Shay...

[HottieMama]

I hate that.. I really do. But, the things she is doing are just not right. She has no idea how much she can be impacting others who are new to the lifestyle over there.

No...and i agree...ESPECIALLY since she has used my group as a sounding board for questions/commentary

 

[nh23]

My dom had a few PM's from her, and she even sent him the link to her forum telling him to feel free to give it to me. I glanced at it but don't have time for a new forum in my life. My Sir is a very helpful and kind to newbies and when she PMed with questions he answered.

I had a PM conversation with her once and even gave her my IM name so that we could chat. I have been too busy to open IM, and frankly we both developed not so good vibes. We believe in listening to our feelings about people, especially those we interact with online.

At first I thought all the new threads were funny and coming from someone naive and seeking attention. But after reading that she has been bad mouthing people from here that is just plain childish.

I'm glad that you listened to your feelings and didn't get caught up in the mess. She made it very clear to me that the Dom's were very kind to her *shrugs* Not sure if that's BS too or not. Her problem was mostly with the other Sub's.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm glad that you listened to your feelings and didn't get caught up in the mess. She made it very clear to me that the Dom's were very kind to her *shrugs* Not sure if that's BS too or not. Her problem was mostly with the other Sub's.

LOL, well she did make a comment that she only had male Doms to talk to online and how much she would prefer to have some female subs to talk to...I did mention to someone in conversation that from my POV, given she posted asking for Doms to PM her and is supposedly an adult who makes the choice to respond to the male Doms when she doesn't have to, that it seemed fairly silly to be complaining and obvious she was quite happy with the situation ut wanted to paint a different picture...she does have a major 'poor me' complex which always rubs me the wrong way though.

Catalina

 

[saw_man1]

One Question

Is she
Dom □
Or
Sub □

 

[nh23]

Wow... that's terribly sad on many many levels.

Looking at this from a very detached logical standpoint, it's possible the whole thing could be seen as a rather extreme form of "sub frenzy"... a passionate desire to "spread the gospel" of kink, if you will. Sad, but almost understandable.

If one were more cynical, it could easily be seen as a calculated effort... a stepping stone to (eventually) building a BDSM website. Cold and lazy; not very understandable at all.

In a distant sort of way, I can feel myself rather pissed off to find my advice to Shay was plagerized (even though I don't have a lot of energy to waste on that, at the moment). I spent *years* getting to a place where I was capable of giving that sort of advice; I'm sitting here thinking my personal life is falling apart, in the midst of that I still reached out to help someone else "starting their journey" (and was told how mean I was being by a few forum regulars, in the process)... and it was all a scam. Sigh. I do hope her posts elsewhere about how badly she was treated by the Lit BDSM boards, will pique people's curiosity, and they'll lurk long enough to discover this place can be a treasure trove of knowledge and experience, then join the conversations here... Sadly, it's more likely she'll burn through a few more online forums. (I seem to remember she was asking for more resources at some point...)

Interesting historical sidenote, the stealing of knowledge [books], is considered one of the most heinous crimes possible, and [if you believe such things] carries a terrible terrible curse that will doom the thief to the darkest pits of Hell. Plagerists don't share the same pit, but they live on the same block... I like to believe the same curses apply, even if the medium used is electronic, rather than ink and vellum.

Back to being quiet...

(edited to fix a grammar typo)

I'm so glad to see you posting again Cutie. I have really missed seeing your posts.
I myself have been guilty of thinking that some people were met with some rather harsh comments on here. Now I see why. I haven't been here nearly as long as most of you, and it just took that one person being an ass to make me realize why others get so frustrated. Yeah, hopefully the same curses apply..lol. But, if not there's always Karma....

 

[nh23]

LOL, well she did make a comment that she only had male Doms to talk to online and how much she would prefer to have some female subs to talk to...I did mention to someone in conversation that from my POV, given she posted asking for Doms to PM her and is supposedly an adult who makes the choice to respond to the male Doms when she doesn't have to, that it seemed fairly silly to be complaining and obvious she was quite happy with the situation ut wanted to paint a different picture...she does have a major 'poor me' complex which always rubs me the wrong way though.

Catalina

Yes she does, and I'm not sure if the horrible things she claims have happened to her have or not. It appealed to my caring nature, even though it really seemed like BS. If she has really had things so rough, I really do feel for her. Looking back on everything though she does have attention seeking behavior. It's really sad that some people feel they have to be this way to find companionship.

