self esteem

[jaded_lily]

i've always had low self-esteem, but since i gained weight it's gotten worse. yeah i know it's a natural part of life and all that especially after you've had kids.

my problem, i weigh 246, and i have tried everything that i can think of to get back down to the weight i was before i had kids, which is 145, i have tried every diet that i can think of and nothing works,, i walk, i try to exercise as much as possible, nothing works..


i suggested the gastric bypass since this may be the only way that i can get rid of this extra weight i'm carrying around. he said no even tho being at this weight i am at risk to cancer ( already had cancer and had to have partial hysto), diabetes and some other things. and i am 100 pounds over weight.

i know my husband loves me for who i am, but i want to do this for me so that i feel better about myself.


i would like some suggestions on what has worked for you guys, i am at a lost and just about willing to try anything.

 

[borusewicz]

I am no expert, but I here are a few things.

Food
-diets don't work
-what you eat is important. Snack on healthy foods, not potato chips, candy, etc.
-stop drinking soda, drink water or 100% juice
-eat 5-6 small meals a day, instead of the normal 3 (or 2 for some people)
-can never eat enough fruits and vege's

Exercise
-lift weights because it increases your metabolism, so you burn fat while your not working out.
-do some cardio, but don't live in the aerobics room.
-swimming is the best workout cause it works every muscle in your body and it is easy on your joints

Hope some of those help.

I think the gastric bypass is risky and should be a last resort.

 

[jaded_lily]

thanks


i don't really eat sweets and junk food anymore, only occasionally will my husband and i eat out. the pop is another story, i can't stand the taste of water for some reason. what about tea?
still working on the fruits and veggies.

question: why 5-6 small instead of 3 med


got some idea on what could be used around the house for weights other than my kids lol,, money is really really tight right now, but that's another story.



thanks for the reply i really appreciate it

 

[dollface007]

I've just started reading Bob Greene's (Oprah's trainer) book "Get with the Program." It has already helped me even though I am still within my "normal" weight range (but a little to heavy for my own taste). I chose the book b/c it's about lifestyle, emotion, food, and exercise management...not about a diet. My parents are both overweight, arthritic and diabetic in their 50s...i don't want to end up like them.

First of all, don't try to do this on your own. You need professional help and support from family and friends. Have your doctor refer you to a dietician or nutritionist. See a personal trainer...even if it's just for a few sessions. If you cannot afford these things, try Bob Greene's book (i bought it at a used book store for a few bucks) and rely on that for exercise and nutrition advice. Next, i would strongly suggest finding a workout partner. My workout partner (a friend from work) and i have been exercising together for over 2 months now, and we both agree that we could not keep motivated if it weren't for the partnership. She has finally dropped below 200 lbs...a big milestone for her, and me as her partner.

Be careful about taking exercise advise from non-professionals. I started out on my own by doing weightlifting and cardio. However, i ended up sabotaging my weightloss b/c weightlifting increased my appetite so much, and my bad eating habits took over. That was one of the first things i learned from Bob Greene's book...it was a lightbulb moment for me. (In other words, you need to have the tools in place to handle your increased metabolism. weightlifting is great, and alot of fun, but you shouldn't jump into it head first). Also, swimming is not an effective aerobic excercise. Even competitive swimmers get their cardio workout outside the pool. Unless you have severe joint pain, you shouldn't rely on swimming for exercise as suggested above (again, from Bob's book).

I hope you read this as a little advice, but more as me sharing my experience in trying to enter the world of the "healthy lifestyle." You really do deserve to feel and look your best...just keep telling yourself that. Believe me, your kids will be much better off having a healthy mother.

 

[jaded_lily]

i would have to workout alone, the only friend i really have (yup i''m a loner lol) is too wrapped up in herself and her b//f to do things with me anymore, another story.


i've talked to my doc about several different things and he is not helping nor is he recommending anything for me., just diet after diet after diet. i think it's time to find a new doc.



yes i know this sounds like a pity party, but it's the truth

 

[Metal_Monkey]

There are a couple of things that have worked for me.

The first is a macrobiotic lifestyle. Basically, you only eat fruits and vegetables, nuts, and natural proteins, etc. You don't eat anything animal-related (meat, poultry, fish, eggs, milk, butter) and you avoid certain grains and especially processed food like bread, canned anything, sugar, etc. I have a list of dos and don'ts that I can send you if you like. It's a detox program that you follow for one month. Then you can incorporate stuff like fish and lean meats if you want to, but only if they're all natural organic.

It's a HARD program that is almost impossible to follow at friend's houses and in restaurants because it's based on theories of food-combining that Americans weren't taught growing up. We mix protein and starches all the time. It's considered a rounded meal. A macrobiotic/vegan lifestyle encourages fruit consumption only in the morning, then starches and vegetable at lunch, and protein and vegetables at dinner.

