Something heavy on your heart or mind? Let it out here...

[Guest]

. . . On the flip side, have you ever had your ass fall asleep. That is one of the most uncomfortable things in the world. More so I think than having something shoved up it.

LOL.

Um, some of us enjoy that sensation, hon.

(And you may want to check with carson about his opinion on that, as well.)

 

[BlackShanglan]

It really is time to go to bed. Good night, lovelies.

Shanglan

 

[rikaaim]

Seriously, if this is a major issue:

1) www.blowfish.com. Knock yourself out. If your dick thrusting isn't enough, use your hands and anything from the glass, silicon, jelly, or metal selections. The variety is vast. Start your own toy of the month club.

2) Get instruction. There were, at last count, about 50 bazillion "how to" web pages and files on oral and manual sex.

3) Sling your wife a few drinks and then start talking sex. Seriously. If you can pluck a little dom string in her, all the better, but get her talking to you about what to do, a little at a time with some physical pointers.

But what the hell do I know? I'm just a horse.

Shanglan

You're the best damn talking horse I know man, uh horse. We do have a plan to start some exercise techniques and other options at the beginning of the year. The thing is, she is very very basic. Hands are oaky, toys sort of. I love to use all of that. Hands, toys, fantasies, other people, anything... She just sticks to the basics. She has a very small wild streak that she likes to be tied up and dominated as well as dominate. We've done that a bit. I do have some latex extensions, but the problem is that she has gotten somewhat used to those and now I'm not so good. But we are working on it. I joke mainly about that. It really is a big deal for me, and if I joke, it helps.

 

[rikaaim]

LOL.

Um, some of us enjoy that sensation, hon.

(And you may want to check with carson about his opinion on that, as well.)

I was agreeing that I too like it. Especially a vibe. That's always a nice bonus. I usually I have sneak that away from the misses. She don't go for that.

 

[Edward Teach]

LOL.

Um, some of us enjoy that sensation, hon.

(And you may want to check with carson about his opinion on that, as well.)

I seriously doubt that your ass has ever been asleep, sweet.


Ed

 

[Evil Alpaca]

*low, ragged gasp*

Prod.

Again.

Shanglan

Setting prod to "frappe" and putting the goggles on.

 

[Guest]

I seriously doubt that your ass has ever been asleep, sweet.

Ed

Pirate Ed!

How well you know me. How are you this rum-laden evening?

 

[rikaaim]

So, who here isn't going to bed, well going to sleep? I'm sure most of you want to go to bed. Just not alone.

 

[Guest]

It really is time to go to bed. Good night, lovelies.

Shanglan

G'night - sleep well!

 

[Edward Teach]

Pirate Ed!

How well you know me. How are you this rum-laden evening?

You know us pirates, always looking for som rum and a nubile wench to sit on our fac, er, chest.


Ed

 

[Evil Alpaca]

It really is time to go to bed. Good night, lovelies.

Shanglan

Sigh . . . it happens every time! He just . . . goes to sleep in the middle of everything. I guess it is time to sleep though.

yawn

 

[rikaaim]

Good night to all who are off to sleep. May yours dreams be soft and sweet. Yasumi nasai. Ki o tsukete kudasai.

 

[rikaaim]

Just curious, am I the only one who knows any Japanese?

 

[BlackShanglan]

A quick last word ...

She has a very small wild streak that she likes to be tied up and dominated as well as dominate.

Work that for all it's worth. Let her use domination as a way to tell you very specifically what to do. Pay careful attention.

I joke mainly about that. It really is a big deal for me, and if I joke, it helps.

Use caution. Better to focus on what you are going to do and how delicious it will be than on what you worry about and how it might be bad. Joke about how you're going to eat her into oblivion and you might set a better tone.

(Oh, I know ... go to bed while I'm still a horse and perhaps not yet a jackass. On my way ...)

Shanglan

 

[BlackShanglan]

Sigh . . . it happens every time! He just . . . goes to sleep in the middle of everything. I guess it is time to sleep though.

yawn

Only because ecstasy takes a powerful toll, adored one.

 

[rikaaim]

A quick last word ...



Work that for all it's worth. Let her use domination as a way to tell you very specifically what to do. Pay careful attention.



Use caution. Better to focus on what you are going to do and how delicious it will be than on what you worry about and how it might be bad. Joke about how you're going to eat her into oblivion and you might set a better tone.

(Oh, I know ... go to bed while I'm still a horse and perhaps not yet a jackass. On my way ...)

Shanglan

The Dom thing I try to work, but it's only happened once or twice. She just doesn't get into anything kinky. She has a very rough side, if I could coax it out. She doesn't really want to let loose and she constantly tells me that her wild side isn't as big as I think it is. It must be time for me to go to bed to, my typing sucks. When that happens, it's bed time.

