Sometimes saying hello means saying hello

[O'Mac]

I don't get people at times. Recently I've created an account at Collarme.com and have been messaging a few individuals with the same sort of interests as myself just to learn a bit more about the scene and trade a few techniques and tips. I don't want this to degrade into a rant of any sort, but it seems that some people automatically assume that a rather innocent message and introduction is akin to a pushy come-on.

Take, for example, a simple greeting such as: "Hi! Just checking out your profile and wanted to see if you're up for chatting. I'm new to the whole BDSM thing myself and I'm looking for other newbies with their thoughts and opinions."

Does that sound flirtatious? Does that sound pushy? I don't think so, yet some people tend to believe civil conversation is just one big pick-up line.

Okay, so maybe that did degrade into a rant. Still though, I see it all the time. Attention all women: Sometimes a guy wanting to talk, means exactly what it says.

Okay, I'm done for now.

 

[Marquis]

You're preaching to the choir, bro.

 

[Aeroil]

haha, well seeing as how it's a personal site, people are a bit wary of it.

 

[canadiancutie]

I don't get people at times. Recently I've created an account at Collarme.com and have been messaging a few individuals with the same sort of interests as myself just to learn a bit more about the scene and trade a few techniques and tips. I don't want this to degrade into a rant of any sort, but it seems that some people automatically assume that a rather innocent message and introduction is akin to a pushy come-on.

Take, for example, a simple greeting such as: "Hi! Just checking out your profile and wanted to see if you're up for chatting. I'm new to the whole BDSM thing myself and I'm looking for other newbies with their thoughts and opinions."

Does that sound flirtatious? Does that sound pushy? I don't think so, yet some people tend to believe civil conversation is just one big pick-up line.

Okay, so maybe that did degrade into a rant. Still though, I see it all the time. Attention all women: Sometimes a guy wanting to talk, means exactly what it says.

Okay, I'm done for now.

I would talk to you....followed by sex.

 

[Killishandra]

I would talk to you....followed by sex.

Those are pretty big words for a VIRGIN.

 

[canadiancutie]

Those are pretty big words for a VIRGIN.

haha who told you?!?! that being said....I would totally do you.

 

[Xelebes]

haha who told you?!?! that being said....I would totally do you.

I would do you... after we had sex.

 

[Aeroil]

Lol, just don't start handing out honorary memberships to the gang in exchange for sex boss...

 

[Xelebes]

Lol, just don't start handing out honorary memberships to the gang in exchange for sex boss...

You're implying that is not how membership is gained. Don't dash my hopes, young sir.

 

[serijules]

O'Mac,

That attitude kind of baffles me too. I see a lot of people complain about "It clearly says in my profile that I only am looking for a <whatever> and all these people message me anyhow, sheeesh!". Whatever happened to just getting to know people? Granted sometimes it's just some really ignorant asshole who thinks they can change your mind about all your interests to suit themselves, but I've seen a lot of unnecessary snubbing happen too. If I only talked to people that shared every single interest as me and was 100% compatible with me, I wouldn't be talking to anyone.

To me, part of getting to know others and finding the right match in the scene is actually getting to know people. When I first started looking for a partner, I was only interested in men. By getting to know a few Domme's, I opened up a whole nother world for myself, and now I have little interest in men other than just through friendships.

I feel sorry for people that are so stuck in a rut that they refuse to even consider those that may be outside their norm...I think they are cutting themselves off from some really interesting people.

For what it's worth, if you had messaged me with that kind of opening, I would have replied. Doesn't come across pushy or flirtatious to me.

 

[Killishandra]

haha who told you?!?! that being said....I would totally do you.

Despite your brash mouth, I am 95% certain I would Domme the crap outa you.

AKA, I'd "do" you, but be prepared to whimper like a... umm... well, like a schoolgirl. (damn! )

 

[canadiancutie]

Despite your brash mouth, I am 95% certain I would Domme the crap outa you.

AKA, I'd "do" you, but be prepared to whimper like a... umm... well, like a schoolgirl. (damn! )

I think that sounds fun. Visit?

 

[jasonlf]

Those are pretty big words for a VIRGIN.

Full-on belly laugh from that one Killi.