 

[sexymom]

what cafemom group is she in?

 

[sexycaz22]

What makes it even worse to me is that while she is passing this information off as her own, the whole time she is bitching about how horrible Lit is.

To me, that is the worse thing to do. I hate talking behind people's backs, pretty much bitching behind their backs as well. Yes, I do talk about other people with my friends, but ALWAYS in a concerned way; i.e. I am worried for her, as such and such.

So, again, I could see why you were so upset by this, and I am sorry you have had the blunt of this, along with a few others.

(And I am also glad to see Cutie posting...I liked her posts; and she usually have good advice to offer!)

 

[nh23]

No...and i agree...ESPECIALLY since she has used my group as a sounding board for questions/commentary

Aww.. I'm sorry. She's everywhere isn't she? Lol...

 

[nh23]

Is she
Dom □
Or
Sub □

LOL... If you figure it out please share with the rest of us.

 

[nh23]

what cafemom group is she in?

Different Loving

 

[HottieMama]

Aww.. I'm sorry. She's everywhere isn't she? Lol...

Nothing to be sorry for...LOL....and yeah..everywhere...like fungus.


Seriously, when i saw that she applied for my group i was honestly excited to let her in. Most of the women there are "beginners," and they are very welcoming/accepting. i just HATE feeling like i was being taken advantage of.

 

[nh23]

Nothing to be sorry for...LOL....and yeah..everywhere...like fungus.


Seriously, when i saw that she applied for my group i was honestly excited to let her in. Most of the women there are "beginners," and they are very welcoming/accepting. i just HATE feeling like i was being taken advantage of.

Yeah, that's the hurtful thing about all of this. I think a lot of us on Lit were taken advantage of by her. I notice she hasn't posted any this morning...

 

[catalina_francisco]

Yes she does, and I'm not sure if the horrible things she claims have happened to her have or not. It appealed to my caring nature, even though it really seemed like BS. If she has really had things so rough, I really do feel for her. Looking back on everything though she does have attention seeking behavior. It's really sad that some people feel they have to be this way to find companionship.

I doubt it nh....just think about some of the claims she has made....she raised everyone in her family from the age of 2!! Oh, and she managed to be a model going away on assignments and also a professional games player all to earn money from childhood through to adult age, while she was having to be fulltime carer to her grandparents and bath them everyday etc., oh and managed to become a single mum as well....the personalities required for all these roles just don't gel into one person....and the stories just go on. Everytime anyone said anything, she would spit out another tradgedy to add to the list. I even wonder if she is the gender and age she says she is, whether she has a child, whether she is married or has a lovelife. It sounds bad I know, but when someone embellishes, lies, and makes up stories for whatever reason, I find it difficult to believe anything that comes out of their mouths or through the screen. Downside of the internet is it has provided a medium for the more pathological attention seekers to increase and spread their web drawing in and using more people than would be possible in RL.

Catalina

 

[nh23]

I doubt it nh....just think about some of the claims she has made....she raised everyone in her family from the age of 2!! Oh, and she managed to be a model going away on assignments and also a professional games player all to earn money from childhood through to adult age, while she was having to be fulltime carer to her grandparents and bath them everyday etc., oh and managed to become a single mum as well....the personalities required for all these roles just don't gel into one person....and the stories just go on. Everytime anyone said anything, she would spit out another tradgedy to add to the list. I even wonder if she is the gender and age she says she is, whether she has a child, whether she is married or has a lovelife. It sounds bad I know, but when someone embellishes, lies, and makes up stories for whatever reason, I find it difficult to believe anything that comes out of their mouths or through the screen. Downside of the internet is it has provided a medium for the more pathological attention seekers to increase and spread their web drawing in and using more people than would be possible in RL.

Catalina

Yep, she sure has hell has one interesting autobiography. Just a lesson to us all to be careful I guess.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

I have to say that when I was first made aware of her multiple threads and saw the titles, I just wrote it off to some sort of sub frenzy and didn't give it much thought.

I have to admit I did glance at her am pics thread but really didn't get all that excited about them. I guess I'm turning into a photo critic and thought that they were unimaginative as opposed to some of the other am pic threads.

This is really a transient society and people come and go and w/o any explanation and unfortunately some of the good ones leave because of reasons we'll never know and the bad pennies always turn up in the wrong places.

