me. I think I'm getting to much testosterone hanging around Sir because I feel very aggressive around her. Sir says I can do what I want, as long as he is there. He has a very devious mind and wants to fix her wagon in a way that's way over the top.

I'm sorry for rambling, I feel better having gotten that off my chest. I know nothing will never happen, I wish Sir would just tell me to drop it instead of egging me on so I could get past this.

 

[knot_sweet]

I started out as submissive, went to service top, now I'm a switch.

Like a lot of people, it depends on the person I'm with.

One of my previous relationships was I was a submissive / service top. I have a friend who is only a dominant, another who is only a sub.

My recently ended and most successful relationship we both switched. Easily and without fuss, a lot of the time during play. We didn't do 'scenes' per se, it was just part of our sex life. I don't think I could function in a sexually exclusive relationship with someone unable to switch, or at least be willing to bottom or top for me.

I think that (and it might be just me) if a switch couple have good, open lines of communication, then the sexual roles tend to line up more often than not even without discussion. Maybe it's the non verbal body language you're both reading from each other. That theory doesn't just pertain to switches either.

Either way, enough of my rambling and congrats on what sounds like a great relationship. Makes me smile knowing there are people who are happy together.

 

[CBM514]

Thanks for the thoughts! Glad I'm not the only one like this!

 

[LucyH]

I can get in dom or sub moods that last months or years. I mean, not 100% of the time, but when I'm thinking about sex.

 

[Shankara20]

I'm a switch and it solely depends on my mood.

For me it is my mood and who the other player is. As a Bi-Switch I have a mix of who I would Top and who I would bottom to.

I have yet to flip during play. Once rolls are sorted out and things start I keep to the agreement until play is finished or is stopped with safeword.

 

[CBM514]

For me it is my mood and who the other player is. As a Bi-Switch I have a mix of who I would Top and who I would bottom to.

I have yet to flip during play. Once rolls are sorted out and things start I keep to the agreement until play is finished or is stopped with safeword.

Until that night we had both been the same way..could have been the rum I suppose? Lol

 

[Eager2TRYRU]

I'm a switch and it solely depends on my mood. At times, I can be totally submissive and then an action, or something said during play can completely change my desire to be the dominant partner. With women in particular, I am almost never submissive; there is something in me that naturally flips my dominant switch on and that is typically unchanged during play.

It depends on my mood as well but I have to admit after so many years of being dominant that the submissive side is much more fun to explore... many more limits being tested... good times.

 

[Netzach]

I ID as Dominant because it's just so much less strong an impulse in me, generally.

I'll try anything a few times. I've tried. I've done. It's OK. It's like eating octopus, it's tasty but it doesn't feel right and it's not THAT great. Why identify that way when only one person ever gets you where you want to go anyway, when it comes to that.

I could go the rest of my life without an outlet for my submissive impulses, but it's nice that I've got one person who draws them out and appreciates them. I don't know anyone else who both elicits the willingness and likes having it, it's always just one or the other - other than this person.

But nine times in ten, he'd rather be on his back for me, and that's golden.

How it comes about is very fluid and it's usually mid messing around in some way. I can always flip it back, I've noticed. No matter how sexy it is, ANY time I make any move to push the tides in my favor, that's how it goes.

I suppose that's why it's safe and cool for me to go there, I guess. I really have feelings of fundamental control over it, and that's why I'll get very service minded.

 

[ravenhair72]

Switching

My bf and i started out with him being dom. But now i enjoy being the dom one. Tho still like it once in awhile if he is. So switching is okay for us. I am comfortable with either dom or submissive role.

 

[welkin]

I switch between top and bottom with my boyfriend, but I don't think either of us is Dom/sub in the strictest sense...

 

[TheLM]

I do both, but not in a strict sense. I love to hold a woman down, but anal play and being held down feels good sometimes too, yaknow?

It is all about having fun and being open!

 

[Vulpesvulpes]

I always considered myself a "switch" because I have played and enjoyed both roles. I just read Stella's definitions (I've been away for a while) and I finally know what I am!

I'm a dominant who likes to switch between top and bottom roles. When I'm topping, I get off on the power and control. It's also why I like going down on a woman. (I love to make her squirm and see and hear her reactions.)

When I'm bottoming out, I like the physical sensations and I also like being "forced" to do things. What I'm being forced to do are only things that I would happily do anyway.

If my partner wanted to give me an enema and then "force" me to worship her ass, I'd be up for that. If she wanted to fist me, I'd be up for that too.

 

[Oubliette123]

Myself and my OH tried it (he is the dominant one)....it lasted literally 5 minutes. It just felt so wrong. When I am feeling cheeky I remind him that I was the mistress for 5 minutes....usually gets me a slap