Nice.

Very, very nice.

 

[Killishandra]

Serious post

O'Mac, as a female who's been on (and off) collarme for a few months, I will add my 2 cents. I don't respond to every "hi" and "wassup you wanna chat i like ur pictures ur hot" and certainly not to every "I am Sir Dom the Commanding! Message me now, slave bitch!!" but I try to catch and respond to EVERY polite and well-written request, whether it is chat oriented or relationship oriented or whatever. Even if it's just to say "Sorry, but I'm not up for chatting right now. Thank you for taking the time to message me, perhaps another time."

Keep at it and you're bound to meet some friendly people. ALOT of people act like assholes online... it's part of the appeal of hiding behind a screen name. Getting to lash out without (so they think) repercussions. But there are plenty of nice people out there... I doubt a friendly guy like you will continue to have a hard time finding other friendly people to chat with.

 

[canadiancutie]

Full-on belly laugh from that one Killi.

Nice.

Very, very nice.

You're just as much of a virgin as I am. Keep laughing.

 

[Private_Label]

... but it seems that some people automatically assume that a rather innocent message and introduction is akin to a pushy come-on.

Take, for example, a simple greeting such as: "Hi! Just checking out your profile and wanted to see if you're up for chatting. I'm new to the whole BDSM thing myself and I'm looking for other newbies with their thoughts and opinions."

I certainly would have given you a civilized response. I might have enven asked a few "ice breaker" questions in reply. Unfortunately (speaking from the receiving end of these intro PM's) I sometimes get the impression that "wanna chat" is used in place of "wanna have cyber sex?" in order to not sound like a rude person who is only after one thing (which most of them are...) especially when the person has been more of a lurker and not a poster to the boards - I have no way to see who they are and what their interests might be, and if I might find them interesting to talk to. I'm not someone who is promiscuous. I'm not going to do anything in cyberspace that I would refrain from doing real time face to face.


Usually when I respond with a few ordinary questions that I would ask anyone I had just met, they usually don't respond back. Oh there are a few - I'm hanging on to those with both hands, but I am still running into difficulty in prying "small talk" out of some of them.

Maybe if you asked a few "ice breaker questions and gave the answers to those same questions for yourself, then they could see that you are not just sliding up next to them and attempting to buy them a few drinks in the hopes that ... well, you get the idea.

 

[Killishandra]

Full-on belly laugh from that one Killi.

Nice.

Very, very nice.

Thanks! Laughs are fun... I have a very fun, very evil laugh I partake in when imagining testing out my toppy tendencies on CC. She's gotta fly out to ME, though. I am through flying out to North America for awhile.

 

[Killishandra]

You're just as much of a virgin as I am. Keep laughing.

Yeah, but he doesn't run around telling people how he'd do them.

 

[canadiancutie]

Yeah, but he doesn't run around telling people how he'd do them.

have you talked to him on msn? oi vay

 

[canadiancutie]

Thanks! Laughs are fun... I have a very fun, very evil laugh I partake in when imagining testing out my toppy tendencies on CC. She's gotta fly out to ME, though. I am through flying out to North America for awhile.

that's a little um....eeep? that being said, I would still do you

 

[Private_Label]

You're just as much of a virgin as I am. Keep laughing.

CC I am both older and much more of a virgin than the two of you put together.

Lol, just don't start handing out honorary memberships to the gang in exchange for sex boss...

*picks up flogger* I nominate and elect myself the sex boss of this virgin group. It's my right as oldest virgin here.

 

[Aeroil]

that's a little um....eeep? that being said, I would still do you

And I would take pictures .

 

[Killishandra]

that's a little um....eeep? that being said, I would still do you

~I~ would do you, dear.

Just relax and enjoy.

 

[Aeroil]

CC I am both older and much more of a virgin than the two of you put together.



*picks up flogger* I nominate and elect myself the sex boss of this virgin group. It's my right as oldest virgin here.

lol, I somehow doubt that Boss would let you in the gang, PL, let alone succeed her leadership to you.

 

[jasonlf]

*picks up flogger* I nominate and elect myself the sex boss of this virgin group. It's my right as oldest virgin here.

You'd better not point that thing my way, or else we'll have a fight.