suggestions, pretty please...

[Quoll]

Just a quick hello SKYE . You are doing great babe.

 

[JustSkye]

This was my first time reading this thread, and it came at a good time.

Since high school I've been dealing with severe depression and anxiety. I've been on meds a couple of times, but can't cope with the side effects. Much of the time I'm alright, but there are other periods when I just feel like I'm falling into a hole I'll never be able to climb back out of. This week has been one of those low points for me, and I'm just starting to make some decisions that should pull me out of it. At least, I'm already feeling a little better since I've made them. I'll share them, in case they could be of assistance to anyone else who might read this.

First, I intend to start going to Weight Watchers meetings. I've been on the program before and it worked wonders. The past few years, however, got a bit out of control and I didn't really care what I ate. I need to take back the reigns and start eating more normal, balanced meals again, and I think a structured program would help keep me accountable.

Secondly, I've started walking. Last night, I went outside and took a walk around my apartment building. Sure, it doesn't seem like much... but I had surgery in early November and was stuck at home for a long time. I sort of got stuck in the rut of being at home with nothing to do - I essentially just sit in front of my computer or lay on the couch and read all day long. I wasn't really in good shape beforehand...but multiply this by two months, and you have a body that can't even stand up without feeling pain and discomfort after only five minutes. I've made it my goal to take a short walk every evening, and I'll progressively make the walks longer and more frequent as I start to feel better. Hell, just one loop around the building made me feel a thousand times better - it gave me hope to think that I can fix this problem I created.

Talking truthfully is the third thing that I'm doing to help pull myself out of this hole that I've fallen into. For the past month or so, I've been lying. I would tell my husband I was feeling alright, when I don't think I've felt much worse in my life. Yesterday I just broke down and spilled it all to him. I told him of my fears of finding a job when I can't even walk a few yards without getting winded. Instead of being upset like I imagined he would be, he just told me that I didn't even have to think about a job until I got my fitness back under control. Just having him for support and knowing that he's going to help me through this gave me a huge confidence boost.

I apologize for the lengthy post - I guess I just needed to put this in writing. Hopefully someone can get something out of it... but, if not, thanks for letting me vent nonetheless.

I'm glad you came here. Come in anytime. To vent, cry, laugh, for anything.
I'm glad you're taking charge of things and you have someone there that loves and supports you. This is so very important.
Congratulations on taking the first steps!
If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM or come here and we'll surely come running.

 

[JustSkye]

I've suffered from serious depression since I was in my early teens when I lost someone close to me. It only started to get better when I started college. I'm pretty happy now but I still struggle sometimes. I've never take pills for it though there have been times when I should have.

Councelling helps and talking online. But its different for everyone. As long as you keep trying no matter what. The best thing for me was the changes of college. Moving away from home and all the bad memories. Starting a new life. Life is pretty good now. I hope other people can find a way though.

I think my moving was a step in the right direction as well. Starting a new life too. It's a struggle for sure, everyday for me. But we get through it.

I'm sending out HUGE kudos to Quoll for being such a wonderful wonderful friend and being there, always being there. He's made a difference when I have been down and no one was there.
He's a great husband to his wife and a good man. And to me a great friend. I am very lucky.

 

[JustSkye]

Re: Re: suggestions, pretty please...

GROUP SEX Works every time.

Not that I have tried it or anything ..


But I have heard that only works for a little while.

 

[JustSkye]

Just a quick hello SKYE . You are doing great babe.

Thanks all go to you, babe. For making a difference. You rock.

 

[Quoll]

Thanks all go to you, babe. For making a difference. You rock.

 

[Quoll]

{{{{{{SKYE}}}}}}

Remember your homework.

It is TRUE

 

[JustSkye]

{{{{{{SKYE}}}}}}

Remember your homework.

It is TRUE

yes, dear.

 

[Quoll]

I have checked your homework, well done 10/10

I`ll be looking for No:2 soon

 

[Quoll]

Skye, you are one determined woman.

Had a great speech all worked out, wrote the above sentence and thought, Yeah that`s it.

 

[JustSkye]

Skye, you are one determined woman.

Had a great speech all worked out, wrote the above sentence and thought, Yeah that`s it.

no speeches.. just you being you... that's the best

 

[Quoll]

Damn, now I am seriously impressed, you will beat this Hon.

 

[JustSkye]

Damn, now I am seriously impressed, you will beat this Hon.

We shall see. One day at a time. one step at a time.

You're helping me through this has made a big difference.

 

[JustSkye]

*sigh* .. welll fuck.

 

[Quoll]

*sigh* .. welll fuck.

