Shay...

[nh23]

There's a site called CafeMom, and it's BDSM-related?

Well it has all different types of forums on it. I'm on a forum there for parents of children with ADHD. I'm not sure what all different one's there are, but there are a lot.

 

[intothewoods]

CafeMom is a parenting site. There are several group on there related to BDSM

Really? Sounds good...depending on who's there, I suppose.

 

[Netzach]

Guess i will piss you all off, but someway i do understand her.....

I really think she went thro some rough time in the past and she's dealing with it her own way, wrong way yes, but hey nobody's perfect- isn't it truth ladies? Plus none of us REALLY know why she's like this........ (not like you sounded you give a shit about it anyways LOL)

I spoke with her on MSN and yes she's a member on CafeMom. I dunno what she posted there tho and i dont care either tbh. If she's abusing the advice you all gave her? its laffable IMO. But at least she's giving them a good advice from experienced peeps, stolen words yes, but better than if she tryed advice peeps on her own while she knows so less about BDSM yet.

I still don't think she's SO BAD as you all make it sound tho, i think she just need a good leading and i am sure she's looking for it.

I am sorry, but i must agree with her on one thing. Sub's from Lit webby aint much friendly to new faces. I totaly agree with Shay on this one!!

And i don't say Lit webby is bad now!! I love this webby, i think its lots of good reading here and some cool peeps around as well. I am just saying its hard to find here someone to talk too, especialy between the sub's.

I think me and Shay are alike, i know i am a sub tho. She's still confused and looking for the place where she would fit, i know that feeling very well.

I don't say the sub's on this site are bad! Its mostlikely just me and her having a hard time with finding new friends. I can't bitch her for it, i have the same prob so i do understand her.

If she's abusing ur words thats bad yes, i am sure soon or later she will realise it. Maybe she just wanna look good infront of her Dom? who knows... I liked her posts tho and i still do. And acording the replies she had on the threads she've started it seems u liked her posts as well??

Yes Shay does talk with some Lit Dom's and so do i sometimes, and why not? I am sorry, but the Dom's are obviously more friendly than you do. That's sad, but true...


peace

I got the magic PM. I'm assuming it never went further because she had a totally different concept of what a Domme submitting to one person might be like than what she got in me.

I'm totally disappointing to anyone expecting my orientation to yield a hard headed "make me take me throw me to the floor or you don't get none" kind of thing. Utterly. Which, while not my thing, I can respect to a certain degree - as long as that person eventually gets past that point. Otherwise you're just the emotional equivalent of the John Cleese black night in the Holy Grail and have nothing to do but fight with anyone and everyone for all time even with your legs chopped off - those people never DO meet their "conqueror" because it gets too boring for mortal men.

I've never been anything less than above board and friendly to newbs. If a little awkward when someone does PM me for advice (haha) I get along better with femsubs than with most other segments of the kink world, and yet, my advice and my info is worthless to some people because I don't have a dick. And advice is really an ice breaker for dick. I'm sorry, I spend a lot of time online and I have a husband.

How much of the time do you see me dropping questions about how to dominate him better and how to get along with him at all, seriously having no idea? Not much. I'm happy with what I have and I have those convos with him.

I see it over and over again "thank you kind SIRS" - in a thread in which I've posted advice to the same effect. If you have some male supremacist thing going, please let the rest of us know what we have to say doesn't apply on your magic planet in advance. Thx.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Oh..let me get out my hip waders for this one. If you think this forum is unfriendly, please go over to the General Board where you will promptly ripped a new asshole. There are many of us "subbys" here that are VERY friendly and welcoming. Perhaps you have not had that experience, but i can think of several "new people" that have made friends here and are well liked by all. (subkitty and sexycaz come to mind off hand.)

Please do not paint us all as uptight, meanies with sticks up our asses. Most of us have been here a while and have good bullshit detectors. Many of us were wary of Shay from the beginning, and it turns out we were right to be.

Yes, guess i just don't have that kind of experience..... plus my bullshit detector suck.

I know you are the friendly one HottieMama, cant say the same about much more sub's tho. And NO i wont go to the General Board! I like it here.

You said your opinion - i said mine, prolly crap one but mine....soz

 

[Netzach]

Well it has all different types of forums on it. I'm on a forum there for parents of children with ADHD. I'm not sure what all different one's there are, but there are a lot.

