Size Matters

[policywank]

I am curious to hear from men as to why this is something that some men simply won't face directly. We all have different preferences and the relevance of cock size varies based upon a variety of factors. But if I observe any other personal preference in a mate people would readily accept it at face value.....so much so that it is unlikely that we could sustain a thread about it. But somehow cock size immediately leads to a "ya but" response from so many people. Whatever comes after "ya but" may well be valid but it is used to deflect the matter.

If I guy said he prefers blonds in response to a direct question and I (who have dark hair) immediately respond with well brunettes can be pretty too, doesn't that suggest an unhealthy level of sensitivity....not because what I said is wrong but because it is so obviously defensive and off topic.

 

[cubbyfire04]

I am curious to hear from men as to why this is something that some men simply won't face directly. We all have different preferences and the relevance of cock size varies based upon a variety of factors. But if I observe any other personal preference in a mate people would readily accept it at face value.....so much so that it is unlikely that we could sustain a thread about it. But somehow cock size immediately leads to a "ya but" response from so many people. Whatever comes after "ya but" may well be valid but it is used to deflect the matter.

If I guy said he prefers blonds in response to a direct question and I (who have dark hair) immediately respond with well brunettes can be pretty too, doesn't that suggest an unhealthy level of sensitivity....not because what I said is wrong but because it is so obviously defensive and off topic.

An honest inquiry and well thought out... I bet most men don't face the issue directly simply because I'm not sure most men are actually as hyperfocused on our cock sizes as popular culture (or a sexual discussion message board) leads us to believe.

I'm not sure where it all began, but I think most men don't revel in the (shockingly common) misconception that dick size directly determines masculinity, virility, sexual proficiency, attractiveness to a mate, etc. Sure, some men may lack/gain a bit of confidence due to their size, but only because they've been told they should. I still think, in this case, correlation does not equal causation.

I have a smaller-than-average dick. For whatever reason, I've never dwelled on it. I've always shown up in the bedroom with confidence (even when in a submissive role), and have never once been led by a partner to believe I was lacking adequacy... With women or men.

The ONLY exception I've ever encountered was with a professional dominatrix, with whom I requested SPH in our session out of sheer curiosity. In fact, afterwards she told me I had a wonderful penis and she thinks that men who are super into SPH aren't really asking her to humiliate their cock. It's their ego (or lack thereof) they want to be punished for.

 

[Escierto]

An honest inquiry and well thought out... I bet most men don't face the issue directly simply because I'm not sure most men are actually as hyperfocused on our cock sizes as popular culture (or a sexual discussion message board) leads us to believe.

I'm not sure where it all began, but I think most men don't revel in the (shockingly common) misconception that dick size directly determines masculinity, virility, sexual proficiency, attractiveness to a mate, etc. Sure, some men may lack/gain a bit of confidence due to their size, but only because they've been told they should. I still think, in this case, correlation does not equal causation.

I have a smaller-than-average dick. For whatever reason, I've never dwelled on it. I've always shown up in the bedroom with confidence (even when in a submissive role), and have never once been led by a partner to believe I was lacking adequacy... With women or men.

The ONLY exception I've ever encountered was with a professional dominatrix, with whom I requested SPH in our session out of sheer curiosity. In fact, afterwards she told me I had a wonderful penis and she thinks that men who are super into SPH aren't really asking her to humiliate their cock. It's their ego (or lack thereof) they want to be punished for.

Exactly. Mine is probably average or slightly smaller than average. I always wished it was bigger even though none of the women in my life ever complained. With my girlfriend, I love the fact that her cock is a few inches bigger and I love being the one who gets to worship her beautiful cock. At last I have the big cock I always wanted!

 

[htobeme5]

Exactly. Mine is probably average or slightly smaller than average. I always wished it was bigger even though none of the women in my life ever complained. With my girlfriend, I love the fact that her cock is a few inches bigger and I love being the one who gets to worship her beautiful cock. At last I have the big cock I always wanted!

she is so beautiful, love for her to pee sperm all in my ass. I like dressing and feeling like a woman usally at least 4 days a week. Sperm is like beer. Some you can drink by the gallon, other so sour and salty, have to take small sips.

 

[policywank]

An honest inquiry and well thought out... I bet most men don't face the issue directly simply because I'm not sure most men are actually as hyperfocused on our cock sizes as popular culture (or a sexual discussion message board) leads us to believe.

