Sammy?

[angel_girl]

I see this everywhere...what does this mean?

 

[myinnerslut]

SAM is an acronym for Smart Assed Masochist... generally meaning someone who does something wrong on purpose in order to get punished

 

[Kajira Callista]

I see this everywhere...what does this mean?

It's just a nickname for Kajira Callista...It doesn't mean anything bad...really it doesn't

 

[serijules]

SAM is an acronym for Smart Assed Masochist... generally meaning someone who does something wrong on purpose in order to get punished

I'd disagree with this actually...that is my definition of a brat. I define a SAM more so as a submissive/bottom with a "smart mouth", sort of a blend of submissive and brat. I used to be called a SAM at one point as my friends were all spankos and brats and while I had no interest in bratting, I tended to be playfully mouthy with the people that spanked me, often to encourage them to spank me harder since I am such a masochist. Alas, "smart assed masochist".

I see the word used with a lot more negativity in the BDSM community than in the spanking community. BDSMers seem to use it as an insult as in "no real submissive would ever be mouthy or do anything except be demure and obedient" where the spanko attitude tends to be more "s/he is submissive but has a fun, sassy streak in them".


*shrugs*

 

[shy slave]

It's just a nickname for Kajira Callista...It doesn't mean anything bad...really it doesn't

And Gracie

I think you both hold the joint title on this one

 

[angel_girl]

ahh...

Well now...this sounds much like me. I tend to be a smart ass anyway with a pretty quick wit and I hardly ever 'edit' myself. I don't think I'd ever mouth off or be sarcastic as a way to be punished, though. More like because that's just what I do.

This might be a bit of a problem for me , I think. Anyone who spends any time at all talking with me will see it immediately...

 

[Rox_shybutcurious]

ahh...

Well now...this sounds much like me. I tend to be a smart ass anyway with a pretty quick wit and I hardly ever 'edit' myself. I don't think I'd ever mouth off or be sarcastic as a way to be punished, though. More like because that's just what I do.

This might be a bit of a problem for me , I think. Anyone who spends any time at all talking with me will see it immediately...

I'm actually not much of a smart alec very often, but have made comments to "test the waters" so to speak during the last couple of relationships. Not sure if that would get classified as SAM or just being a brat. And probably not the best way to go about things, but long before I took any time to research and actually figure stuff out. And it never worked anyway. Not an area they were interested in exploring, I guess.

Rox.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

And it never worked anyway. Not an area they were interested in exploring, I guess.

Rox.

smiles

That may be the most perfect understatement of the Year. 'Bravo'

 

[angel_girl]

And it never worked anyway. Not an area they were interested in exploring, I guess.

Rox.

This is where my problem might lie. I've been called difficult because of it and while I'm willing to try and reign it in a bit, I don't know that I could just stop being 'me' in order to find someone willing to guide me through this.

 

[Rox_shybutcurious]

This is where my problem might lie. I've been called difficult because of it and while I'm willing to try and reign it in a bit, I don't know that I could just stop being 'me' in order to find someone willing to guide me through this.

Well I don’t think you should have to stop being you or that someone should expect you to. But I know what you mean. It’s hard for me to picture somebody having enough patience and understanding to put up with lots of baby steps. Especially if in the process you get spooked and end up taking some back steps too.

To bring it more into topic, what if some of the smarting off is kind of a defense mechanism to getting spooked. Would it still be considered being Sammy or a brat?

Rox.

 

[lne_iii]

Whatever you call it (I prefer brat, cause it goes in with spanking better that way imo) ...me likey.

 

[SpectreT]

To answer that last question, it's in the beholder's eye.

I wouldn't consider it such, but in a situation where the dominant is unaware that it's a defense mechanism in operation, may mistakenly interpret it as an undesireable "topping from below".

To address the original point:

I have had some misgivings about how "SAM" has become a euphemism for passive-aggressive topping from below; but that's where the definition of the label has drifted. There used to be a few on here who had no negative feelings about calling themselves "SAM"s, and no-one gave them flack for it, as it was understood to mean "Bratty smart-mouthed submissive", not "Passive-aggressive pseudosub", which it's come to mean.

Personally, I prefer a bratty, smart-mouthed partner, on either side of the power balance, though I'd prefer also they have enough empathy to not push it too far (into the land of genuinely pissing me off), and I used to understand that as SAM, but the definition seems to have moved on me. So be it. I just say I like wisecracking brats, now.

 

[serijules]

I have to say that I can't imagine my relationship if I were not allowed to be a little "sammy" or whatever you want to call it now and then. I hate the idea of being expected to behave something akin to a doormat or to be so serious all the time. Sometimes some of our scenes dissolve into us both laughing so hard we are crying, from some smart assed comment I've made or some silly thing I've done. Sometimes I'll tease my Owner in ways that I KNOW I'll get my butt beat for later, but at the time they are appropriate and we enjoy them. I'm known amoungst my friends for my smark-alec comments and dry sense of humour. I couldn't be with someone that didn't accept and appreciate that. All of my past play partners and relationship partners have not only accepted it, but were drawn to me because of that wit. I'm normally a very serious person, so when I'm comfortable enough to let the "attitude" come out, it's noticable and often enjoyed.

I used to just call it being a "SAM" but I've refrained from doing that, at least here, because the attitude towards it is so negative. It kind of makes me sad.