OMG, if you ever start a segment for wives of people with ADHD who were undiagnosed till adulthood, please let me know.

 

[Homburg]

This board, and the people on it, are some of the most welcoming and friendly folk that I've found anywhere on the Net. I'm a scrubby newb, and made a two line post about a loss in my life. I lost count of how many PM's I received from caring people offering me some sympathy of a friendly face. Unfortunately, that very openness can lead to abuse.

I'm the sort of person that pets stray kittens, and I've rescued more than one lost dog. People like Shay remind me of those lost dogs. That said, I see nothing wrong with villifying her for her actions. Bad dogs get punished, lost or not.

Makes me wonder if she used any of my words, as I was one of those that spoke with her too...

 

[nh23]

OMG, if you ever start a segment for wives of people with ADHD who were undiagnosed till adulthood, please let me know.

LOL.. that I will. I know how difficult it can be to have a child with it. I can't imagine if I had to deal with my Husband having it too..

 

[nh23]

This board, and the people on it, are some of the most welcoming and friendly folk that I've found anywhere on the Net. I'm a scrubby newb, and made a two line post about a loss in my life. I lost count of how many PM's I received from caring people offering me some sympathy of a friendly face. Unfortunately, that very openness can lead to abuse.

I'm the sort of person that pets stray kittens, and I've rescued more than one lost dog. People like Shay remind me of those lost dogs. That said, I see nothing wrong with villifying her for her actions. Bad dogs get punished, lost or not.

Makes me wonder if she used any of my words, as I was one of those that spoke with her too...

I agree. I've lurked at many, many different forums, but this is the only one I've ever felt comfortable enough to post on.

 

[intothewoods]

I got the magic PM. I'm assuming it never went further because she had a totally different concept of what a Domme submitting to one person might be like than what she got in me.

I'm totally disappointing to anyone expecting my orientation to yield a hard headed "make me take me throw me to the floor or you don't get none" kind of thing. Utterly. Which, while not my thing, I can respect to a certain degree - as long as that person eventually gets past that point. Otherwise you're just the emotional equivalent of the John Cleese black night in the Holy Grail and have nothing to do but fight with anyone and everyone for all time even with your legs chopped off - those people never DO meet their "conqueror" because it gets too boring for mortal men.

I've never been anything less than above board and friendly to newbs. If a little awkward when someone does PM me for advice (haha) I get along better with femsubs than with most other segments of the kink world, and yet, my advice and my info is worthless to some people because I don't have a dick. And advice is really an ice breaker for dick. I'm sorry, I spend a lot of time online and I have a husband.

How much of the time do you see me dropping questions about how to dominate him better and how to get along with him at all, seriously having no idea? Not much. I'm happy with what I have and I have those convos with him.

I see it over and over again "thank you kind SIRS" - in a thread in which I've posted advice to the same effect. If you have some male supremacist thing going, please let the rest of us know what we have to say doesn't apply on your magic planet in advance. Thx.

There are so many gems in that post, I don't know where to begin!

 

[HottieMama]

Really? Sounds good...depending on who's there, I suppose.

It is good...It's nice to have a place to talk about the issues/difficulties that come up with being a prent and also in the "lifestyle."

 

[Netzach]

I agree. I've lurked at many, many different forums, but this is the only one I've ever felt comfortable enough to post on.

I'm glad about that.

I do think it worth mentioning that we're getting some really cool noobage lately, too. Some people are also getting on this weird auto-jaded mode and it's not right.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I am sorry, but i must agree with her on one thing. Sub's from Lit webby aint much friendly to new faces. I totaly agree with Shay on this one!!



peace

And she is living proof of why some of us wait and see...after awhile you begin to realise you don't have to continue laying yourself out for evey faceless name on the screen, similar to in RL really. As to your support and opinion of her, all I will say is it doesn't surprise me. I actually think you could become very good friends.

Catalina

 

[nh23]

And she is living proof of why some of us wait and see...after awhile you begin to realise you don't have to continue laying yourself out for evey faceless name on the screen, similar to in RL really. As to your support and opinion of her, all I will say is it doesn't surprise me. I actually think you could become very good friends.

Catalina

Hmm...lol. I'm not even going to touch that one, beyond saying that I agree Cat.

 

[Netzach]

There are so many gems in that post, I don't know where to begin!

