Sexless Marriages

[Spongo]

Like to chat with others in sexless marriages just to generally chat but also to add a spark. Maybe help each have fun, chat about sex, etc.

 

[Carmina24]

We may have been starved… but we learned to set ourselves on fire.

We Are the Phoenixes

The world may see only what we lack.
The beds that stay cold.
The hands we have not felt in years.
The silence where touch should be.

But we know the truth.
We are not diminished by absence.
We are not made smaller because one person forgot how to hold us.

We are the heat we carry in our own bones.
We are the words that set each other on fire here.
We are the rise after ruin — the blaze after the ash.

Here, in Lit, we remind each other:
We are not defined by the hands that failed to reach for us.
We are defined by the way we burn anyway.
By the way we keep rising, again and again — beautiful, fierce, and unbroken.

Let us rise together.
From the beds that stayed cold.
From the nights that swallowed our touch.
From the silence that tried to make us small.

Burn bright. Burn proud.
Let the fire in our bones speak louder than the hands that failed to hold us.
Let every ember find another until we are an inferno.

Burn until the dark remembers our names.
Until it bows to the heat we’ve become.
Until every shadow knows —
we are still here, still fierce, and we will never be tamed.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Another outstanding post Carmina!

Your way with words about emotions that are core to being human ring true and resonate with me and I am sure with many others too!

What I would like to do is help other lit members fill the void in their life.

Offer hope, understanding, maybe help them navigate these paths we have already been through

 

[Carmina24]

Another outstanding post Carmina!

Your way with words about emotions that are core to being human ring true and resonate with me and I am sure with many others too!

What I would like to do is help other lit members fill the void in their life.

Offer hope, understanding, maybe help them navigate these paths we have already been through

@Hornymwtxn

Your words make me want to throw open the doors.
Do you feel it too — that there’s a real chance here for more of us to come together?
To let loneliness end as one kindred soul finds another… and then another?

 

[Sussy2000x]

I am totally in a sexless marriage and have been pretty much for a few years! We’re out there but we are a bit like unicorns

I am a woman in her 50’s with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy, that’s not normal I’ve been told by female friends the same age and male friends. I should be settling down for my old age with my hormones dying a slow death, but hell no!

Have you ever explored other women?

 

[Sussy2000x]

I like playing with married middle aged men (and women). Im 20 yo Asian single student

 

[masterslave00]

I like playing with married middle aged men (and women). Im 20 yo Asian single student

Edited this post to clarify moderator's comment!
She send me following:
"This is me sir https://i.redgifs.com/i/yellowwoefulzorilla.jpg" claiming it is her in the picture while it is obviously picture of model stolen from Facebook as seen below:

In reality:
https://www.facebook.com/CharmNatic/
https://www.facebook.com/CharmNatic...ello-charmnastics-keep-safe/4013742838719920/

 

[Hornymwtxn]

@Hornymwtxn

Your words make me want to throw open the doors.
Do you feel it too — that there’s a real chance here for more of us to come together?
To let loneliness end as one kindred soul finds another… and then another?

I do feel a desire.

A desire to help others get past the feelings of abandonment from the person they chose to spend the rest of their lives with.

To help them create stronger online friendships that can hopefully make their days brighter.

 

[Carmina24]

The Real Game

Gentlemen, come closer.
I’ll tell you a secret - though I’m not sure I should.

It’s not your body I want at first.
It’s your presence.
Your voice in the morning, your words at night.
The way you slip into my day until I can’t remember when you weren’t there.

We trade stories.
We laugh in the spaces between them.
We build a secret language only we can speak.
And then… you stop chasing.

That’s when I notice.
That’s when I want.

By the time I see the rest of you, it’s not curiosity - it’s hunger.
A slow-burn inferno that’s been building for days, weeks…
and when it breaks, it’s beautiful, ruinous, unforgettable.

Ladies - is it just me?

Men - here’s your lesson:
Woo her, but don’t rush her. Let the story write itself instead of skipping to the last page.
Be present in the small ways: the morning check-in, the shared joke, the question you actually listen to the answer of.
Make her feel seen, not just looked at.
Take your time as if you know the ending will be worth the wait.
Because it will be.
Slow is not passive - slow is deliberate.
It’s the difference between a match that flares and dies… and a fire that burns until she can’t sleep without its heat.
Don’t just want her body - earn her trust, her laughter, her anticipation.
And when she finally asks for more, it will be because she’s starving for you.

That’s the real game.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

The Real Game

Gentlemen, come closer.
I’ll tell you a secret - though I’m not sure I should.

It’s not your body I want at first.
It’s your presence.
Your voice in the morning, your words at night.
The way you slip into my day until I can’t remember when you weren’t there.

We trade stories.
We laugh in the spaces between them.
We build a secret language only we can speak.
And then… you stop chasing.

That’s when I notice.
That’s when I want.

By the time I see the rest of you, it’s not curiosity - it’s hunger.
A slow-burn inferno that’s been building for days, weeks…
and when it breaks, it’s beautiful, ruinous, unforgettable.

Ladies - is it just me?

