How do I relax down there?

[nene_x]

So I'm gonna get straight to the point. I really, really want to have sex but I close up down there. Like my vagina will literally will not let even a finger go in. But I did sleep with my ex although it wasn't enjoyable until the fourth time we had sex. But then we broke up. And I thought I was all good and it's been a year since and I'm talking to this new guy and we tried having sex like a month ago and it would just not go in. Even with lube. I'm meeting him again soon but I'm so nervous it wont go in again. Idk what to do

Any advice to relax myself? Or if any of y'all faced the same issue how did you get through it?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Have you tried speaking with your gynecologist about this? For a lot of women, we need to feel 100% safe to be able to relax and really enjoy sex. But, what you’re describing seems like it may be more complex than needing help relaxing and feeling safe. I would definitely recommend speaking to an OB/GYN about this. Hopefully the guy you’re seeing is full of green flags and wants to support you through this. And I sure hope you find your way to relaxing and really enjoying sex.

Welcome to Lit

 

[nene_x]

Have you tried speaking with your gynecologist about this? For a lot of women, we need to feel 100% safe to be able to relax and really enjoy sex. But, what you’re describing seems like it may be more complex than needing help relaxing and feeling safe. I would definitely recommend speaking to an OB/GYN about this. Hopefully the guy you’re seeing is full of green flags and wants to support you through this. And I sure hope you find your way to relaxing and really enjoying sex.

Welcome to Lit

Unfortunately my gynaecologist is someone my family knows and I’d be cooked if they found out I’m sexually active, but I’m working towards it (saving up and tryna find a gynec who’s more up my alley for this situation)

But thank you for your kind words and advice! So excited to be part of the community on here

 

[jehoram]

What ToPleaseHim said. I'll add this: Be frank with your "new guy" and let him know that it's not him, it's you. But if he's a keeper, he'll let you take all the time you need to relax. And if he's good enough and patient enough to pleasure you orally and you can get into that, it's a good way to break the ice, so to speak.

And if you can't trust your OB/GYN to keep patient/doctor confidentiality, you definitely need another one.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Unfortunately my gynaecologist is someone my family knows and I’d be cooked if they found out I’m sexually active, but I’m working towards it (saving up and tryna find a gynec who’s more up my alley for this situation)

But thank you for your kind words and advice! So excited to be part of the community on here

Are you in the US? If so, HIPAA should protect you here. But, if you don’t feel safe, I do hope you find a new dr with the quickness.

 

[Live4themoments]

Check your area for free clinics, or clinics will take what you can afford to pay. The service might not be the greatest but from there you can get referrals for other clinics. Even if having intercourse is difficult there are other things you can do for sex, just not penetration. That may relax you enough where it might be possible.

 

[Tall_One35]

Gummies.

 

[nene_x]

Are you in the US? If so, HIPAA should protect you here. But, if you don’t feel safe, I do hope you find a new dr with the quickness.

Nah, not in the US. Yeah i did find a new doctor! Going to see her this weekend )

 

[Smoothsucker60]

Nah, not in the US. Yeah i did find a new doctor! Going to see her this weekend )

You just need some hot foreplay

 

[Pabiporffor]

All good advice so far about seeing a gyno, but if everything is OK downstairs and it's just an inability to relax then I suggest intercrural sex, particularly in the spoons position or doggy.

Just take that dick between your thighs so it rubs along the outside of your pussy gliding between the lips, no penetration. It'll help you mentally relax and after a few sessions you'll feel ready for penetration.

 

[Smoothsucker60]

So I'm gonna get straight to the point. I really, really want to have sex but I close up down there. Like my vagina will literally will not let even a finger go in. But I did sleep with my ex although it wasn't enjoyable until the fourth time we had sex. But then we broke up. And I thought I was all good and it's been a year since and I'm talking to this new guy and we tried having sex like a month ago and it would just not go in. Even with lube. I'm meeting him again soon but I'm so nervous it wont go in again. Idk what to do

Any advice to relax myself? Or if any of y'all faced the same issue how did you get through it?

Have your partner lick your ass and pussy repeatedly for a period of time this will relax you down there!

 

[SweetlyShy]

I give myself permission to relax, no matter what I accomplished (or didn't) that day.