ShyGuy1855
Just Me
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2013
- Posts
- 2,243
She turned me into a newt!... I got better though.
Respond with Monty Python
- Thread starter blulilacgrl
- Start date
akaSol
Natural born Irish
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2008
- Posts
- 10,181
Origin of Worm's holy hand grenade
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number to be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it"
>Sol
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number to be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it"
>Sol
AbsintheFather
Passing some time
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2009
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- 42,571
Weaseldiesel
a fuck i give not
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2006
- Posts
- 4,392
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise!... Surprise and fear... fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency! Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope... Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Hmf... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surpr... I'll come in again.
feistyphoenix
The Goddess
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2014
- Posts
- 9,869
one! two! five!
three, sir.
Three!
three, sir.
Three!
1millionsecrets
Uncredited Princess.
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2013
- Posts
- 2,394
And Oliver has ran himself over.
akaSol
Natural born Irish
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2008
- Posts
- 10,181
Here tonight, before an uninvited audience and in the gratious presence of Her Dummy Royal Highness we'll be seeing jokes, many of which are appearing for the very last time before retiring.
Amongst the glittering audience here tonight I can see, uhm...what's his name, uhm, the-the fellow with the glasses on the telly.
And next to him is,uhm...oh, uh, the lady with the big knockers in the jam commercial
>Sol
Amongst the glittering audience here tonight I can see, uhm...what's his name, uhm, the-the fellow with the glasses on the telly.
And next to him is,uhm...oh, uh, the lady with the big knockers in the jam commercial
>Sol
Deprived_in_AZ
Call me Dee :)
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2004
- Posts
- 49,747
No we're the People's Front of Judea!!
Deprived_in_AZ
Call me Dee :)
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2004
- Posts
- 49,747
Wath it thomething I thaid?!
wombat9966
Cute Fuzzy Aussie
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2012
- Posts
- 7,380
Customer: 'Not much of a cheese shop really, is it?'
Shopkeeper: 'Finest in the district, sir.'
Customer: 'And what leads you to that conclusion?'
Shopkeeper: 'Well, it's so clean.'
Customer: 'It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.'
Shopkeeper: 'Finest in the district, sir.'
Customer: 'And what leads you to that conclusion?'
Shopkeeper: 'Well, it's so clean.'
Customer: 'It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.'
Deprived_in_AZ
Call me Dee :)
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2004
- Posts
- 49,747
- The pet shop owner's brother lied!
- Can't blame British Rail for that.
- Can't blame British Rail for that.
wombat9966
Cute Fuzzy Aussie
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2012
- Posts
- 7,380
I'm Brian, and so's my wife!'
Deprived_in_AZ
Call me Dee :)
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2004
- Posts
- 49,747
I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars..
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars..
wombat9966
Cute Fuzzy Aussie
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2012
- Posts
- 7,380
All things dull and ugly
All creatures short and squat
All things rude and nasty
The Lord God made the lot
All creatures short and squat
All things rude and nasty
The Lord God made the lot
1millionsecrets
Uncredited Princess.
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2013
- Posts
- 2,394
[Sergent] Right! Now let’s see something decent and Military. Some Precision Drilling.
[Sergeant] Squad… Camp it … up!
[Miltary Fairy Team] Oooh get her! Whoops!
I’ve got your number ducky.
You couldn’t afford me, dear. Two three.
I'd scratch your eyes out.
Don’t come the brigadier bit with us, dear,
We all know where you’ve been, you military fairy!
Whoops, don’t look now girls, The major’s just minced in
With that dolly color sergeant, Two, three, ooh-ho!
[Sergeant]: Right, stop that!… its just silly.
[Sergeant] Squad… Camp it … up!
[Miltary Fairy Team] Oooh get her! Whoops!
I’ve got your number ducky.
You couldn’t afford me, dear. Two three.
I'd scratch your eyes out.
Don’t come the brigadier bit with us, dear,
We all know where you’ve been, you military fairy!
Whoops, don’t look now girls, The major’s just minced in
With that dolly color sergeant, Two, three, ooh-ho!
[Sergeant]: Right, stop that!… its just silly.
akaSol
Natural born Irish
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2008
- Posts
- 10,181
"Quiet! Quiet!
Now wait a minute!
I have already warned this program about infringing the Army copyright of our slogan 'It's a pig's life... man's life in the modern army'. And I'm warning you if it happens again, I shall come down on this program like a ton of bricks... right. "
>Sol
Now wait a minute!
I have already warned this program about infringing the Army copyright of our slogan 'It's a pig's life... man's life in the modern army'. And I'm warning you if it happens again, I shall come down on this program like a ton of bricks... right. "
>Sol
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