Thanks NH for calling her out like this.

 

[nh23]

I have to say that when I was first made aware of her multiple threads and saw the titles, I just wrote it off to some sort of sub frenzy and didn't give it much thought.

I have to admit I did glance at her am pics thread but really didn't get all that excited about them. I guess I'm turning into a photo critic and thought that they were unimaginative as opposed to some of the other am pic threads.

This is really a transient society and people come and go and w/o any explanation and unfortunately some of the good ones leave because of reasons we'll never know and the bad pennies always turn up in the wrong places.

Thanks NH for calling her out like this.

Your welcome. I take no pride in this post. It does make me feel better to vent and expose what she's doing. But, it makes me very sad that it had to come to this. I just didn't want others to be used, and I hate it that some of my favorite people wern't posting anymore because of the bullshit.

 

[TheBlackDahlia]

Hey don't feel bad, you didn't really know at the time what she was doing.

Ever since I joined this site, mis has been telling me a lot about Shay, how she was suspicious of her and her motives, that she kept switching her roles. I understand that I am new to the site and the lifestyle, but I hate to see others using something that many value and take so seriously to gain attention. It honestly makes me angry to know that people who seem decent at first can be so full of shit.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Oh well, while waiting for some downloads I had a very quick sqiz at her live journal (http://domskajira.livejournal.com/ ) and surprise, surprise, she is also paraphrasing what people have said in response to her questions here (not very well which to me shows her lack of understanding enough to put in her own words and add on) and passing it off as her RL experience. LOL, gotta give it to the girl, she is the best we have had in a long time...seems her whole life online is based on other people's reality.

Catalina

 

[nh23]

Hey don't feel bad, you didn't really know at the time what she was doing.

Ever since I joined this site, mis has been telling me a lot about Shay, how she was suspicious of her and her motives, that she kept switching her roles. I understand that I am new to the site and the lifestyle, but I hate to see others using something that many value and take so seriously to gain attention. It honestly makes me angry to know that people who seem decent at first can be so full of shit.

Thank You..

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

hmmmz....

Guess i will piss you all off, but someway i do understand her.....

I really think she went thro some rough time in the past and she's dealing with it her own way, wrong way yes, but hey nobody's perfect- isn't it truth ladies? Plus none of us REALLY know why she's like this........ (not like you sounded you give a shit about it anyways LOL)

I spoke with her on MSN and yes she's a member on CafeMom. I dunno what she posted there tho and i dont care either tbh. If she's abusing the advice you all gave her? its laffable IMO. But at least she's giving them a good advice from experienced peeps, stolen words yes, but better than if she tryed advice peeps on her own while she knows so less about BDSM yet.

I still don't think she's SO BAD as you all make it sound tho, i think she just need a good leading and i am sure she's looking for it.

I am sorry, but i must agree with her on one thing. Sub's from Lit webby aint much friendly to new faces. I totaly agree with Shay on this one!!

And i don't say Lit webby is bad now!! I love this webby, i think its lots of good reading here and some cool peeps around as well. I am just saying its hard to find here someone to talk too, especialy between the sub's.

I think me and Shay are alike, i know i am a sub tho. She's still confused and looking for the place where she would fit, i know that feeling very well.

I don't say the sub's on this site are bad! Its mostlikely just me and her having a hard time with finding new friends. I can't bitch her for it, i have the same prob so i do understand her.

If she's abusing ur words thats bad yes, i am sure soon or later she will realise it. Maybe she just wanna look good infront of her Dom? who knows... I liked her posts tho and i still do. And acording the replies she had on the threads she've started it seems u liked her posts as well??

Yes Shay does talk with some Lit Dom's and so do i sometimes, and why not? I am sorry, but the Dom's are obviously more friendly than you do. That's sad, but true...


peace

 

[HottieMama]

Guess i will piss you all off, but someway i do understand her.....

I really think she went thro some rough time in the past and she's dealing with it her own way, wrong way yes, but hey nobody's perfect- isn't it truth ladies? Plus none of us REALLY know why she's like this........ (not like you sounded you give a shit about it anyways LOL)

I spoke with her on MSN and yes she's a member on CafeMom. I dunno what she posted there tho and i dont care either tbh. If she's abusing the advice you all gave her? its laffable IMO. But at least she's giving them a good advice from experienced peeps, stolen words yes, but better than if she tryed advice peeps on her own while she knows so less about BDSM yet.