Men - here’s your lesson:
Woo her, but don’t rush her. Let the story write itself instead of skipping to the last page.
Be present in the small ways: the morning check-in, the shared joke, the question you actually listen to the answer of.
Make her feel seen, not just looked at.
Take your time as if you know the ending will be worth the wait.
Because it will be.
Slow is not passive - slow is deliberate.
It’s the difference between a match that flares and dies… and a fire that burns until she can’t sleep without its heat.
Don’t just want her body - earn her trust, her laughter, her anticipation.
And when she finally asks for more, it will be because she’s starving for you.

That’s the real game.

A fine line
-------------------------

Coloring with different hues
Searching, reading for clues

Each message anticipated
Eagerly awaited

Maybe this can grow and flourish
That is my wish

 

[Carmina24]

A fine line
-------------------------

Coloring with different hues
Searching, reading for clues

Each message anticipated
Eagerly awaited

Maybe this can grow and flourish
That is my wish

Beautifully woven!

 

[Bidaddy84]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

Yeah I'm in a similar boat. Gf had bariatric surgery 2 years ago. We fucked like rabbits before and now, its like once very 6 to 8 weeks, if that. I have a high sex drive and she has almost none.

 

[OldSoldier96]

I like playing with married middle aged men (and women). Im 20 yo Asian single student

Is 48 within your range?

 

[Matty01]

He's gotten the pills..... They work for the immediate issue... But the drive, the desire, the stolen opportunities.... He hasn't gotten anything for that

Give me a shout when he can't perform for you

 

[Noone45]

Beautifully woven!

Am I the only one who read it as women at first?

 

[Carmina24]

Where the Bed Grows Quiet

There is a silence in some marriages that no one warns you about.
Not the silence of anger, or betrayal, or even indifference.
It is the hush that falls when love is still present, but touch has gone missing.

Nights stretch long. You can hear your own breath, your own pulse. Sometimes, you feel like a ghost in your own life - half of a duet that no longer sings.

We read your words here, and we feel the weight of them. The loneliness that settles between the sheets. The quiet ache of reaching for warmth that never comes.

For those of you living in this silence:
What do you wish your partner knew about the way it feels?
What is the sentence you whisper into the dark that no one has ever heard?

We are listening.
Maybe, if we can share the unspoken,
the quiet will begin to break.

Friends, we’ve opened a new little corner in Lit — The Art of Getting Lit Laid.

It’s where we swap stories of what’s worked (and what gloriously hasn’t), share the sparks that started something real, and maybe even inspire a few new ones.

Think of it as a mix of wisdom, wit, and just enough mischief to make you lean in. Come join us — your next connection might start with a single post.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/the-art-of-getting-lit-laid.1639025/

 

[Carmina24]

The Real Game

Gentlemen, come closer.
I’ll tell you a secret - though I’m not sure I should.

It’s not your body I want at first.
It’s your presence.
Your voice in the morning, your words at night.
The way you slip into my day until I can’t remember when you weren’t there.

We trade stories.
We laugh in the spaces between them.
We build a secret language only we can speak.
And then… you stop chasing.

That’s when I notice.
That’s when I want.

By the time I see the rest of you, it’s not curiosity - it’s hunger.
A slow-burn inferno that’s been building for days, weeks…
and when it breaks, it’s beautiful, ruinous, unforgettable.

Ladies - is it just me?

Men - here’s your lesson:
Woo her, but don’t rush her. Let the story write itself instead of skipping to the last page.
Be present in the small ways: the morning check-in, the shared joke, the question you actually listen to the answer of.
Make her feel seen, not just looked at.
Take your time as if you know the ending will be worth the wait.
Because it will be.
Slow is not passive - slow is deliberate.
It’s the difference between a match that flares and dies… and a fire that burns until she can’t sleep without its heat.
Don’t just want her body - earn her trust, her laughter, her anticipation.
And when she finally asks for more, it will be because she’s starving for you.

That’s the real game.

The Art of Getting Lit Laid:
The Gentleman's Guide

1. The Real Game (above)

2. The Secret Weapon

Gentlemen, lean in. I’ll let you in on something that changes everything.

It’s not the grand gestures. Not the perfect lines. It’s attention.

The way you notice the pause before she answers. The shift in tone when she’s tired but still smiling. The details she thought you’d forget - and you bring back later like treasures.

Attention tells her she’s not just another voice in the crowd. It says I see you, I hear you, I remember you.

Do you know how dangerous that is?
To a woman, it’s intoxicating. Because once she feels truly seen, her guard lowers. Her laughter comes quicker. Her words spill freer. Desire stops being something she hides - and starts being something she shares.

Ladies - tell me I’m wrong.
Gentlemen - here’s your weapon:
Don’t just talk. Listen.
Don’t just compliment. Observe.
Don’t just touch - notice where she wants to be touched.

Attention is presence sharpened.
It’s the reason she’ll stay up too late just to hear one more story from you.
It’s the reason she’ll replay your words in her head long after you’ve logged off.

So if you want her trust, her heat, her surrender - give her your attention first.
Because that’s the secret weapon.

 

[Anihotrod11]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

I understand you, going through the same situation

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I understand you, going through the same situation

It's like we are twins!

