Sexless Marriages

[Noone45]

Beautifully woven!

Am I the only one who read it as women at first?

 

[Carmina24]

Where the Bed Grows Quiet

There is a silence in some marriages that no one warns you about.
Not the silence of anger, or betrayal, or even indifference.
It is the hush that falls when love is still present, but touch has gone missing.

Nights stretch long. You can hear your own breath, your own pulse. Sometimes, you feel like a ghost in your own life - half of a duet that no longer sings.

We read your words here, and we feel the weight of them. The loneliness that settles between the sheets. The quiet ache of reaching for warmth that never comes.

For those of you living in this silence:
What do you wish your partner knew about the way it feels?
What is the sentence you whisper into the dark that no one has ever heard?

We are listening.
Maybe, if we can share the unspoken,
the quiet will begin to break.

Friends, we’ve opened a new little corner in Lit — The Art of Getting Lit Laid.

It’s where we swap stories of what’s worked (and what gloriously hasn’t), share the sparks that started something real, and maybe even inspire a few new ones.

Think of it as a mix of wisdom, wit, and just enough mischief to make you lean in. Come join us — your next connection might start with a single post.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/the-art-of-getting-lit-laid.1639025/

 

[Carmina24]

The Real Game

Gentlemen, come closer.
I’ll tell you a secret - though I’m not sure I should.

It’s not your body I want at first.
It’s your presence.
Your voice in the morning, your words at night.
The way you slip into my day until I can’t remember when you weren’t there.

We trade stories.
We laugh in the spaces between them.
We build a secret language only we can speak.
And then… you stop chasing.

That’s when I notice.
That’s when I want.

By the time I see the rest of you, it’s not curiosity - it’s hunger.
A slow-burn inferno that’s been building for days, weeks…
and when it breaks, it’s beautiful, ruinous, unforgettable.

Ladies - is it just me?

Men - here’s your lesson:
Woo her, but don’t rush her. Let the story write itself instead of skipping to the last page.
Be present in the small ways: the morning check-in, the shared joke, the question you actually listen to the answer of.
Make her feel seen, not just looked at.
Take your time as if you know the ending will be worth the wait.
Because it will be.
Slow is not passive - slow is deliberate.
It’s the difference between a match that flares and dies… and a fire that burns until she can’t sleep without its heat.
Don’t just want her body - earn her trust, her laughter, her anticipation.
And when she finally asks for more, it will be because she’s starving for you.

That’s the real game.

The Art of Getting Lit Laid:
The Gentleman's Guide

1. The Real Game (above)

2. The Secret Weapon

Gentlemen, lean in. I’ll let you in on something that changes everything.

It’s not the grand gestures. Not the perfect lines. It’s attention.

The way you notice the pause before she answers. The shift in tone when she’s tired but still smiling. The details she thought you’d forget - and you bring back later like treasures.

Attention tells her she’s not just another voice in the crowd. It says I see you, I hear you, I remember you.

Do you know how dangerous that is?
To a woman, it’s intoxicating. Because once she feels truly seen, her guard lowers. Her laughter comes quicker. Her words spill freer. Desire stops being something she hides - and starts being something she shares.

Ladies - tell me I’m wrong.
Gentlemen - here’s your weapon:
Don’t just talk. Listen.
Don’t just compliment. Observe.
Don’t just touch - notice where she wants to be touched.

Attention is presence sharpened.
It’s the reason she’ll stay up too late just to hear one more story from you.
It’s the reason she’ll replay your words in her head long after you’ve logged off.

So if you want her trust, her heat, her surrender - give her your attention first.
Because that’s the secret weapon.

 

[Anihotrod11]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

I understand you, going through the same situation

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I understand you, going through the same situation

It's like we are twins!

 

[stevesthename]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

Yes. This.

 

[RoanMtn]

It's like we are twins!

More like triplets, lol.

 

[SissyBrandi19]

Sexless marriages are a huge reason sissies like me are a good thing. Not that I have any need to justify my existence but I love serving DL daddies because we don't break up marriages, we keep them together! All you wives who've decided to under-value your men? You're welcome. Thanks to me and those like me, YOU are relieved of your "duty" and your husband is about 1,000x more pleasant why? Because he spent some time with me before coming home to YOU.

