Rice-A-Roni Moment: Pearl Jam

[dr_mabeuse]

A "Rice-a-roni moment" is when you suddenly realize what something means, something that should have been obvious long ago, way after the fact. The name comes from my realization, well into my adult years, that "Rice-A-Roni" got its name because it's a combination of rice and macaroni. Duh.

I was trying to think up a slangy term for semen, and was thinking along the lines of 'drops of pearlescent' something. Pearlescent jelly came to mind. No: pearlescent jam. Pearl Jam!

Is that what Pearl Jam means? I always thought of that "Jam" as being like in "jam session". Is "Pearl Jam" semen?

Is this a Rice-a-roni moment?

---dr.M.

 

[BestiBobby]

Yeah. It's an old story. They sometimes deny it -- sometimes don't.

 

[shereads]

A "Rice-a-roni moment" is when you suddenly realize what something means, something that should have been obvious long ago, way after the fact. The name comes from my realization, well into my adult years, that "Rice-A-Roni" got its name because it's a combination of rice and macaroni. Duh.

I was trying to think up a slangy term for semen, and was thinking along the lines of 'drops of pearlescent' something. Pearlescent jelly came to mind. No: pearlescent jam. Pearl Jam!

Is that what Pearl Jam means? I always thought of that "Jam" as being like in "jam session". Is "Pearl Jam" semen?

Is this a Rice-a-roni moment?

---dr.M.

Now you're ready for the Steely Dan/Pink Floyd revelation.

 

[BestiBobby]

Now if someone could just expalin to me what stairway to heaven is all about.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Re: Re: Rice-A-Roni Moment: Pearl Jam

Now you're ready for the Steely Dan/Pink Floyd revelation.

Steely Dan I know about. A six-foot dildo from Naked Lunch. But Floyd? Floyd??? Frankly, madame, you astonish me.

Of course you know about Lovin' Spoonful, who took their name from the Willie Dixon song. What about Bob Dylan's Quinn the Eskimo, covered by Manfred Mann? ("Come on without / Come on within / You;ve not seen nothing / Like the Mighty Quinn")

But really, Floyd?

---dr.M.

 

[gauchecritic]

I'd like to know so many didn't get the meaning behind Turning Japanese, they called themselves The Strokes for fuck's sake.

Gauche

 

[MathGirl]

The San Francisco Treat........

"Rice-A-Roni" got its name because it's a combination of rice and macaroni.

Dear Dr M,
I have no opinion on the other stuff, but I really know my RaR. Been making it since I was about eight, and I don't even have to look at the instructions on the box anymore.
Beaming with pride,
MG

 

[Madame Manga]

Yeah. It's an old story. They sometimes deny it -- sometimes don't.

The printable version involves someone's aunt or grandmother named Pearl. She apparently made jam and wrote her name on the labels. This seems far less plausible than your idea, Dr. M, since I imagine your average rock band is much more given to crude sexual metaphor than to cozy domestic details.

When I think of a Rice-a-Roni moment, I'll mention it--I'm sure I've had plenty.

MM

 

[dr_mabeuse]

When I think of a Rice-a-Roni moment, I'll mention it--I'm sure I've had plenty.

MM

There's something about the Rice-a-roni moment that makes you forget them once they happen. I know I've had many, but the only ones I can think of offhand are when I figured out that Jim Henson's muppets are a hybrid of a moppet and a puppet, and when it suddenly occurred to me that the Phillipine Islands aren't in the Carribean. (Well, come on: I mean, they all have Spanish names...) (The Phillipinos, I mean; not the muppets)

---dr.M.

 

[shereads]

1. Dr. Mabeuse, you're scaring me.

2. BestiBobby, why would the Rice-a-Roni people deny that their name combines rice and macaroni?

Are they ashamed that they've combined two starches?

What the hell is happening to America's borrowed-ethnicity convenience foods industry? Did you see this in the news?

-----------------------

Franco-American Relations Break Down

PARIS—(theonion.com)With talks collapsing at the 11th hour, Franco-American relations hit an all-time low Monday, casting the future of Spaghetti-Os-brand canned pasta in serious doubt.

"Thus far, three months of negotiations have yielded bitter fruit," French minister of foods Guy Charpentier said. "Despite concessionary offers from both sides, no acceptable compromise has been reached on a number of key issues, including sauce tanginess, sodium levels, and pasta-ring size. As a result, the sort of friendly Franco-American partnership necessary to produce the neat, round spaghetti one can eat with a spoon may no longer be possible."

U.S. Canned Goods Secretary James Miller echoed Charpentier's sentiments with a terse, "Uh-oh... Spaghetti-Os are in grave jeopardy."

An ambitious Franco-American joint venture, Spaghetti-Os have been a source of tension between France and the U.S. since August, when the 10-year accord governing its production expired. U.S. delegates have refused to renew the pact unless numerous revisions are made, including a 60-40 split of profits.

"We contribute a majority of the ingredients, including all of the thiamine mononitrate, ferrous sulfate, and enzyme-modified butter—not to mention all the paper for the labels—so we should get a majority of the proceeds," Miller said.

At 11 a.m. Monday, operations at L'Usine Des Os, the world's largest Spaghetti-Os manufacturing plant, ground to a halt, leaving the world with as little as a week's supply of Spaghetti-Os in reserve. Meanwhile, French efforts to replace the O-shaped pasta with plain, easier-to-produce long spaghetti have proven fruitless, with the U.S. threatening to withhold Ravioli-Os from French supermarkets if there is an "embarg-O."

