Spring/Autumn relationships.

[JMohegan]

by that definition, i am not an adult and never will be. of course in my case, experience as an "independent adult" would have greatly inhibited my potential to be the slave that i am now.

My personal ethical view is just that - mine. I'm not the kind of guy who runs around trying to impose it on other people.

If you are over 18, then you are an adult.

If you check my post, you'll see that I was defining an "experienced adult," per my personal view.

 

[ownedsubgal]

My personal ethical view is just that - mine. I'm not the kind of guy who runs around trying to impose it on other people.

If you are over 18, then you are an adult.

If you check my post, you'll see that I was defining an "experienced adult," per my personal view.

i hear you and understood, we all have our own personal ethics by which we live. i just found your perspective interesting (also for me it is a compliment not to be thought of as an independent or experienced adult).

 

[terraform]

To me, age as in years doesn't say much, except maybe about experience. There are young eighteen year olds and old eighteen year olds. Age doesn't matter as much as things like personality, background, and experience. You know that. Coming from the eighteen year old's perspective, an age difference in a relationship in which the man is significantly older than the women is natural. Men mature at an older age. I think the perceived problem is mainly a social one. I know my parents wouldn't want me to be with or much less be married to a man much older than me. Thirty would seem too old to them, whereas I think thirty is very young. Most people discourage it. That alone can ruin a relationship that could have been fine. Of course, there's also a potentially huge difference in personal maturity level, but that can happen in a relationship between people of the same age.

 

[Netzach]

If you can get a woman 20 years younger to fuck you and you are willing to deal with a woman in her 20's more power to you.

(has the no drama lama cutoff of 27)

When it comes to men, I'm attracted to men in their 30's and up into the 40's mostly. I married someone my own age upon hitting my early 30's. I'm not going to kick anyone to the curb for turning 50, but I know that my eye will probably always wander to this age group, even as I go past it.

 

[Shankara20]

If you can get a woman 20 years younger to fuck you and you are willing to deal with a woman in her 20's more power to you.

does it count if I only get them to mail their panties to me

 

[graceanne]

you shouldn't.

but my opinion is quite biased.

Ditto. *shrugs*

 

[Homburg]

by that definition, i am not an adult and never will be. of course in my case, experience as an "independent adult" would have greatly inhibited my potential to be the slave that i am now.

To use those standards, an enormous demographic could be considered not "experienced adults" - Military personnel.

Aside from holding a job, a young soldier upon recruitment has barracks, food, etc all provided for them. Many move out of their parent's house into Basic Training too, so they've never lived anywhere but home.

The first time my father had to negotiate a lease and pay the household bills was when I was in the 3rd grade. So he was into his 30's at the time.

There's probably a corollary here.

 

[WriterDom]

does it count if I only get them to mail their panties to me

I stopped the panty thing after the student in Clemson got arrested. Apparently there is a law against mailing bodily fluids.

 

[gypsy*seer]

I stopped the panty thing after the student in Clemson got arrested. Apparently there is a law against mailing bodily fluids.

Awww hell...dinner ~ shelved

 

[graceanne]

And, initially at least, there were some generational differences vis a vis culture. Music and movies basically, but we've since accepted that our taste in movies and music are different, but still compatible in areas. Given how important music is to me, this was a great relief.

I, personally, believe that the whole thing about being culturally compatible is nice, but not necessary. Quite often people get caught up in the whole culturally compatible thing, and forget the important things. It's more important that you be religiously, politically, and lifestyle-ly compatible. And by that I don't mean that you agree with each other, but that you can live with the other persons beliefs and decisions. Although agreeing is nice, too.

For instance, if one person is a die hard democrat and the other's a die hard republican a relationship IS NOT GOING TO WORK! But if they're a democrat and a republican and neither really gives a damn about politics, things might work.

In me and K's case, I like to hang out online, sleep inside, and watch ice skating. K likes to hunt, camp, and hates the computer and would rather have his toe nails pulled out one by one than watch ice skating (not really, but you get the point). When we married I ONLY listened to country (my changes have broadened since then) and he ONLY listened to heavy metal (so have his). BUT, we are both devout Christians, we're both kinky, we're both conservative (although he's a little less flexible than me), and we both wanted children and have similar child raising beliefs. So, in the end, we make it work.

 

[graceanne]

Interestingly, there is a formula on age difference. Take your age, divide by two, and add seven. This came up in France during and after the Napoleonic wars. So many men were killed or maimed that there was a large surplus of young women, and a strident need to repopulate France. So this formula was arrived upon and became the societal guide for cultural acceptability. It was also intended, from what I recall, to prevent what we would consider as paedophilic pairings with underage girls. Older men and women of age weren't looked down upon in the same manner.

The problem is that what is half of your age changes. When me and K married (he was 28, and I was 19), I was two years too young. Now (he's 40, I'm 31) I'm four years too old. When he's 50 and I'm 41, I'll be 9 years too old.

You can see how that will go.

 

[Homburg]

For instance, if one person is a die hard democrat and the other's a die hard republican a relationship IS NOT GOING TO WORK! But if they're a democrat and a republican and neither really gives a damn about politics, things might work.

This is actually the exact example I used to describe cultural incompatibility, and how anything less severe than this sort of thing might well be surmountable.

The problem is that what is half of your age changes. When me and K married (he was 28, and I was 19), I was two years too young. Now (he's 40, I'm 31) I'm four years too old. When he's 50 and I'm 41, I'll be 9 years too old.

You can see how that will go.

The formula was intended to show the minimum age only. No "too old" implied on the younger side. In other words, the older partner uses the formula to determine the minimum age at which it is considered acceptable. Anything above that is okay.

