So, apparently, I don't count.

[NerdOwl]

The other day I was strollin down the street (not really but the location isn't really relevant) and I bumped into some friends I hadnt seen in a while. We were chattin it ip and I noticed a new chick I hadnt met before. She was checkin me out so I took the liberty to do the same. My ever observant friend noticed and introduced us with "**** this is NerdOwl. NerdOwl this is ****." we smiled all cute at each other and shook hands and all that flirty shit we girls do. And then, out of nowhere, my awesome friend decides to lead with "so since you're a lesbian and you're bi, you two should go in a date!" -.- subtle, yeah? Anyway. I was up for it until I realized that miss priss was looking at me horrified. Upon questioning I got an answer as to why

"you're bi? Ugh, I can't believe this. Do you realize it's because of people like you that the lesbian and gay communities have such a bad rep? Pick a sex and stick to it. Don't be a whore for the rest of us. Besides, you don't count."

Lovely. Any thoughts?

 

[Jacqueline_]

You're better off without her, she sounds crazy. Maybe you are lucky to have avoided the worst date ever?

 

[Ohiorob]

What Jacqueline said about nailed it. You don't really need the hassle do ya?

Judgemental people come in all shapes and sizes.....they suck.

 

[NerdOwl]

You're better off without her, she sounds crazy. Maybe you are lucky to have avoided the worst date ever?

That's what I figured. I wasn't really bothered by her attitude towards me, but towards the bisexual community.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

The key word here is "Lesbian". While most lesbians will at least tolerate, and sometimes identify with gay men, they often have a hatred for bi or straight men. Lesbians can be among the most intolerant people on this planet. Don't fret about her attitude, she is most probably a head-case. Just consider that you dodged a bullet here.

 

[PurpleJade]

Thats just awful!! How rude and judgemental! You seriously don't need such a horrible person in your life.
She also contradicted herself there - if bi's don't count as a member of the 'gay and lesbian communities', how can you be giving them a bad name??
I just don't get why some people are so insistant that sexuality should be black or white, gay or straight.

 

[Jacqueline_]

Yeah, if anyone is at risk of imparting a bad rep, it's her.

How did you respond? Sounds like one of those situations in which I'd get all flustered and inarticulate, then later think of all the things I could've said.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I'm not agreeing with her, but I sure as hell take grave exception with the prior comment(s) that "the key word here is 'lesbian' "

WTF, dude! Judgmental based on prolly 0% experience much?



As for the rest of the comments, please understand that there is a bit of distrust of Bi's amongst the lesbian and gay communities. It doesn't apply to every, or even most Bi people, but there ARE a lot of posers who do the "I got drunk and made out with a chick just to turn on my boyfriend", a bunch of "I'll tell you I'm a lesbian/gay and then run home to my wife/husband after lying their ass off just to have sex" and a bunch of hedonistic "I'll fuck anything that moves" people who identify as Bi (and inherently can't truly identify as anything else.

On top of that there are many of us who choose not to have sex with men OR women that do. (To may of us that is WAY too close to fucking a man).

So, while I disagree with how she expressed it, I certainly can empathize with her probable "why".

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

I'm not agreeing with her, but I sure as hell take grave exception with the prior comment(s) that "the key word here is 'lesbian' "

WTF, dude! Judgmental based on prolly 0% experience much?.

It has been my experience when a person is introduced as gay or bisexual, they are usually tolerant of others and capable of engaging in good conversation; however, if a woman is introduced as lesbian, (particularly if she tends to dress somewhat masculine), at some point in the conversation, expect to hear hate and anger come out of her mouth.

Whether you like it or not, "DUDE", that has been my experience with women who identify themselves as lesbian!

 

[Saphs]

As for the rest of the comments, please understand that there is a bit of distrust of Bi's amongst the lesbian and gay communities. It doesn't apply to every, or even most Bi people, but there ARE a lot of posers who do the "I got drunk and made out with a chick just to turn on my boyfriend", a bunch of "I'll tell you I'm a lesbian/gay and then run home to my wife/husband after lying their ass off just to have sex" and a bunch of hedonistic "I'll fuck anything that moves" people who identify as Bi (and inherently can't truly identify as anything else.

On top of that there are many of us who choose not to have sex with men OR women that do. (To may of us that is WAY too close to fucking a man).

So, while I disagree with how she expressed it, I certainly can empathize with her probable "why".

I was going to reply with something along the same lines as above.

 

[HottieMama]

If you search the other bisexual threads here in this forum, you will see a lot more of the same opinions that were expressed to you. It sucks though, and like someone else said..you're better off without someone like that.