The international dispute casts a pall over the proud and storied history of Spaghetti-Os. A symbol of trans-Atlantic friendship dating back to 1965, the canned lunchtime staple began as a cooperative effort between U.S. president Lyndon Johnson and French president Charles de Gaulle, who shared the conviction that the convenient pasta meal was a delicious and nutritious way to maintain good Franco-American relations.

From 1965 to 1968, a panel of top U.S. food engineers painstakingly developed the four sizes of Os while France's most esteemed chefs developed the distinctive tomato-and-cheese sauce. When finally unveiled at a White House dinner, Johnson hailed Spaghetti-Os as "the zesty, flavorful glue that holds our two nations together in peace." Subsequent development of meatball and sliced-frank varieties of the product only added to its enduring mythos.

After years of mutual amity, however, the Age Of Spaghetti-Os may have finally come to an end. More fuel was added to the fire earlier this month, when U.N. Secretary Of Quick-Heating Prepared Foods Stefan Fredriksen openly questioned the Franco-American venture in the November issue of Bon Appetit.
"In an age when Kellogg's Pop Tarts™ are air-dropped on impoverished countries, the notion that the U.S. and France would devote so much of their resources to the production of circular spaghetti is ludicrous," Fredriksen wrote.

In a stopgap attempt to alleviate the crisis, Italian minister of cuisine Hector Boyardee offered the Franco-American alliance an emergency airlift of "ABCs & 123s"-brand pre-cooked pasta. French officials declined the offer, however, due to their American counterparts' insistence on pronouncing "123s" "one, two, threes" rather than "un, deux, troises." In a recent speech to European convenience-food authorities, French president Jacques Chirac also preemptively rejected any Italian offer of pasta shaped like Spider-Man™.

Below: Former French prime minister Lionel Jospin and U.S. Canned Goods Secretary James Miller at last month's Franco-American conference.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

To show my distaste for France's refusal to support the Iraq invasion, I always throw away half of my Franco-American spaghetti: the French half. The American half is right-on delicious all by itself.

I can't decide what to do about Italian Swiss Colony wine though. What the hell is that all about anyhow? Are they too drunk to even know where they're from?

---dr.M.

 

[shereads]

I'm grateful that Captain Crunch isn't affiliated with any foreign governments. Captain Crunch cereal, dry by the handful out of the box, is a favorite I've-hit-rock-bottom food for when the pantry and bank account are both empty, and there's a nasty showdown on The People's Court, and the weather is lousy.

Captain Crunch is the equivalent of Calvin & Hobbes' Sugar Bombs.

Yum. The caramelized sugar, the crispy faux-grains and grain substitutes.

Not with CrunchBerries, though. CrunchBerries just get in the way of Captain Crunch's pure sugary goodness. I suspect that the "Berries" are imported from Bahrain.

 

[Guest]

Captain Crunch!

My husband asks me to add - Peanut Butter Captain Crunch for him, please!

 

[KenJames]

Yeah. It's an old story. They sometimes deny it -- sometimes don't.

I don't know if "Pearl Jam" actually means semen, but I wouldn't deny it if I was in a band – "bad boy cred," you know.

 

[KenJames]

Re: Re: Rice-A-Roni Moment: Pearl Jam

Now you're ready for the Steely Dan/Pink Floyd revelation.

Okay, I'll bite. I know "Steely Dan" was the name of a dildo in a William Burroughs novel but Pink Floyd?

I remember reading that founder Syd Barret named the group after two blues musicians, "<someone> Pink" and "Floyd <someone>." Is there another story?

 

[KenJames]

Re: Captain Crunch!

My husband asks me to add - Peanut Butter Captain Crunch for him, please!

That actually reminds me of a Rice-A-Roni moment. I know I've had them but, as Dr. M said, totally forgotten what they were.

In my early twenties, I decided I was eating too much sugar on my cereal and switched to Captain Crunch. It probably took me two months to realize I was essentially eating sugar cubes for breakfast.

 

[shereads]

Re: Re: Captain Crunch!

In my early twenties, I decided I was eating too much sugar on my cereal and switched to Captain Crunch. It probably took me two months to realize I was essentially eating sugar cubes for breakfast.

Wow. Now I'm frightened for you and Dr. Mabeuse. I've had my slap-hand-to-forehead, could'a-had-a-V8 moments, but nothing quite so...so.

Was I doing the wrong drugs in my twenties?

Pink Floyd: can't document it, but I won't take it back. The guy named Pink + guy named Floyd story seems as lame as Aunt Pearl's special jam recipe.

 

[KenJames]

Re: Re: Re: Captain Crunch!

Wow. Now I'm frightened for you and Dr. Mabeuse. I've had my slap-hand-to-forehead, could'a-had-a-V8 moments, but nothing quite so...so.

Was I doing the wrong drugs in my twenties?

"I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now!" Sorry, channeling Bob Dylan.

Pink Floyd: can't document it, but I won't take it back. The guy named Pink + guy named Floyd story seems as lame as Aunt Pearl's special jam recipe.

I consider the Pink + Floyd story less lame than the Pearl Jam one, but only slightly. I was hoping for a nice juicy story, though.

How about the band 10cc, named after the average amount of fluid in a male ejaculation?

 

[shereads]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Captain Crunch!

How about the band 10cc, named after the average amount of fluid in a male ejaculation?

In the stories I read, there's lots more than that.

 

[KenJames]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Captain Crunch!

In the stories I read, there's lots more than that.

Oh yeah? What? I love bizarre band name origin stories.

 

[MathGirl]

Originally posted by dr_mabeuse I always throw away half of my Franco-American spaghetti:

Dear Dr M,
That's a terrible waste. Left over Spaghetti Os are excellent when fried.
Cuisinically,
MG