rudeness

[slut_4daddy]

If a subby type personality posts on this board are they expected to act subby all the time? And if they talk in a nonsubby way --especially to a dom/me type person, is that considered rude?

Because I'm not really that type of sub. But I don't want to offend anyone.

Sorry if this is a stupid question. Hope it's not.

 

[Kajira Callista]

If a subby type personality posts on this board are they expected to act subby all the time? And if they talk in a nonsubby way --especially to a dom/me type person, is that considered rude?

Because I'm not really that type of sub. But I don't want to offend anyone.

Sorry if this is a stupid question. Hope it's not.

you need to read the frequent questions thread

 

[catalina_francisco]

You post as you. There may be some who feel it appropriate to act sublike to anyone posting as a Dominant, but there are also many who are extremely submissive in their relationships who have an opinion and are confident in posting it. It is a discussion board, not a role play board so you are not expected to submit to the Dominants, just enjoy and take from here that which makes you happy.

Catalina

 

[s'lara]

i think the definition of rudeness is subjective.

That said, to be submissive does not negate the possibility of disagreement with Dominant on any given subject. What is rude, imo, is the inability to express that disagreement to the Dominant without resorting to tantrums, snideness, namecalling, disparaging character assassnations and so on.

If you can interact with other posters here, be they submissives or Dominants, without resorting to any of the above behavior, you really don't have to worry about whether rudeness is a problem when speaking your mind.

Good luck.

lara

P.S. Here is the Frequently Asked Questions thread referred to by Kajira.

l.

 

[Kassiana]

From my (admittedly limited) reading on the subject, I'd say the only one you're really expected to be submissive to is YOUR dominant partner(s). Unless the dominants here are YOUR dominants, I don't think you need to submit to them.

Of course, you don't need to be a total asshole to them, either, just because you don't have to sub to them, but I hope I didn't have to say that in order for you to be polite.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

...

We have a sticky at the top of the page.

Click me.

3/5s of the way down the page it reads

We’re not a BDSM chat room - we are not *in role* here - nor a general forum and don’t wish to be a place where chat room type BDSM protocol is either required or encouraged. For example - using upper/lower case for pronouns (W/we, I/i, My/yours) or for user names (Dom Sir and sub girl) - is not encouraged here. This is also not an appropriate venue for role-play scening. If your interest is on line sexual role playing, feel free to post a personal add on the Literotica Personals Forum or start a Sexual Role Playing thread. Both forums are down the hall and to the left!

We do not enjoy nor condone personally directed flame wars or other off- topic material (excessive flirting or personal conversation that interrupts serious topics), and will not allow it to dominate our threads and permeate our discussions.

Now i'll be the first to admit to bending the rules in that sticky, but i try willy willy hawd Mistah Wabbit, not to use them for toilet paper either.

 

[slut_4daddy]

Thanks all.

I did read the FQ's thread and although it does say you don't have to submit to everyone- I think my question is a little different. Maybe I should have put my question there, but I didn't really want an 'official' answer, but more to see what a variety of people would say on the subject.

I think we are going to be ok here I just felt slightly timid about possibly saying the wrong thing unintentionally, and I figured I'd ask rather than mouse around and give an incorrect first impression of me.

Everyone here seems to take the whole dom/sub thing a lot more seriously than I do in my personal life. (and I don't mean that as an insult or anything) I hope that I'm still welcome here.

 

[slut_4daddy]

Re: ...

We have a sticky at the top of the page.

Click me.

3/5s of the way down the page it reads Now i'll be the first to admit to bending the rules in that sticky, but i try willy willy hawd Mistah Wabbit, not to use them for toilet paper either.

Thank you.

I'm going to read that now.

 

[Mr Blonde]

I think the four ladies already nailed it.

But just as a dom's voice, I'd only confirm that this is a general BDSM discussion forum and not a role-playing adventure. Present yourself normally or simply do whatever feels comfortable to you.

Some people get involved making capital letters or slashes -- sometimes that makes things clearer while at other times it is just a distraction. But as long as you can communicate clearly, people will react and respond to what you are saying.

And if someone rubs you the wrong way or you don't care to see their messages, simply put that username on ignore. I will respect good posts from doms just as quick from subs, but I will also get fed up with stupid doms just as fast as stupid subs.

 

[FungiUg]

It never hurts to be polite and considerate, including when you post here. But we don't expect submissives to act submissive all of the time, no.

