Spring/Autumn relationships.

[Netzach]

This sounds like a you and you thing. It really doesn't matter what all of your liberal female internet friends think rolleyes: man I am so not a special snowflake!).



Really? I thought that was more acceptable in a "you go girl" kinda way.

screwing yes, but the minute it's serious people are weirded.

 

[WriterDom]

This sounds like a you and you thing. It really doesn't matter what all of your liberal female internet friends think rolleyes: man I am so not a special snowflake!).



Really? I thought that was more acceptable in a "you go girl" kinda way.

You more than most should know of my Jewish girl perversion.

 

[WriterDom]

so i suppose i am just way too old...

*pouts*

Location Location Location

You are my biggest fan of all time.

 

[katt_g]

Location Location Location

You are my biggest fan of all time.

*grins*
dang location...lol

but at least you didn't agree that i'm too old!

 

[intothewoods]

screwing yes, but the minute it's serious people are weirded.

There is a certain tendency to view the under 25 year old as a damsel in distress. I'm not interested in that.

 

[graceanne]

There is a certain tendency to view the under 25 year old as a damsel in distress. I'm not interested in that.

Probably because of the number of women who marry to get away from their families.

I did. My best friend did. It's one of the few obvious things we have in common (other than sharing a name).

 

[FurryFury]

When I was younger I went for older men.

A great many of my male friends, that are my age, ended up with women a decade or so younger than them. It's my opinion that they probably get treated better in general and have more assets available to them with an older man.

Men are more attracted on a deep lizard brain level to women who seem to be best able to reproduce.

Sex drive wise I think it works better the other way around though.

 

[katt_g]

When I was younger I went for older men.

A great many of my male friends, that are my age, ended up with women a decade or so younger than them. It's my opinion that they probably get treated better in general and have more assets available to them with an older man.

Men are more attracted on a deep lizard brain level to women who seem to be best able to reproduce.

Sex drive wise I think it works better the other way around though.

i found after i turned 40 that a great many men quite younger were interested. i think that is a tribute to the sex drive part.

 

[Netzach]

There is a certain tendency to view the under 25 year old as a damsel in distress. I'm not interested in that.

Oh I was talking about the older woman thing in that case. People are really upset by this.

 

[JMohegan]

Oh I was talking about the older woman thing in that case. People are really upset by this.

I blame the stereotypes put forth on this thread.

Most notably: For any given age, women are supposed to be more mature than men, so what on earth's going on if he's actually younger than her? And: Men are supposed to be attracted to younger meat, so what's wrong with this guy, huh?

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm used to cultural differences. Most of my lovers have been younger. 35 is young to me. Most really intelligent girls seem to have a air of maturity about them. I couldn't be with a blonde bimbo type.

Wahoo! I'm officially almost young!

Interestingly, there is a formula on age difference. Take your age, divide by two, and add seven. This came up in France during and after the Napoleonic wars. So many men were killed or maimed that there was a large surplus of young women, and a strident need to repopulate France. So this formula was arrived upon and became the societal guide for cultural acceptability. It was also intended, from what I recall, to prevent what we would consider as paedophilic pairings with underage girls. Older men and women of age weren't looked down upon in the same manner.

Wahoo! No. 2 -

I'm officially not too young, based on the above formula.

And my advice to you was very practical. In general, I wouldn't recommend settling down with a woman that young, because generally speaking that person will change a lot between 20 and 25, and probably isn't in a position to choose a life partner at that time. And yes, plenty of 26, 27, 35, and 40 year olds are also not mature enough to make such a choice. But generally speaking, a larger percentage of under 25s are age-appropriately immature and not ready to, say, get married.

Yes to this.

I got married at 20. the amount I changed between 20 and 25, doubled between 25 and 30. I will duct tape my children to something heavy and lock them away in a dungeon if they even think of doing something that stupid.

Men are more attracted on a deep lizard brain level to women who seem to be best able to reproduce.

Whee.

(Said sincerely, as a woman who is ungodly fertile. )

i found after i turned 40 that a great many men quite younger were interested. i think that is a tribute to the sex drive part.

The closer I get to 40, the more this happens... a couple of months ago a guy asked me if I liked older men, men my age, or younger men. I said older by 10 - 20 years. He asked what was the youngest age was I'd date... I said 10 - 20 years. LOL He was 10 years younger; I don't think he appreciated my answer very much.

 

[katt_g]

The closer I get to 40, the more this happens... a couple of months ago a guy asked me if I liked older men, men my age, or younger men. I said older by 10 - 20 years. He asked what was the youngest age was I'd date... I said 10 - 20 years. LOL He was 10 years younger; I don't think he appreciated my answer very much.

ROFL!

give me an older man any time!

 

[rida]

Hubby is 12 years older than me (we still fit the French rule of thumb when we met).

But beside Hubby, I tend to like men that are younger than me.
Actually what I have discovered is that I like men in that age when they are going from being big boys to grown men, and for most that age is around their mid 30s

(I can see myself in my older days dating men much younger ... hehe )


As for the OP question: nothing wrong, as far as the two persons involved are on the same page when it comes to the things that matter in their relationship.

And I think that one of the reason it gets frowned upon, is because it makes the older women feel bad about her age and so by putting down the man they can also feel a bit superior and better.
(DISCLAIMER: it is not always the case as there are women that have no problem with their age and are seriously concerned about the longevity of the relationship, especially when it involves a friend and a 20something babe).