I'm not sure where it all began, but I think most men don't revel in the (shockingly common) misconception that dick size directly determines masculinity, virility, sexual proficiency, attractiveness to a mate, etc. Sure, some men may lack/gain a bit of confidence due to their size, but only because they've been told they should. I still think, in this case, correlation does not equal causation.

I have a smaller-than-average dick. For whatever reason, I've never dwelled on it. I've always shown up in the bedroom with confidence (even when in a submissive role), and have never once been led by a partner to believe I was lacking adequacy... With women or men.

The ONLY exception I've ever encountered was with a professional dominatrix, with whom I requested SPH in our session out of sheer curiosity. In fact, afterwards she told me I had a wonderful penis and she thinks that men who are super into SPH aren't really asking her to humiliate their cock. It's their ego (or lack thereof) they want to be punished for.

It sounds like you and Escierto are facing the matter directly and/or just don't see it as an issue. That is great. You are probably right that men in general are not as focussed on it as pop culture and chat boards might imply.

Although when the discussion does come up I continue to be a bit surprised at the manner in which some guys deal with it. There is a hopefully minor vein of resistance and denial that is quite juvenile, but occasionally hostile towards women. None of us - male or female - connects with or sexually satisfies our partner every single time. There are any number of reasons for it, but that is just life.

 

[cubbyfire04]

It sounds like you and Escierto are facing the matter directly and/or just don't see it as an issue. That is great. You are probably right that men in general are not as focussed on it as pop culture and chat boards might imply.

Although when the discussion does come up I continue to be a bit surprised at the manner in which some guys deal with it. There is a hopefully minor vein of resistance and denial that is quite juvenile, but occasionally hostile towards women. None of us - male or female - connects with or sexually satisfies our partner every single time. There are any number of reasons for it, but that is just life.

It certainly is not without prevalence, and your last two sentences are perfectly stated.

 

[policywank]

It certainly is not without prevalence, and your last two sentences are perfectly stated.

Yes and I think it is with respect to those last two sentences that some guys slip into delusion. This subject often elicits a response like "I always make sure she cums." This is just silly. It is like a baseball player saying he/she bats 1.000 or Kim Jong Un telling everyone he got 16 out of 18 holes in one in a round of golf. Or guys that say "I've never had any complaints" as if that means every single woman was optimally satisfied rather than simply the woman seeing no reason to make a fuss or hurt the guy's feelings. These types of comments suggest a level of willful self-delusion that tends to be highly correlated with an inability or unwillingness to accept reality that is unhealthy. So when I say "that is just life" it could be that size was a factor. That doesn't mean it is always the case or the case with every woman. There is no need to dwell on it but nor is there a need to deny the possibility.

 

[Escierto]

Yes and I think it is with respect to those last two sentences that some guys slip into delusion. This subject often elicits a response like "I always make sure she cums." This is just silly. It is like a baseball player saying he/she bats 1.000 or Kim Jong Un telling everyone he got 16 out of 18 holes in one in a round of golf. Or guys that say "I've never had any complaints" as if that means every single woman was optimally satisfied rather than simply the woman seeing no reason to make a fuss or hurt the guy's feelings. These types of comments suggest a level of willful self-delusion that tends to be highly correlated with an inability or unwillingness to accept reality that is unhealthy. So when I say "that is just life" it could be that size was a factor. That doesn't mean it is always the case or the case with every woman. There is no need to dwell on it but nor is there a need to deny the possibility.

Well, the first transgender woman who ever fucked me had a small cock. Did I complain? No, but I certainly wished that she had been bigger. Nevertheless she had a lot of sexual energy and used that cock like a pro. My girlfriend has a big cock but she doesn’t have the same sexual drive as that first girl.

 

[lil_jenni]

Size does matter to me, but not how guys usually think it would. I'm not a very big girl, and my experience is that long penises can hurt if the guy doesn't know that he shouldn't slam it against my cervix. And I used to have a problem with thicker too, but that was mainly a relaxation thing. Before Hubby, I had to be buzzed or drunk to relax enough that even an average girth dick didn't hurt. Now, Hubby is probably a bit longer than average and is definitely thicker, but getting relaxed enough to be ready for him has never been an issue. That's part of the reason he's Hubby. He knows how to get me ready...

