Respond with Monty Python

[periastron23]

That rabbit will bite your head off.

no it won't

yes it will

no it won't

 

[Cymru6969]

One of my favourite skits:Travel Agent

Mr. Bounder: Ah. Hello, I'm Bounder of Adventure.
Mr. Smoketoomuch: Oh, hello. My name is Smoketoomuch.
Mr. Bounder: What?
Mr. Smoketoomuch: My name is Smoketoomuch. Mr. Smoketoomuch.
Mr. Bounder: Well, you'd better cut down a little then.
Mr. Smoketoomuch: I'm sorry?
Mr. Bounder: You'd better cut down a little then.
Mr. Smoketoomuch: Oh, I see! Smoke too much so I'd better cut down a little then!
Mr. Bounder: Yes. Ooh, it's going to get people making jokes about your name all the time, eh?
Mr. Smoketoomuch: No, actually, it never struck me before. Smoketoomuch...

 

[skinnysinner]

And then there was the man who couldn't say the letter C, replacing it with a B.

You mean Cat?

Yes, that's right, Bat

... What a silly bunt!

 

[feistyphoenix]

bet you're gay


no i'm not!

 

[wombat9966]

especially appropriate for lit


Zoot/Dingo: And after the spanking, the oral sex!
Sir Galahad: Well, I suppose I could stay a bit longer.

 

[Erochic]

He's not the Messiah.
He's a very naughty boy.

 

[feistyphoenix]

but how do you know she is a witch?

she turned me into a newt!









I got better...

 

[jack80]

I got bettered

 

[neiljames74]

And so the final result:

The Upperclass Twit of the Year - Gervaise Brook-Hampster
Runner up - Vivian Smith-Smythe-Smith
Third - Nigel Incubator-Jones

Well there'll certainly be some car door slamming in the streets of Kensington tonight.

 

[akaSol]

"Are there any women here today?"

>Sol

 

[periastron23]

Now for something completely different.

 

[Asshungry]

Hello, Im from the Ministry of Silly Walks.

 

[leftie]

The expurgated verson of Olsen's Standard Book of British Birds?!

 

[feistyphoenix]

and i thought you were so butch!

 

[periastron23]

Come on, come at me with that banana.

 

[raiguy]

Now, you listen here! He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!

 

[Jaime_H]

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries (Holy Grail)

 

[sweetsauce]

Well last week, we showed you how to become a gynaecologist. And this week on "How to Do It" we're going to show you how to play the flute, how to split an atom, how to construct a box girder bridge, how to irrigate the Sahara Desert and make vast new areas of land cultivatable, but first, here's Jackie to tell you all how to rid the world of all known diseases.

 

[jusgoodcleanfun]

I fart in your general direction!

 

[smilingrelaxed]

That rabbit has a vicious streak a mile wide!

 

[neiljames74]

Do you want... to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

 

[feistyphoenix]

what also floats in water?

Bread!

Apples!

Uh, very small rocks!

Lead!

Churches!

....a duck.

 

[MedicalMuse]

He's not the messiah! He's a very naughty boy. Now piss off!

 

[jack80]

Oh, leave him alone! And don't pick your nose!

 

[Asshungry]

nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean know what I mean.