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Sexless marriage

I wouldn't say my marriage is sexless, but very close. Wife's interest in sex has been slowly declining over the years, She admitted to me that she could live without sex. Intercourse for her has become painful, but she has taken care of me but that too has become less frequent.
She used to give me fantastic BJ's weekly, then every 2 weeks, now were at every 3 to 4 weeks. Intercourse in the conventional sense was last year around x-mas time. She does let me screw here analy, but only every 3 or 4 months.
When she's stressing it's near impossible to get intimate with her, and she's stressing over upcoming election.
Guess when next intimate fun might happen
 
eroticbum said:
Intercourse for her has become painful
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Doctor suggested KY gel or Astroglide to combat dryness, friction and pain for her. Helps a lot. At least you still get a bj from time to time. My memories don't go back that far. Has helped to be open and honest and to negotiate and compromise. Could be better but we've reached a 2x/week agreement we can both live with. Would like more but it's not a "sexless" marriage by any means and I really can't complain.
 
My wife ended our physical relationship more than 15 years ago. Said "It hurts too much, I can't do this anymore." So, we became room mates. Divorce wasn't an option. It's been quite an experience. Our sex life was very good before. Now, she's very sick (cancer). Just remember two things: 1) Life isn't fair, and 2) You're not in control of anything. BTW, I would never marry again (I'm 64).
 
TomnDiane said:
My wife ended our physical relationship more than 15 years ago. Said "It hurts too much, I can't do this anymore." So, we became room mates. Divorce wasn't an option. It's been quite an experience. Our sex life was very good before. Now, she's very sick (cancer). Just remember two things: 1) Life isn't fair, and 2) You're not in control of anything. BTW, I would never marry again (I'm 64).
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67 sex never really was important to her.... she needed children.... what does that make me?
Marry again? only after extensive counseling LOL
 
TomnDiane, I lost my first wife of 29 years due to cancer. My heart goes out to both of you. We did have a slow sex life because of it and I don't blame her, she tryed. My second marriage now of 24 years ( today ) started out good, sexually. But declined after 12 to 15 years. I may have ED but there are other acts to do. She does figure that. When she was in college to complete her degree, I got a blow job every 3 months. Nothing in between. NOW,,, maybe a kiss every day or two. And I'm too old to start looking again ( 73 )
 
Intrigued42 said:
Doctor suggested KY gel or Astroglide to combat dryness, friction and pain for her. Helps a lot. At least you still get a bj from time to time. My memories don't go back that far. Has helped to be open and honest and to negotiate and compromise. Could be better but we've reached a 2x/week agreement we can both live with. Would like more but it's not a "sexless" marriage by any means and I really can't complain.
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She's not dry. Fluids and orgasms work fine. It's her body that's just not playing nice. Fibromyalgia & chronic fatigue has been an issue for years.
 
i am lucky to get a kiss or cuddles at this point from my wife, and i do try for sex but she always says no.
 
skitzoid said:
TomnDiane, I lost my first wife of 29 years due to cancer. My heart goes out to both of you. We did have a slow sex life because of it and I don't blame her, she tryed. My second marriage now of 24 years ( today ) started out good, sexually. But declined after 12 to 15 years. I may have ED but there are other acts to do. She does figure that. When she was in college to complete her degree, I got a blow job every 3 months. Nothing in between. NOW,,, maybe a kiss every day or two. And I'm too old to start looking again ( 73 )
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My grandfather 99 1/2 yrs,NEVER too old!
 
Doctor26 said:
I’m in one with boyfriend of about 12 years. He enjoys porn and himself. (And no I’m not fat or ugly, rather the opposite.) Says he’s too old, 71.
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Sorry you're dealing with this, it's frustrating and drives you nuts 🤬🤬. Still hard for me to understand how a man neglects a woman of sex, unless there's medical issues.
 
Doctor26 said:
It’s not just sex. A hug right now would send me over the edge. I have to ask if I want a kiss. He says I love you all the time???
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Unfortunately it's the same in my house, except the I love you part she never says that anymore 😔
If you ever need someone to talk with about this or anything I'm here, DM me. I'm a good listener and nonjudgmental 👍.
 
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My wife and I were well-matched, and had a good sexual relationship for the first 17-18 years. That changed when, just after our last move, she started having autoimmune issues which made sex uncomfortable. The frequency with which we did the old mattress tango diminished to the point where you could fairly describe the marriage as sexless. Then came CTCL, uterine cancer and a brain bleed, and eventually, even the BJs disappeared, though she does still shows affection. Chronic ill-health has negatively affected her temperament - she is much more critical, and what bit of a filter she had has disappeared. She also stopped being able to travel. She also started picking up on my eccentricities much more, and using them against me. None of this is her faulty - it is just the shittiest of bad luck, but still painful. On the whole, home became a place I want to escape fairly regularly, but I would be uneasy about divorcing someone who needs a certain level of care, if only someone to cook her meals and run inventory on her meds. On a purely pragmatic level, if I divorced and then remarried, it would also be the death of my career, and it does not seem worth it. My marriage stresses every other aspect of my life.

Emotionally, the screws have been turned somewhat by outside events, such as finally meeting a woman who makes me think of babies not sex. However, I am not sure how much of the attraction is a product of the gloom on the home front. I've also realized that my aversion to having kids was the product of how much I hated school and school hated me. I was unhappy as a child around other children because I was ND, not because all kids are bastards. The main objective in life has become survival, in the hope that I might be fortunate enough to have a happy final act to my life - preferably with Crush.
 
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You know, when we marry, our vows include "in sickness and in health, till death do us part." We say those words, never really attaching any significance to their meaning. Live long enough, and we all learn what those words mean. I hate what we're going through now, but cancer doesn't make the relationship problems disappear. It can mask them for a time, but they are still there. I feel your pain, brother.
PMarky2 said:
My wife and I were well-matched, and had a good sexual relationship for the first 17-18 years. That changed when, just after our last move, she started having autoimmune issues which made sex uncomfortable. The frequency with which we did the old mattress tango diminished to the point where you could fairly describe the marriage as sexless. Then came CTCL, uterine cancer and a brain bleed, and eventually, even the BJs disappeared, though she does still shows affection. Chronic ill-health has negatively affected her temperament - she is much more critical, and what bit of a filter she had has disappeared. She also stopped being able to travel. She also started picking up on my eccentricities much more, and using them against me. None of this is her faulty - it is just the shittiest of bad luck, but still painful. On the whole, home became a place I want to escape fairly regularly, but I would be uneasy about divorcing someone who needs a certain level of care, if only someone to cook her meals and run inventory on her meds. On a purely pragmatic level, if I divorced and then remarried, it would also be the death of my career, and it does not seem worth it. My marriage stresses every other aspect of my life.

Emotionally, the screws have been turned somewhat by outside events, such as finally meeting a woman who makes me think of babies not sex. However, I am not sure how much of the attraction is a product of the gloom on the home front. I've also realized that my aversion to having kids was the product of how much I hated school and school hated me. I was unhappy as a child around other children because I was ND, not because all kids are bastards. The main objective in life has become survival, in the hope that I might be fortunate enough to have a happy final act to my life - preferably
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I'm in a closed poly relationship. I have a wife and a girlfriend, and we all live under the same roof. You'd think I have more sex than I can handle, wouldn't you? You would be incorrect, though. Neither of them have much interest in sex. I'm lucky if I have an intimate encounter once every two months, and it's often a longer 'dry spell'. I won't go into detail, but suffice it to say I'm frequently in a state of sexual frustration, not to mention touch-starved.
 
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