Sex and Love

[scheherazade_79]

I need an agony aunt. How closely linked are the two?

Another question - if it isn't love at first sight, is it possible that two people can grow into each other?

Another question again - is what you perceive as your 'ideal woman' really the ideal woman for you?

I always thought what I was looking for was a feisty European woman - a bit of a firecracker. Last weekend I hooked up with an old girlfriend and things were mindblowing. We finished because neither of us thought we were compatible, but it's turned out that neither of us can stop thinking about it each. What does that mean?

All suggestions greatly appreciated.

 

[carsonshepherd]

i can't say for your situation, but my boyfriend and I are pretty much total opposites in a lot of respects. We've even thought about splitting up, but fact of the matter is we're miserable when we're not together, even for a weekend.

give it a chance.... you never know.

 

[scheherazade_79]

You're right, Carson. Maybe I'll stop thinking about it today and see what happens tomorrow. We're really like chalk and cheese, though... I miss her... It's strange.

 

[AppleBiter]

You're right, Carson. Maybe I'll stop thinking about it today and see what happens tomorrow. We're really like chalk and cheese, though... I miss her... It's strange.

When you got chalk and cheese in common, you can't go wrong.

 

[scheherazade_79]

When you got chalk and cheese in common, you can't go wrong.

Chalk and cheese... she's a neat freak, I'm a slightly messy; she's very calm, placid and sensible, I can be pretty fiery; she doesn't smoke or take any illegal substances, my track record isn't good in that department; she's always feeling cold, I'm always feeling hot... I could go on and on...

 

[TheEarl]

Love comes in many forms. From what you're saying, I'd think you're in the early stages at least.

The Earl

 

[Liar]

How closely linked are the two? (sex and love)
Jeez, that's like one of the Major Questions. And everyone has got an opinion of their own about it, meaning there is no uiversal answer. Or me, they're not all that closely linked. I expect them to be somewhat parallell, but there are no set rules. I've had a sexual relationship without the romantic kind of love. And I've had intense love relatios without sex, or where the sex was pretty damn...boring but where that was quite the non-issue.

Another question - if it isn't love at first sight, is it possible that two people can grow into each other?
Hell yes. You ask if it's possible? I'd say that love at 34th sigth is even more common and probable to work and last than the instant crush variety.

Another question again - is what you perceive as your 'ideal woman' really the ideal woman for you?
You know, I have no idea. But since what I'm looking for isn't all that hard to live up to - a kind soul, a steady pulse, a frequent smile and a little patience with my collection of imperfections - I don't think in terms of ideal partners. It's too much of a pressure on life, and that kind of high expectations wouldn't let me enjoy what I had.

Which at the moment is nothing, so my current goal for ideal woman is one who breathes.

#L

 

[Liar]

I always thought what I was looking for was a feisty European woman - a bit of a firecracker. Last weekend I hooked up with an old girlfriend and things were mindblowing. We finished because neither of us thought we were compatible, but it's turned out that neither of us can stop thinking about it each. What does that mean?

It means that there is no manual to the human spirit, and that logical desicion quite often turn out to be the wrong ones. Best thing is to go with whatever feels right, but to be prepared that we might go wrong.

 

[Softouch911]

... Maybe I'll stop thinking about it....

A very wise decision in these matters, imo. I've analyzed myself right out of happiness a number of times. I've given up on thinking about matters like that. You don't need advice. You need her. Your heart will tell you if its' wrong.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Stop thinking about it, Sheh. You do what you do and feel what you feel and what do you care whether it has a name or whether it's been done before or never been done before? Whether she's Arious or Leon or Aquarium or Capsicorn.

I know, I know--love is like a jewel you find and you can't help but turn it this way and that and rub it against your teeth and trying to figure out what it is and how it works. That won't make it any more or less wonderful though.

 

[TheEarl]

I know, I know--love is like a jewel you find and you can't help but turn it this way and that and rub it against your teeth and trying to figure out what it is and how it works. That won't make it any more or less wonderful though.

That is possibly one of the most apposite descriptions I've ever read.

The Earl

 

[scheherazade_79]

love is like a jewel you find and you can't help but turn it this way and that and rub it against your teeth and trying to figure out what it is and how it works. That won't make it any more or less wonderful though.

Beautifully put, Dr M. I liked that one.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Just wanted to say thanks for all the responses and advice. You all made some fantastic points.

Incidentally, we've just been speaking on the phone for over an hour. Isn't it amazing how you can talk around issues without actually covering them at all? All the way through I just wanted to blurt out and say something along the lines of -

"So, honey... where are we going with this?"

But then I realised that if she asked me the same question, I wouldn't have a clue how to answer her at the moment.

So I came to the conclusion that it's definitely better to leave things to develop (or not develop) on their own.

 

[cantdog]

Zoot is aphoristic: wise, succinct and colorful.

Liar's answer bears repeating, too. In fact, there is little to add, any more.

 

[SeaCat]

Love just is. It can't be dscribed, it can't be quantified, hell it can't be stopped. It just is. Don't think about it, just feel it and go where it tells you to go.

Cat