 

[CandiCame]

The other day I was strollin down the street (not really but the location isn't really relevant) and I bumped into some friends I hadnt seen in a while. We were chattin it ip and I noticed a new chick I hadnt met before. She was checkin me out so I took the liberty to do the same. My ever observant friend noticed and introduced us with "**** this is NerdOwl. NerdOwl this is ****." we smiled all cute at each other and shook hands and all that flirty shit we girls do. And then, out of nowhere, my awesome friend decides to lead with "so since you're a lesbian and you're bi, you two should go in a date!" -.- subtle, yeah? Anyway. I was up for it until I realized that miss priss was looking at me horrified. Upon questioning I got an answer as to why

"you're bi? Ugh, I can't believe this. Do you realize it's because of people like you that the lesbian and gay communities have such a bad rep? Pick a sex and stick to it. Don't be a whore for the rest of us. Besides, you don't count."

Lovely. Any thoughts?

Yeah, that's apparently a thing. I didn't know it either, but I think there are some folk who go gold star or go home.

Fuck it. That's my take on the whole thing. If someone can't accept you for who you are- fuck them. Move on. Relationships are only good if there's trust, respect, love, all that fun shit to build on- trying to 'convince' someone to like you is just retarded and, I've learned, a little stalker-y.

 

[janeyruth]

...do you realize it's because of people like you that the lesbian and gay communities have such a bad rep...

A bad rep with whom? The right wing Prop 8 crowd? They don't even know what "bi" is. The only people offended by the NerdOwls of this world are asshats like mizz priss who see her as potential competition for the few women willing to put up with her drama.

Just goes to show, there are plenty of haters in the gay community. And NerdOwl just flushed one out. Too bad she didn't flush her down...

 

[sdineen]

d

Nerd I am so very sorry. People have no class, to talk to you like some child that picked two cans of soda, you can only have one, instead of a woman engaged in the most important part of her life.
People should thank God for ypou

 

[Noira]

It's not the LGT community. You do very much count, and even those 'I kissed a girl just to turn on my boyfriend' ladies count as bi. The problem is that they do those things without being honest to their lesbian potential lovers and women get more emotionally attached, so there are hearts broken by the swinger, kissed-a-girl-and-I-liked-it bisexuals. It's no different than the "I'm just here for the cock" guys... in my opinion, it's a fetish, but it's still a little nick towards bisexual on the Kinsey scale.

People are worried their hearts will get broken, and worried that someone bisexual won't be satisfied without the other gender. People pigeonhole bisexuals and pansexuals into "polyamorous"... and polyamorous / attracted to multiple genders are mutually exclusive concepts, except where individuals make them overlap.

I wouldn't sleep with a lesbian who only wanted to sleep with other gold stars (unless she was still up for it knowing the whole ballpark). I've never had sex with a man, but I don't discount the possibility of being attracted to one. Or anyone, regardless of gender identity, though I'm not sure how many people who fall in the nill or genderqueer category post around here. At any rate, I'm monogamous and not so judgmental.

I couldn't fuck someone who was. If that means sticking to bi girls and pan girls, I'll get over it. I respect that hard limit of many lesbians, just like I respect that a straight girl won't want to sleep with me either.

Honestly, on the outside of the GLBT community, I hear more comments about lesbians being psycho feminists who hate men and or everyone than I do about bisexuals being polyamorous swingers who can't pick a side. So who's the one who ruined it for everyone? No one!

Because everyone is permitted their own sexual preferences, whether anyone fucking well likes it, and we all (assuming legality of posting on Literotical) live in a land of freedom of speech, where, why yes, I can chose to not fuck you for your weight, your hair color, your skin color, your sexuality, your dog, your clothes. your annoying accent. Funny thing is, if someone forces me to fuck you regardless of whatever inane choices I have that would make me decide not to want to fuck your myself, it's rape.

You're right, Owl, it sucks. But you saved yourself the trouble of finding out the hard way you wouldn't be compatible with her. She already knew she wasn't compatible with you because bisexuality is one of her hard limits. Sure, she was an asshole in how she told you, but it saved you heartache, and there's always going to be people who don't want you. Find the ones who do, and let the ones who don't find the ones for them. Both of you deserve the best possible partner for your individual self and individual needs. For her that's "a lesbian", for you that's... well, you'll find it.

 

[Safe_Bet]

It has been my experience when a person is introduced as gay or bisexual, they are usually tolerant of others and capable of engaging in good conversation; however, if a woman is introduced as lesbian, (particularly if she tends to dress somewhat masculine), at some point in the conversation, expect to hear hate and anger come out of her mouth.

Whether you like it or not, "DUDE", that has been my experience with women who identify themselves as lesbian!

Jebus! My are you just a little 'ol stereotyper, aint'cha!

How much experience do you have, BTW? Was it that you were asked to get your manly ass out of a dyke bar or was there some chick that told you she wanted nothing to do with your ass so she "must" be a lesbian?

 

[Safe_Bet]

Very well said Noira!

<3

 

[CandiCame]

It's not the LGT community. You do very much count, and even those 'I kissed a girl just to turn on my boyfriend' ladies count as bi. The problem is that they do those things without being honest to their lesbian potential lovers and women get more emotionally attached, so there are hearts broken by the swinger, kissed-a-girl-and-I-liked-it bisexuals. It's no different than the "I'm just here for the cock" guys... in my opinion, it's a fetish, but it's still a little nick towards bisexual on the Kinsey scale.

