Shoot Me Now

[BlackShanglan]

I've written a bloody mirror scene.

The worst part is that I didn't even notice I was doing it.

It's all over, isn't it?

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

Yep! Just give in and start writing bosom-heaving historical romances. why fight it?

 

[AppleBiter]

Haven't we all written a mirror scene at some point?

 

[rgraham666]

I don't understand about the mirror scene thing.

Really I don't.

 

[minsue]

I don't understand about the mirror scene thing.

Really I don't.

Cheap trick for descriptions, but as a reader I never even noticed them until seeing constant complaints about them here.

Shanglan, do you need a flogging?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Thank fucking God! Today I just realized I'd almost done the same thing. I had just started patting myself on the back. "See, Scarlett, you're not such a hack after all." and then it happened.

It was only a scene where my character is inspecting her hairdo in the rearview mirror of the car before a date. I didn't even say a mirror was involved, but it's implied in the inspecting of the hair.

Odessa took off the ugly navy blue work smock and tossed it in the seat of her dad's Dodge pick-up. She carefully inspected her strawberry blonde hair, which was still up in a ponytail from work. The hair would need a little work before her date with Travis LaTempt later that night. Travis was the bright spot in her life; a little ray of All-Conference sunshine.

*whimper* Can I get away with that or not?

 

[BlackShanglan]

Shanglan, do you need a flogging?

God, yes. But then, that's pretty much always true.

 

[AppleBiter]

God, yes. But then, that's pretty much always true.

A horsey after my own heart.

 

[Dar~]

God, yes. But then, that's pretty much always true.

Shuckins, Beat me to it. Shang ALWAYS needs a flogging.

 

[rgraham666]

Cheap trick for descriptions, but as a reader I never even noticed them until seeing constant complaints about them here.

Oh. It's one of those 'proper way to write' things.

I'll ignore it then.

 

[BlackShanglan]

My shame before the world:

He sighed, pushing down his irritation. It wasn’t Hec, really. He was a decent enough old boy and not demanding – a lot lighter trade than the docks, and a regular you could count on was something to be thankful for, his time of life. He glanced into a darkened window, his gaze flicking automatically over face and hair. Not old, but the wrong side of twenty for this trade. He paused a moment longer, scrutinizing himself. Then he scowled, tore off the ridiculous frilled cravat and stuffed it in his pocket, and jerked his shirt sleeves up and his jacket sleeves down to cover the flaunting line of lace at the cuff. God damnit, he looked like some tarted-up little doll. He was sick of being on the tout.

I suppose I can plead a few mitigating factors - he really would look at his reflection if only for purely professional reasons, there's no reference to how delicious he looks, and the phrases "worked out" and "twenty years younger" do not appear - thankfully, on the last, or he'd look two.

Still. It's there. Worse yet, it's probably staying.

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

My shame before the world:



I suppose I can plead a few mitigating factors - he really would look at his reflection if only for purely professional reasons, there's no reference to how delicious he looks, and the phrases "worked out" and "twenty years younger" do not appear - thankfully, on the last, or he'd look two.

Still. It's there. Worse yet, it's probably staying.

Shanglan

I like it.

I see nothing objectionable about it.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Thank fucking God! Today I just realized I'd almost done the same thing. I had just started patting myself on the back. "See, Scarlett, you're not such a hack after all." and then it happened.

It was only a scene where my character is inspecting her hairdo in the rearview mirror of the car before a date. I didn't even say a mirror was involved, but it's implied in the inspecting of the hair.



*whimper* Can I get away with that or not?

Yes. I think it's fine, and not because I love you.

 

[minsue]

Oh. It's one of those 'proper way to write' things.

I'll ignore it then.

Good idea.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Oh. It's one of those 'proper way to write' things.

I'll ignore it then.

No, it's more one of those "scene that's been beaten to death" things. That is, it's not a theory that there is one correct way to write a description - only an observation that I personally would rather read the text of an Oral Roberts sermon than one more scene of a 38-DD redhead stepping out of the shower and gazing adoringly into the mirror while gushing about her perfect waist, her improbable tits, her daily workout, and her resemblance to a woman half her age. The male version lingers on his pecs, abs, and ass, but is otherwise indistinguishable. Vapid self-absorption is generally the key note, along with an apparent desire on the author's part to get all of that pesky description out of the way at one go.

Hypocrisy has the most unpleasant flavor imaginable.

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

Shang, what's tout? (last word... may want to rethink?)

 

[minsue]

My shame before the world:



I suppose I can plead a few mitigating factors - he really would look at his reflection if only for purely professional reasons, there's no reference to how delicious he looks, and the phrases "worked out" and "twenty years younger" do not appear - thankfully, on the last, or he'd look two.

Still. It's there. Worse yet, it's probably staying.

Shanglan

It needs a "looks pretty damn good for his age"....

 

[BlackShanglan]

I like it.

I see nothing objectionable about it.

I love you for so many things, but your unquestionable literary acumen is my favorite.

 

[elsol]

Haven't we all written a mirror scene at some point?

No.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I suppose I can plead a few mitigating factors - he really would look at his reflection if only for purely professional reasons, there's no reference to how delicious he looks, and the phrases "worked out" and "twenty years younger" do not appear - thankfully, on the last, or he'd look two.

Still. It's there. Worse yet, it's probably staying.

Shanglan

Shouldn't there be something about him stroking his 12" penis fully erect?
I think it's fine and I probably wouldn't have noticed it in a story. Unless there had been a comment about working out.

oh, and thanks Carson.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Shang, what's tout? (last word... may want to rethink?)

In this context, he's a rent boy/on the game/male prostitute. I think it will work out in the full text, as he's just come from a scene where that is made quite unavoidably clear.

Shanglan

 

[BlackShanglan]

No.

Sincerely,
ElSol

Bite me.

Sincerely,

Shanglan


(Actually I rather love you, but bite me anyway. No, harder. Ahh, yes.)

 

[AppleBiter]

Bite me.

Sincerely,

Shanglan

LMAO Now that was funny!

 

[minsue]

Bite me.

Sincerely,

Shanglan

. .

 

[LadyJeanne]

Hypocrisy has the most unpleasant flavor imaginable.

Shanglan

Would that be better or worse than lust custard?




(Your window scene is nothing at all like the dreaded mirror scene.)