Aw, thanks hon.
That was precaffeinated blurting to me, but I'm glad if it came out remotely intelligible.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Yes Shay does talk with some Lit Dom's and so do i sometimes, and why not? I am sorry, but the Dom's are obviously more friendly than you do. That's sad, but true...


peace

LOL, what you will learn is that there are friendly Lit Doms and there are also some who are after all men, and if you blatently advertise your interest and go out of your way to speak privately with them when they send out their feelers, they are going to respond. Everyone is different, but for me I am very taken and any conversation I have with males is on a certain level and not constant, and I might add, with the approval of F. If I began asking to be contacted by males and began getting a list of ones I talked to on a very regular basis, and especially if it crossed understood boundaries we have, I am sure not only would F question if I was happy being owned, but I would question if I was where I should be. It is my way and not everyone agrees or lives it but when I am in a serious relationship I don't go looking for the company of other men online or off.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

I talk to Lit Doms.

The only MDoms I've ever had really good long conversations with RL or web or anywhere have been guys from lit. Maybe something in the water.

Then again the rarity of male subs/bottoms here is interesting. I've had equally as good convos with guys on a FemDom oriented board, once wading through the piles of "may I kiss your divine ass GODDESS" stuff.

 

[HottieMama]

LOL, what you will learn is that there are friendly Lit Doms and there are also some who are after all men, and if you blatently advertise your interest and go out of your way to speak privately with them when they send out their feelers, they are going to respond. Everyone is different, but for me I am very taken and any conversation I have with males is on a certain level and not constant, and I might add, with the approval of F. If I began asking to be contacted by males and began getting a list of ones I talked to on a very regular basis, and especially if it crossed understood boundaries we have, I am sure not only would F question if I was happy being owned, but I would question if I was where I should be. It is my way and not everyone agrees or lives it but when I am in a serious relationship I don't go looking for the company of other men online or off.

Catalina

i completely agree with this post.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

And she is living proof of why some of us wait and see...after awhile you begin to realise you don't have to continue laying yourself out for evey faceless name on the screen, similar to in RL really. As to your support and opinion of her, all I will say is it doesn't surprise me. I actually think you could become very good friends.

Catalina

You are the bigest prove of what i said about Lit sub's Cat heh.... nvm, and yes me and Shay are friends. I like her and i dont mind what you think about it. She was the only sub who was easy to start talk with while you are the living prove of the oposite i talk about.

You was the first sub i asked if i could talk with you when i was looking for some sub female friend, thank you for ur reply which never came....

I agree with Homburg on this one - Shay is kinda like a lost dog, living on exile. The reason i understand her is prolly i feel like one too and it honestly does not suprise me that especialy you don't understand it.

 

[nh23]

You are the bigest prove of what said about Lit sub's Cat heh.... nvm, and yes me and Shay are friends. I like her and i dont mind what you think about it. She was the only sub who was easy to start talk with while you are the living prove of the oposite i talk about.

You was the first sub i asked if i could talk with you when i was looking for some sub female friend, thank you for ur reply which never came....

I agree with Homburg on this one - Shay is kinda like a lost dog, living on exile. The reason i understand her is prolly i feel like one too and it honestly does not suprise me that especialy you don't understand it.

I happen to disagree, with what I could understand anyway. I'm not trying to be rude, BiaTcHiNFiRe, your posts are just really hard for me to understand. I've found it very easy to talk to others here. Cat gives some very valuable advice, granted it may not be what " you want to hear" but it's sound advice from an experienced person.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

LOL, what you will learn is that there are friendly Lit Doms and there are also some who are after all men, and if you blatently advertise your interest and go out of your way to speak privately with them when they send out their feelers, they are going to respond. Everyone is different, but for me I am very taken and any conversation I have with males is on a certain level and not constant, and I might add, with the approval of F. If I began asking to be contacted by males and began getting a list of ones I talked to on a very regular basis, and especially if it crossed understood boundaries we have, I am sure not only would F question if I was happy being owned, but I would question if I was where I should be. It is my way and not everyone agrees or lives it but when I am in a serious relationship I don't go looking for the company of other men online or off.

Catalina

Whats the difference in talking to sub's or Dom's please? cuz i am not looking for men for dirty talk thank you. I got no need to do so, my needs are met. I still have a need talk to peeps tho yes. To peeps who like same things as i do. Reason i spoke with few Dom's was cuz i am trying to understand the Dom mindset better or when i needed some advice about something.