 

[rida]

The closer I get to 40, the more this happens... a couple of months ago a guy asked me if I liked older men, men my age, or younger men. I said older by 10 - 20 years. He asked what was the youngest age was I'd date... I said 10 - 20 years. LOL He was 10 years younger; I don't think he appreciated my answer very much.

ROFL!

give me an older man any time!

Pass the young ones my way

 

[midwestyankee]

Wahoo! I'm officially almost young!





Wahoo! No. 2 -

I'm officially not too young, based on the above formula.

According to the formula presented earlier, you are precisely the right age for yours truly. Perfectly young, in other words.

 

[YourCaptor]

by that definition, i am not an adult and never will be. of course in my case, experience as an "independent adult" would have greatly inhibited my potential to be the slave that i am now.

Kids say the darndest things.

Nice seeing you again OSG, I've been missing your perspective.

 

[WriterDom]

age is just a number




not really though. Not with teachers fucking underage students. And a sting operation pulling in 100 guys willing to fuck a 14 year old girl.

 

[CutieMouse]

According to the formula presented earlier, you are precisely the right age for yours truly. Perfectly young, in other words.

Flatterer.



As to the whole "older woman/younger man" thing, I think some of it comes back to power games. Society is supposed to value youth, beauty, blahblahblah in women... once you reach a certain point, in theory, you're put out to pasture/traded in for the hot young thing. Younger men who go after Cougars (Gads I hate that term) buck the trend, as do the women they chase... which makes people uncomfortable, because it challenges the status quo.

 

[JMohegan]

I got married at 20. the amount I changed between 20 and 25, doubled between 25 and 30. I will duct tape my children to something heavy and lock them away in a dungeon if they even think of doing something that stupid.

*chuckling* Good luck with this.

I know you're exaggerating, but I think it's worth remembering that many kids at 20 think they know all about life, or at least more about the relevant parts of life than their old & out-of-touch parents do.

Of course, they think this way because they have absolutely no idea what it's like to live with the responsibilities of being an adult! Eventually, most will realize that their parents weren't so clueless after all.

In the meantime, this raises the question - realistically, if you think your 20 year old is making a huge mistake, what can you do?

 

[WriterDom]

Flatterer.



As to the whole "older woman/younger man" thing, I think some of it comes back to power games. Society is supposed to value youth, beauty, blahblahblah in women... once you reach a certain point, in theory, you're put out to pasture/traded in for the hot young thing. Younger men who go after Cougars (Gads I hate that term) buck the trend, as do the women they chase... which makes people uncomfortable, because it challenges the status quo.

Well you could have one tooth in your head and tip the scales at 300 pound and be a cougar. Supply and demand.

 

[00Syd]

)

I know you're exaggerating, but I think it's worth remembering that many kids at 20 think they know all about life, or at least more about the relevant parts of life than their old & out-of-touch parents do.

Of course, they think this way because they have absolutely no idea what it's like to live with the responsibilities of being an adult! Eventually, most will realize that their parents weren't so clueless after all.

Annoying generalization. I know you said 'many' and 'most,' but I hear this sort of thing so often, its really starting to grate on my nerves. I think the "I know everything" mentality mostly dies out in high school.

 

[CutieMouse]

*chuckling* Good luck with this.

I know you're exaggerating, but I think it's worth remembering that many kids at 20 think they know all about life, or at least more about the relevant parts of life than their old & out-of-touch parents do.

Of course, they think this way because they have absolutely no idea what it's like to live with the responsibilities of being an adult! Eventually, most will realize that their parents weren't so clueless after all.

In the meantime, this raises the question - realistically, if you think your 20 year old is making a huge mistake, what can you do?

What those who thought I was making a mistake did - tell me, so I could ignore them



I know I can't prevent the kids for choosing their paths in life, but the eldest 2 are now 12 and 14... and they know I love them with all my heart, but they also see how I struggle (without a degree), compared to their dad (who finished his Physics degree when they were toddlers). And they know I'm dead serious when I say they are welcome to fall in love, have relationships, be [safely] sexually active... just please please please consider how important a degree (or three) is, in the grand scheme of things.

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

Most of my female friends are liberal. Most of my relationships have been with liberals. But these same people just cringe when I talk about being with a legal, but young, girl. These same people defended Bill Clinton to the bitter end and that ManWhore was married. Hugh has a mansion full of young women and his Viagra injected dick gets a tv show. Why should I feel guilty about it?

Bill and Hugh have tons of money and many people over look 'faults' of the rich and famous. Maybe your friends will not cringe if you just made millions.

 

[katt_g]

age is just a number




not really though. Not with teachers fucking underage students. And a sting operation pulling in 100 guys willing to fuck a 14 year old girl.

that is why it is so vitally important that the people involved are emotionally and intellectually mature enough to understand the implications and consequences of decisions they make...including those related to sex. or maybe especially related to. whether that happens at 18 or at 40. some people never get there, and i suspect it is rare at 18.

just my opinion, but if course it could be colored by having young kids.

 

[ZRT]

In the meantime, this raises the question - realistically, if you think your 20 year old is making a huge mistake, what can you do?

Try to talk them out of it. If they're still taking your support, cut that support off if you deem the situation bad enough. And after that, let them fall and be there to pick up the pieces if they'll take your help.

I don't have a child of my own, but I raised one, and that situation came up. It worked out in the end, but it was painful.