Upsides: your grocery bill will be MUCH lower after only buying produce and no meat. You WILL be much healthier. You'll feel the difference in your own body, guaranteed. The weight loss is incidental to becoming healthier. I lost a significant amount of weight.

Second thing that worked is called the fruit and salad diet. Eat only fruit and salad. You can order salads at restaurants, order take-out salads, or make your own. If you're hungry or want something different, eat any kind of fruit. As long as your salads have vegetables in them, maybe even some grilled chicken, you'll be a lot healthier than if you order pizza again, or munch on a sandwich at lunch. The funny thing is that, after a few days, you'll start CRAVING salads (I'm not kidding - used to hate salads).

 

[dollface007]

i would have to workout alone, the only friend i really have (yup i''m a loner lol) is too wrapped up in herself and her b//f to do things with me anymore, another story.


i've talked to my doc about several different things and he is not helping nor is he recommending anything for me., just diet after diet after diet. i think it's time to find a new doc.

Yeah, get thee to another doc pronto. He should be doing everything possible to help you with your weightloss. But, don't wait for him. Here's something that has worked for both my mother (who has recently lost alot of weight) and my aunt (who has lost about 80 lbs and looks fabulous. I'm thinking it might just work for you since you don't have a partner and you have kids to take care of...
Leslie Sansone has a video series called "Walk Away the Pounds."
Amazon link
All you have to do is walking in place indoors. It sounds way too simple, but I've seen personally that it gets results. I've always felt that exercise should easily fit into your life. Like, you shouldn't have to instantly become mountain biker to be fit....you'll never stick to it.

Also, you have to drink water. Have to have to. In fact, if you really start exercising, your body will tell you that you have to drink water....your other choice will be taking yourself to the ER for dehydtration. If you don't like the taste, drink bottled water, or get a Brita pitcher, or put a lime wedge in your water. And guess what, you might have to pee a little more than usual, but is that worse than being 100 lbs overweight? In other words, there's no excuse for not drinking water.

 

[jaded_lily]

Also, you have to drink water. Have to have to. In fact, if you really start exercising, your body will tell you that you have to drink water....your other choice will be taking yourself to the ER for dehydtration. If you don't like the taste, drink bottled water, or get a Brita pitcher, or put a lime wedge in your water. And guess what, you might have to pee a little more than usual, but is that worse than being 100 lbs overweight? In other words, there's no excuse for not drinking water.

you have a point. i was wondering if the pilates videos would help any? i burned the videos off the internet and haven't tried them due to back problems caused by weight. think this would be a good place to start?

 

[dollface007]

There are a couple of things that have worked for me.

The first is a macrobiotic lifestyle. Basically, you only eat fruits and vegetables, nuts, and natural proteins, etc. You don't eat anything animal-related (meat, poultry, fish, eggs, milk, butter) and you avoid certain grains and especially processed food like bread, canned anything, sugar, etc. I have a list of dos and don'ts that I can send you if you like. It's a detox program that you follow for one month. Then you can incorporate stuff like fish and lean meats if you want to, but only if they're all natural organic.

Actually, that's not what a macrobiotic lifestyle is about at all. It's about eating food that is grown and caught (in the case of fish) locally so that all of the nutrients in the food are preserved and not lost during processing or shipping. Macrobiotics can eat meat, as long as it is local and fresh. Your version sounds more like a cross between a vegan lifestyle and a raw food diet.

 

[dollface007]

you have a point. i was wondering if the pilates videos would help any?

If it were me, i would use it only as a supplement to your cardio workouts. I have a couple friends who have the Windsor Pilates tapes, and they only use it to supplement, mainly for muscle tone.

 

[Weird Harold]

question: why 5-6 small instead of 3 med


got some idea on what could be used around the house for weights other than my kids lol,, money is really really tight right now, but that's another story.

The others have given you good advice, so I won't bother to reiterate.

Numerous small meals is a way to control your hunger and shrink your stomach so that you don't eat between meals. The trick is that they have to be SMALL meals and regularly scheduled. Plan a menu and schedule and stick to them rigorously.

For weights, try gallon jugs or two liter soda bottles filled with water. Since one pint of water weighs one pound, it's easy to control the amount of weight you're working with. The drawback is that water is bulky, so you won't be able to build up to more than about 16 pounds (two gallons) before it becomes awkward to work with.

With pair of pulleys, a large box and some rope -- make sure they're strong enough for the weight you'll be using -- you can rig a counter-balance system to combine several gallon jugs or concrete patio blocks for higher wieghts.

You don't really need Big weights though -- repititions are more important than weight in the beginning.

 

[jaded_lily]

Yeah, get thee to another doc pronto.

i just did and i have an appt with her on monday, lol

 

[jaded_lily]

thank you wierd harold for the advice, actually thanks to everyone for the advice.