 

[JustSkye]

I guess in all the progress I seemed to have made,I took several steps back.
I'm in one of those " i just don't feel like caring" moods. I don't have the energy to today. I want to, just can't.

And yes, you hit the nail on the head last night. I'm not sure why I do that, but ... I do. And I've done it again.

I know as I told you, it won't come to fruition... and I shouldn't have. I don't think I will again. But tonight, I just don't care.

 

[Quoll]

I guess in all the progress I seemed to have made,I took several steps back.
I'm in one of those " i just don't feel like caring" moods. I don't have the energy to today. I want to, just can't.

And yes, you hit the nail on the head last night. I'm not sure why I do that, but ... I do. And I've done it again.

I know as I told you, it won't come to fruition... and I shouldn't have. I don't think I will again. But tonight, I just don't care.

Do care Babe You are worth caring about.

Why do you do it? Because it`s safe Babe, because in the long term it can`t work and you can`t be hurt.

Hell I am sure sometimes I take six steps back for every one forward

 

[JustSkye]

Do care Babe You are worth caring about.

Why do you do it? Because it`s safe Babe, because in the long term it can`t work and you can`t be hurt.

Hell I am sure sometimes I take six steps back for every one forward

I can't be hurt? I get hurt every fucking time.
I'm glad you have been here and tried/have helped me. Made me realize lots of shit. I'm feeling sorry for myself and being bitchy tonight and it's no one's fault but mine. I'm just tired of everything. And you know what I'm talking about.

 

[Quoll]

I can't be hurt? I get hurt every fucking time. I'm feeling sorry for myself and being bitchy tonight

Of course it hurts, but I think you know what I mean.
Hmm can`t see anything in the rule book about not being bitchy anf feeling sorry for yourself.

 

[Quoll]

Skye.
In the last week you have faced so much pain, anger and heartache and I know you have come to see yourself in a different light. I know you are hurting so much, and I know at times I have been part of the problem, for this I am truly sorry.

To confront the things you have, cannot be done without great pain, I just hope that together we can work through this and come out on the other side.
I can`t say whether it will get better or worse before that happens, I just know that I am in awe of your strength and determination and your honesty towards yourself.
You truly have a kind and beautiful soul, please, look deep inside yourself and you will see this to be true.
To keep moving forward you must start to believe in yourself, look at what you have achieved, you are truly a good person Skye.

 

[plasticman33]

Skye, you know above all things how I feel about you. If I am a cause of any of your depression I would be devastated. You are a beautiful, sensitive, intelligent woman. I wish I had met you years ago. As things stand between us there is much confusion, I recognize that. It will be sorted out, believe me honey. I would never do anything to hurt you.

 

[Debbie]

I think that when you're feeling down things can seem so terrible.
And yet when your mood lightens you think, "Wow that wasn't as bad as I thought it was."

I also think that when you're feeling blue and things seem to have gone from rosy pink to pitch black then you feel so alone and empty. And come down so hard on yourself.

(A poem I wrote after a long episode of stress with my bi polar step daughter)

I get down down down
Till I hit rock bottom
I look like a clown
Can't seem to turn my frown
Upside down
Woe is me
I'm not happy
Till the clouds break
And the Sun shines through

I'm no longer blue
Won't you come play with me?
Giggling, so so high
I can fly
Giddy wih happy glee
Till I fall down again
Pick me up
Buttercup
And let's do it again


See the rainbow
Hear the birds
I'm absurd, lonely
So gloomy
Look a smile
That took awhile
I hate you
I love you
Don't leave me
I'm as happy as can be

By bi polar Betsy


Don't give up. Keep looking for the rainbows and hearing your loved one's laughter and love.

 

[JustSkye]

Thank you, Everyone. I have posted some of my troubles depression wise. But I won't post all. Nope, not here.

And Debbie, thank you for that. You're such a sweetheart.

 

[JustSkye]

you know...


I have learned the hard way who friends can be. A total stranger took me by the hand so to speak and walked me through such sad time. And friends that I worry about, care for, love, etc; can't ever be found.

And when no one else is ever around is the only time some of them come to me anymore. And it hurts. I deserve better.


I have been cutting loose those who are fairweather. It fucking hurts. And when I do, I feel guilty as hell. But do they feel guilty for treating others the way they do? Being a last minute replacement for someone else? Wanting to talk when ( god forbid ) they have absolutely nothing better do or better to speak to? I'm tired of it.

And god forbid someone feel sad or down... folks run for the fucking hills and don't want to be bothered.

For those of you who have gone through this or live with it everyday, I'm sorry. YOU deserve better.
Fuck'em all.

 

[Quoll]

you know...
I deserve better.

I knew that.

And now you do too.