son of the isolated blurts thread!

[unregistered]

 

[Miles Long]

Air balloon!

 

[NotHisLady]

yay!!

yes, YAY for shameless--took me years to admit

 

[Miles Long]

Not nice!

 

[Miles Long]

Titties?

 

[RaceyRicey]

Lit Lesson For Living 1: Sometimes the joke ends up being on you.

Don't send your husband a meeting request called "Sexy time" from 9.05pm to 9.07pm with a scantily clad photo of yourself attached to it while he's at work

It MAY it pop up on his computer screen. The same computer screen attached to the data projector. The same data projector that is currently displaying everything on his screen onto the wall of the conference room. The same conference room that currently contains the whole Executive team.

Apparently they all got quite the kick out of it.

At least you'll be invited to the Christmas do this year.

 

[RaceyRicey]

Swift raise and/or promotion then. Double the reasons to get you to the Christmas do.

Or maybe there's a summer ball? Ha.

 

[bailadora]

Lit Lesson For Living 1: Sometimes the joke ends up being on you.

Don't send your husband a meeting request called "Sexy time" from 9.05pm to 9.07pm with a scantily clad photo of yourself attached to it while he's at work

It MAY it pop up on his computer screen. The same computer screen attached to the data projector. The same data projector that is currently displaying everything on his screen onto the wall of the conference room. The same conference room that currently contains the whole Executive team.

Apparently they all got quite the kick out of it.

They're probably all thinking, "The lucky SOB!"

 

[RaceyRicey]

Yeah, that too; but that was implied.

 

[RaceyRicey]

Ooh no, definitely say yes. Could live out a real-life Lit story there. Great opportunity.

Or am I still in my fantasy world?

 

[RaceyRicey]

Perfect opportunity to coax him into that sort of thing then. They want it. You want it. He...could also witness it.

 

[RaceyRicey]

If they've seen you on a projector screen, they'll want you. I assume they're mostly (if not all) blokes, so, yeah, safe to say they'll want you.

What, are you suggesting they actually do business or something with their day as well? tehe

 

[NippleMuncher]

Yes, they're all keen to meet me now. He's only been there about 2 months or so.

Would it be inappropriate to say that he's got a "raise" in his future? LOL

 

[RaceyRicey]

Would it be inappropriate to say that he's got a "raise" in his future? LOL

I already did that one! C'mon, you're more attentive than that, surely? I mean, we've got boobs 'n' everyth-oh no, now I see how you missed it.

 

[Miles Long]

Henceforth, your husband's nickname among the executive team will forever be Sexy Time.

Bailadora is absolutely right: they all thought, "The lucky SOB!" and probably something like, "I wish my wife would do that!"

2 whole minutes, huh? They'll definitely give him shit about that!

 

[Miles Long]

hahaha Including foreplay!

What's foreplay?

 

[Miles Long]

It's Australian for getting undressed.

Pants off dance off?

 

[NippleMuncher]

I already did that one! C'mon, you're more attentive than that, surely? I mean, we've got boobs 'n' everyth-oh no, now I see how you missed it.

If you did, I missed it, it was a VERY long day yesterday.

What's foreplay?

Isn't that the part where you say to her, "brace yourself Effie"? Like the G-spot, foreplay is an urban myth!

 

[bailadora]

Two minutes, Miles Long. There's really no time for dance.

*gasp* Hush your mouth! There's always time for dance! Just make it of the dirty variety, that's all!

 

[unregistered]

 

[unregistered]

 

[Emerson40]

Earlier today, my phone rings, an east coast area code on the phone display.

Me: Hullo?

Caller: Nunzio! How ya doin’ brah?

Me: Sorry? Who were you calling?

Caller: Haha! Do you believe this fuckin’ guy? Nunzio, it’s me Robert. What’s goin’ on?

Me: Oh, hey Robert. I think you dialed the wrong number.

Caller: Seriously?

Me: Yeah, there isn’t a Nunzino here.

Caller: Nunzio.

Me: Oh, sorry. Nunzio. Nobody here named Nunzio.

Caller: Alright. Sorry 'bout that.

*Robert hangs up*



Twenty seconds later the phone rings again. Same number.

Me: Hullo?

Caller: Hey Nunzio! It’s Robert. How you doin’ brah!?

Me: Hey Robert. You dialed the same number again. Nobody named Nunzio here.

Caller: You sure?

Me: Yep. Pretty sure.

Caller: Okay. Sorry about that. Is this ***-***-****?

Me: Yes, but there isn’t anybody named Nunzio at that number.

Caller: You sure?

Me: Absolutely.

*Robert hangs up*


I look at my phone for about a minute, waiting for it to ring once more.
I think about my trip to the east coast last month, and go over the days spent there in my head.

For a brief moment I am gripped by the thought: Could I be Nunzio?

 

[Ellafun]

I take off for awhile, come back to say hello, and I am witness to the twerking Miley-chicken. I am going back into therapy and may never come back.

WTH, man?? Why would you even LOOK for that?

 

[Emerson40]

I take off for awhile, come back to say hello, and I am witness to the twerking Miley-chicken. I am going back into therapy and may never come back.

WTH, man?? Why would you even LOOK for that?

I could say I was searching for "Jerk Chicken" recipes and blame auto-fill, but that would be a lie.

It was "Twerking Monkey" I wanted. Twerking Miley presented, and the rest is post-tory.

Welcome back Ella! Hang out a bit here, you may never go back to therapy.


BTW, I did find my monkey. Sweet twerkin' monkey.


http://24.media.tumblr.com/d94bfdc3b942b91f0e8e2ab42cf3621b/tumblr_mwbqvrpg0u1qdhsq0o1_r1_500.gif

 

[Ellafun]

I could say I was searching for "Jerk Chicken" recipes and blame auto-fill, but that would be a lie.

It was "Twerking Monkey" I wanted. Twerking Miley presented, and the rest is post-tory.

Welcome back Ella! Hang out a bit here, you may never go back to therapy.


BTW, I did find my monkey. Sweet twerkin' monkey.

Thank you for the welcome back! The monkey isn't quite as disturbing. And may, in fact be more talented than the chicken. At least the monkey hasn't been plucked.