People are worried their hearts will get broken, and worried that someone bisexual won't be satisfied without the other gender. People pigeonhole bisexuals and pansexuals into "polyamorous"... and polyamorous / attracted to multiple genders are mutually exclusive concepts, except where individuals make them overlap.

I wouldn't sleep with a lesbian who only wanted to sleep with other gold stars (unless she was still up for it knowing the whole ballpark). I've never had sex with a man, but I don't discount the possibility of being attracted to one. Or anyone, regardless of gender identity, though I'm not sure how many people who fall in the nill or genderqueer category post around here. At any rate, I'm monogamous and not so judgmental.

I couldn't fuck someone who was. If that means sticking to bi girls and pan girls, I'll get over it. I respect that hard limit of many lesbians, just like I respect that a straight girl won't want to sleep with me either.

Honestly, on the outside of the GLBT community, I hear more comments about lesbians being psycho feminists who hate men and or everyone than I do about bisexuals being polyamorous swingers who can't pick a side. So who's the one who ruined it for everyone? No one!

Because everyone is permitted their own sexual preferences, whether anyone fucking well likes it, and we all (assuming legality of posting on Literotical) live in a land of freedom of speech, where, why yes, I can chose to not fuck you for your weight, your hair color, your skin color, your sexuality, your dog, your clothes. your annoying accent. Funny thing is, if someone forces me to fuck you regardless of whatever inane choices I have that would make me decide not to want to fuck your myself, it's rape.

You're right, Owl, it sucks. But you saved yourself the trouble of finding out the hard way you wouldn't be compatible with her. She already knew she wasn't compatible with you because bisexuality is one of her hard limits. Sure, she was an asshole in how she told you, but it saved you heartache, and there's always going to be people who don't want you. Find the ones who do, and let the ones who don't find the ones for them. Both of you deserve the best possible partner for your individual self and individual needs. For her that's "a lesbian", for you that's... well, you'll find it.

You win at this thread.

Much the way I assume you win at life.

 

[PurpleJade]

I understand what everyone is saying here. What I don't appreciate is people tarring everyone with the same brush. I prefer to decide what I think of a person one individual at a time, I try not to make assumptions. But yeah, some people who call themselves bi are just trying to turn their boyfriend on or are just in it for the sex, or aren't satisfied 'just' sleeping with women. BUT NOT ALL. Some lesbians are intolerant towards bis or men or whatever. BUT NOT ALL.
At the end of the day, we all have differing tastes/needs/values. I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't want to be with me. Yep I have had sex with men, if that turns you off, fair enough, thats your right. If I am not your type for any reason, then thats cool, I have my preferences also.
I don't want to sleep with a slut or someone who is just there to titilate their boyfriend.
I also dont want a relationship with anyone who is close-minded and intolerant.

But when expressing your preferences, the world would be a better place if this were done in a nicer way than the OP experienced.

 

[Les_Grossman]

Sounds like the standard "Angry Lesbian" stereotype to me. Her loss, I'm sure you would have had lots of fun together if she wasnt such a bitch.

 

[Stella_Omega]

It has been my experience when a person is introduced as gay or bisexual, they are usually tolerant of others and capable of engaging in good conversation; however, if a woman is introduced as lesbian, (particularly if she tends to dress somewhat masculine), at some point in the conversation, expect to hear hate and anger come out of her mouth.

Whether you like it or not, "DUDE", that has been my experience with women who identify themselves as lesbian!

Or at any rate a short sharp comment regarding something incredibly stupid that you've just said out of self-satisfied ignorance.

Which certainly sounds like "hate and anger" to the innocent and privileged.

Yes, there are some of us who have a lot of anger towards the heteronormatives and the folk who can so easily (it seems to us at any rate) jump back and forth. I don't know one, single lesbian woman who hasn't lost a lover to some dude-- a dude who could marry her legally, provide for her better with his better paycheck, or give her that baby she wanted, or fuck her with the dick a lesbian doesn't have. So yeah, bisexual women have a hard row to hoe around lesbian women.

Sorry, that's just the way it is. It's something worth keeping in mind however, for the next time you run into someone like that. You can cut your friend off, maybe before she shoves her foot into your mouth again.

 

[strapon_tales]

It's sad how prevalent that attitude is. All you're doing is doubling your chances of not dying alone. ;-)

 

[Stella_Omega]

It's sad how prevalent that attitude is. All you're doing is doubling your chances of not dying alone. ;-)

And that would be an excellent example of the kind of ignorant and self-satisfied comment that could make a lesbian say something sharp.

 

[strapon_tales]

And that would be an excellent example of the kind of ignorant and self-satisfied comment that could make a lesbian say something sharp.

It could, but luckily, there are no humourless fuckwits of that variety around here.

 

[Stella_Omega]

It could, but luckily, there are no humourless fuckwits of that variety around here.

example number eleventy-four...

Thousand.

This shit builds up.