Sexless Marriages

Where the Bed Grows Quiet

There is a silence in some marriages that no one warns you about.
Not the silence of anger, or betrayal, or even indifference.
It is the hush that falls when love is still present, but touch has gone missing.

Nights stretch long. You can hear your own breath, your own pulse. Sometimes, you feel like a ghost in your own life - half of a duet that no longer sings.

We read your words here, and we feel the weight of them. The loneliness that settles between the sheets. The quiet ache of reaching for warmth that never comes.

For those of you living in this silence:
What do you wish your partner knew about the way it feels?
What is the sentence you whisper into the dark that no one has ever heard?

We are listening.
Maybe, if we can share the unspoken,
the quiet will begin to break.

Friends, we’ve opened a new little corner in Lit — The Art of Getting Lit Laid.

It’s where we swap stories of what’s worked (and what gloriously hasn’t), share the sparks that started something real, and maybe even inspire a few new ones.

Think of it as a mix of wisdom, wit, and just enough mischief to make you lean in. Come join us — your next connection might start with a single post.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/the-art-of-getting-lit-laid.1639025/
 
The Real Game

Gentlemen, come closer.
I’ll tell you a secret - though I’m not sure I should.

It’s not your body I want at first.
It’s your presence.
Your voice in the morning, your words at night.
The way you slip into my day until I can’t remember when you weren’t there.

We trade stories.
We laugh in the spaces between them.
We build a secret language only we can speak.
And then… you stop chasing.

That’s when I notice.
That’s when I want.

By the time I see the rest of you, it’s not curiosity - it’s hunger.
A slow-burn inferno that’s been building for days, weeks…
and when it breaks, it’s beautiful, ruinous, unforgettable.

Ladies - is it just me?

Men - here’s your lesson:
Woo her, but don’t rush her. Let the story write itself instead of skipping to the last page.
Be present in the small ways: the morning check-in, the shared joke, the question you actually listen to the answer of.
Make her feel seen, not just looked at.
Take your time as if you know the ending will be worth the wait.
Because it will be.
Slow is not passive - slow is deliberate.
It’s the difference between a match that flares and dies… and a fire that burns until she can’t sleep without its heat.
Don’t just want her body - earn her trust, her laughter, her anticipation.
And when she finally asks for more, it will be because she’s starving for you.

That’s the real game.

The Art of Getting Lit Laid:
The Gentleman's Guide


1. The Real Game (above)

2. The Secret Weapon

Gentlemen, lean in. I’ll let you in on something that changes everything.

It’s not the grand gestures. Not the perfect lines. It’s attention.

The way you notice the pause before she answers. The shift in tone when she’s tired but still smiling. The details she thought you’d forget - and you bring back later like treasures.

Attention tells her she’s not just another voice in the crowd. It says I see you, I hear you, I remember you.

Do you know how dangerous that is?
To a woman, it’s intoxicating. Because once she feels truly seen, her guard lowers. Her laughter comes quicker. Her words spill freer. Desire stops being something she hides - and starts being something she shares.

Ladies - tell me I’m wrong.
Gentlemen - here’s your weapon:
Don’t just talk. Listen.
Don’t just compliment. Observe.
Don’t just touch - notice where she wants to be touched.

Attention is presence sharpened.
It’s the reason she’ll stay up too late just to hear one more story from you.
It’s the reason she’ll replay your words in her head long after you’ve logged off.

So if you want her trust, her heat, her surrender - give her your attention first.
Because that’s the secret weapon.
 
Sexless marriages are a huge reason sissies like me are a good thing. Not that I have any need to justify my existence but I love serving DL daddies because we don't break up marriages, we keep them together! All you wives who've decided to under-value your men? You're welcome. Thanks to me and those like me, YOU are relieved of your "duty" and your husband is about 1,000x more pleasant why? Because he spent some time with me before coming home to YOU.

Pleasing men is never a "duty" to those like myself. It's our mission. Who would You rather have? Someone doing it for "duty" sake? Or because it's their mission in life? Choose carefully...especially choose carefully if you happen to be in the 719 area code. Did you get that? OK.
 
Sexless marriage is a problem.

But many sexless marriages have even bigger problems than the sex.

So many of these stories are filled with lack of empathy, refusal to communicate, partner-shaming, gaslighting and other neglectful, abusive and/or manipulative behaviors, along with huge doses of codependence and paralysis.

If sex were the only issue, I can understand it being very hard to make a decision to seek to change anything, rock the boat, and risk a breakup. And we do see relationships/marriages where it's stated that, yeah, the sex is the only problem and everything else is great, perfect partner, etc. Some of those statements seem to crumble under scrutiny, though, when the negative behaviors I mentioned above are revealed.

Fuck the sex - if asexual spouses are unloving in other ways which really matter a lot, especially with regard to just being capable of talking transparently and of not weaponizing vulnerability, what are people even doing with them.

Staying in a household with many more years of that to look forward to boggles my mind.

Is it ever just the sex?

Rarely, it seems to me. Very rarely.

Maybe it's some kind of a selection bias. If the only problem really is just the sex, and the marriage doesn't also have any of the other pitfalls I described, maybe people are content enough that they don't feel like posting in any of the several different active sexless-marriage threads.
 
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