So, last night I was sending pervy pictures to this chick using Bluetooth...

[Mansa Musa]

And she told me that I could send pictures in an IM format, instead of searching for connectivity.
So, I've been twiddling around with my phone, and I think that I've figured out how to send pictures to other people.

I'm a Luddite, I know.

Anyway, because I'm bored, I've decided to send pictures of my cock to anyone who PM's me with a working North American phone number. Here are some quotes from satisfied customers...

OLOTH: "When I decide to take on a second husband, you'll be my first choice."

LadyFunk: "I'd always wondered why Germans made fisting porn. Then I saw Mr. Essex's cock and it all made sense. They were preparing themselves for Mr. Essex."

Lady Reiha: "It's scary, so I deleted almost every picture!"

Recidiva: "Get off the Internet and make me a sandwich, tongue slave!"

English Lady: "It's bigger than Mewfie's strap-on!"

Glamorilla: "Eh, I've seen bigger."

Busybody: "Knee-grow cock will kill us all! Obama's a moose-shit terrorist!!"

CrazyBBWGirl: "Wait, what? How'd you get my number? And, do you have any friends!!?"

Dolf: "It's bigger than my ego!!"

So, act now! Mr. Essex is standing by to take all callers! Don't be a square, be a perv!

 

[isthisdesire]

lol.

so hm...

 

[Shadowann2]

Where's my pic?

 

[Batch]

*chuckles*

 

[dolf]

nothing is bigger than my ego.

 

[chillywilly2]

i'll take one
I can show it to girls and say its mine

 

[morewickedfun]

Apparently you've not met my strapon.

 

[~Haze~]

Apparently you've not met my strapon.

Share with the class and show us all.

 

[cjh]

you're one funny fucker.

i like your posts.

 

[pabloback]

nothing is bigger than my ego.

mine is



by a long way

second best is first of the losers

 

[MechaBlade]

nothing is bigger than my ego.

I want to fuck your ego and leave it on a pile on the floor.

 

[Guest]

Alas, no working North American phone number!

Bah, who cares? What I got was way better than a picture. I'll save some for the other girls.

 

[Mansa Musa]

Alas, no working North American phone number!

Bah, who cares? What I got was way better than a picture. I'll save some for the other girls.

I'm blushing right now...

I can't believe that people are actually sending me their phone numbers!

 

[Colonel Hogan]

I can't believe that people are actually sending me their phone numbers!

Why don't you call them and see which precincts you get?

 

[Mansa Musa]

Why don't you call them and see which precincts you get?

35th, mostly. I'm in the city right now, and our cops aren't hitting the donuts as much as they used to, apparently.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Here are some quotes from satisfied customers...

OLOTH: "When I decide to take on a second husband, you'll be my first choice."

LadyFunk: "I'd always wondered why Germans made fisting porn. Then I saw Mr. Essex's cock and it all made sense. They were preparing themselves for Mr. Essex."

Lady Reiha: "It's scary, so I deleted almost every picture!"

Recidiva: "Get off the Internet and make me a sandwich, tongue slave!"

English Lady: "It's bigger than Mewfie's strap-on!"

Glamorilla: "Eh, I've seen bigger."

Busybody: "Knee-grow cock will kill us all! Obama's a moose-shit terrorist!!"

CrazyBBWGirl: "Wait, what? How'd you get my number? And, do you have any friends!!?"

Dolf: "It's bigger than my ego!!"

Killswitch: Comon. You gota be pretty despirate if you gota send pics of your cock to everyone. Of course the sluts around here dont care about theyre respect and I think its kinda pathettic is all Im sayin. Especiallly Dolf.

 

[isthisdesire]

I'm blushing right now...

I can't believe that people are actually sending me their phone numbers!

I'm embarrassed to say I thought about doing that.

 

[dolf]

Killswitch: Comon. You gota be pretty despirate if you gota send pics of your cock to everyone. Of course the sluts around here dont care about theyre respect and I think its kinda pathettic is all Im sayin. Especiallly Dolf.

bang on!

 

[Mansa Musa]

I'm embarrassed to say I thought about doing that.

For a Yankees fan, I'll do just about anything. Send us your cellphone number, love.

 

[Mansa Musa]

My new phone works perfectly! PM your number and you'll receive a picture of my bits, and you don't have to be chained to your computer. You can look at my bits at work, during a boring date, or you can flash my picture at annoying would-be suitors. Here are some more testimonials from satisfied customers...

VermillionSkye: I'd walk through a blizzard for a shot at the real thing!

Corruptible: One day, I'm going to turn him over to the dark side, I swear it!

Isthisdesire: I saw, I came, I came again!

Glo33: I left America a few months too early...

Bisexplicit: I want you to be my new "Daddy".

IrezumiKiss: I've been needing another model. I can't draw and fuck at the same time, dammit!

Questiongirl: Three questions- When, where and how much?

Recidiva: If you send out one more picture, then you're officially banned from tongue duty!


Don't you want to be a part of this Lit phenomena? Don't you want to truly belong?
Hit that PM button and send me your phone number ASAP! After all, everyone else is doing it...

 

[LinearMan]

I want to fuck your ego and leave it on a pile on the floor.

I gotta remember that one.

 

[JustSkye]

My new phone works perfectly! PM your number and you'll receive a picture of my bits, and you don't have to be chained to your computer. You can look at my bits at work, during a boring date, or you can flash my picture at annoying would-be suitors. Here are some more testimonials from satisfied customers...

VermillionSkye: I'd walk through a blizzard for a shot at the real thing!

Corruptible: One day, I'm going to turn him over to the dark side, I swear it!

Isthisdesire: I saw, I came, I came again!

Glo33: I left America a few months too early...

Bisexplicit: I want you to be my new "Daddy".

IrezumiKiss: I've been needing another model. I can't draw and fuck at the same time, dammit!

Questiongirl: Three questions- When, where and how much?

Recidiva: If you send out one more picture, then you're officially banned from tongue duty!


Don't you want to be a part of this Lit phenomena? Don't you want to truly belong?
Hit that PM button and send me your phone number ASAP! After all, everyone else is doing it...

Sorry...but I already have the real thing. He's amazing, too.

 

[Thunderbear]

nothing is bigger than my ego.

Balls. I came in here to post this.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Glamorilla: "Eh, I've seen bigger."

Busybody: "Knee-grow cock will kill us all! Obama's a moose-shit terrorist!!"

Dolf: "It's bigger than my ego!!"

*spews coke* Hahahahahah those are classics.

You forgot:

"I discovered and patented the gene for cocks that size, little blacksnake."

Guess who that is.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Sorry...but I already have the real thing. He's amazing, too.

DevilishTexan: "Hey pardner, don't stand next to me, I'm supposed to be the BMOC in these here parts!"