Pleasing men is never a "duty" to those like myself. It's our mission. Who would You rather have? Someone doing it for "duty" sake? Or because it's their mission in life? Choose carefully...especially choose carefully if you happen to be in the 719 area code. Did you get that? OK.

 

[JudyCD]

Always glad to help out.

 

[Britva415]

Sexless marriage is a problem.

But many sexless marriages have even bigger problems than the sex.

So many of these stories are filled with lack of empathy, refusal to communicate, partner-shaming, gaslighting and other neglectful, abusive and/or manipulative behaviors, along with huge doses of codependence and paralysis.

If sex were the only issue, I can understand it being very hard to make a decision to seek to change anything, rock the boat, and risk a breakup. And we do see relationships/marriages where it's stated that, yeah, the sex is the only problem and everything else is great, perfect partner, etc. Some of those statements seem to crumble under scrutiny, though, when the negative behaviors I mentioned above are revealed.

Fuck the sex - if asexual spouses are unloving in other ways which really matter a lot, especially with regard to just being capable of talking transparently and of not weaponizing vulnerability, what are people even doing with them.

Staying in a household with many more years of that to look forward to boggles my mind.

Is it ever just the sex?

Rarely, it seems to me. Very rarely.

Maybe it's some kind of a selection bias. If the only problem really is just the sex, and the marriage doesn't also have any of the other pitfalls I described, maybe people are content enough that they don't feel like posting in any of the several different active sexless-marriage threads.

 

[luckydino]

Been on this thread since joining Lit & amazed at the number of us all in a similar situation - perhaps we need some form of listing showing our locations where we can all check out who's close to each other & perhaps help each other out in satisfying our needs!
I've just turned 65 & still have a very high sex drive but have been in a sexless marriage for exactly 11 years this month - have tried to resolve issues but keep hitting that big brick wall. Will continue to try & re-establish some form of connection as I have just registered for some individual & relationship counselling through a free & confidential service that is available through my employer, but in the meantime life can get very down, depressing & frustrating with the constant situation.
However, by chance, had an interesting question asked by a female acquaintance a few weeks ago. I work in a local store & whilst serving my female acquaintance, a mature female friend of hers was chatting to her about the break down of a recent relationship. Shortly after they had left the store, my acquaintance then came running back in & quietly asked me if I was married, to which I responded yes, not knowing the reason for the question. Last week bumped into my acquaintance who then asked 'so don't you fancy an affair then' to which I couldn't really say yes to, as a mutual friend who knows a few members of my immediate family quite well was with us. So the story is there is this mature lady who fancies me, & although the feedback to her from my acquaintance has been somewhat negative (I prefer a more discreet approach rather than having mutual friends & family know that I fancy an affair), I have since struck up a couple of just general quick conversations with the particular lady in question & she seems very keen to engage visually & verbally, always giving my a cheeky smile & wave when I see her & if the chance arises for conversation giving me a few details about her personal life. I'm now keen to progress things further & will be asking if she wants to meet up for a coffee or have a more personal chat sometime to see how things go. Will keep you updated......

 

[Greytruck]

Been on this thread since joining Lit & amazed at the number of us all in a similar situation - perhaps we need some form of listing showing our locations where we can all check out who's close to each other & perhaps help each other out in satisfying our needs!
I've just turned 65 & still have a very high sex drive but have been in a sexless marriage for exactly 11 years this month - have tried to resolve issues but keep hitting that big brick wall. Will continue to try & re-establish some form of connection as I have just registered for some individual & relationship counselling through a free & confidential service that is available through my employer, but in the meantime life can get very down, depressing & frustrating with the constant situation.
However, by chance, had an interesting question asked by a female acquaintance a few weeks ago. I work in a local store & whilst serving my female acquaintance, a mature female friend of hers was chatting to her about the break down of a recent relationship. Shortly after they had left the store, my acquaintance then came running back in & quietly asked me if I was married, to which I responded yes, not knowing the reason for the question. Last week bumped into my acquaintance who then asked 'so don't you fancy an affair then' to which I couldn't really say yes to, as a mutual friend who knows a few members of my immediate family quite well was with us. So the story is there is this mature lady who fancies me, & although the feedback to her from my acquaintance has been somewhat negative (I prefer a more discreet approach rather than having mutual friends & family know that I fancy an affair), I have since struck up a couple of just general quick conversations with the particular lady in question & she seems very keen to engage visually & verbally, always giving my a cheeky smile & wave when I see her & if the chance arises for conversation giving me a few details about her personal life. I'm now keen to progress things further & will be asking if she wants to meet up for a coffee or have a more personal chat sometime to see how things go. Will keep you updated......