By the way, when giving head, I never had a concern with size. Sure, there were a few over the years I couldn't deepthroat because of length or girth or strange proportions/extreme curve. But I got them all off.

 

[policywank]

I think that for most women there is such a thing as too big and there is such a thing as too small, which means that on some level and in some way it matters, even if only a tiny bit. And if it comes right down to it most of us have some sort of preference, even if only slight.

Most women I know would say that all other things being equal their preferred size is above average. But that makes sense doesn't it? That is how most of us feel about most things. We may well date an average looking person or someone with an average income or of average intellect. That may be because they have many other wonderful qualities that are more important to us or it may be because they are the best candidate available to us. But that isn't the same as preferring average in any criteria.

 

[ItalianBWC]

Hello everyone, I would like to participate in this discussion too.

I think size matters in particular when we are referring to width and not so much to length. For normal reasons the length beyond a certain limit is useless and offers no advantage while the width can offer a woman a pleasure that otherwise she could not feel and be really happy.

I also think that the most important thing is the passion and erotic strength of the man and his love for the woman, dedicating totally! This is actually the real secret.

In Italy there is a proverb that says:
drink like an Irish, kiss like a italian.

 

[BBCfan]

I think that for most women there is such a thing as too big and there is such a thing as too small, which means that on some level and in some way it matters, even if only a tiny bit. And if it comes right down to it most of us have some sort of preference, even if only slight.

Most women I know would say that all other things being equal their preferred size is above average. But that makes sense doesn't it? That is how most of us feel about most things. We may well date an average looking person or someone with an average income or of average intellect. That may be because they have many other wonderful qualities that are more important to us or it may be because they are the best candidate available to us. But that isn't the same as preferring average in any criteria.

Exactly...I like to reverse it for clarity of importance from a guys perspective. I prefer a vagina to be on the smaller size, sensations are just more intense, yet I am very happy with my wife's vagina, even though it's on the larger size from my pool of comparison...still magical to be in and it's opened unexpected avenues of fantasy but from a purely physical sensation standpoint, a few super tight vaginas I experienced are pretty hot memories. Don't crave them or miss them though at all.

 

[BBCfan]

Hello everyone, I would like to participate in this discussion too.

I think size matters in particular when we are referring to width and not so much to length. For normal reasons the length beyond a certain limit is useless and offers no advantage while the width can offer a woman a pleasure that otherwise she could not feel and be really happy.

I also think that the most important thing is the passion and erotic strength of the man and his love for the woman, dedicating totally! This is actually the real secret.

In Italy there is a proverb that says:
drink like an Irish, kiss like a italian.

This makes sense, but I am above average more in length than width. Often could touch a woman's cervix when deep...for some women, the tapping of the cervix area in just the right spot would cause intense orgasms for them. Length has certainly been a welcome asset for me.

Both above average width and length can be a nice asset at times...but again, personal preference varies greatly I'm sure.

 

[phil1955]

I’ve had the conversation about size with my wife. She’s a bit of a size queen and says that anything under 7 inches to her is a small dick. I myself am about 5 inches erect or just slight over and somewhat girthy but I’m on the smaller end of average length wise. However she says that when you’re madly in love with a guy 5 inches can feel like 7 inches.

If they like the guy, they will make do with what he has. Do you encourage her to try some bigger ones?

 

[BBCfan]

I’ve had the conversation about size with my wife. She’s a bit of a size queen and says that anything under 7 inches to her is a small dick. I myself am about 5 inches erect or just slight over and somewhat girthy but I’m on the smaller end of average length wise. However she says that when you’re madly in love with a guy 5 inches can feel like 7 inches.

Yeah, my wife wouldn't say she is a size queen but she obviously is. She has handled many huge dicks in her past, most seemed to be in 8-10 range. I'm a good solid 7+ with 5.5 circumference which she considers very average from her experience. Anything under 7 she considers small too, and also says it shouldn't be called a big cock unless it's at least 9". I thought she was joking but was not at all, was just being very honest.
It makes sense as I can barely touch the spots that make her orgasm, so I can see how she wouldn't be satisfied with smaller.

 

[Mrmusings45]

and some of us like girth.
You can own an eighteen wheeler, but if you don't know how to drive it

I used to drive an 18 wheeler...oops, am I off-topic?

 

[BBCfan]

But if you do want to know the truth, I might tell you as long as you agree not to be a little bitch about it if you don't like the answer."

