So, last night I was sending pervy pictures to this chick using Bluetooth...

[JustSkye]

DevilishTexan: "Hey pardner, don't stand next to me, I'm supposed to be the BMOC in these here parts!"

Not even close.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Not even close.

Don't feel so bad... he met "bigger" men while serving time for that gun violation.

 

[lushlucid]

you sound like a late night shopping ad

 

[Mansa Musa]

you sound like a late night shopping ad

Finally, someone actually gets the joke. Although, I did get a few numbers and I sent off my pictures.

 

[Anne08]

And she told me that I could send pictures in an IM format, instead of searching for connectivity.
So, I've been twiddling around with my phone, and I think that I've figured out how to send pictures to other people.

I'm a Luddite, I know.

Anyway, because I'm bored, I've decided to send pictures of my cock to anyone who PM's me with a working North American phone number. Here are some quotes from satisfied customers...

OLOTH: "When I decide to take on a second husband, you'll be my first choice."

LadyFunk: "I'd always wondered why Germans made fisting porn. Then I saw Mr. Essex's cock and it all made sense. They were preparing themselves for Mr. Essex."

Lady Reiha: "It's scary, so I deleted almost every picture!"

Recidiva: "Get off the Internet and make me a sandwich, tongue slave!"

English Lady: "It's bigger than Mewfie's strap-on!"

Glamorilla: "Eh, I've seen bigger."

Busybody: "Knee-grow cock will kill us all! Obama's a moose-shit terrorist!!"

CrazyBBWGirl: "Wait, what? How'd you get my number? And, do you have any friends!!?"

Dolf: "It's bigger than my ego!!"

So, act now! Mr. Essex is standing by to take all callers! Don't be a square, be a perv!

lmao, that's hilarous. You make it sound like an infomercial and that's the customers response on the product

 

[Absolut]

Geez I hope you're charging for postage and handling.

 

[Mansa Musa]

Geez I hope you're charging for postage and handling.

Steak and beer, my good man. I'm a sucker for medium steak and 3 beers.

 

[Recidiva]

Where's my damned sandwich?

 

[Cade Is Here]

I want to fuck your ego and leave it on a pile on the floor.

a run on sentance

 

[cjh]

a run on sentance

that would be "run-on sentence."

unless maybe sentance is jargon for bear stearns.

if so, then yes, there was a run on sentance.

 

[Shadowann2]

Thank you for the phone call and the pic...all of my friends and I are very impressed!

Shadowann2: "I want me some of that!"

 

[Mansa Musa]

Where's my damned sandwich?

http://home.gwi.net/~spectrum/pbandj/pbj.jpg

then

http://fhg.dpfanatics.com/6069/images/dp_6069-095.jpg

As always, your command is my wish...

 

[Recidiva]

http://home.gwi.net/~spectrum/pbandj/pbj.jpg

then

http://fhg.dpfanatics.com/6069/images/dp_6069-095.jpg

As always, your command is my wish...

Well.

Okay then.

*happy smile*

 

[Mansa Musa]

Thank you for the phone call and the pic...all of my friends and I are very impressed!

Shadowann2: "I want me some of that!"

One proviso: Do not post the pictures! If you post those pictures, I will find and punish you, starting with your butt cheeks. :spanks:

 

[Mansa Musa]

Well.

Okay then.

*happy smile*

Domo arigato gozamaizu, o_jo-sama.