Respond with Monty Python

[ExiledWelshman]

Brian: Who cured you?

Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

 

[MrEd63]

The llama is a quadruped

 

[ExiledWelshman]

Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

 

[MrEd63]

What about a pointed stick ?

 

[ExiledWelshman]

Well, we'll not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite.

 

[MrEd63]

Trouble at mill

 

[ExiledWelshman]

Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here!

 

[MrEd63]

And now Radio 4 will explode

 

[Jada59]

Hey! We're not naming any names!

 

[MrEd63]

I want to be called Loretta

 

[Angedesoleil]

We are the knights who say Nee!

 

[ExiledWelshman]

- We were evicted from our hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake!

- You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.

- Cardboard box?

- Aye.

- You were lucky.

 

[Jada59]

But kids were different in them days...

 

[ExiledWelshman]

Good evening. Tonight on ‘Is There?’ we examine the question, ‘Is there a life after death?’ And here to discuss it are three dead people.

 

[GoldRogue]

And now ...

The 100 meter dash for people with no sense of direction!

 

[4nk8]

He’s not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy

 

[GoldRogue]

But ...

But if they'd let me wear one of those little rubber things on the end of my cock, we wouldn't be in the mess we are now.

 

[Angedesoleil]

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your Percy, or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't come about

 

[Jada59]

Michelangelo: Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.

 

[OldUncleJack]

Customer - I'd like a deodorant please

Swedish Chemist - Ball or aerosol?

Customer - Neither - it is for my armpits

 

[ExiledWelshman]

King Arthur: How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
Peasant Woman: King of the who?
King Arthur: The Britons.
Peasant Woman: Who're the "Britons"?
King Arthur: Well, we all are. We're all Britons, and I am your king.
Peasant Woman: Didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Dennis: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy, in which the working classes...
Peasant Woman: Oh, there you go, bringing class into it again.

 

[TheMrBurns]

Venezuelan beaver cheese?

 

[ExiledWelshman]

Obvs not a Python quote.

I want Respond with The Thick Of It and Respond with The Wire threads.

But I think I'd be on my own.

 

[MrEd63]

My hovercraft is full of eels

 

[ashik09]

Obvs not a Python quote.

I want Respond with The Thick Of It and Respond with The Wire threads.

But I think I'd be on my own.

That's because you're a boring F * * CUNT!