Wow… she’s putting it right out there

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I'm curious when we finally give up on our spouse, what that looks like

 

[Hornymwtxn]

I'm curious when we finally give up on our spouse, what that looks like

I have given up on ever having another sexual encounter with my gf a long time ago.

We are basically roomies now.

 

[TemptationTango]

I gave up when I took the plunge with my FWB. There are still days of temptation to "try"....,like this morning. Wife has on nothing but a big T-shirt, her large breasts jiggling when moving, highbeams ON, bare ass showing as she walks by. She is so hot, sexy, and not interested at all. I resist engaging because ....'exercise in futility'.

Since I gave up it's much easier to blow it off and no more depression about it. These days are now about my needs. Seperating sex from love has been a game changer for me.

 

[Carmina24]

The Silent Room

What does it look like when we finally give up?

It’s not a slammed door or a dramatic exit. It’s quieter. More cruel.

It’s when you walk past her naked - and she doesn’t even look.
When you reach out in the dark, not for passion, but for proof you still exist - and find only cold sheets.
When conversations shrink to logistics: bills, groceries, schedules… but never desire.

You stop asking. She stops pretending.
And suddenly you are two people who once promised forever, now reduced to roommates who share a roof but not a life.

The cruelest part?
When you have a fire inside you - an ache, a hunger, a high drive that thrums through your body - and the one person you swore to, the one person who should want you most…
wants nothing at all.

That’s when “sexless marriage” stops being a phrase and becomes a prison.
Walls made of silence. Bars forged from rejection.

And you ask yourself:
How long can a body starve before the soul does too?

 

[mortis]

I have recently taken things into my own hands. I’ll head up to bed a little early and tell her I’m going to go masturbate.

Other times I’ll sit on the couch next to her and stroke my cock until I cum and lick my hand clean. She watches but really doesn’t participate.

I did catch her using the massage gun pounding her pussy while watching “Hunting wives”. So I know she still is sexually active.

Not sure what the next step is to get the spark back she just doesn’t enjoy my cock anymore.

 

[Carmina24]

Phoenix in the Ashes

There was a time I believed I was ugly.

Not because of my face or body -
but because of the way his eyes refused to linger. Because night after night,
I lay beside him like a ghost no one touched. Because silence in the bed became silence in my soul.

A sexless marriage can do that. It teaches you to disappear. It feeds you lies: You are unwanted. You are not enough. You are nothing.

And I believed them.
I carried those words like chains.
I bowed my head in the mirror,
and all I saw was rejection staring back at me.
Not a woman. Not a flame.
Just ugly.

But embers never die so easily.

Beneath the weight of silence, beneath the years of being unseen, a spark still throbbed. Small. Dangerous. Patient.

And one day, I remembered:
My dignity was never his to grant.
My beauty was never his to erase.
My fire was never his to extinguish.

It was mine.
Always mine.

That was the moment the chains cracked.
The moment the ashes shifted.
The moment the wings unfurled.

I rose.

Not quietly. Not gently.
But feral, flaming, furious.
Every “ugly” I had swallowed
turned to kindling in my throat.
Every rejection became fuel.
Every cold night became heat.

I am not his discarded body.
I am not his silence.
I am not his blindness.

I am the Phoenix -
beautiful in flame,
terrible in rebirth,
too bright to ignore,
too wild to cage.

He can look away.
He can sleep in his cold bed.
He can turn his back on the fire.

But I am burning.
I am alive.
I am magnificent.