 

[intothewoods]

I don't know if you're referring to me or not, WD, but since I'm liberal and we did discuss this, it makes me wonder!

For the hell of it, I never defended Bill Clinton. I simply felt and still feel it wasn't worth a government intervention.

And my advice to you was very practical. In general, I wouldn't recommend settling down with a woman that young, because generally speaking that person will change a lot between 20 and 25, and probably isn't in a position to choose a life partner at that time. And yes, plenty of 26, 27, 35, and 40 year olds are also not mature enough to make such a choice. But generally speaking, a larger percentage of under 25s are age-appropriately immature and not ready to, say, get married.

I'm certainly not going to lose a lot of sleep because an older guy fucked an 18 year old. It all depends on what you are looking for.

 

[ZRT]

It's a matter of functionality. Does the relationship serve the needs and desires of the couple? That encompasses all sorts of questions about relationships, especially in this world.

I've been with the young'uns and I've been with the old'uns. The yardstick I use (and this one is strictly -mine-) is that the important thing is that the woman I'm with understands what she's getting into. That requires a certain degree of intelligence, because despite my pretensions of simplicity, I'm a complicated guy and my preferences and foibles are likewise complicated. My preference runs toward women who are mature enough to know what's what and what goes where, because while I am a willing educator, I don't have the patience or taste for micromanagement to teach them every. Damn. Little. Thing.

 

[gypsy*seer]

Bravo.

 

[WriterDom]

I don't know if you're referring to me or not, WD, but since I'm liberal and we did discuss this, it makes me wonder!

.

You were one. Of, I don't know, 7 or 8.

It's been a reoccurring theme. There are a lot of girls out there who have been exposed to bdsm for quite a while. And they aren't shy about making contact.

 

[graceanne]

This is actually the exact example I used to describe cultural incompatibility, and how anything less severe than this sort of thing might well be surmountable.



The formula was intended to show the minimum age only. No "too old" implied on the younger side. In other words, the older partner uses the formula to determine the minimum age at which it is considered acceptable. Anything above that is okay.

But my point is that the 'too young' formula makes no sense. I was too young ten years ago, but not this year? Why? I'm exactly 9 years younger than him, just like I was twelve years ago when we started dating.

 

[graceanne]

You were one. Of, I don't know, 7 or 8.

It's been a reoccurring theme.

At least you're not a older woman dating a younger guy. My mom is six years older than my step-dad and they got SHIT for it.

 

[graceanne]

I don't know if you're referring to me or not, WD, but since I'm liberal and we did discuss this, it makes me wonder!

For the hell of it, I never defended Bill Clinton. I simply felt and still feel it wasn't worth a government intervention.

And my advice to you was very practical. In general, I wouldn't recommend settling down with a woman that young, because generally speaking that person will change a lot between 20 and 25, and probably isn't in a position to choose a life partner at that time. And yes, plenty of 26, 27, 35, and 40 year olds are also not mature enough to make such a choice. But generally speaking, a larger percentage of under 25s are age-appropriately immature and not ready to, say, get married.

I'm certainly not going to lose a lot of sleep because an older guy fucked an 18 year old. It all depends on what you are looking for.

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h284/graceanne1978/iStock_canofworms.jpg

 

[Netzach]

does it count if I only get them to mail their panties to me

I would pat my back, feel like a stud, and consider yourself lucky that such interaction can be drama-free.

 

[Netzach]

For instance, if one person is a die hard democrat and the other's a die hard republican a relationship IS NOT GOING TO WORK! But if they're a democrat and a republican and neither really gives a damn about politics, things might work.

Tell that to Carville and Matalin.

Although they're both some form of space alien, so maybe that's the common denominator.

 

[intothewoods]

You were one. Of, I don't know, 7 or 8.

It's been a reoccurring theme. There are a lot of girls out there who have been exposed to bdsm for quite a while. And they aren't shy about making contact.

This sounds like a you and you thing. It really doesn't matter what all of your liberal female internet friends think rolleyes: man I am so not a special snowflake!).

At least you're not a older woman dating a younger guy. My mom is six years older than my step-dad and they got SHIT for it.

Really? I thought that was more acceptable in a "you go girl" kinda way.

 

[katt_g]

so i suppose i am just way too old...

*pouts*

 

[JMohegan]

But my point is that the 'too young' formula makes no sense. I was too young ten years ago, but not this year? Why? I'm exactly 9 years younger than him, just like I was twelve years ago when we started dating.

Mathematically, the formula supports the notion that the younger the female, the smaller the acceptable age gap should be. The results are not static for precisely this reason.

Per the formula, a 16 year old should not be pursued by anyone older than 18 (a gap of two years). A 17 year old should not be pursued by anyone older than 20 (a gap of three years). And so on.

The math of the formula dictates that for each one year that passes in the female's life, the acceptable age gap also increases by one.

 

[graceanne]

Tell that to Carville and Matalin.

Although they're both some form of space alien, so maybe that's the common denominator.

There are expections to all the rules, but you get the idea.

Really? I thought that was more acceptable in a "you go girl" kinda way.

Not that I've seen. *shrugs*

Mathematically, the formula supports the notion that the younger the female, the smaller the acceptable age gap should be. The results are not static for precisely this reason.

Per the formula, a 16 year old should not be pursued by anyone older than 18 (a gap of two years). A 17 year old should not be pursued by anyone older than 20 (a gap of three years). And so on.

The math of the formula dictates that for each one year that passes in the female's life, the acceptable age gap also increases by one.

Ah. Ok.

Maybe that's why me and K's age gap doesn't raise as many eyebrows as it did when I was 18, and he was 27. lol