I still don't think she's SO BAD as you all make it sound tho, i think she just need a good leading and i am sure she's looking for it.

I am sorry, but i must agree with her on one thing. Sub's from Lit webby aint much friendly to new faces. I totaly agree with Shay on this one!!

And i don't say Lit webby is bad now!! I love this webby, i think its lots of good reading here and some cool peeps around as well. I am just saying its hard to find here someone to talk too, especialy between the sub's.

I think me and Shay are alike, i know i am a sub tho. She's still confused and looking for the place where she would fit, i know that feeling very well.

I don't say the sub's on this site are bad! Its mostlikely just me and her having a hard time with finding new friends. I can't bitch her for it, i have the same prob so i do understand her.

If she's abusing ur words thats bad yes, i am sure soon or later she will realise it. Maybe she just wanna look good infront of her Dom? who knows... I liked her posts tho and i still do. And acording the replies she had on the threads she've started it seems u liked her posts as well??

Yes Shay does talk with some Lit Dom's and so do i sometimes, and why not? I am sorry, but the Dom's are obviously more friendly than you do. That's sad, but true...


peace

Oh..let me get out my hip waders for this one. If you think this forum is unfriendly, please go over to the General Board where you will promptly ripped a new asshole. There are many of us "subbys" here that are VERY friendly and welcoming. Perhaps you have not had that experience, but i can think of several "new people" that have made friends here and are well liked by all. (subkitty and sexycaz come to mind off hand.)

Please do not paint us all as uptight, meanies with sticks up our asses. Most of us have been here a while and have good bullshit detectors. Many of us were wary of Shay from the beginning, and it turns out we were right to be.

 

[nh23]

Guess i will piss you all off, but someway i do understand her.....

I really think she went thro some rough time in the past and she's dealing with it her own way, wrong way yes, but hey nobody's perfect- isn't it truth ladies? Plus none of us REALLY know why she's like this........ (not like you sounded you give a shit about it anyways LOL)

I spoke with her on MSN and yes she's a member on CafeMom. I dunno what she posted there tho and i dont care either tbh. If she's abusing the advice you all gave her? its laffable IMO. But at least she's giving them a good advice from experienced peeps, stolen words yes, but better than if she tryed advice peeps on her own while she knows so less about BDSM yet.

I still don't think she's SO BAD as you all make it sound tho, i think she just need a good leading and i am sure she's looking for it.

I am sorry, but i must agree with her on one thing. Sub's from Lit webby aint much friendly to new faces. I totaly agree with Shay on this one!!

And i don't say Lit webby is bad now!! I love this webby, i think its lots of good reading here and some cool peeps around as well. I am just saying its hard to find here someone to talk too, especialy between the sub's.

I think me and Shay are alike, i know i am a sub tho. She's still confused and looking for the place where she would fit, i know that feeling very well.

I don't say the sub's on this site are bad! Its mostlikely just me and her having a hard time with finding new friends. I can't bitch her for it, i have the same prob so i do understand her.

If she's abusing ur words thats bad yes, i am sure soon or later she will realise it. Maybe she just wanna look good infront of her Dom? who knows... I liked her posts tho and i still do. And acording the replies she had on the threads she've started it seems u liked her posts as well??

Yes Shay does talk with some Lit Dom's and so do i sometimes, and why not? I am sorry, but the Dom's are obviously more friendly than you do. That's sad, but true...


peace

Doesn't piss me off at all. You have a right to an opinion just like the rest of us. Funny thing is.. I did give a shit. That's why I tried to help her. If she has to steal advice to help others, then she shouldn't be an administrator on a site posing as and expert. You know sometimes "us" subs on Lit can be catty. But, from the beginning I've never had that problem. Everyone has been very respectful and polite to me. I think that researching before you start posting 100 threads, proper grammer, and spelling to the best of your ability( yeah, mine's not always the greatest) goes a long way. It shows that you care enough about what your asking or saying to put some effort into it. I agree that most of the Dom's on here are very friendly and helpful. So are most of the subs, if you take the time to actually read and learn about them.

 

[intothewoods]

There's a site called CafeMom, and it's BDSM-related?

 

[HottieMama]

CafeMom is a parenting site. There are several group on there related to BDSM