Silly question perhaps

[Big Ben IV]

Do not make me report my own thread. I simply cannot stand for any comments of a sexual nature. On an erotic literature site. Of all the nerve!

My apoligies, me and my dirty mind are going to get me into trouble again

 

[southern_gal]

My apoligies, me and my dirty mind are going to get me into trouble again

For some reason I feel as though I am being baited? Sort of like the spider to the fly scenerio? And just why are you called "big" ben? Is it your ears? oh you poor dear.

 

[Ferreus]

For some reason I feel as though I am being baited? Sort of like the spider to the fly scenerio? And just why are you called "big" ben? Is it your ears? oh you poor dear.

I hear the jaws of the trap closing on you Southern gal!

 

[southern_gal]

I hear the jaws of the trap closing on you Southern gal!

Not gonna fall for that old trick.

 

[Killjoy24]

Do not make me report my own thread. I simply cannot stand for any comments of a sexual nature. On an erotic literature site. Of all the nerve!

My gosh! We couldn't have that here! Someone call 911 LOL

 

[ttrfanatic]

And I probably used the wrong term really. I said "cyber" but in my mind I was really thinking of lots of things and not necessarily something that had such an overtly sexual meaning. I am also lumping naughty playful chatting, obvious hints, sharing secret desires and the like into that catagory. As I stated earlier, I have yet to and maybe never will actually chat with someone while allowing myself to really become aroused, but it still is an interesting topic.

I think you hit it on the head with this. You can obviously cyber with anyone but I think that you can be unattached if you are cybering with someone relatively new. How can you get really get attached to someone who you have just met let alone not even seen. Cybering to me is really about a fantasy, both giving and getting. Giving someone else what they fantasize about and getting the same in return. In a sense it comes down to roleplaying with a stranger.

I think we all love the excitement of the "hunt" and the thrill of the moment. Its that feeling that you get when you know you are giving someone else that ultimate pleasure (whether you really are or not). Cybering allows you to feel that rush of excitement without necessarily getting involved with anyone. Of course, this can all apply to someone you know but then that's where you are in danger of developing that attachment.

But when you are talking about something more long term such as flirting with others, a consistent PMing or IMing with the same people then I think you can definitely open up Pandora's box. This is when you will start developing those feelings of attachment.

So my 2 cents, for what it's worth, is that you can definitely cyber with someone without developing any kind of feelings for them as long as they are someone you don't know or know very well. But if you continue to chat, IM, PM or whatever with them over the long-term then the water becomes muddy so to speak.

 

[SkyMoonAbove]

realizing i was never ever going to meet them in real life kind of drew the line for me. it's just typed words.

 

[pfflyerhot]

silly question...

Thank you, amofiga, for your insightful reply. Everything makes perfect sense the way you describe. Just the other night I bumped right up against my own struggle to keep my sexual feelings from melding into emotional feelings... It's tough. Ya gotta remember who you are. Now... acting on those "emotional" feelings... that'll fuck ya up every dang time.
Truth be told, I like to bare my soul and seek insight into others' minds and hearts when I chat. I like to discuss... things like...like this: Hey op, I believe there are no silly questions, ya know..?

 

[southern_gal]

realizing i was never ever going to meet them in real life kind of drew the line for me. it's just typed words.

For me, Lit has given me something that I have never had before. Freedom to "act" or at the very least, say what I have always wanted to say. I have never been one to be a free spirit or even someone that flirts easily. Though I have only been here a few weeks I have met so many people here and IM that have been a lot of fun. I am hoping that what I am experiencing here will carry over into my real life and I can be more assertive and perhaps even ......dare I say it.......naughty? Like I have been saying, Maybe, Someday, Perhaps. And like Ms Moon said, knowing I will likely never meet someone (unless it is with the hubs along) has indeed helped draw that line.

 

[amofiga]

Thank you, amofiga, for your insightful reply. Everything makes perfect sense the way you describe. Just the other night I bumped right up against my own struggle to keep my sexual feelings from melding into emotional feelings... It's tough. Ya gotta remember who you are. Now... acting on those "emotional" feelings... that'll fuck ya up every dang time.
Truth be told, I like to bare my soul and seek insight into others' minds and hearts when I chat. I like to discuss... things like...like this: Hey op, I believe there are no silly questions, ya know..?