This is such an important point.
A lot of my ego was tied to my confidence as a lover and being nicely endowed.
When I asked my wife what she thought about my dick and how I measured up to past lovers she was VERY honest. Was a big hit to my ego, but I didn't let on at all. I asked, I appreciate honesty so I dealt with it.

Was helpful to move past my ego being fragile in that area, although it is some very old wiring that will always linger a bit I imagine.
It's opened up the cuck type fantasy, but I'm still very confidant and happy with my endowment and libido...just less attached to wanting or needing to be "the best" in my partners experience.

 

[Escierto]

If someone asked me as a bottom if size matters, I would say it depends.

If I want a big cock to fill my ass so I really feel full, then my girlfriend is perfect. Her cock is big and thick and you really feel like you are getting fucked when she thrusts in deep and hard. She puts her cum in so deep it never leaks out. I worship her big cock for its size and power.

OTOH, she only has the sexual energy to fuck once or twice a day. The first girl who fucked me had amazing sexual energy. Yes, her cock was small but she loved to fuck.

The first time she fucked me, she came in my ass but told me to be still, that she would get hard again. Sure enough, she got hard and fucked me some more, cumming in me again without her cock leaving my ass. That night she fucked me three more times cuming in my ass each time.

Of course the cum leaked out but what a lovely mess she made of the bed and my ass. God, that girl could fuck.

 

[Hipshot1554]

I would agree with this. Speaking purely for myself… let’s go with a scenario, okay? Let’s say I get fucked by three men, all of whom have the exact same diameter cock, but who are three different lengths: 4”, 6” and 9”. The 4” and 6” cocks are going to feel basically identical because I’ve got a cunt, not a graduated cylinder, so I can’t really measure exactly how deep something is. There are only three levels: not inside me, inside me, too far inside me. This last level? That’s where the 9” cock would be. Someone mentioned elsewhere in the thread that they had been able to induce powerful orgasms in their partners by hitting the partner’s cervix during penetration. I’m very happy for those women, and I’m sure they had a great time, but any contact with my cervix is a hard no for me. It feels very painful. I’ve had to refuse specific positions in the past because penetration was too deep and I couldn’t handle that contact with my cervix.
I suppose the moral of the story is to just find partners whose preferences match what you’re working with. If you have a big cock, go for one of the lovely ladies in this thread who have expressed a preference for that. If you have a smaller cock, go for someone like me who prefers that.

Perfectly honest and sensible answer...

 

[Islander55]

Each woman needs to understand what works for them and let their partner know how and why.

 

[CuMex1]

I would agree with this. Speaking purely for myself… let’s go with a scenario, okay? Let’s say I get fucked by three men, all of whom have the exact same diameter cock, but who are three different lengths: 4”, 6” and 9”. The 4” and 6” cocks are going to feel basically identical because I’ve got a cunt, not a graduated cylinder, so I can’t really measure exactly how deep something is. There are only three levels: not inside me, inside me, too far inside me. This last level? That’s where the 9” cock would be. Someone mentioned elsewhere in the thread that they had been able to induce powerful orgasms in their partners by hitting the partner’s cervix during penetration. I’m very happy for those women, and I’m sure they had a great time, but any contact with my cervix is a hard no for me. It feels very painful. I’ve had to refuse specific positions in the past because penetration was too deep and I couldn’t handle that contact with my cervix.
I suppose the moral of the story is to just find partners whose preferences match what you’re working with. If you have a big cock, go for one of the lovely ladies in this thread who have expressed a preference for that. If you have a smaller cock, go for someone like me who prefers that.

There’s a considerable amount of women out there who do like guys with average to smaller dicks, but they’re not as vocal as women who say they like guys with those big swinging dicks. This is somewhat refreshing to hear tbh.

 

[oneblueye]

Each woman needs to understand what works for them and let their partner know how and why.

i've yet to read truer words anywhere on this site.

 

[Islander55]

i've yet to read truer words anywhere on this site.

And it only took me 50 years to figure that one out.

 

[drobert44]

i've yet to read truer words anywhere on this site.

So true, Islander.

 

[oneblueye]

And it only took me 50 years to figure that one out.

well like "they" sometimes say:

"some learn sooner,
some learn later
some don't learn NUTTN at all."

at least people like you, me and a couple others here--, it may take a minute but we get it.