And I will rise again and again,
from every ash,
from every silence,
from every place where I was told I was nothing.

Ugly? No.
Never again.

I am flame,
and flame does not ask for permission to shine.

 

[Seokrocks]

Truth can be beautiful too.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Phoenix in the Ashes

There was a time I believed I was ugly.

Not because of my face or body -
but because of the way his eyes refused to linger. Because night after night,
I lay beside him like a ghost no one touched. Because silence in the bed became silence in my soul.

A sexless marriage can do that. It teaches you to disappear. It feeds you lies: You are unwanted. You are not enough. You are nothing.

And I believed them.
I carried those words like chains.
I bowed my head in the mirror,
and all I saw was rejection staring back at me.
Not a woman. Not a flame.
Just ugly.

But embers never die so easily.

Beneath the weight of silence, beneath the years of being unseen, a spark still throbbed. Small. Dangerous. Patient.

And one day, I remembered:
My dignity was never his to grant.
My beauty was never his to erase.
My fire was never his to extinguish.

It was mine.
Always mine.

That was the moment the chains cracked.
The moment the ashes shifted.
The moment the wings unfurled.

I rose.

Not quietly. Not gently.
But feral, flaming, furious.
Every “ugly” I had swallowed
turned to kindling in my throat.
Every rejection became fuel.
Every cold night became heat.

I am not his discarded body.
I am not his silence.
I am not his blindness.

I am the Phoenix -
beautiful in flame,
terrible in rebirth,
too bright to ignore,
too wild to cage.

He can look away.
He can sleep in his cold bed.
He can turn his back on the fire.

But I am burning.
I am alive.
I am magnificent.

And I will rise again and again,
from every ash,
from every silence,
from every place where I was told I was nothing.

Ugly? No.
Never again.

I am flame,
and flame does not ask for permission to shine.

Holy fuck

 

[boxman11]

I'm curious when we finally give up on our spouse, what that looks like

You become room mates

 

[Chillygirl]

Well my marriage finally fell apart a couple years ago. He had gotten a prescription for Cialis and when he took it our sex life was great again. Then he’d stop and every time we TRIED to have sex I’d end up in the bathroom crying. I stopped looking for affection and sex. He ended up texting me one day to say it was over.

Sadly my sex life hasn’t taken off. Dating after being married 23 years is scary and then menopause hit and really screwed with my body/hormones. I miss the old me that always felt sexy and horny.

So all that said I’m glad the marriage is over. There was so much more wrong with it than just sex. I hope to once again have a great sex life and I don’t think I’m too old for that, I just gotta find the right guy.

If you’re that miserable in your marriage it’s probably time for a really difficult talk. While I hate the way my ex ended things I’m glad he did. Life is much better these days.

ETA I’m not saying everyone should get divorced and honestly I begged my ex to go to counseling and give our marriage another chance. Just saying if divorce is the answer life does go on.

 

[Robbo694u]

Well my marriage finally fell apart a couple years ago. He had gotten a prescription for Cialis and when he took it our sex life was great again. Then he’d stop and every time we TRIED to have sex I’d end up in the bathroom crying. I stopped looking for affection and sex. He ended up texting me one day to say it was over.

Sadly my sex life hasn’t taken off. Dating after being married 23 years is scary and then menopause hit and really screwed with my body/hormones. I miss the old me that always felt sexy and horny.

So all that said I’m glad the marriage is over. There was so much more wrong with it than just sex. I hope to once again have a great sex life and I don’t think I’m too old for that, I just gotta find the right guy.

If you’re that miserable in your marriage it’s probably time for a really difficult talk. While I hate the way my ex ended things I’m glad he did. Life is much better these days.

I'm so glad for you that your life is better now, you obviously faced challenges after that hard decision and now you've got a clean slate to build new adventures. You're never too old for someone to make you feel sexy again and have those mind blowing horny experiences.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

The talk is coming. I can't live with this hollowness

 

[MrGoatee]

As a result of various illnesses, one of which introduced an early menopause, I find myself in a sexless marriage through not fault. The frustration is pretty bad at times and the need for connection on that level can get pretty annoying. But we fight on