 

[angel_girl]

Personally, I prefer a bratty, smart-mouthed partner, on either side of the power balance, though I'd prefer also they have enough empathy to not push it too far (into the land of genuinely pissing me off), and I used to understand that as SAM, but the definition seems to have moved on me. So be it. I just say I like wisecracking brats, now.

I have to say that I can't imagine my relationship if I were not allowed to be a little "sammy" or whatever you want to call it now and then. I hate the idea of being expected to behave something akin to a doormat or to be so serious all the time. Sometimes some of our scenes dissolve into us both laughing so hard we are crying, from some smart assed comment I've made or some silly thing I've done. Sometimes I'll tease my Owner in ways that I KNOW I'll get my butt beat for later, but at the time they are appropriate and we enjoy them. I'm known amoungst my friends for my smark-alec comments and dry sense of humour. I couldn't be with someone that didn't accept and appreciate that. All of my past play partners and relationship partners have not only accepted it, but were drawn to me because of that wit. I'm normally a very serious person, so when I'm comfortable enough to let the "attitude" come out, it's noticable and often enjoyed.

I used to just call it being a "SAM" but I've refrained from doing that, at least here, because the attitude towards it is so negative. It kind of makes me sad.

This gives a girl hope! I do know when to stop so I don't genuinely piss someone off (at least I hope so!)...

 

[BiBunny]

I, too, admit that I'm not so sure about the negative connonations of SAM or sammy or whatever. I've been called a brat before, but certainly not by my own Master. (Of course, I thought this guy was a dickhead, so I guess the feeling was mutual.) I'm a smart-ass. That's just how I am. It has nothing to do with me being submissive or not being submissive; it's more of an aspect of my personality that spills over. That being said, I do know when it's appropriate and when it's not. When Master's feeling playful, it's ok for me to be silly and sarcastic, too. When he's not in that kind of mood, I keep my mouth shut. Period.

I guess it really all comes down to the dynamic of your (general "you") relationship. Master and I have a similar sense of humor, and we're always trying to one-up each other with zingy little one-liners. It's fun. Hell, sometimes it's foreplay! Like I said, though, when I know it's obedience he desires from me instead of sarcasm, I shut up and serve. That's why he's never considered me a brat.

 

[FurryFury]

I've witnessed some Sammy behavior during a demo. (Actually it was after the demo and more into the who wants to try this part of the night.) I must say I found it somewhat amusing especially when the electricity was turned up on his cock. A point was made.



Fury

 

[the captians wench]

I think our relationship grew a lot when I let loose my tongue and started with the smart assed comments that I would normally give any one. When I first submitted to Jounar, I was always careful with my words, never talked back, never threw a fuss, always answered with things like "what ever you desire I desire" and such. I remember him getting very frusterated with me. When we talked about it, I realized that the "perfect submissive" was not what he was interested in, he was interested in me, smart mouth and all.

 

[Netzach]

I have to say that I can't imagine my relationship if I were not allowed to be a little "sammy" or whatever you want to call it now and then. I hate the idea of being expected to behave something akin to a doormat or to be so serious all the time. Sometimes some of our scenes dissolve into us both laughing so hard we are crying, from some smart assed comment I've made or some silly thing I've done. Sometimes I'll tease my Owner in ways that I KNOW I'll get my butt beat for later, but at the time they are appropriate and we enjoy them. I'm known amoungst my friends for my smark-alec comments and dry sense of humour. I couldn't be with someone that didn't accept and appreciate that. All of my past play partners and relationship partners have not only accepted it, but were drawn to me because of that wit.

See for me this is like "ok, cool, lights are on, people are home" I don't see it as SAMMY or baiting. If I was with someone who was let down because I didn't beat them for having a smart mouth but did beat them because I felt like it, though, I'd have issues.

 

[serijules]

See for me this is like "ok, cool, lights are on, people are home" I don't see it as SAMMY or baiting. If I was with someone who was let down because I didn't beat them for having a smart mouth but did beat them because I felt like it, though, I'd have issues.

I think the reason some people call that sammy as it is a way to separate that behaviour from bratting. I personally find bratting highly distasteful to be around or be subjected to, but I've had people that don't know me mistake my "wit" or teasing as being bratty just because that can also be a behaviour displayed by brats (although usually with intentions to provoke, which I have none of).

The only time I would honestly be punished for having a smart mouth is if I was intentionally disrespectful, something I have never done and never will do. Ma'am doesn't tolerate bratting and I don't have it in me to be a brat. Sometimes Ma'am will playfully "punish" me for a smart alec comment, but it's all in good fun so there's no room for disappointment if it does or does not happen. Usually "I'm beating you because I want to" is the theme of the day.

 

[Quint]

...........

 

[angel_girl]

Click here for way more info than you need

Those were good times.

Loved it! Thanks Quint.

 

[Betticus]

I think shy slave is stealth ninja sammy!

 

[Aeroil]

I'm a smart ass. However, instead of using it to elicit punishment, I use it to spread parody and wit, mostly in the form of copy pasta.

^_^

 

[Etoile]

I wouldn't consider it such, but in a situation where the dominant is unaware that it's a defense mechanism in operation, may mistakenly interpret it as an undesireable "topping from below".

*jaw drops*

This made SO much sense to me just now. Thank you!

 

[Etoile]

See for me this is like "ok, cool, lights are on, people are home" I don't see it as SAMMY or baiting. If I was with someone who was let down because I didn't beat them for having a smart mouth but did beat them because I felt like it, though, I'd have issues.

I think I love you. Come here and let me kiss you.