 

[stevesthename]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

Yes. This.

 

[RoanMtn]

It's like we are twins!

More like triplets, lol.

 

[SissyBrandi19]

Sexless marriages are a huge reason sissies like me are a good thing. Not that I have any need to justify my existence but I love serving DL daddies because we don't break up marriages, we keep them together! All you wives who've decided to under-value your men? You're welcome. Thanks to me and those like me, YOU are relieved of your "duty" and your husband is about 1,000x more pleasant why? Because he spent some time with me before coming home to YOU.

Pleasing men is never a "duty" to those like myself. It's our mission. Who would You rather have? Someone doing it for "duty" sake? Or because it's their mission in life? Choose carefully...especially choose carefully if you happen to be in the 719 area code. Did you get that? OK.

 

[Britva415]

Sexless marriage is a problem.

But many sexless marriages have even bigger problems than the sex.

So many of these stories are filled with lack of empathy, refusal to communicate, partner-shaming, gaslighting and other neglectful, abusive and/or manipulative behaviors, along with huge doses of codependence and paralysis.

If sex were the only issue, I can understand it being very hard to make a decision to seek to change anything, rock the boat, and risk a breakup. And we do see relationships/marriages where it's stated that, yeah, the sex is the only problem and everything else is great, perfect partner, etc. Some of those statements seem to crumble under scrutiny, though, when the negative behaviors I mentioned above are revealed.

Fuck the sex - if asexual spouses are unloving in other ways which really matter a lot, especially with regard to just being capable of talking transparently and of not weaponizing vulnerability, what are people even doing with them.

Staying in a household with many more years of that to look forward to boggles my mind.

Is it ever just the sex?

Rarely, it seems to me. Very rarely.

Maybe it's some kind of a selection bias. If the only problem really is just the sex, and the marriage doesn't also have any of the other pitfalls I described, maybe people are content enough that they don't feel like posting in any of the several different active sexless-marriage threads.

 

[luckydino]

Been on this thread since joining Lit & amazed at the number of us all in a similar situation - perhaps we need some form of listing showing our locations where we can all check out who's close to each other & perhaps help each other out in satisfying our needs!
I've just turned 65 & still have a very high sex drive but have been in a sexless marriage for exactly 11 years this month - have tried to resolve issues but keep hitting that big brick wall. Will continue to try & re-establish some form of connection as I have just registered for some individual & relationship counselling through a free & confidential service that is available through my employer, but in the meantime life can get very down, depressing & frustrating with the constant situation.
However, by chance, had an interesting question asked by a female acquaintance a few weeks ago. I work in a local store & whilst serving my female acquaintance, a mature female friend of hers was chatting to her about the break down of a recent relationship. Shortly after they had left the store, my acquaintance then came running back in & quietly asked me if I was married, to which I responded yes, not knowing the reason for the question. Last week bumped into my acquaintance who then asked 'so don't you fancy an affair then' to which I couldn't really say yes to, as a mutual friend who knows a few members of my immediate family quite well was with us. So the story is there is this mature lady who fancies me, & although the feedback to her from my acquaintance has been somewhat negative (I prefer a more discreet approach rather than having mutual friends & family know that I fancy an affair), I have since struck up a couple of just general quick conversations with the particular lady in question & she seems very keen to engage visually & verbally, always giving my a cheeky smile & wave when I see her & if the chance arises for conversation giving me a few details about her personal life. I'm now keen to progress things further & will be asking if she wants to meet up for a coffee or have a more personal chat sometime to see how things go. Will keep you updated......

 

[Greytruck]

Been on this thread since joining Lit & amazed at the number of us all in a similar situation - perhaps we need some form of listing showing our locations where we can all check out who's close to each other & perhaps help each other out in satisfying our needs!
I've just turned 65 & still have a very high sex drive but have been in a sexless marriage for exactly 11 years this month - have tried to resolve issues but keep hitting that big brick wall. Will continue to try & re-establish some form of connection as I have just registered for some individual & relationship counselling through a free & confidential service that is available through my employer, but in the meantime life can get very down, depressing & frustrating with the constant situation.
However, by chance, had an interesting question asked by a female acquaintance a few weeks ago. I work in a local store & whilst serving my female acquaintance, a mature female friend of hers was chatting to her about the break down of a recent relationship. Shortly after they had left the store, my acquaintance then came running back in & quietly asked me if I was married, to which I responded yes, not knowing the reason for the question. Last week bumped into my acquaintance who then asked 'so don't you fancy an affair then' to which I couldn't really say yes to, as a mutual friend who knows a few members of my immediate family quite well was with us. So the story is there is this mature lady who fancies me, & although the feedback to her from my acquaintance has been somewhat negative (I prefer a more discreet approach rather than having mutual friends & family know that I fancy an affair), I have since struck up a couple of just general quick conversations with the particular lady in question & she seems very keen to engage visually & verbally, always giving my a cheeky smile & wave when I see her & if the chance arises for conversation giving me a few details about her personal life. I'm now keen to progress things further & will be asking if she wants to meet up for a coffee or have a more personal chat sometime to see how things go. Will keep you updated......

Wow… she’s putting it right out there