You choose who you submit to, and when. Just because you are posting on the board here doesn't mean you are thus submitting to everyone on the board.

As for talking in a "non-subby" way -- well... I do a lot of that myself. Admittedly, I'm a dom, not a sub, but still. There are people who take the D/s scene VERY seriously here. Some of us are a little more light-hearted (and I would include myself). I'm sure you'll find people of a like mind though.

By the way, my FAQ isn't "official". It's just a list of questions I find myself getting asked often. I thought I would share them so new people could read them, and we "old" people could discuss them.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

By the way, my FAQ isn't "official".

It is too you rude bastard.

 

[FungiUg]

It is too you rude bastard.

Aaaargh! Runs off screaming in terror

 

[Kajira Callista]

i just got this image of that big furry red monster in sneakers from bugs bunny.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

As you can see

we're not above jesting to get a point across, even it means putting a lawn dart in FU's retreating back ... http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/2cool2.gif

 

[FungiUg]

Re: As you can see

we're not above jesting to get a point across, even it means putting a lawn dart in FU's retreating back ...

Over here, we call them "Javelins".

 

[slut_4daddy]

It is too you rude bastard.

LOL, dady's lit name is "Ruthless Bastard."

Those are 'his' threads (of pictures of me) linked in my sigline.


D/s for us stands for Daddy/slut. Should I post that over on the FAQ's?

 

[TigerClaw]

There are a number of good people here to ask for advice. Learn who you can talk to and has the experience. I have found some very good caring people here. Some are willing to talk in depth with you on the topic.

You'll make mistakes. The mistakes are the rules you will not forget.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think we are going to be ok here I just felt slightly timid about possibly saying the wrong thing unintentionally, and I figured I'd ask rather than mouse around and give an incorrect first impression of me.

One of the best things to remember here is no matter how polite you are, how respectful, at some point in voicing your thoughts or opinions you are going to upset someone unintentionally. It is in my experience unavoidable and a fact of life. Sometimes it is just wrong day for someone, other times it triggers something in them that reacts, sometimes it is simply because we are not all alike and so will differ in our views and experiences. It is unfortunate and unpleasant at times, but thankfully does not happen everyday, and as a rule unless you begin name calling and abusive toward that person or the board or begin to take it too personally and react from that feeling, most will overlook it, forget it in a day or so, and some will even support you and try to make you feel comfortable.

Most times you will find the person/s with whom this episode has taken place will in time treat you the same as they treat everyone else, and may even become a good friend believe it or not. What I have found is despite what may be said at times, most here respect honesty and the confidence another has to say how they feel or think rather than becoming a yes person. Enjoy, and if you hit a rough patch take comfort in the saying 'tomorrow is another day'.

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

If all you're worried about is rudeness, then you'll be fine. But the truth is that it pays to be polite to everyone on this board not just the dom/mes. Quite frankly the subs will take you to task for rudeness just as quickly as the dom/mes.
As for how to treat the dom/mes, as stated on many many threads and by many many listers, just use common courtesy, same as you'd give anyone. The truth of the matter is just cause someone says they're a dom/me doesn't mean that they are. A 12 year old can lie about their age and get online and claim to be a dom/me. Claiming to be a dom/me doesn't mean that a person is due any more respect than the next person. Be polite and resectful, but save your actual respect for those who earn it, and you'll do just fine.

 

[Miss Diva]

I am part of another message board and there is a lady who

TYPES ONLY IN CAPITALS AND DOESN'T USE PERIOD COMMAS OR ANY PUNCTUTATION OR ANY OTHER GENERALLY ACCEPTED GRAMMATICAL OR SPELLING RULE THAT WE HAVE COME TO LEARN AND ACCEPT ON THE INTERNET AND SHE RANTS AND RAVES AND

probably has something really important and interesting to say but I don't bother. I have asked her to not use Caps and told her why and she responded that it is too difficult. Well it is too difficult for me to figure out where the sentance starts and ends so I never read her posts.

Can't wait when she gets on a more strict board and gets her ass kicked out.

Hey maybe someone could spank her for me. Any volunteers?

 

[Guest]

Re: As you can see

we're not above jesting to get a point across, even it means putting a lawn dart in FU's retreating back ... http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/2cool2.gif

Ahem.... Ummm AA? "Most" people don't fire their "Lawn Darts" out of a crossbow... You might want to look at those directions again..Hmm?