 

[Suzins]

I have back problems as well. I found that I really enjoyed Aerobics classes, but some were easier on my back than others.

I'm not sure where you're located, but at Wal-Mart they have a great selection of exercise videos. Try a Stability Ball one. The balls are fun and the only way I have ever been able to do a proper crunch without hurting more muscles in my neck than in my stomach LOL

I know I got my ball at Wal-Mart for under ten dollars. Plus the balls are fun to have around the house for the kids to play with too. They are actually comfortable to sit on, and it's something you can do while the kids are around and while you're watching TV.

Congratulations on even trying to do this, it's definitely not easy, but even when you think it's not working, just keep going it will eventually. I'd stay away from a scale too. Let your clothes be the judge in how they fit. Just try not to get hung up on a number. Because it shouldn't be about the fact that you only weigh 145 again, but that you're feeling better about yourself.

Good luck!!

 

[Suzins]

I have back problems as well. I found that I really enjoyed Aerobics classes, but some were easier on my back than others.

I'm not sure where you're located, but at Wal-Mart they have a great selection of exercise videos. Try a Stability Ball one. The balls are fun and the only way I have ever been able to do a proper crunch without hurting more muscles in my neck than in my stomach LOL

I know I got my ball at Wal-Mart for under ten dollars. Plus the balls are fun to have around the house for the kids to play with too. They are actually comfortable to sit on, and it's something you can do while the kids are around and while you're watching TV.

Congratulations on even trying to do this, it's definitely not easy, but even when you think it's not working, just keep going it will eventually. I'd stay away from a scale too. Let your clothes be the judge in how they fit. Just try not to get hung up on a number. Because it shouldn't be about the fact that you only weigh 145 again, but that you're feeling better about yourself.

Good luck!!

 

[Suzins]

I have back problems as well. I found that I really enjoyed Aerobics classes, but some were easier on my back than others.

I'm not sure where you're located, but at Wal-Mart they have a great selection of exercise videos. Try a Stability Ball one. The balls are fun and the only way I have ever been able to do a proper crunch without hurting more muscles in my neck than in my stomach LOL

I know I got my ball at Wal-Mart for under ten dollars. Plus the balls are fun to have around the house for the kids to play with too. They are actually comfortable to sit on, and it's something you can do while the kids are around and while you're watching TV.

Congratulations on even trying to do this, it's definitely not easy, but even when you think it's not working, just keep going it will eventually. I'd stay away from a scale too. Let your clothes be the judge in how they fit. Just try not to get hung up on a number. Because it shouldn't be about the fact that you only weigh 145 again, but that you're feeling better about yourself.

Good luck!!

 

[Mrs Peel]

In addition to the book which was mentioned above, Bob Greene also has a website. Take a look, perhaps you'll find it helpful. http://www.getwiththeprogram.org

I can't imagine how a diet consisting only of fruit and salad can be healthy. Where's the protein? Plus, you also need SOME fat in your diet. If you're always adding beans, soy, nuts, cheese, fish or meat...OK. But a diet exclusively of vegetables and fruit? Sure, you'd lose weight, but I think you'd also get pretty sick.

 

[dollface007]

Just a follow-up about the back problems.....

Anything listed as "low impact" is good. An example: My mom has severe back problems and fibromyalgia. She is able to use the "Walk Away the Pounds" videos without aggravating her back and walking inside on the carpet (as opposed to the pavement outside) also helps her.

 

[Suzins]

OMG, tripple post? Looks like I was going for some record.

Or maybe I just REALLY like the stability ball LOL Sorry bout that

 

[Needssome]

My best advice for losing weight is to find a way to make exercise a part of your life. For example, in order to save money I started walking to school instead of taking the bus. It's a 25-30 minute walk (2X a day), but I chose the location in part to force myself to walk (at least during the summer, after a couple of falls on icy sidewalks during the winter I took the bus until things warmed up again). However, other than feeling a bit better physically I didn't really lose any weight until I started challenging myself to get to school as quick as possible and without changing my eating habits a lot I managed to lose 15 pounds in a way that felt effortless. I'm still losing weight (it's not that quick unfortunately now, but I'm trying to eat better as well). In your case, force yourself to find some reason to walk. Walk to the store (if it's close enough, or even ride a bike) instead of driving, walk the kids to school, offer to walk a neighbour's dog who is at work at all day. Find a physical activity that you love! Something you can do with your kids or your husband! Getting the kids involved (even if they're babes in stollers) is a great way to get them active and prevent them from becoming obese themselves!

