Something heavy on your heart or mind? Let it out here...

[BlackShanglan]

Not to butt in, but Giant Wooden Badger??? No one else has batted an eyelash. Is there really such a thing? I keep picturing the Trojan Bunny in "Grail"…

Oh yes, it's mentioned right after that. It's more of a hypothetical Giant Wooden Badger. After explaining that "Sir Bors, Sir Galahad, and I" will jump out of the rabbit (already wheeled in), he pauses, then begins, "If we built this giant wooden badger ..."

Shanglan

(Please, for the sake of civilization as we know it, don't get me started.)

 

[Evil Alpaca]

Not to butt in, but Giant Wooden Badger??? No one else has batted an eyelash. Is there really such a thing? I keep picturing the Trojan Bunny in "Grail"…

Me and the bunny . . . we're old college friends. He's got a nasty carrot-juice problem though . . . he's in rehab now.

 

[rikaaim]

I once managed to injure myself in such a way that when I finally went to have it looked at, the first words out of the nurse's mouth were, "So. You'd been drinking."

Confessedly, I am rather proud of that one.

Shanglan

Congratulations. My buddy, another buddy, has both of his big toes infected. He has 2 ingrown toenails that have been there for over 2 years. He went to the emergency room finally and he had 3 doctors and 10 nurses. When they first saw the infection the doctor jumped back and said, "Good God! How long have you had this." His response, "2 years."

 

[BlackShanglan]

My tongue always seems to find a good use. I have an oral asfixiation problem. It's an obsession that something must always be in my mouth. I still suck on my fingers. It's like a sweet drug, oh the endorphines and serotonine...*drools*

Then use that silver tongue to persuade her of some other pleasures ...

 

[Evil Alpaca]

Oh yes, it's mentioned right after that. It's more of a hypothetical Giant Wooden Badger. After explaining that "Sir Bors, Sir Galahad, and I" will jump out of the rabbit (already wheeled in), he pauses, then begins, "If we built this giant wooden badger ..."

Shanglan

(Please, for the sake of civilization as we know it, don't get me started.)

*prods Shanglan with a cattle-prod*
Hey, this could combine a couple of different posts . . .

 

[rikaaim]

Me and the bunny . . . we're old college friends. He's got a nasty carrot-juice problem though . . . he's in rehab now.

If your my friend, you and the bunny, after drinking a few beer (which really means that they are too drunk to walk)...

 

[yui]

Oh yes, it's mentioned right after that. It's more of a hypothetical Giant Wooden Badger. After explaining that "Sir Bors, Sir Galahad, and I" will jump out of the rabbit (already wheeled in), he pauses, then begins, "If we built this giant wooden badger ..."

Shanglan

(Please, for the sake of civilization as we know it, don't get me started.)

Laughing. I love Monty Python. I need to re-watch it, its been awhile.

 

[rikaaim]

Then use that silver tongue to persuade her of some other pleasures ...

She's gotten that a lot this week. I'm not very good she says. I think shes right. I just can't ever finish the job. At least with a man you know you can finish him. With a woman, it's hit or miss. Well, if I was bigger it wouldn't be. I'm really too small to satisfy her. *sobs as that's probably the saddest thing I've ever said*

 

[BlackShanglan]

Laughing. I love Monty Python. I need to re-watch it, its been awhile.

All of the best people do It's always time for another re-watch. *happy sigh*

 

[yui]

Me and the bunny . . . we're old college friends. He's got a nasty carrot-juice problem though . . . he's in rehab now.

 

[carsonshepherd]

She's gotten that a lot this week. I'm not very good she says. I think shes right. I just can't ever finish the job. At least with a man you know you can finish him. With a woman, it's hit or miss. Well, if I was bigger it wouldn't be. I'm really too small to satisfy her. *sobs as that's probably the saddest thing I've ever said*

Oh my Lord! I am SOOOOO going to bed now!

heart: to you.)

 

[rikaaim]

*prods Shanglan with a cattle-prod*
Hey, this could combine a couple of different posts . . .

*Pokes with cattle-prod just to cause harm to another human being...um...horse*

 

[rikaaim]

Oh my Lord! I am SOOOOO going to bed now!

heart: to you.)

Sure. I know how that goes. I'll talk to you in about 5 mins. Then 5 more mins. Then in 10 mins...then 20...then you may really be off to bed. Not sure yet.

 

[rikaaim]

All of the best people do It's always time for another re-watch. *happy sigh*

I HATE MP!!! HAH Take that. What you gonna do? HUH?! PUNK! *hides behind box and points at that guy over there* He said it.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

And then there was that time that me and the Giant Chicken of Bristol got into a heated debate about the average wingspan of an African swallow, and things got ugly.

 

[BlackShanglan]

*prods Shanglan with a cattle-prod*
Hey, this could combine a couple of different posts . . .

Whhhhaaaaa ...

Sorry. Image. Alpaca. Cattle prod. Brain unfocusing ... ever so nicely.

Do carry on.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

I HATE MP!!! HAH Take that. What you gonna do? HUH?! PUNK! *hides behind box and points at that guy over there* He said it.

That's it! I need a catapult, a live cow and a French accent!

 

[BlackShanglan]

I HATE MP!!! HAH Take that. What you gonna do? HUH?! PUNK! *hides behind box and points at that guy over there* He said it.

Burn the witch! Burn him!

 

[rikaaim]

And then there was that time that me and the Giant Chicken of Bristol got into a heated debate about the average wingspan of an African swallow, and things got ugly.

African swallow eh? Maybe the heated argument should have been how a Giant Chicken and an Evil Alpaca can accurately hold a measuring device to begin with.

 

[rikaaim]

Burn the witch! Burn him!

*cheers in unison* Yeah! Let's get him. That guy hates Monty Python. Burn! *shifty eyes* *runs with the local angry mob with torches after the innocent*

 

[Evil Alpaca]

Whhhhaaaaa ...

Sorry. Image. Alpaca. Cattle prod. Brain unfocusing ... ever so nicely.

Do carry on.

Well, I'd use a "horse-prod" but I think he finally went to sleep. Whatever shall I do now?

 

[rikaaim]

Well, I'd use a "horse-prod" but I think he finally went to sleep. Whatever shall I do now?

Who went to sleep? At any rate, wake his ass up. Just his ass nothing else. That would make for a most interesting feeling in the morning. On the flip side, have you ever had your ass fall asleep. That is one of the most uncomfortable things in the world. More so I think than having something shoved up it.

 

[BlackShanglan]

She's gotten that a lot this week. I'm not very good she says. I think shes right. I just can't ever finish the job. At least with a man you know you can finish him. With a woman, it's hit or miss. Well, if I was bigger it wouldn't be. I'm really too small to satisfy her. *sobs as that's probably the saddest thing I've ever said*

Seriously, if this is a major issue:

1) www.blowfish.com. Knock yourself out. If your dick thrusting isn't enough, use your hands and anything from the glass, silicon, jelly, or metal selections. The variety is vast. Start your own toy of the month club.

2) Get instruction. There were, at last count, about 50 bazillion "how to" web pages and files on oral and manual sex.

3) Sling your wife a few drinks and then start talking sex. Seriously. If you can pluck a little dom string in her, all the better, but get her talking to you about what to do, a little at a time with some physical pointers.

But what the hell do I know? I'm just a horse.

Shanglan

 

[rikaaim]

It got late really fast. I need to go to bed soon too. Well, I don't really. I just love that little guy. Look at him go.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Well, I'd use a "horse-prod" but I think he finally went to sleep. Whatever shall I do now?

*low, ragged gasp*

Prod.

Again.

Shanglan