Sexless marriage

The problem is some people enjoy sex for the animalistic urges that need to be satisfied.
Others need to be woo ed and made to feel special.
Some have an instant reaction to a sexual stimulation.
Others have the tiniest area, well covered and hard to find.
 
Been married 13 years, together 15. Weve got a 7 year old son. The wife is currently going through peri-menopause. Sex is non-existent. She won't even give me a bj. I get the odd hand job but its like a routine thing. There's nothing sexual or passionate about it. I miss that. Im 47 and she's 48. We've talked about it, she knows how it makes me feel. She won't allow me to have sex elsewhere in case an emotional attachment forms. I love her, but seriously over the last 3 years my depression has gotten a lot worse and this is one of the reasons. I'm not sex obsessed, but i need it. I've asked her 3 times in the last 7 days and shes rejected me every time. Just a straight no.
 
Been married 13 years, together 15. Weve got a 7 year old son. The wife is currently going through peri-menopause. Sex is non-existent. She won't even give me a bj. I get the odd hand job but it's like a routine thing. There's nothing sexual or passionate about it. I miss that. Im 47 and she's 48. We've talked about it, she knows how it makes me feel. She won't allow me to have sex elsewhere in case an emotional attachment forms. I love her, but seriously over the last 3 years my depression has gotten a lot worse and this is one of the reasons. I'm not sex obsessed, but i need it. I've asked her 3 times in the last 7 days and shes rejected me every time. Just a straight no.
Lucky that you've talked, but very sad that she feels unwilling to do anything
 
Been married 13 years, together 15. Weve got a 7 year old son. The wife is currently going through peri-menopause. Sex is non-existent. She won't even give me a bj. I get the odd hand job but its like a routine thing. There's nothing sexual or passionate about it. I miss that. Im 47 and she's 48. We've talked about it, she knows how it makes me feel. She won't allow me to have sex elsewhere in case an emotional attachment forms. I love her, but seriously over the last 3 years my depression has gotten a lot worse and this is one of the reasons. I'm not sex obsessed, but i need it. I've asked her 3 times in the last 7 days and shes rejected me every time. Just a straight no.
She won't "even" give you a bj?? I'm sorry, that just seems like an odd thing to say.... from my perspective. A bj is something special I do, because I feel exceptionally endeared to my partner in general... & to my partner's cock, in particular. And I can feel rather ambivalent about it, if my partner starts to act like it's an obligation for me to do it. That turns me off.
 
I just feel trapped. Like im in a no win scenario. I cant have sex with her, she won't let me have sex elsewhere.
You are going to have to get the both of you into a counselors office. She needs to hear this in that setting. Been there done that. They hear you but they don't. Someone else will need to relay it, dig other issues out, and open it all up. But definitely make certain the counselor has incredible referrals. Had a dufus one that I had to report to aamft. The next was a couple. They were awesome. Opened our eyes to things we'd never thought of.
 
She won't "even" give you a bj?? I'm sorry, that just seems like an odd thing to say.... from my perspective. A bj is something special I do, because I feel exceptionally endeared to my partner in general... & to my partner's cock, in particular. And I can feel rather ambivalent about it, if my partner starts to act like it's an obligation for me to do it. That turns me off.
And from my perspective you've completely misconstrued the point I was trying to make.

I really can't be bothered to argue the point. Think what you want. I know how it's making me feel.
 
You are going to have to get the both of you into a counselors office. She needs to hear this in that setting. Been there done that. They hear you but they don't. Someone else will need to relay it, dig other issues out, and open it all up. But definitely make certain the counselor has incredible referrals. Had a dufus one that I had to report to aamft. The next was a couple. They were awesome. Opened our eyes to things we'd never thought of.
Suggested that. She's told me we should be able to sort stuff out without other people getting involved. But thats obviously not the case.
 
No kiss, hug or sex in over 8 years, she has more excuses than Libbys has beans. Just room mates now. We are not married but been together for 26 years. She moved into my home then and has no money to leave (I'm sure she has thought about it) I'm sure she would take me for half of everything. I give nothing in return now and she still doesn't get it, you get what you give. I have a woman on the side that takes care of my needs as I take care of hers. She is married and in the same boat so we make it work just for us.
 
Does 14x (+4bj) this year count as a near sexless marriage. If so this sucks. I've tried talking, bringing in toys, outfits, she just won't budge. Pretty sure there is something else at play.
 
She won't "even" give you a bj?? I'm sorry, that just seems like an odd thing to say.... from my perspective. A bj is something special I do, because I feel exceptionally endeared to my partner in general... & to my partner's cock, in particular. And I can feel rather ambivalent about it, if my partner starts to act like it's an obligation for me to do it. That turns me off.
My wife won't have sex if we've fought, usually. She has to be happy with things to want it, that's how she works. But when we've had periods of relentless fighting that meant sexlessness too, which on my end fed fuel to the fighting.

It's all good on paper and less so in practice, but my go to in your shoes would be to ask her what would make it more appealing to her and you'll meet her on it... or explain flatly you're NOT going to be sexless for an extended period with no light at the end of the tunnel, and that you will get what's normal and natural whether she wants to be the woman or not. This is what I told my wife, and though verbally she threw it in my face, "Fine, find someone else." it gave her second thoughts about how that's counter-productive from her end to close off physically.

I wish you hot puss and soon, bro.
 
If I’ve only had sex once in 20+ months, is that considered a sexless marriage or a mostly sexless marriage 🤣
 
A few of my buddies are in this exact situations, I'm sad to day and although I tell them that it may change one day ....... I don't know or see how. They all have younger children and I always figured that the wives are exhausted after taking a day taking care of the kids but it's been months if not longer?!?!
 
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