sex-kitten.net: "Real Sex is so Much Better"

[eudaemonia]

I just discovered the column over at sex-kitten.net and thought others here might enjoy her writing as well. Here's a sample:

Real Sex is so Much Better

But some men never snap to this truth: real woman do not have sex like women in porn movies. If they do, they’re performing. And that is what’s sadder still, that some women learn their sexual behavior from those same unrealistic portrayals and never get to enjoy sex as much as they could.

<snip>

I spent my twenties having porn-movie style sex and wondering why it wasn’t as good as I was pretending it was. When I stopped feeling like I should be turned on by the same things those women in the movies were turned on by, I began to discover what really did turn me on and I grew confident enough to show someone how to do it. When I stopped trying so hard to make sure that my man was getting his “money’s worth” during sex, I discovered my partners were actually enjoying it even more.

 

[wally2450]

Interesting!

 

[M's girl]

I spent my twenties having porn-movie style sex and wondering why it wasn’t as good as I was pretending it was. When I stopped feeling like I should be turned on by the same things those women in the movies were turned on by, I began to discover what really did turn me on and I grew confident enough to show someone how to do it. When I stopped trying so hard to make sure that my man was getting his “money’s worth” during sex, I discovered my partners were actually enjoying it even more.

Gosh..... how me!

 

[danl_lee]

I say I would have to highly agree with the article. I read it and found it interesting. Some men and women obtain false perceptions from watching porn early in their lives. You can even apply the same principles as to what a perfect model is. If we use the examples of the models of New York, Paris and Milan the perfect woman is an anorectic woman with either no breasts or "plastic" ones. In porn there is little seduction, little foreplay and many un-enjoyable/uncomfortable positions. The more mature and experienced men and women become the more they learn that porn type sex that is practiced in the bedroom is un-realistic and rather un-enjoyable. Just my 2 cents worth.

 

[The Gimp]

I certainly didn't spend my 20s having porn style movie sex....

 

[eudaemonia]

Me neither.

While I had certainly seen plenty of Playboys/girls (and much harder) growing up, it never occurred to me that "normal" sex was much different than what I'd seen/implied in R-movies or read about in Cosmo or in erotically-themed novels or erotica. Maybe it's because I had sex pretty young and have still never seen a porno flick that it's never really appealed to me ... ??

 

[helix27]

Gosh..... how me!

Someone watched to much porn. ;-) swry had too.

 

[M's girl]

Someone watched to much porn. ;-) swry had too.

Oh, but I did (and still do) And I enjoy it very much. Difference between then and now is that I am more aware and better educated. Back then, I took what I saw as being a standard, or at least as what was expected from me too. And I have always been a people-pleaser and even more so with the men I have been with. When there were things that seemed to turn them on in porn I made sure they could have that with me too; never mind if it worked for me.

For the longest time I though there was something wrong with me. Because of course the porn-style sex did NOTHING for me whatsoever! And no boyfriend was "clever" enough to help me think different. Or you can say I have come across some pretty selfish bastards who took me and what I offered them for granted.

The funny thing is that I still like to watch porn and get tremendously aroused by it, while I know at the same time that 90% of what I see is not adaptable to me for pleasure. Weird eh? That's why I always compare porn to other genres of film where you may enjoy a horror-movie or an action movie, while you have no intention of getting yourself in that situation ever

 

[helix27]

yea kinda like the step outside reality thing.