I also highly recommend Pilates. I have started doing that fairly regularly as well mostly because I LOVE the feeling of being limber and being much more flexible (I can finally touch my toes and put my palms to the floor!). The bf also doesn't mind the increased flexibility either . For you, it would probably be an excellent program since the exercises are designed to strengthen your core muscles - your abs and your back. I know someone who had her back pain greatly reduced after doing it regularly. However it may depend on why your back hurts. I have back pain due to large breasts and it hasn't helped with that much at all.

As for eating healthier, try and find something that you can live with for the rest of your life. For example, living on fruits and salads would get really repetitive after a while and eventually you would rebound into your old eating patterns and gain back all the weight you lost. Not a good idea! Being a yo-yo dieter is dangerous to your health! One thing I have been trying is to change eating white foods (white rice, white bread, white pasta, english muffins, tortillas, pitas, etc.) and eating their whole wheat counterparts instead. They're more expensive, but they're not digested as quickly (lower on the glycemic index) and so you're not as hungry as quickly.

All I can say is good luck! And I'm sorry this is soooo darn long!

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

I hope that the new doctor is able to help you. I would recommend the Dr. Phil book...The Ultimate Weight loss challenge or something like that. I have read it and it helped me identify some of the behaviors I had that were accomidating my weight. I am extremely overweight and have been working lately to correct that.
Exercise is so crucial. I have a video Pilates for dummies. It is wonderful and it helps you start out slow. You start out doing 5 or 6 of the 18 movements and each one has three different levels so if you are just starting out you can still do it. I alternate mine with low impact aerobics.
Water is very important to keep from dehydrating. I was told that it was alright to substitute a few glasses of water a day with a drink like Crystal light. That is mainly water with flavoring. It doesn't have sugar and it has very few calories. Now you still have to drink water on it's own, but this helps with the lack of taste.
Another thing that helped me food wise was cutting out a lot of my starches. I very rarely eat potatoes and pasta any more. When I do eat pasta, I try to eat wheat pasta. I eat wheat bread only now and really enjoy it.
What has helped me the most I think, is having someone to hold me accountable and say "ok are you doing what you are supposed to." It's too easy to back out of things. I hope that maybe this new doctor can do that for you.
Best of luck!

 

[SweetErika]

Water

I don't have a problem drinking a lot of (double-filtered) water, but for the past year, I've also been drinking a couple of quarts of iced decaf green tea (often diluted with water or instead of water). I use Salada Antioxidant Decaf Green Tea...it's got a great citrus flavor, and since I've been drinking several cups per day, I haven't been as hungry, and it appears my horrible immune system has become super strong (I'm around sick rugrats all the time, and I haven't had one virus in the past year...amazing!). Green tea has a ton of health benefits, from dental to metabolism to disease prevention, so it might be a good addition to your diet and exercise program.

Adding lemon/lime to your water is a great suggestion too, as is Crystal Light if you don't have a NutraSweet sensitivity. I just really love this green tea for the health and flavor benefits!

 

[SmilinAngel]

My friend tried Weight Watchers. It really worked for her because it provided some organization/structure, but not so much that she felt trapped. She did it online so she didn't have to go to meetings and stuff like that. She also enjoyed learning new food recipes and being able to cook a more diverse set of meals. Even her husband lost a few pounds just from eating the dinners. I tried some of the food when I went over for dinners and desserts and such, and all the food tasted great. Plus, with the flexpoints, she could give into strong cravings and dinners out without the guilt. Anyway, hope that helps. Good luck!

 

[Metal_Monkey]

Actually, that's not what a macrobiotic lifestyle is about at all. It's about eating food that is grown and caught (in the case of fish) locally so that all of the nutrients in the food are preserved and not lost during processing or shipping. Macrobiotics can eat meat, as long as it is local and fresh. Your version sounds more like a cross between a vegan lifestyle and a raw food diet.

You're right - I was over simplifying. Additionally, macrobiotics follows the seasons. It can be pretty impractical if you live .... oh .... in Arizona.

But yeah - the regimen I'm familiar with is more like vegan/raw foods living than macrobiotics. Fit for Life (the book) is really close to it. Check a copy out of the library if you're interested.

 

[jaded_lily]

In your case, force yourself to find some reason to walk. Walk to the store (if it's close enough, or even ride a bike) instead of driving, walk the kids to school, offer to walk a neighbour's dog who is at work at all day. Find a physical activity that you love! Something you can do with your kids or your husband! Getting the kids involved (even if they're babes in stollers) is a great way to get them active and prevent them from becoming obese themselves!

i walk just about everywhere, only because i was in a car accident a year and 5 months ago. i am not on my husband insurance yet, hell i'm not sure i'm even ready to drive yet. i walk my son to school when it's nice out. my husband is always at work lol, so i would have to find something for me and the boys who are 6, 3 and 2 yrs old. with the metabolism the kids have them being obese shouldn't be a prob because i wasn't big til after i had the kids and none of their fathers are what you would call big.