 

[rikaaim]

Goodnight all. Yasumi nasai = good night in Japanese. Ki o tsukete kudasai = please take care. Kiree kanbon desu ne? = a pretty evening isn't it? Tsuma wa kiree desu.= my wife is pretty. Watashi wa PIZA o tabetai kara tsukairimaus ga tankan yasumi to omoimasu. If any of this looks incorrect, to those who could tell, shitsuree shimashita.

 

[Guest]

Just curious, am I the only one who knows any Japanese?

Only as it relates to Shotokan training.

Goodnight to you.

 

[rikaaim]

Only as it relates to Shotokan training.

Goodnight to you.

Arigato Gozaimasu. Thank you, for the good night. It makes me feel all special and warm inside, and down my leg, crap, those stories are really good. Well, gotta go change boxers now. Wait, no I don't. I sleep naked, or in my tight black thong. No thong tonight, it's naked.

 

[Guest]

Arigato Gozaimasu. Thank you, for the good night. It makes me feel all special and warm inside, and down my leg, crap, those stories are really good. Well, gotta go change boxers now. Wait, no I don't. I sleep naked, or in my tight black thong. No thong tonight, it's naked.

*grin*

Are you supposed to formally excuse yourself to leave and then discuss how you sleep naked?

Tsk, tsk.

 

[rikaaim]

*grin*

Are you supposed to formally excuse yourself to leave and then discuss how you sleep naked?

Tsk, tsk.

How else should I excuse myself? *rudely throws clothes to the ground and stomps out of the thread* *psst. I really am naked now* *runs to bed* Was that better? Of course not, you just want to see a naked man...maybe...not quite sure yet.

 

[rikaaim]

I need some food first. Anyone have anything good for me to eat? Anything at all, I'm starving. I still have whipped cream, carmel topping sauce as well as butterscotch, cherries, and vanella ice cream. I'm sure I could do something with all of that...

 

[carsonshepherd]

(And you may want to check with carson about his opinion on that, as well.)

Let's talk about the word shoved, shall we?

To shove implies something unwanted or painful. It implies unwillingness.

There are times when a good, hard thrust is a beautiful thing, but generally a more subtle sensation is the most pleasurable, esp. for the beginner. See sweetsubsarah's How-To for more info. Someone with less endowment could really benefit from getting into anal... Only a suggestion though...

The Dom thing I try to work, but it's only happened once or twice. She just doesn't get into anything kinky. She has a very rough side, if I could coax it out. She doesn't really want to let loose and she constantly tells me that her wild side isn't as big as I think it is.

Buddy, in trying anything new or kinky with the missus, please consider Shanglan's good advice, but also this. Start slow. Go easy. For God's sake don't hound her about it. If you talk about it too much, she'll really dig in and resist; use some finesse. Share with her some Lit stories that turn you on (nothing too hard core at first, genius!) and just try to work up to it, bit by bit. Don't try to dive in head first!

It does sound like she has a kinky side but she's afraid to let loose, and if you push her too hard, she never will. Some people are resistant to kink because they're afraid that if they indulge it, they'll never get any "normal" sex again and the kink will dominate their life. Show her by your actions this isn't true. Give her all the hot vanilla lovin' she wants, and in the midst of it, passionately ask her is she'll do such-and-such thing for you. And again, baby steps! A finger up the back door might be a good place to start.

Just don't be too eager. To repeat what I said before, Don't hound her! Let it happen but don't force anything.

Just my advice,
Love, the Very Vanilla Carson

 

[cantdog]

Firesign theater

 

[BlackShanglan]

To repeat what I said before, Don't hound her!

Sorry. That just happens to be hysterical coming from a giant dog

That said, Carson is, of course, entirely right. He nearly always is. Nothing kills the libido faster than a sense of being badgered (my the animals are out in force today) for sexual favors.

The ghost of Tieresias came to me in my sleep and asked, "how does he know he's not satisfying her?" I confessed not to know, and Tieresias gave me one of those cryptic little winks. Bastard. He's a real tease.

At any rate, my guess as to what he meant: are you speaking, rikaaim, of orgasm on her part, or of enunciated complaints about her pleasure in things? As good Tieresias reminded me, I think I've heard that the relative norm is that most women have difficulty achieving orgasm through penetration alone. If that's what you're taking as a sign of failure, then the problem is not endowment but focus.

If, on the other hand, you're getting complaints, then work on coaxing, gently, a belief that complaints are well-received and gently taken if they come with a word or two of specific advice.

Hungry. Sleepy. Carson, I want some of your potato casserole stuff.

Shanglan