I am in a serious relationship too and i am glad my Master trust me enough to alowe me talk to other Dom's. I got no need to sexchat with the Dom's i talk with, so i dont care how much they are men except being Dom's. It's not what i am looking for when i ask someone for advice. Nuthing exciting about what we talk about, so i am not worried me or them would think different. Every Dom i talk with is told i am owned and they respect that, so do i.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

I happen to disagree, with what I could understand anyway. I'm not trying to be rude, BiaTcHiNFiRe, your posts are just really hard for me to understand. I've found it very easy to talk to others here. Cat gives some very valuable advice, granted it may not be what " you want to hear" but it's sound advice from an experienced person.

I am sorry if m posts are hard for you to understand, my english is not that good as i would like too and i find it hard to express what i would really like to say, i am a bad speaker i know that, but i am trying. Peeps like Cat just dont make it any easier for me.

But yes i see her reply as advice from experienced person IMO, i never said different! I am just sayin its hard to find a sub female friend here, at least for me its hard, guess i suck

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Really? Sounds good...depending on who's there, I suppose.

To quote you.. you crack my shit up.

 

[HottieMama]

Whats the difference in talking to sub's or Dom's please? cuz i am not looking for men for dirty talk thank you, i go no need to do so, my needs are met. I still have a need talk to peeps tho yes. To peeps who like same things as i do. Reason i spoke with few Dom's was cuz i am trying to understand the Dom mindset better or when i needed some advice about something.

I am in a serious relationship too and i am glad my Master trust me enough to alowe me talk to other Dom's. I got no need to sexchat with the Dom's i talk with, so i dont care how much they are men except being Dom's. It's not what i am looking for when i ask someone for advice. Nuthing exciting about what we talk about, so i am not worried me or them would think different. Every Dom i talk with is told i am owned and they respect that, so do i.

For ME, it is not a trust issue, it is a loyality/respect issue. If i want a Dom's opinion on a issue, i can make a post here...or...even better...Ask LC himself. LC is very clear that any "new" close friendships with males need to be approved by him first, especially if they are Doms. That's not because he doesn't trust me. It is because he wants to know who is in my life, and be able to monitor that. After all, HE is the one training me to be the best little one/slave for him....not some random Dom on Lit.

 

[ecstaticsub]

As someone who is relatively new here I think most of the women and men-both dominant and submissive have been very friendly on the board. It was VERY obvious to me that Shay only wanted to hear what the males had to say and was often rude or ignored most comments from submissive females. So I just started to ignore her.

I am on a few message boards, moderator on one, a regular and old-timer on another. This board is a little different than other sex-related sites I am on. Not unfriendly, but a certain obvious cautiousness. I'm not complaining, it is understood. I would also assume that many of th submissives are like myself and are extremely busy in their off-line worlds which makes forging friendships a little difficult.

(one other thing about this board, my first solely BDSM board, is that on other boards even when you say you are collared or owned men start pming/IMing you like crazy. It is like being owned makes you even more attractive..lol I hope it is just because men here are more respectful and not that I have come across in a negative way that very few people ever pm me LOL )

I have found this place to be full of great information and wonderfully supportive...

 

[alexanna]

Newb Opinion

My unexpert opinion is she's a classic Narcissist. I have encountered and recognized it in only 2 others, one my husband's youngest brother and the other my sisters first husband.

They are fascinating to observe but infuriating to actually try and interact with in a meaningful way.

Alot of the info about Narcissistic Personality Disorder on the net is not totally accurate and would seem to indicate a sub could never be one. That is not true. Narcissists are all about using other people and their reactions to them as mirrors. They constantly remake themselves then look in the mirror (ie the other person's reactions to them) for gratification. Dr. Sam Vaknin has written some good info and I believe you can find several chapters of his book "Malignant Self Love" for free on the web. He is a Narcissist himself and has a unique perspective.

Best thing to do...walk away and completely ignore it. Its all about attention and that's pretty much the bottom line. It's also considered to be incurable by the psyche community.

I pretty much stopped communicating with her shortly after we became "friends" and she was "mentoring" me which was really just a joke.

The other board is for people less clueless than herself to worship her. In time they will figure it out as well if they haven't already.

Anyway just my 2 cents.