I see nothing wrong with baring your soul seeking insight. It's what's good about an anonymous bulletin board or anynomous PM/Cyber type interaction. It allows you to open up freely and if for whatever reason, the person on the other end decides to be cruel and make you feel foolish, then who cares. They don't know you. Don't work with you. Aren't married to you. It can be the perfect way to let out all those secret inner feelings and fantasies and share them with someone who is doing the same and there's virtually no risk of having to deal with them on a day to day basis. In some ways it's better than a therapist who will only listen and not share, and it's better than a bartender who may throw you out in the alley if he gets tired of listening to you.

 

[SkyMoonAbove]

For me, Lit had given me something that I have never had before. Freedom to "act" or at the very least, say what I have always wanted to say. I have never been one to be a free spirit or even someone that flirts easily. Though I have only been here a few weeks I have met so many people here and IM that have been a lot of fun. I am hoping that what I am experiencing here will carry over into my real life and I can be more assertive and perhaps even ......dare I say it.......naughty? Like I have been saying, Maybe, Someday, Perhaps. And like Ms Moon said, knowing I will likely never meet someone (unless it is with the hubs along) has indeed helped draw that line.

yep, it's all good clean fun.

 

[Rally99]

Used to chat with a wonderful woman in another state. Newly married, which is no excuse, most people would say that I was looking for something that was missing in my relationship at the time. I would disagree. We genuinely connected, and I saw it as nothing more than a cool 'pen pal' type of situation. We taked about our spouses, kids, life in general. We carried it a little far on more than a few occasions with the sexy talk. Many nights, I found myself sitting at my computer, rock hard and dripping wet just from our conversations. When I began to develop feelings for her, I had such an overwhelming feeling of guilt, that I sabotaged the friendship. She didn't deserve it but, my wife didn't deserve the deception either. My wife knew that I chatted with this woman and would even ask about her at times. She had no clue that we flirted to the extent that we did.
All my fault, and I accept that. I still say "Hi" to her online but am ashamed that I couldn't keep my feelings in check. Have no idea how she feels about our history.

 

[njlauren]

There is a danger to cyber with emotions, IME it tends to be more women than men who fall into this, but it can happen to anyone. If you go into an online role play chat room or a chat room and do some sort of cyber sex with someone, I don't think it is likely you are going to get emotionally involved, it is two people sharing a fantasy so to speak, getting off, whatever...where the problem is when it becomes regular, when instead of being 'whore-knee4u' and "hot babe4u" it becomes Tom talking to Elaine, and they start sharing things about their lives, loves, interests, where it isn't just cyber sex but flirting, exchanging terms of endearment, whatever that the problem happens. It is unlikely that a one shot sex chat on some chat system is going to interfere much in real life; but when you start exchanging e-mails, or texts, or loginto AIM or Yahoo messenger and chat regularly, it can cause problems,because the other end is now a person. More importantly, it is usually then IME where it interferes in the real life relationship, you spend time talking to the other person and not your own mate, and worse, you start comparing a cyber pal with a real person (yep, its silly, but it is also easy to do), and that is where it gets to be a problem. Cybersex can be fun, it can be a way to play with things we otherwise wouldn't do (sort of living out a lit story virtually), but it also can turn into something more real then not or it can be you prefer the world of cyber sex and such because it isn't so messy or intimidating as real life

 

[southern_gal]

I had pretty much decided even before I took the step to join the forums that cybering just wasn't going to happen. I am a gatherer of information. Always have been and sometimes to the extreme. I do enjoy hearing what others have to say and finding threads that ask questions that I have not thought of or too embarassed to ask. I have only been around a short time but I have so enjoyed the people that I have met and most of the interactions. I could see where it would be so easy to cross a line that I never intended to cross. I am not going to say that I would never cross that line either but that is my intention. There are a select few that already have made an impression on me and I must admit that when I signed off of Lit after chatting with them, I just might have grabbed my vibrator. (might have - not gonna confirm it though)